Discovering You, Discovering Me
by JSFazz
Summary: Edward Cullen was branded a geek and bullied every day of his life. Bella Swan was always awkward, never quite knowing where she fit in. Together they learn a bit about themselves and each other. Will they discover love as well? E/B
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Twilight is the sole property of the great Stephenie Meyer. I am simply borrowing her beloved characters for my own amusement.

**Chapter 1**

"Alice Brandon, if you do not get these pants off of me this instant I am going to lick you all over your face."

The evil sprite rolled her eyes up at me. "Classy, Bella."

"Seriously, Alice. They are cutting off the circulation to my hoo-hoo. I can't feel it anymore."

She chuckled. "Well no one's touched your hoo-hoo in eons so what does it matter if you have any feeling in there or not?"

I huffed and dropped my head in defeat as she continued turning me in circles in front of my floor length mirror, trying to determine my 'most drool-worthy angle' in these torture devices she called pants. Yet again I had been subjected to an evening of Bella the Mannequin while my so-called best friend dressed me in clothes from which I'd typically turn and run as far in the opposite direction as possible while shopping.

"Don't sulk, Bella. It's unattractive, not to mention it causes premature wrinkles."

I stuck my tongue out at her. She gave me the finger.

"Ah, there we are," she perked up as she turned my back to the mirror. "I don't even know why I bother…your ass is always your best angle."

"You're sick you know that?"

"No, Bella, I am simply trying to get you laid," she winked up at me.

"Alice, how many times must I be embarrassed and laughed at before you finally give up," I whined, stepping away from the mirror and unsuccessfully attempting to pull down the zipper on these ridiculous pants.

"Laughed at? Bella please don't let one asshole darken your outlook on the entire opposite sex."

"Ah, lest you forget. That one asshole managed to have an entire bar laughing at my expense." _Why can't I get this damn zipper down?_

"Well you did manage to leave the bathroom with your skirt in your underwear," she mumbled, trying to hold in her laugh.

"It's not my fault these damn clothes you dress me in don't come with instruction manuals." _Ow I just shredded my nail. _"Ok, these things are officially never coming off."

Sighing, Alice crawled over to me on her knees.

"Suck in, Bella." I did and she eased the zipper down. I exhaled sharply and inhaled a deep breath of fresh oxygen to my lungs as I felt the blood begin to flow back into my girly bits.

I thought we would need paint thinner to remove them the rest of the way because these things needed to be peeled off, not pulled.

"These will do," she said, folding the pants back on the hanger.

My eyes popped out of my head. "You'll never get me back into those things."

"Bella did you see how fabulous your ass looked in them? I mean seriously, it's like a beacon to these guys. They show up salivating and staring at your ass like its Thanksgiving dinner."

"Al, it doesn't matter. As soon as I open my mouth they scurry away."

I was hopeless, and she was in denial. I had been awkward Bella for as long as I can remember. An unfortunate result of my upbringing, I'm afraid. An only child raised by a single father who spoke more to the fish he caught alone on his boat in the middle of a lake than he did his own daughter. My mother had skipped out on us when I was three, refusing to waste away in the small bumfuck town where we lived. So good ole' Charlie gave it his best. I can't complain, he helped me with my homework and made sure I got to the dentist twice a year in addition to performing all the other responsibilities of a dutiful parent. But when it came to the advice and the heart-to-hearts, Charlie was as silent as the grave.

When Alice blew into my life, the force of nature that she was, I think Charlie was utterly grateful I had another female to confide in and talk to. We were 15 years old starting out at Forks High School together. She had just moved up from Olympia that summer. Clutz that I was, I tripped and fell over my own two feet that first day of freshman year, in front of the entire defensive line in their matching football jackets no less, and Alice picked me up, dusted me off and told me my Chucks were in style. We've been inseparable ever since. Alice was free spirited and energetic, to put it mildly, and she was easily liked, fitting in with just about everyone. She was popular, unbeknownst to her, and I guess I got to hang with that crowd, too, since we were attached at the hip.

She's seen me through a lot of tough times, including the recent death of Charlie. I lost him to a heart attack. I was in my final semester at UW when I received the call. While I sat in my dorm room staring out the window, my emotions trying to figure themselves out before they came exploding to the surface, I had to admit I wasn't surprised. As chief of police in our hometown of Forks, and a single father, my dad was easily stressed. Add that to a pretty consistent diet of nothing but red meat and carbohydrates and a family history of heart disease…yeah, his heart was basically a ticking time bomb. Alice had attended the Port Angeles School of Cosmetology for two years and had been working as a stylist at Glow in town when I called her. She dropped her shears and made the drive out to Seattle to pull me together after the shock finally wore off and I turned into a blubbering mess. Despite his shortcomings as a father, I still loved the old man with all my heart. He was all I had, and I missed him every second of every day. Charlie will always be the first man I ever loved.

Of course Alice had been there for all the men in my life, like my brief relationship, and consequently painful breakup with Jacob Black after he met Leah Clearwater and apparently the planets aligned or some shit because he told me he couldn't live without her. Jacob was the son of my father's best friend and the only guy I thought I'd ever love. That was until I got to college. That's where I met Mike Newton. I thought it was love at first sight. He literally swept me off my feet after another typical Bella moment of tripping over nothing, only to land right into his arms. Ok, well it wasn't quite like that, more like I fell into him and his arm got caught under my body bending his wrist back at an uncomfortable angle. But once our eyes met, I was gone. We dated for four months before I agreed to take our relationship to the next level. I gave him my virginity, and he promptly dumped me a week later. Alice confronted him during one of her visits and cursed him a blue streak, and he responded with something along the lines of "it was like fucking a dead fish." Thus went the last of my dignity and any semblance of self-respect I had.

Since then I steered clear of men, although Alice had been diligent in dragging me to bar after bar, and every club between Forks and Seattle trying to show me they're not all Mike Newtons and Jacob Blacks. So far I have yet to be impressed.

My problem wasn't getting them to approach me; Alice often dressed me as close to a prostitute as she could without me actually getting arrested. It was once they were in front of me that things went south. I turned into a babbling idiot, despite reciting Alice's notes on flirting through my head. She told me to giggle, I'd end up snorting into my drink. She told me to bat my eyes, I think I looked more like I was seizing. She told me to smile and flip my long hair over my shoulder, I'd lose my balance and slosh my drink all over the front of me, or him if he was lucky.

Yep, I was a walking disaster. Hurricane Bella, they'd called me.

"Earth to Bella," Alice shouted, startling me from my thoughts.

"Huh?" I replied intelligently.

"I said go get in the shower. I only have two hours to primp you before getting ready myself," she said, pushing me towards the bathroom. I sighed heavily, my eyes moving to the stack of bills accumulating on my desk. After graduation (I didn't walk at commencement…it was pointless without Charlie there to see me) I moved back into the Forks house. Charlie had left it to me, along with a very small in heritance. _Very_ small. I was happy to have my own place, but the bills and maintenance that went along with owning a house dampened my initial excitement about my independence. Not to mention I had to start paying off my student loans. I was an English major because I loved to read and write. However, there isn't much to do in the real world with an English degree, unless you wanted to be a journalist or a teacher, which were way low on my list of career choices. I considered pursuing advertising or public relations, but after my internship in an ad agency for a semester I decided I hated the demanding deadlines and overbearing clientele and the long hours that I watched those people deal with.

So here I was, a jobless homeowner with past due bills and the threat of living without electricity looming over her head. It was all very depressing.

"Alice, honestly, I don't feel like going tonight…"

"Oh no you don't, Isabella Marie. You're not allowed to back out on me, remember? Besides, I have a good feeling about tonight."

_Oh here we go_. "Channeling your spirit guide again, Alice?"

"Don't tease, Bella, or beware the consequences. You know my sixth sense is almost always right."

She had a point. After she eerily predicted Jacob's betrayal a month after we started dating, it was hard not to believe her at times. Then again, she never saw Mike coming, or going for that matter.

"The consequences? What, will I get struck by lightning or something if I poke fun at the psychic?"

She looked at me and raised her eyebrows. "Do you want to try and see what happens?" Her big blue eyes stared me down. I considered it for a moment before deciding that with my luck I wouldn't get struck once but twice, probably standing in the same spot.

"Ok fine, I'll get in the shower."

***

Three hours later and I was in hell…yet again. Alice had groomed me within an inch of my life and I had been poured back into the shiny black anti-circulation pants. She had been chattering excitedly away about the new bar we were going to that had just opened the weekend before in Port Angeles. After parking the car in a nearby lot, we stood in a line wrapped around the building waiting to get in, freezing my apparently delectable ass off since I had nothing but a deep purple pashmina wrapped around my shoulders for warmth. Alice told me my coat looked tacky with the awesome outfit she dressed me in, which included a short sleeved black silk blouse in addition to the pants, and before I could argue that I'd rather look tacky than deal with pneumonia she used her surprising pixie strength to push me from the car towards the bar. I stared at her bare arms in her navy blue halter top dumbfounded that the cold never bothered her. Must be all that energy in her radiating its own heat.

"Isn't this awesome?" she bounced at my side.

I couldn't stop my teeth from clacking together, I was so cold. "Alice, no bar is worth freezing to death."

"Relax, Bella, it's technically still summer."

Technically she was right, it was late September and the first day of fall was three days away, but her reasoning skills will never cease to astound me. We did live in the Pacific Northwest after all, and it was _always_ cold here. At least to me. I had thin blood and a translucent epidermis apparently because I could freeze in 90 degree heat.

"Did I tell you who owned this place?" her little head whipped around. "Emmett Cullen."

I raised my eyebrows in recognition. Emmett Cullen had gone to Forks High School with us, although he graduated in the class two years ahead of us. His brother, Edward, was in our class. The Cullen boys were pretty famous. Emmett was your stereotypical all brawn and no brain jock…star wide receiver on the football team, earned a full ride to UW. Although by the time I got there he had already dropped out after enduring a career-ending knee injury. He lost his scholarship after the doctors told him he'd never play football again, and even though his parents could afford the tuition easily, I guess he just didn't want to stay at the place where all his dreams were ripped away from him. I don't blame him for dropping out.

His younger brother Edward was famous too, although for entirely different reasons. I always felt bad for Edward – he had it rough. Edward was the biggest geek to ever grace the halls of the wonderful Forks academic institutions. He had been since the first grade. His intelligence was remarkable. I had vague memories of him sitting in the corner by himself paging through encyclopedias and reading Around the World in 80 Days to himself while the rest of us sat in a circle on the rug around our teacher who read See Jane Run and held up the book to show us the pictures. It only got worse as we got older and "being smart" was recognized as the complete opposite of "cool." Edward always looked disheveled, his brain probably working too hard and too fast for him to bother with things like personal hygiene and fashion sense. He didn't wear a pocket protector or anything, but he did have a pair of thick black glasses with tape wrapped around numerous parts after being broken on a number of occasions, probably from being pushed into lockers and deliberately tripped and face planted into the nearest wall. The bullies loved Edward…he was an easy target. His face was almost always buried in a book. I don't recall him saying much, either. Junior year of high school, we were lab partners in biology. He hardly spoke to me and often acted like he was deathly afraid of me. My clearest memory of that class was watching Edward's face turn sickly green before his eyes rolled back into his head and he dropped like a dead weight to the floor, completely fainting. Our teacher, Mr. Banner, had only just mentioned that we'd be blood typing in class that day. A finger had yet to be pricked before Edward passed out. Edward's penchant for fainting also came into play during frog dissection. I had just pinned down the thing's arms and legs and was picking up the small scalpel when I heard the thud next to me.

At lunch Edward sat alone in the corner, gnawing on a cheeseburger with one hand while holding a book open with the other, or he'd be writing in his journal, something he did a lot. He was tall, his growth spurt hitting early when we were in middle school, but he was lanky with long limbs that made him look a bit disproportionate. His shirt was always mis-buttoned, one of his shoes was always untied, and he smelled vaguely of acne cream and band aids for some reason. But Edward's signature was his hair…an unruly, greasy mess adorning his head. Alice would sometimes stare at him in the cafeteria and spout out a list of things she'd do to him if she could get her fashionista hands on him. I always thought he might not be too bad looking with the proper haircut, a good hosing down and a loofah, and a trip to the Gap. Girls never looked twice at him, choosing rather to act like he was invisible and not see him at all. During our freshmen and sophomore years, Edward had the curse of living in his older brother's shadow and celebrity status. People wondered how they could even be related. Emmett usually paid his brother little attention, not wanting to tarnish his reputation. When Edward would get bullied Emmett wouldn't step in, but he wouldn't snicker at his brother's expense either. If it ever bothered Edward, he never showed it. His face was always a void, showing no emotion whatsoever.

I never knew what became of Edward after graduation. I had heard the Ivy League schools had all accepted him, and I wouldn't have been surprised if he ended up at Harvard or Yale and was currently working on something that would earn him the Nobel Peace Prize. He was a smart guy, despite his inability to stomach most biology experiments.

Pulling myself back to the moment, I pulled my arms tighter across my chest as my frozen fingers gripped the pashmina tighter around my shoulders.

"Alice, this is ridiculous. I'm going back to the car to get my coat if we're going to stand out here all night."

A boisterous laugh from somewhere behind us caught our attention.

"I'll be damned…is that little Alice Brandon?" a booming voice echoed off the brick walls. Alice beamed and I turned around to find Emmett Cullen's toothy grin and bright eyes looking down at her. His hands were wrapped around the handles of a dolly stacked with cases of beer.

"Emmett Cullen, how the hell are you?" Alice asked, jumping and clapping her hands before she leapt at him, wrapping her tiny arms around his beefy neck. He stepped back at the force of her, his arms releasing the dolly and wrapping around her waist. His laugh was contagious, and I giggled along with him. Alice was one in a million. One would think her behavior would embarrass me…sometimes I'd hide my face in my hands at her antics, but most of the time I marveled at her ability to love life so much.

"Yep, still a freight train," Emmett chuckled, spinning her before placing her back on her feet and releasing his grip on her.

"As soon as I heard you opened a bar in Port Angeles I had to come see for myself," Alice giggled.

Emmett looked up at the building before his eyes scanned the line of people waiting to get into his establishment.

"I thought, 'I love beer and I love watching sports, might as well open a place where I can enjoy both'," he laughed.

"Spanks?" Alice questioned, her eyes drifting up to the large neon sign hung high on the outside wall.

"My nickname in college, because I "spanked" every motherfucker I barreled through to get to the endzone!"

Alice and I laughed, and Emmett finally turned his big brown eyes to me. "And who is this?"

"You remember Bella Swan?" Alice said, placing her arm around my shivering shoulders. Emmett narrowed his eyes, staring at me for a moment before the little lightbulb above his head flashed on.

"Bella…Hurricane Bella! Yeah, you were always falling down and shit, right?" he asked, pointing a finger in my direction. _Wonderful._

If it was possible to have blood flowing in my frozen veins at that moment, I probably would've been covered in a blush; however I was too freakin' cold to care.

"That's me," I said. No use in denying it. I kind of figured that'd be my legacy…Bella Swan, the one who fell down a lot.

Emmett rocked back on his heels and laughed once more before shaking his head as if he were remembering one of my more finer moments. I didn't hang with Emmett much in high school since we were sophomores when he was a senior, but Alice would often get invited to the same parties and hangouts as the football team and she'd always make me tag along.

Suddenly Emmett's smile vanished and his eyes grew wide. "Bella Swan…oh geeze. I was real sorry to hear about your dad."

That knocked the wind out of my sails for a moment…wasn't quite expecting to hear that tonight.

"My folks were real fond of him…of course, I met him a few times myself, but they weren't under the best circumstances if you know what I mean," he grinned sheepishly, casting his eyes toward his shoes.

"Thanks," I said, laughing at his sudden shyness. He looked up at me. "Don't be ashamed, Emmett. Just because I'm the chief's daughter doesn't mean I'm going to think badly about whatever my father might have caught you doing. I've been placed on house arrest many times, myself."

His big smile was back. "Bella, you look like you're about to freeze to death…where's your coat?" he asked.

"It didn't go with her outfit, Emmett. She's making a small sacrifice for the sake of fashion," Alice answered for me since my vocal chords were feeling immobilized from the cold. I could feel the tip of my nose turning red and I could see my breath on the air. Was Alice seriously not feeling this?

Emmett shook his head again. "I'll never understand women and the things they go through to look good. While Bella may look hot, Alice, she certainly doesn't feel it, am I right, Bells?"

Alice gasped and turned her eyes to me sharply as my heart stopped for a moment. No one had ever called me that…except Charlie. Alice squeezed her arm around my shoulders in a small gesture, and I willed back the tears that pricked behind my eyes. I smiled at Emmett.

"You got that right, Emmett," I replied, shooting Alice an evil glare. "Seriously, Alice, if I get sick you're the one who is going to have to deal with my whining and snottiness."

Alice rolled her eyes.

"You know what'll warm you up quick? Vodka! Come on ladies, let me buy you a drink," Emmett said, grabbing the dolly and motioning for us to follow him. We rounded the corner of the building as Emmett led us through the back door.

"I'm going to tell the guys at the door that you two are my personal friends and should always be allowed right in. No more of this waiting in line bullshit for the two of you."

"Thanks Em!" Alice replied, practically dancing through the door. He led us through the kitchen, pointing certain things out to us. I could tell he was proud of his new place of business.

Spank's was definitely busting at the seams with people. Luckily Emmett made a path with the cases of beer he was pushing right towards the bar.

"Make room, people," he bellowed, and several small groups edged away from the bar. Alice and I quickly jumped on two empty stools as Emmett made his way behind the bar where he started to unload the beer. One bartender assisted him while the other was busy filling drink orders.

I let my eyes take in the place, my entire body unclenching in the heat generated by the massive amount of people around me. There were plasma televisions of all sizes surrounding the bar. Booths lined the walls and there were free standing tables to the left of the bar. The floor on the other side of the bar was the designated dance floor. A small stage area was next to that. There were some microphone stands and cables on it so he must have bands play sometimes. In the corner of the room was another platform for the DJ, who was currently pumping club music through the speakers. The walls were decorated in various sports paraphernalia.

"What do you think?" Emmett yelled from behind the bar. I definitely had to strain my ears to hear him. Alice was buzzing beside me, her head bouncing to the beat of the music.

"It's awesome, Em. Absolutely perfect. I could do without the sports crap, but I love it!" she exclaimed.

"You hiring, Emmett?" I shouted at him.

His eyes lit up. "You tend bar, Bella?"

"Uh…no."

He thought for a moment. "Wait tables?"

I shook my head. "Hurricane Bella, remember?"

He laughed and rubbed his chin. "Well unless you want to try your hand at being a bouncer I don't think I have anything for you."

I shrugged my shoulders. "It was worth a shot."

"You warm yet, Bella? Ready for that vodka?" he asked me.

I scoffed. "Vodka and I don't mix, Emmett. But I'd love a beer."

He placed his meaty hand over his chest. "Girl after my own heart." I giggled just like Alice had taught me…and then I snorted. My eyes widened and I covered my mouth with my hand as Emmett chortled and Alice shook her head beside me.

"Very ladylike, Bella," she chastised me. "And a beer? Seriously? Are we at a kegger right now? I don't think so."

"Oh leave her alone, Alice," Emmett said. "I think women who drink beer are incredibly sexy." He winked at me. _Was Emmett Cullen flirting with me?_

Alice glanced at me and arched an eyebrow. "Well I would like an appletini, please," she said, turning her attention back to Emmett.

"Such a girly drink, why am I not surprised?" he said, winking at her too. Ok, maybe Emmett just flirted with anything that didn't have a penis. That was my guess.

"So Emmett what's the deal with the stage?" I asked, nodding my head in that direction. He placed my beer on the bar in front of me and I took a generous sip.

"I don't have anything lined up yet but I want to have some bands play here. Oh, and we have karaoke every Thursday night."

I thought for a moment. "So you're more like a sports bar meets night club meets the band scene meets karaoke bar."

Emmett shrugged. "Gotta appeal to the masses to keep the customers coming. Something for everyone. It's good business."

Alice clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh my gosh I love karaoke! Oh Bella we have to come."

"I don't sing, Alice. You know that."

"And you know that I love to sing! Besides, you never know what could happen once you get a few drinks in you."

"Actually I do know," I said as I took another sip from my beer bottle. "I end up face down on the floor."

"Oh Bella, you end up that way completely sober," she said, sighing. Emmett placed her appletini in front of her and laughed.

"She's got you there, Bells."

_That name again_. Alice gave me a wary look and I smiled at her. It was kind of nice to hear it again, especially the way Emmett said it. I found myself really liking Emmett Cullen, but more in a big brother sort of way. He was a big bear of a man, but something told me he was more of a teddy bear than a grizzly.

"Well ladies you two enjoy yourselves. I've gotta do another case run. I'll check in with you later."

"Wait, what do we owe you for the drinks?" Alice asked, pulling open her clutch.

He shook his hand in front of us. "I told you I was buying you a drink. In fact," he said, leaning in close to us, "your money is no good here." Alice and I stared at him slack-jawed. He whispered to the bartender and they both looked at us. "It's all taken care of," he called over his shoulder as he hurried away before we could protest.

We looked at each other and laughed.

"So Bella, there was another reason I wanted to take you out tonight," Alice said, leaning in close to me so she wouldn't have to shout over the noise of the bar.

"You mean besides trying to get me laid?"

She lowered her eyes and was silent for a moment, and that's when I realized that she had something serious to tell me. I furrowed my brow and turned my stool to face her.

"What's up, Al?"

"Well…Sharon has decided to close the shop and move to Miami."

My eyes widened. "Oh shit, Alice. That's terrible. So you're out of a job now?"

"Um…not exactly." She chewed on her glossed lower lip, a habit that I was typically known for.

"What do you mean?"

"I sort of…um…bought the business from her."

Stunned speechless. That was my intelligent response. "Wow!" I managed to say. Equally as intelligent.

She laughed at me. "I think you meant to say, 'how the hell did you swing that, Alice?' Well, Bella, I still live at home with mom and dad thus allowing me to really build up my savings. I also took out a small business loan to help with the rest. Sharon was more than happy to sell it to me for a deal since we are so close and knew she was leaving it in more than capable hands. And here we are!" Her blue eyes twinkled.

My face must have still registered shock as my mouth moved to speak but could form no words. Alice rolled her eyes at me.

"Speak, Bella, please!"

"Wow!" I said again. Work, brain, work. "Alice that's…I mean, that's so great! Congratulations!" I pulled her into a hug. "So you're going to own your own business…your own salon."

I pulled away from her as my mind finally processed everything she said. And then another idea popped in.

"Oh, Alice! This works out perfectly. I mean, I really need a job. Will you hire me? I can answer the phones and stuff. This is so great!" My money problems would be over, right?

Her face twisted into a grimace. "Bella…um…I didn't know…I mean, Angela, who is the receptionist there now, remember her? Well she's going to stay and work for me. She's been there for years…I can't, I can't just get rid of her. She's like family."

My face fell. _And what am I, chopped liver?_ _I hate that saying. There are worst things I could be than chopped liver. _

"Well what about around the shop…I could wash hair or sweep up or wash towels?" I was desperately grasping at straws. It wasn't beneath me to beg at this point.

Her face contorted again. "Um…I get the girls from the cosmetology school to come work for class credit to do those kinds of things. I'm really sorry, Bella."

_Damn!_

I waved her off. "Don't worry, Al. But seriously, I'm so happy for you. And proud of you. You deserve a place of your own. You're so good at what you do."

Her face lit up and I noticed her eyes get a bit watery. "Thanks Bella, that means a lot."

"So are you going to keep the name, Glow? Or are you going to change it?" I asked, quickly trying to avoid an emotional moment in the middle of a crowded bar.

"Bella, are you really hurting for cash?" she asked, catching me off guard. I blinked at her and sighed.

"You know I am, Alice. That house renders a lot of bills," I said, lifting my bottle to my lips.

The corner of her mouth turned up. "I may know of a way to help."

"What do you mean?"

"How about a roommate? You know, to help pay half the bills?"

I groaned. "I don't want to live with some stranger, Alice. I mean, first I'd have to go through the trouble of advertising for one. And then I'd have to, like, interview them and that just sounds like a long, drawn out process and more stress than I need right now…"

"Seriously, Bella? You didn't read between the lines of what I just hinted at?" She looked at me expectantly.

Lightbulb. "You mean you? You want to move in with me?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, she finally gets it!" she announced. "Duh, Bella. See? Beer equals dead brain cells."

"I blame the pants…no blood flow to the brain, remember?" I smirked. "Oh my god, Alice, this is awesome! I never thought you'd move out of your parents' house!"

"Well I'm a businesswoman now, and I need to be Miss Independent, plus how much fun will it be to live together? I can pay rent which can cover half the house expenses, and chip in for groceries and all that other stuff. It's not like you don't have the room for me. And, oooh, we can convert the extra bedroom into one large closet!"

I chuckled at her exuberance. "There's no one else I'd rather live with, Al." I'd still need to find a job to cover my half of the expenses, but having Alice move in would definitely help.

For the next hour and a half Alice scanned the crowd for what she was hoping would be my knight in shining armor. She made me stand up from my stool so that my ass was more noticeable, hoping the "beacon" would work its magic. As the hour approached 1:00, however, it seemed her plan failed. Sure a few guys came our way but she would do a quick onceover on each of them and shoo them away, deeming them unsuitable. I just laughed as I enjoyed Emmett's hospitality a bit too much. I couldn't remember what number beer I was on by that point. Alice was the designated driver and changed to water after drinking her one and only appletini almost three hours ago.

"I just don't get it," Alice said, almost to herself. I knew what she meant.

"Guess that good psychic vibe you had earlier was another fluke," I said. The crowd began to thin as we entered the wee hours of the morning. I emptied another bottle and my bladder began to protest. My head felt heavy, and I didn't think it was from the noise or the beer. I knew the beginning signs of a cold when I felt them. Probably from freezing my 'beacon' off outside before Emmett came to our rescue.

I suddenly heard an audible gasp from my best friend. Looking over at her, her eyes were trained on the corner. I followed her line of sight to the DJ booth. He was talking animatedly to Emmett and another guy. The three of them laughed and Emmett slapped his thigh before bumping fists with the DJ. The DJ returned his attentions to his laptop as another song began to play. Emmett put his hand on the other guy's shoulder as they walked to the end of the bar farthest from us. Alice's eyes followed them. She was transfixed, and I didn't think it was on Emmett.

The other guy was tall and slender, but not in a bad way. He had wavy blond hair that fell to just below his ears. He was definitely attractive, and seemed very relaxed the way he leaned against the bar, beer bottle in his hand. Emmett gestured wildly as he relayed some sort of story to the man, and he just smirked at Emmett, chuckling here and there. Everything about this guy screamed smooth.

I glanced back at Alice as she stared at the end of the bar like Elvis himself had risen from the grave and chosen Spank's as his place of resurrection. I was half tempted to wave my hand in front of her eyes to awaken her from her daze, but my bladder was screaming too loud for me to do anything other than make a beeline for the bathroom. I prayed the line wasn't too long, but let's face it, the ladies room in a bar was always at least a ten minute wait.

"Yeah you do that while I go pee," I said to Alice, laughing at her. Geeze, could she be any more obvious?

I didn't have time to answer myself before the heel of my boot got caught in the bottom rung of my stool and I fell face first onto the bar floor. _Well it was only a matter of time_.

"Ow," I deadpanned as Alice broke out of her trance long enough to notice my plight.

"Oh my god, Bella! Are you ok?" she asked, pulling me up by my arm. My hands flattened on the floor and my fingers felt sticky. Ew.

"Bells, you all right?" I heard Emmett's deep baritone from my other side before his strong hands grabbed both my arms and I was right side up in no time.

Countless eyes stared at me in my embarrassing moment and my eyes lowered to the front of me. My black blouse and tourniquet-worthy shiny pants were covered in bar floor residue. Alice scrunched up her nose at me before sighing and shaking her head.

"Ha, classic Bella," Emmett chimed in and I rolled my eyes at him. I brushed my hands across the front of my outfit, feeling so disgusting, as Emmett patted me on the shoulder. I looked over at Alice, so ready to leave at this point, but her eyes were fixed past me.

"Hi, I'm Alice, and you are?" she asked, taking two steps past me until she was on the other side of me by Emmett. She looked like a puppy dog staring up at a treat.

"Alice this is Jasper. He's a good buddy of mine from Seattle."

"Seattle, really?" she asked. Jasper nodded at her before taking his hand in hers and kissing her lightly on her knuckles.

_Ok, really? Guys actually do that?_

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Alice," he said, and I thought I detected a hint of a southern drawl.

Alice apparently had, too. "Not from Seattle originally though," she observed.

He smiled at her, his entire face lighting up. Alice was instantly dazzled.

"No, ma'am. Dallas, originally." The two of them stared at each other for a long moment. Emmett and I looked at each other, eyebrows raised in silent question. Then I shrugged my shoulders and laughed.

"Hi Jasper, I'm Bella," I cut in, breaking the silence. "And yes, this happens to me often," I said, gesturing to the floor and the front of my now ruined outfit. I hoped the dry cleaners could get this mess out. I hated when Alice spent money on clothes for me because they almost always ended up ruined.

"Bella it's a pleasure to meet you," Jasper said, only removing his eyes from Alice for a moment to acknowledge me. "I hope you're all right. That was quite a spill you took."

"Oh no, she's used to it," Emmett cut in. "You should've seen her in high school. Didn't my brother hit you in the face with a door once?"

Alice broke out of her dream state long enough to laugh at that.

"Oh yeah, that's right! I can't believe I forgot about that," she laughed along with Emmett. Jasper smiled as he watched her laugh. I think he was smiling more at the way she laughed rather than what she was laughing at. Oh yes, he was smitten.

"Yes Emmett, thank you for reminding me. I had a nice bump on my head for an entire week after that debacle." It was a horrible case of bad timing. I leaned in to open the door to the library just as Edward was pushing to door open to walk out. Apparently he was in a hurry or something because he pushed the door open with such force that it connected with my forehead and I literally saw stars behind my eyelids before landing on my back on the floor. Edward had looked horrified. He crouched next to me for a moment, his hands fluttering about me as if trying to help but not knowing what to do. When I opened my eyes I recall his face so close to mine as he leaned over me, maybe checking to see if I was still breathing? All I could see were his eyes staring intently into my own. I had never noticed how green they were, almost jade green…they were sort of beautiful. Then someone had shouted 'nice one, Cullen'. He mumbled "I'm sorry" to me before scurrying away, a chorus of laughter following him down the hall.

"How is Edward, anyway?" I asked, remembering my earlier musings about where he ended up.

Emmett's smile faded slightly and something flashed in his eyes. Was that sadness? But it was fleeting as his big smile and large dimples returned and he shook his head.

"He's good, he's good," was all he said. Emmett turned back to Jasper, but he and Alice had returned to their own little world as they spoke quietly to each other.

"Well I really have to go to the bathroom, so excuse me," I said, stepping around them.

"Watch your step!" Emmett called after me, and I gave him the finger.

***

An hour later, Alice and I were headed back to Forks. She still had that euphoric look on her face. She and Jasper had exchanged phone numbers, which I found surprising for Alice. She was very picky about her men, and often chose them like accessories. She admits she has never been in love, but that it was only a matter of time before she found her soul mate. I wish I could be a romantic like that, believing whole-heartedly that my special someone was out there waiting for me. Unfortunately my history left me a bit jaded.

"I told you I had a good feeling about tonight," Alice said, interrupting my thoughts.

I smiled. "You just thought it was about me." I nudged her shoulder.

She actually blushed, a rarity for Alice, and her tinkling laugh rang throughout the car. "He's the one, Bella. The one I've been waiting for. I just know it."

Hours later, I was dead.

At least, that's how I felt. God, why did I never learn? Too much alcohol equals major hangover. And standing out in the cold without a coat equals snot running down your nose and a sore throat. _Damn pixie!_

I sat up slowly and promptly sneezed six times in a row. Reaching over to my nightstand I grabbed a tissue and blew with all my might. That did nothing to empty the pressure I was currently feeling in my sinuses.

I eventually made it into the bathroom and turned on the shower as hot as I could stand, allowing the steam to work its magic in my nasal cavity. Once all the hot water was used up, I dried off and crept back to my room, putting on my sweat pants and worn Forks PD sweatshirt. It was my favorite.

Back in the bathroom, I rummaged through the medicine cabinet for some cold medicine, but all I found in there was some Neosporin and an old bottle of hemmerhoid cream that must've been Charlie's. Lovely.

I searched the kitchen cabinets too, but found nothing. Thankfully I did find some tea and made myself a cup, which helped, but only minutely. I'd have to go to the pharmacy, but I literally had ten dollars to my name and I needed to eat. Looks like I'd have to suffer.

Just then I heard the front door open. Seconds later Alice breezed into the kitchen all bright eyed and bushy tailed. She looked like she was floating on a cloud the way she glided into the room. I actually leaned over and looked at the floor beneath her feet to see if my observations were correct. Nope…just Alice being Alice. Correction…just Alice being Alice in _love_.

Her smile fell when she noticed me slouching in my chair at the kitchen table.

"Shit, Bella, you look like something chewed you up and spat you back out."

"Thanks, Al, I feel that way, too." I leaned my congested head into my hand. "This is all your fault." I pointed accusingly at her, my eyes glued shut. I heard something being placed on the table in front of me. Opening my eyes, I glanced at the box of tissues, then up at Alice.

"You have a little something running down…um…" she whispered, gesturing toward my nose. I grabbed a tissue and blew.

"Did you take anything?" she inquired.

"I don't have anything here."

"Then let's take a ride over to the drug store to get you something. Geeze, Bella, you can't sit here and suffer."

I snickered as she voiced my thought from a moment ago. "Unfortunately I must. I'm forced to choose between cold medicine and dinner tonight. I can handle a runny nose and a stuffy head, but I can't handle hunger."

"Oh stop being so dramatic, Bella. Since I was the one who made you stand out coat-less in the cold last night, I owe you some cold medicine, right? So I'll buy it for you. Come on, let's go. And this time, wear your coat."

"You mean I won't look tacky?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, that's exactly why you _need_ to wear it, to hide this…ensemble," she said, glaring at my sweats.

"Shut it, Al. I'm sick and these are comfy." I slid my slipper boots on and grabbed my coat.

"Bella, please. If I must be seen in public with you wearing that, can you at least put your sneakers on and lose the slippers? Why don't you throw curlers in your hair while you're at it."

I laughed at her and continued out the door, loving how toasty warm my toes felt in the slippers. "It's a drug store, Alice, not a boutique."

She rolled her eyes as she shut the door behind her. "That's not the point, Bella. You never know who you're going to run into. You should always be dressed to impress, no matter where you're going. What if your soul mate is there?"

"You think I'm going to meet my soul mate at the drug store?" I laughed but it turned in to a hacking cough and Alice shoved another tissue in my hand.

"I'm just saying…you never know."

Five minutes later we pulled into the parking lot of Forks Pharmacy. The last time I had been there was two spring breaks ago when I came down with pink eye of all things and had to get prescription eye drops after seeing Dr. Cullen. Oooh, now there's a face I didn't mind flashing back on.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen was one handsome man. Handsome was the only way to describe his looks. To say he was hot sounded so juvenile and beneath him. He was handsome, intelligent, and charming. He and his wife Esme, who was incredibly attractive herself, loved living in Forks. Why, I'll never understand. They moved down from Alaska years ago and have been active in the Forks community ever since. Esme was always a classroom mom for Edward, and president of the PTA. She was at all of Emmett's games and ran the Athletic Booster Club. And Carlisle was our family doctor forever it seemed and sat on the town council.

Their good looks and vivacious personalities obviously passed down to Emmett. I wonder if Edward was adopted?

Alice dragged my sorry ass through the front door.

"While we're here I need to get some nail polish remover and cotton balls. Do you need anything else?" she asked me.

I shook my head and searched for the cold relief aisle while Alice headed for beauty supplies. I noticed Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley behind the front counter. They were in our class, both cheerleaders. Jessica actually dated Emmett for a brief time. She thought she was hot shit then, a sophomore dating a senior and the football star. Emmett dumped her after homecoming for unknown reasons, but from what I remember of the rumor mill at that time, she was a bit too clingy for his taste. Jessica, of course, told everyone she dumped him because he had a small dick, but no one would believe that of their superstar Emmett for one second. Tracy Mott later shot that rumor down anyway after Emmett took her to the senior prom.

"Did you see who was working today?" I heard Jessica ask Lauren as she clipped her little nametag to her shirt. Lauren nodded.

"He could be so hot if he wanted to be," Lauren said, shaking her head. "It's a shame, really."

Jessica snickered as her eyes moved back towards the pharmacy. I quickly hurried down an aisle, not wanting either of them to recognize me. I only hoped I could catch up to Alice to warn her. Lauren and Jessica weren't her favorite people in high school, even though they hung in the same crowds. Alice wasn't a fan of catty gossip queens that would step on their friends to climb up the popularity ladder.

I finally found the aisle I was looking for. Holy shit. This was going to take a while. Who knew there would be such a selection? I'd have to narrow down my symptoms to choose the right one. Hmmm…Flu, Cold and Fever, Cold and Flu, Cold and Sinus, Decongestant, Daytime, Nighttime, Runny Nose, Cough…

"Can I help you?" a woman asked from behind the pharmacy. She was an older woman with silver hair pulled back into a bun. Her nametag read Mary.

Before I could answer something else caught my attention. Behind Mary were two rows of alphabetized boxes. Behind that was a raised platform with shelves upon shelves of prescription medications. And between the two was a mop of unruly hair that I'd recognize anywhere scanning the labels.

"Edward? Edward Cullen?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Chapter 2**

Have you ever seen a frightened animal? You know, eyes wide, mouth open in a silent scream as its body sits there paralyzed in fear while it watches your headlights barreling towards it? Yeah…that was Edward.

And have you ever seen the face of someone who has just been thoroughly slapped, eyes wide, mouth open in silent shock as their body stands there paralyzed in a WTF? moment and they stare at you like you have three heads? Yeah…that was me.

Edward looked…different. But the same. Does that make sense? He was still tall but his body had filled out some, from what I could see. His shoulders seemed broader, his arms not so gangly. He wore khaki pants and a light blue buttoned down shirt underneath a white lab coat. The Forks Pharmacy insignia was embroidered on the front pocket. Underneath that was his red plastic nametag. Yep, there was the proof, I was staring at Edward Cullen.

My surprise wasn't so much in how he looked; I never really expended the energy to notice him. At that moment, however, I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away. And I couldn't explain why. His hair was still an insane mess and he still wore black framed glasses, but they were thinner, sleeker, and there was no tape. They were very "in" as far as glasses were concerned these days. Alice would approve.

While we stood there glued to our places, our eyes staring wide-eyed at the other, I couldn't shake the feeling of being…drawn to him. It was strange.

I guess it was up to me to break this big bubble of silent awkwardness.

"How have you been?" I asked, stepping closer to the pharmacy counter. Mary was looking between Edward and me like she was watching a tennis match.

Finally blinking, his jaw snapped shut and he cleared his throat. His hand instinctively ran up to his disheveled locks and passed through them, gripping the ends hard before lowering his hand. His hair stayed as he had gripped it. His eyes darted from side to side as if searching for the nearest escape route.

"Fine."

_Okay._

"So have you worked here long? Are you actually a pharmacist?"

He nodded once, his lips pressing into a thin line. Obviously his social skills haven't improved.

"Well, that's great."

Silence.

Okay I was finished pulling teeth for the morning. I couldn't speak again anyway since I then erupted into another coughing fit. This one brought up some mucus. Ick, colds are so disgusting. I turned my back to Edward and Mary and blew my nose in the tissue. That didn't help.

When I turned back around, I let out a small yelp as Edward was suddenly standing in the aisle with me.

"Are you ill? Do you need help?" he asked.

I blinked. I think that was the most I had ever heard him say at one time. I couldn't help but smile. His green eyes darted down to my lips before moving over to the wide array of cold medicines. I think he was trembling or something because the clumps of hair hanging over his spectacle-covered eyes seemed to vibrate.

"Um…yeah actually. I just started with this nasty cold this morning. But, I'm a bit overwhelmed here. I'm not sure which one would work best for me."

"What are your symptoms?"

"I've got a pretty bad cough, as you just heard, and I'm really stuffed up."

"Do you have sinus pain?" he asked as his eyes scanned the shelves. I admired his profile for a moment, strong angular jaw, defined cheek bones, long eyelashes that brushed against the back of his lenses. The tendons in his neck stood out, and the only word I could think to define them at that moment was strong. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. Then I remembered he had asked me something.

I blinked up at him again, tilting my head back a bit. Was he always this much taller than me? "Huh?"

He looked back down at me. Staring at me for a moment, he raised his hands to my face. Before I could register what was happening, his fingers stretched out along my cheeks and he pressed his thumbs along the skin under my eyes.

I felt a small shock radiate throughout my face, sending tingles through the rest of my body, as his fingers massaged my face. _What the hell?_

"Does this hurt?" he asked, his voice so soft I barely heard him over the rapid thud of my heart.

All I could do was shake my head. Hurt? I felt the complete opposite of pain under his trembling fingertips at that moment.

"Holy shit! Edward Cullen…is that really you?" Alice was suddenly at my side and Edward's hands fell away from my face so quickly I actually fell forward a little bit.

He cleared his throat again and nodded once at her.

"Wow…look at you!" I inwardly shook myself out of my mini-trance and turned towards Alice. Her eyes were scanning him up and down before finally landing on his hair. She grimaced and made a small sound of disgust. Her fingers twitched, and I knew she was dying to shove him in the nearest chair, throw a smock over his shoulders, take her shears and go to town. Her eyes moved back down over his attire and stopped at his feet. "Oh…my…penny loafers. And you actually have a penny in each…wow…I haven't seen those in…a while…" Something seemed to catch in her throat and I wondered if she was about to lose her breakfast all over those shiny pennies.

Edward quickly reached over and picked up a small green box off the shelf, handing it to me.

"This should help, just follow the dosing instructions. It's non-drowsy so you can still function during the day if you need to. If you need something to help you sleep, take this," he said, handing me a small purple box. "Drink plenty of clear fluids."

I took the boxes from him, thanking him. My thumb brushed against his and I gasped, feeling a similar shock pass through my arm as when he had touched my face. _What's going on? _His green eyes were almost piercing as he looked at me. I wondered if he had felt it, too.

"You're welcome, Bella," he said softly before retreating back behind the pharmacy counter, and I found myself feeling a little disappointed by his departure. That was the first time he had said my name since our small exchange began. At least he remembered who I was.

And for some crazy reason I liked the way he said my name.

"Edward, wait!" Alice called after him, bouncing up to the pharmacy counter. He stopped before he could get to the upper platform and take refuge in the sea of prescription bottles. Spinning slowly on his heel, he eyed her cautiously as she dug into her purse and pulled out a small pink card. I immediately recognized it as one of her business cards from Glow.

"If you're ever in Port Angeles, please stop in and see me," she said. Edward looked at her like she had just asked him to run away with her to join the circus. He said nothing but took the card from her outstretched hand. "I'll hook you up with a great haircut…I'll even do it for free!"

Edward's other hand absently moved up to the hair in question and raked his fingers through it again, rearranging the mislaid strands. Alice cringed.

"Okay, we should go Alice. I got what I needed," I said, pulling her away from the counter before she could tackle Edward to the ground and pull out the highlighting foils.

"Really, I'm usually there until 8:30 most nights…any time, stop in!" she yelled out to him as I dragged her down the aisles to the front of the store. I managed one last look back at Edward who was standing like a statue with one hand in his hair and the other gripping the pink business card. He looked over to me and I mouthed 'sorry' to him, shrugging my shoulders. His cheeks blushed a deep red before he turned and practically ran behind the shelves.

"Geeze, Alice, I think you came on a little strong," I chastised her.

"I see he hasn't changed much. I mean penny loafers? Seriously? Is it 1989? And that hair! Did the man ever hear of shampoo and conditioner, or a hairbrush for that matter? He must cut his own hair. That's just unnatural. His glasses weren't too bad…they actually looked good on him."

I knew it.

"Alice?" a shrill voice called from in front of us. _Crap I forgot to warn Alice about Lauren and Jessica._

Alice's face fell for an instant before she threw on her fake smile.

"Oh my god, Jessica? And Lauren," she chirped, her eyes oozing insincerity. "How are you? It's been a long time."

"We just saw you a few months ago at Ladies' Night at Chap's in PA, remember?" Lauren laughed.

"Right…wow, that was a crazy night, wasn't it? I drank myself stupid I guess because I can't remember talking to you or anyone for that matter," Alice said through clenched teeth. I'm sure she did remember, she just chose to file that memory away under 'not worth my time.'

Jessica and Lauren laughed. "Are you still a hairdresser?" I raised my eyebrows in surprise at her condescending tone. Alice caught it, too.

"Yep…actually I just bought Glow. Two weeks from now I will be the owner of my own salon. And I have plans to expand the place to include more than just hair, tanning and nails. I want to have a spa, as well…you know, massage, waxing, facials, the works!"

I wondered if I should seek medical attention for Lauren and Jessica…they looked like they could use some help scraping their chins off the floor.

I approached the counter and put my purchases on top. Alice placed her nail polish remover and bag of cotton balls beside it.

"And how's working the cash register at Forks Pharmacy?" Alice asked, sounding like she was really interested.

Jessica and Lauren snuck a glance at each other before lowering their eyes to the floor. Yeah, they had nothing over Alice…never did. Alice could be a janitor at Forks High School and she'd still have more class than these two bitches.

"Is this it?" Lauren asked, ringing up the items.

"Yep," Alice exclaimed, opening her wallet. "What a coincidence, Bella, seeing all these people from high school on just a quick trip to the drug store."

"Bella? Bella Swan?" Jessica asked incredulously. _Damn!_ I thought my cold made me look horrible enough to be unrecognizable.

"Hey, Jess…Lauren," I smiled tightly.

"You look…" Jessica trailed off.

"Like shit, I know. I'm sick," I replied, glaring openly at her.

"Did Edward help you pick these out?" Lauren snickered, tossing my cold medicine in a bag.

"Yeah," I replied, feeling myself blush at the memory of his long fingers massaging my face. What was that, anyway? And why are my insides feeling all tingly just thinking about it?

Lauren and Jessica's head snapped up like they were possessed by demons. According to the looks on their faces I had just said something massively interesting.

"What?" I asked, honestly confused.

"Edward Cullen…talked to you?" Lauren whispered, her eyes darting quickly towards the back.

"Why, is that out of the ordinary or something?" Alice asked, leaning in closer to the counter. Her demeanor changed…she was actually curious.

Jessica shrugged. "He's worked here for three months and I don't think I've ever heard him say more than three words...total. Mary said he talks to her, but only ever about work stuff. Sometimes we see him talking to customers, but he's usually real quick and right to the point."

I nodded. "That's basically how he was with me." _Besides the touchy-feely moment._

"And of course he has to talk on the phone sometimes to doctors and other pharmacies and stuff, but the guy can never just hang out, you know? " Lauren chuckled.

I rolled my eyes.

"Well, Edward's never been much for 'hanging out'," I said. "He was never good with people. I guess he didn't grow out of that."

Jessica and Lauren both shook their heads, and Alice joined in. They seemed to be thinking the same thing, and I had no clue what it was.

"What?" I asked Alice.

"It's just…he's got potential, you know?" she said. Lauren and Jessica's eyes grew wide.

"I know, right?!" Lauren squealed before Jessica shushed her and smacked her arm. There were no other customers in the store. I turned slightly and noticed Mary's eyes watching us. Edward was nowhere to be seen.

"Potential?" I asked, turning my attention back to Alice.

"Clean up the hair, lose the glasses, get him in some decent clothes, burn the penny loafers…I can't believe I'm saying this, but Edward Cullen could be drool worthy," Alice clarified. Jessica and Lauren nodded their heads in sync like they were freakin' twins…or pod people.

"I don't know, other than the hair, I don't think he looks that bad," I said. Three sets of eyes turned my way.

Thankfully another coughing fit saved me from having to take this discussion any further. Alice immediately changed focus and pulled some cash out of her wallet, handing it to Lauren.

"You sound horrible, Bella," Lauren said, taking the money from Alice. I'm pretty sure my face read 'no duh.'

"So, Bella, what are you doing these days?" Jessica asked.

_God I hated this question._

"Not much…I graduated from U-Dub in May and moved back into the house…" I stopped there, knowing what was coming next.

"We were so sorry to hear about your dad, Bella," Jessica said, and for a moment I thought she might have meant it. "I can't imagine what it must be like to lose your dad." Her voice turned soft at the end.

Maybe Jessica wasn't such a bitch after all.

"Um…thanks," I mumbled. _Change the subject._ "So, yeah, I'm kind of job hunting at the moment."

Lauren giggled. "You can come to work here."

My eyes snapped to her. "Really?"

She looked at me. "Oh…I was just joking. Well, no, I mean we're hiring but…"

"Are you that desperate for a job, Bella?" Jessica chimed in.

I felt anger bubble beneath the surface but after a moment I resigned myself to the fact that yes, I was desperate. At this point I'd fucking pump gas if I had to.

Sighing heavily, I nodded. "Yes, totally desperate."

Jessica smiled. "Don't worry, Bella. Why else do you think I'm working here? I mean, I have a fucking bachelor's degree in education and my teaching certification, but are there any teaching jobs available? Hell no."

Interesting. I never thought of Jessica Stanley as a teacher. Oh well, to each his own. I personally wouldn't want her shaping my children's minds.

Lauren nodded. "I went to the community college and got my associate's degree and was working at the bank as a teller for a year and a half until the bank merged with another and half of us got laid off. This was all I could find. Trust me, I'm hunting the classifieds every day."

I snorted. "Well aren't we a damn walking advertisement for the weak economy. Except for you, Alice."

"Yep, I'm proof that there is hope that things will turn around."

I wanted to laugh, but the phlegm in my throat decided otherwise as I buried my face into my elbow and hacked away.

"Uh oh, the boss is watching," Jessica snickered. She reached over and handed Alice the bag. I turned around and noticed Edward looking in our direction…well, more specifically, at me. He quickly blushed when our eyes met and turned away.

"So you said you were hiring?" I asked.

Lauren nodded. "Not for a cashier, though. They need another aide back in the pharmacy. Mary is officially retiring from her part-time duties."

"Oh," I said.

"But it's basically like being a cashier. I mean you still ring customers up and everything, but you also help fill prescriptions and take phone orders and check inventory and stuff."

I shrugged. "Sounds easy enough. Is Edward the manager?"

"He's the daytime manager," Jessica replied. "The other pharmacist, James, works the afternoon to evening shift and he's manager then. Eleazar Denali owns the place, but he also owns a pharmacy in Port Angeles and that's where he works full time."

"Yeah, and his younger sister Tanya is the other pharmacy aide who works here, but she's usually on nights with James. She likes to act like she owns the place in her brother's absence, which is a bunch of crap. She and James are class acts, though, let me tell you," Lauren added.

Alice's eyes lit up, always hungry for gossip, even if she didn't know who the gossip was about.

"If you want to apply, you'll need to fill out an application and turn it into Edward or James," Jessica said. Apparently there would be no elaborating on this James and Tanya. And I could care less.

I was growing wearier on my feet by the second, and while this conversation was kind of important, I was ready to get home and crawl back under my covers.

"Thanks for the tip, I'll think about it," I said. "We should go, Alice."

"Sure, Bella."

"Hey Alice let us know when your spa opens. Consider us new customers," Lauren called after us. Alice closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning around, smiling and waving at them.

"You bet!"

***

Two hours later I was curled up on my couch under my favorite afghan that Grandma Swan had knitted for me when I was a baby. The t.v. was on but I wasn't really watching it. Alice had left an hour earlier, having to get to work. We decided she would start moving her stuff in the following weekend. I was thrilled about it. Not only would I be living with Alice, who was practically my sister, but living in this house would be a bit easier. It was hard not to look around and see Charlie everywhere. I hadn't changed a thing in the décor since moving back. Charlie's prized bass still hung on the wall over the fireplace, and his favorite recliner sat untouched next to the couch. I couldn't bring myself to ever sit in it. It still held an impression from his body spending countless nights nestled in its leathery confines. I can still picture him reclined back, snoring away with the Mariners game on in the background.

Some nights it was hard to battle the loneliness that easily crept its way in. The inevitable silence that came with living alone could be unsettling at times, no matter how loud I had the t.v. or radio. Having Alice around would change that, and I couldn't wait to share this house with someone again.

Reaching over to the coffee table, I grabbed my day planner and flipped the pages to next week. I found it odd to have a day planner considering I had no life to speak of or appointments to schedule for that matter, but I had always had one and found it easier to keep myself organized with one. I found today's date and turned the page, pen at the ready to write down Alice's move in date when another scribble in red ink grabbed my attention. I immediately cringed. My annual visit to the gynecologist…a woman's favorite time of year. Yippee. I almost forgot the appointment I had made nearly two months ago for next Friday. Well it would be a productive weekend, that's for sure.

I made the note in my planner and closed the book, tossing it back on the table. Burrowing my head back into the sofa pillow, I closed my eyes and let my thoughts wander. The cold medicine I had taken as soon as I left the pharmacy had helped some. My nose stopped running for now and I hadn't coughed in the last hour. I remembered Edward's advice and kept sipping from a big glass of watered down apple juice.

_Edward._

I don't know why I couldn't seem to get him off my mind since our moment in the cold and flu aisle. He touched me. His fingertips felt feather light on my cheeks, the slight pressure he forced along my skull strangely soothing. There was an intensity in his eyes as he looked down at me, gauging my pain level, and his brow was slightly creased as if he was concerned about what he saw. And the electric current that passed through me at his touch came from nowhere. The memory of it shot another shiver through my body.

Once we had left the store and got into Alice's car, I felt a small desire to go right back in and talk to Edward some more. According to Lauren and Jessica he had a hard time talking to people, but I had always remembered him to be that way. But during our brief interlude, I got another vibe from him. While he seemed shocked to see me, there was also something else there beneath his obvious nervousness. Like an interest in seeing me. I caught him staring at me while I was talking to the girls, like he was curious.

Laughing at myself for overanalyzing something that was probably nothing, I went to buckle my seatbelt and immediately winced as I realized what I looked like. Baggy sweats, slippered feet, snotty tissue balled up in my hand. Oh yeah, Edward was curious all right…maybe about how the years had been unkind to Bella Swan. I didn't quite have the look one went for when attending a high school reunion. Alice's earlier advice had echoed through my ears. She was right - you never know who you're going to run into. I hate it when she's right.

The sound of my cell phone chirping startled me. _Speaking of the sprite…_

I opened my cell to reveal a text from Alice.

_OMG Jasper just called and I'm dying…have a date tomorrow night _

I quickly typed a reply.

_And I bet you knew as soon as you left the bar last night what outfit you'd be wearing for your first date_

I chuckled.

_Teasing the psychic again? You're asking for it. Call u later_

Shaking my head, I put my phone on the coffee table. Sighing I sank back into the sofa cushions and pulled the afghan up to my chin.

I was bored.

Despite feeling horrible, I was still bored. I needed a job. Thinking back to the pharmacy, I decided to go ahead and apply for that job, even if I held a degree in English and aspired to be a published novelist one day.

Pharmacy aides can dream, can't they?

And besides, I'd be working alongside Edward…and maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay in posting. I promise to try to post as quickly as possible. But I do have three little ones and finding time to write can be a challenge. I am so devoted to this story, however, so please don't give up on me! I appreciate the reviews I've received so far…they keep me motivated!

**Chapter 3**

It was just a thought, but I didn't believe a good job applicant went to her prospective employer asking for a job while hacking mucus all over him and sounding like her nose was being held closed with a clothespin, even if it was at a pharmacy. Unfortunately I'd have to wait to apply until this damn cold was through with me.

I took advantage of my sick time to be just that…sick. I slept and drank juice and numbed my mind with hours of old reruns and cheesy game shows. By Monday afternoon I began to feel slightly human again, and my appetite had returned in full force. I sat at my kitchen table and inhaled a big steaming bowl of chicken soup, specially homemade by Mrs. Brandon, bless her heart. Alice had dropped it off yesterday when she stopped by to check on me and drop off a few (or a dozen) boxes of her stuff. We had agreed that she'd move in the following weekend, but she didn't see a problem with bringing a few things over each time she visited. As I eyed the stack of boxes in the living room, I grew slightly nervous at all Alice would be bringing with her, and most likely overtaking my house. I quickly quelled the nerves, however, when I decided that this house needed life inside it again, and Alice was full of life. I didn't care if she turned the entire living room into storage for her entire shoe collection…she would be good for me and this house.

The sound of my ring tone caught my attention and I smiled through a spoonful of chicken and carrots. As usual, whenever I thought of Alice she'd end up calling me or walking through my door. _Clever psychic pixie_.

But I had been expecting this call since she informed me of her date with Jasper two days ago.

"So, are you bringing him to meet your parents yet?" I asked after flipping open my phone. I sipped another yummy spoonful of broth, the tangy burn warming my sore throat.

"Bella? Are you awake? Of course you're awake. I'm talking to you. Are you decent? Not that it matters…"

"Alice, breathe. Of course I'm awake; it's the middle of the afternoon. What are you…?" I was immediately interrupted by the sound of my front door opening and closing, and the quick pitter patter of tiny feet flitting into my kitchen. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, closing my phone and placing it back on the table.

"Good because this conversation is much too important to dish out over the phone," Alice trilled, perching herself atop the counter. "Enjoying mom's soup, I see."

I nodded enthusiastically at her. "It's delicious and just what I needed. Please tell her again I said thanks."

"Yeah, yeah. So, last night…" Alice sighed and lifted her eyes, smiling as if she could see Jasper's face ingrained in the popcorn ceiling.

I laughed at her dramatic pause and shook my head again.

"Oh man…you are sooooo going to marry him and have his babies, aren't you?"

Alice glared at me but couldn't contain the smile that wanted to remain permanently plastered on her petite face.

"He is just…so perfect, Bella. We immediately clicked, and I don't mean after an entire night. Like, as soon as our eyes met there was just this intensity between us and I just knew…he's it for me."

While I've seen Alice date many guys, I've never seen her react this way to any of them. She was always a romantic at heart, but she was always wary of men, never trusting her heart to just any old Joe Shmo. Alice had always believed, ever since she was a little girl, in soul mates and that there is only one person out there that we're meant to be with forever. Personally I thought that was a load of crap. I mean, look at my parents. My father was utterly devoted to my mother and worshipped the ground she walked on; yet that wasn't enough to keep her here, and apparently neither was I. And then take my own relationship history – I gave my heart to a boy who trampled all over it as he ran into the arms of another girl (who, incidentally, he claimed was his own soul mate), and after piecing it together again, I offered my bruised heart once more, only to have it spat upon with one "dead fish" comment. One could see why I would be such a cynic about love.

As Alice happily regaled me with the details of her date with Jasper, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. She was literally glowing as she talked about him, the way he held her hand and opened doors for her and kept his hand on the small of her back as he led her through the restaurant. I wanted a guy to do that for me. What girl wouldn't? Alice giggled as she told me how she had an eyelash on her cheek and Jasper ran his finger against her cheek to remove it, then he had her make a wish and blow it away.

My thoughts immediately veered off course to a recent memory of long, trembling fingers ghosting across my own face.

_Edward_.

Whoa…where did that come from? I felt my face begin to burn with a blush and I quickly put down my spoon and lifted the bowl to my mouth to slurp the remaining broth while simultaneously hiding my face before Alice could question me.

To be honest, I had not been able to forget about his touch. I still don't quite understand why he did it. Something about sinus pain? All I could think about was that he was touching me, and it felt nice. So nice that it send an electric shock through my body and certain parts of my anatomy were still buzzing just thinking about it.

"And get this, he's moving to Port Angeles! At least for a while. His grandmother lived there her whole life and she recently passed away, leaving her house to Jasper and his twin sister. His dad grew up here and then moved to Dallas for school, where he met Jasper's mom and they started their family there. Then Jasper's dad moved them to Seattle for a job transfer so he could be closer to the rest of his family. Jasper went to U-Dub and just finished his master's degree in history. He's going to be a history professor at Port Angeles Community College, but that's just a side gig while he focuses on writing his book."

I caught the words "writing book" in her rant and that piqued my interest.

"He's a writer?" I asked.

She nodded, pride bursting from her love struck eyes. "He's writing a book about the Civil War or something. He's hoping to get it published one day."

That impressed me.

"So he's moving into his grandmother's house, well now it's his house I guess, as we speak and his sister is driving out this weekend. You want more 'signs' that Jasper and I were meant to be together? His sister, Rosalie? She's a stylist, too!"

Alice refused to call herself a hairdresser. Stylist sounded more chic.

"So I told Jasper to have her get in touch with me when she got into town and got settled because guess who is about to become the owner of an awesome salon right in Port Angeles and is totally looking for qualified stylists to join her team?"

I rolled my eyes because I knew she wouldn't continue until I actually answered her rhetorical question.

"You?"

Laughing loudly, she clapped her hands and kicked her feet against the bottom cabinets like a toddler. "That's right!"

Standing, I collected my empty bowl and spoon and moved to the sink, rinsing them off.

"Doesn't get much more coincidental than that."

"So are you going to ask me how we ended the date?" Alice asked with a coy smile. She straightened her legs out in front of her and tented her fingers on her knees.

"You guys went at it like rabbits in the back seat of his car and he had you seeing stars and hearing choirs of angels as he gave you the big O over and over again?"

Alice's smile fell and she glared at me.

"No, Bella. I'll have you know that Jasper is a true gentleman."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Wow, they actually exist?"

She smirked and nodded.

I sighed and turned my full attention on her. "Okay, Alice, I know you live for this gushy girl stuff so go ahead and tell me how your date ended, and I want to hear every gory detail about your sloppy tongue kisses, because gentleman or not, I know he had his tongue down your throat by the way you're practically glowing over there…and don't try to deny it."

She couldn't.

***

By Wednesday I was feeling more like myself and only felt minimal traces of my cold still lingering. No matter how many different ways I tried to rearrange the stack of bills on my desk, they weren't going away and it was only a matter of time before the creditors started calling. I still perused the classifieds and was disheartened to see there was practically nothing as far as a job was concerned. Not that I knew what I wanted to do really. I was slightly jealous of Jasper and his ability to earn an income while writing his masterpiece. That would've been nice, not that I wanted to teach college classes, or had any idea of what I would write about.

Right now I didn't care what I had to do to earn a paycheck. I was desperate, so pharmacy aide it would be…hopefully.

I ransacked my disorganized closet, completely clueless as to what to wear. Alice was surprisingly no help.

"I can't believe it. I'm stumped. You've actually managed to stump me. I mean, what the hell does one wear to a job interview at a small town pharmacy?" Alice asked, exasperated. I held my phone between my shoulder and my ear as my hands diligently sifted through my clothes.

Alice sighed on the other end of the line.

"Okay, I'm going to just guess on this one. Casual yet professional. Wear your fitted khakis and that navy blue V-neck sweater."

I exhaled in relief. "Perfect...khakis, blue sweater, got it!" I pulled the items from their mismatched hangers and threw them on my bed. Then I returned to the closet and crouched down on the floor.

"And Bella, no sneakers," Alice yelled through the phone. I hastily dropped my Nikes. How did she do that? "Wear your brown ankle boots."

I growled as I crawled to the back of my closet. "Alice you know I can't walk across a flat surface in those boots."

"Then I suggest you put them on now and get some practice in. You can't wear sneakers with everything, Bella. That's just tacky."

"Can I wear my coat with this outfit or is that tacky, too," I snapped.

"I'll forgive your bitchiness right now because I know you're nervous and desperate."

Guilt immediately seeped in. "Sorry, Al. You're right."

"No worries, sweetie. I gotta run; my cut and blow-dry just arrived. Call me later and let me know how you make out, okay?"

"Sure thing. Thanks again."

Glancing at the clock I cursed and hurried to get ready. I wanted Edward to be there when I went in, and I remembered Jess and Lauren saying he worked the morning to afternoon shift. I could only assume he'd be done before late in the afternoon. It was a little after two o'clock.

After getting dressed, I ran a brush through my hair and left it to fall in waves around my shoulders. I applied some light makeup and put on some small gold earrings. Taking one last look in the mirror, I sighed and realized this was as good as I'd get. Grabbing my purse I threw on my coat and ran out the door.

The Forks Pharmacy parking lot was pretty empty, yet again. I wondered how busy this place actually got. Probably not too much, since people didn't really linger at the drug store. It was typically a run in, grab your shit, and run out type of place.

I parked my rusty old truck next to a brand new, shiny silver Volvo. Getting out, I glanced back at the two cars and had to laugh at the vast differences.

As I approached the door, I silently prayed that my feet in these boots wouldn't revolt against me and keep me upright. I noticed the generic Help Wanted sign taped inside the door and hurried my steps. Apparently I assumed there would be a line around the block of applicants vying for the coveted pharmacy aide position.

I immediately spotted Jessica behind the front register. She was flipping through a magazine and simultaneously twirling a lock of hair around her fingers. Her mouth moved as she chewed a piece of gum, and I momentarily pictured a cow chewing cud. The similarity was astounding.

"Bella?"

My eyes shot up from her gum gnashing to find her staring at me.

"Hey Jess, how's it going?" I nervously tucked a lock of hair behind my ears as my hands began to fidget nervously.

"Groovy," she rolled her eyes and glanced out at the store. "Dead as usual."

I nodded, unsure of how to respond. I unzipped my coat and shifted my feet. Her eyes moved to my outfit, and her brow furrowed.

"I see you're still hiring," I said, motioning to the Help Wanted sign behind me. Realization flashed in her heavily-lined eyes.

"Uh…yeah. Are you…are you here to apply?"

I pressed my lips in a tight line and raised my eyebrows, nodding. "Looks like Forks isn't offering much in the employment department. So I thought I'd try my luck here. Like I said…I'm desperate."

Jessica shrugged and snapped her gum. "I know what you mean."

I stood there awkwardly, my eyes moving back to the pharmacy. It was hard to see from the front of the store, but I could hear a woman's voice floating up from the back and wondered who Mary was speaking to. Was Edward here?

The thought of seeing him again sent a thrill through me, and my heartbeat began to quicken. And the sudden realization that I was excited to see Edward Cullen had me so confused that I forgot, for a moment, where I was and what I was doing there.

"Um, you need to go back to see Edward then, if you're here for the job. You'll need to get an application from him," Jessica said, interrupting my internal mindfreak.

"Thanks," I mumbled, turning and walking down the end aisle. My eyes were trained on the linoleum tiled floor as my mind raced with what I would say to Edward. Why was I so worked up about seeing him? Maybe because he could be my sort of boss? Yes, that had to be it. He would be the one I'd be working with, who would decide my fate right then on whether or not I'd have a job at all. On Edward Cullen's shoulders rested my entire immediate future and whether or not I'd have food to stock in my refrigerator or gas to put in my truck.

Lauren's voice grousing something about "idiots" caused me to look up. She was meandering up the aisle, wiping her hands on her pants. She spotted me right away and stopped.

"Hey Bella," she said, just as surprised as Jessica to see me. Okay, that just made this entire ordeal that much more embarrassing. I mean seriously, was it that surprising to think of Bella Swan working a minimum wage job at a drug store? Apparently Jess and Lauren didn't think too highly of themselves.

"Hi, Lauren," I replied, smiling faintly. "I'm here to apply for the pharmacy aide job." I decided it was best to just put it out there right away.

"I figured," she responded. "Well, just be careful walking back there. Some idiot dropped his Snapple earlier and I just finished mopping up the floor in front of the refrigerators. It's still pretty wet."

Thank God for Lauren Mallory! While I was praying I'd make it through the store without a Hurricane Bella moment, I knew I was completely screwed if I had to traverse a sopping wet linoleum floor. A detour through another aisle would be wise.

"Thanks," I replied sincerely. She smiled at me and continued up the aisle towards the front of the store.

I immediately spotted the yellow "Wet Floor" sign tented in the middle of the refrigerator aisle in front of me. But before I could turn left and find a much safer route back to the pharmacy, _he_ came into view.

Edward stepped around the corner, his eyes trained on the shelves in front of him, clipboard in his hand. His eyes moved from the clipboard to the shelves as he continually checked things off on a piece of paper. His hair was in completely disarray, as always, and his glasses were perched lower on his sharp nose. I watched as his lips moved silently, whispering to himself as he read labels and matched them to the sheet in front of him. I stared at his hands as they moved gracefully along the paper, and the way his long fingers wrapped around his pen.

Before I knew what was happening, my feet continued moving down the aisle towards him, completely ignoring the bright, neon yellow warning sign in front of me. My eyes were glued to Edward Cullen, for today he was not wearing his white lab coat. Oh no. He was wearing a dark green shirt tucked neatly into perfectly pressed khaki pants that hugged his ass so nicely. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and I couldn't help but notice the tight tendons in his arm moving back and forth as he gripped and released the clipboard.

It was against the natural order of things, but I was actually physically drooling over Edward freakin' Cullen. Penny loafers and all.

I guess he heard me coming down the aisle, and I took a moment to make sure I wasn't breathing all heavy and open-mouthed like a Neanderthal as he turned towards me, green eyes wide. Edward once again looked almost frightened to see me, but I was too distracted to care. His pen was in his mouth, and my eyes moved to his lips, his bottom one slightly fuller than the top. I caught a glimpse of his teeth as they gnawed on the top of the pen, the tip of his pink tongue circling around…

And then the inevitable happened. Much like the cartoon dog who steps on a banana peel, my right foot found no purchase on the wet floor and flew up in front of me, causing my body to fall backwards. I landed flat on my back, the wind leaving me in a whoosh as I connected with the linoleum. My head smacked against the hard floor and I temporarily saw blue and red stars before my vision cleared and focused on the bright fluorescent lights overhead. Lolling my head to the right, I noticed one of those large security mirrors hanging in the corner. In my daze I was able to make out Jessica and Lauren at the front of the store looking up into the mirror, completely witnessing my demise. They were huddled together and snickering, and I heard a distant "oh my God I can't believe she just did that."

_Bitches._

I heard a sound at my left and I rolled my head to the other side. My eyes landed immediately on two shiny pennies glinting back at me.

"Bella?" said a soft velvet voice, and it sounded almost angelic to me. I must have had a concussion.

I moved my eyes from the pennies upward as Edward crouched by my side. His trembling hands fluttered around me, and I was taken back to that memory of when he hit me in the head with the library door and we found ourselves much in the same position as we were now.

My eyes met his, and I could see the concern there. Concern for me. I noticed his glasses were askew and just then my hand had a mind of its own as it raised itself (because my brain apparently wasn't running the show at that moment) and straightened his glasses on his face. I heard him gasp.

That sound forced me back into coherency as I pulled away from him and pushed myself up on my elbows. As the fog in my mind cleared, realization set in and I felt the blush creep into my cheeks.

_Wonderful first impression, Bella. The job is surely yours!_

I sat up straighter and felt the room spin for a moment. Closing my eyes, I shook my head to reset my marbles.

"Are you all right?" Edward asked, his voice still a whisper.

Opening my eyes, I signed in defeat and nodded. "I'll live; I've taken worse spills than that before."

"Here," he said, offering his hand. I looked at it for a moment, the lines and creases mapping out his palm, his long fingers curved upward in anticipation of grasping my own hand within his. It was comforting.

I slid my small hand in his and felt that jolt race up my arm and down my spine. I shuddered and my eyes fell closed. I felt him pull me up to a standing position, and when I opened my eyes, they met his chest, which was rapidly moving up and down, like he was breathing heavily. It was hypnotizing. I lazily trailed my eyes up his chest to his neck and watched him swallow hard as his Adam's apple danced. My eyes continued to move north, anticipating that full lower lip and hoping to catch another glimpse of the tip of his tongue. I felt a heaviness in my chest as I drank in the sight of his clean shaven chin with its perfectly centered dimple, and the trail of something blue streaked across his pale skin, following the blue path to those perfect lips…wait, what?

Shaking myself out of my lustful stupor, I focused on his chin again and realized I wasn't seeing things. There was something blue smeared all over his lips and chin. Recalling my last memory before I went down, I saw him chewing absentmindedly on his pen. He must have bit down on it or something when he saw me fall, and he was now wearing the ink on his face.

I smiled and bit down on my bottom lip.

"Uh…Edward, you have…a little something…" I said, motioning to my own chin.

His brows furrowed in confusion as he watched me motion toward my mouth, and I noticed his eyes linger for a moment, the green in them lightening just a bit. Apparently he didn't get what I was saying.

"You have ink on your face, Edward," I said, motioning again.

His eyes widened as his hand instinctively went to his face. However, his hand was also covered in ink and he only smeared more onto his chin as he attempted to wipe it away. I looked down and saw the pen in question lying at his feet beside his clipboard, a small amount of ink still seeping from it. His other hand was still grasping mine. I giggled, feeling utterly giddy that we were still holding hands.

I think he misinterpreted my giggle, however, as he promptly released my hand and ran down the aisle and through a gray door, out of my sight. He probably thought I was laughing at him and his inkiness.

Feeling rather guilty, and still immensely embarrassed, I glared at the slippery floor before slowly and hesitantly walking the rest of the way down the aisle towards the pharmacy. I still had a job to apply for. I only hoped Edward didn't laugh in my face when I asked him for an application.

I spotted Mary and she was talking on the phone while typing something into a computer. I still didn't see Edward. In the corner sat a row of chairs and a small table with some magazines and brochures. I sat myself down and clasped my hands together in my lap. My knees bopped up and down rapidly as I waited for Edward to reappear. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing my nerves to settle.

I glanced quickly through the magazines but decided I didn't feel like reading. I picked through the brochures but was uninterested in learning about the latest cholesterol drug or the importance of prenatal vitamins. I saw a blood pressure machine, you know the kind you can sit at and do yourself, but thought it best not to play with what was most likely an expensive piece of equipment. With my luck I'd break it.

Finally after what seemed like an hour, but was probably only five or ten minutes, the gray door opened and Edward stepped out, ink free. He looked straight ahead down the refrigerator aisle before sighing and running his hand through his tousled hair. Taking a few steps into the aisle, he disappeared from my sight before reappearing, his clipboard and broken pen in hand. He still hadn't noticed me sitting in the corner. Stepping back behind the pharmacy counter, he turned his back to me as he rifled through a box.

"Are you all right, dear?"

My attention abruptly turned to the elderly woman behind the counter. I must have looked confused because she seemed to feel the need to elaborate.

"I saw you fall…in the mirror." She pointed to the corner of the ceiling, towards the same mirror in which I saw Jessica and Lauren laughing at me.

I nodded. "That happens to me a lot," I explained. "Wet floors and I don't mix."

Mary cringed as if she could feel my pain and embarrassment.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" she asked, probably wondering why I was sitting in the waiting area to begin with.

I looked back at Edward who finally realized I was sitting there. He was holding a small box of what looked like empty prescription bottles. And once again, he looked horrified and stricken as his eyes locked on mine. Seriously…what was that about? Did I look like an extra out of the Thriller video, or what?

"Actually," I said, rising. "I wanted to apply for the job opening."

Edward's jaw dropped, as did the box of prescription bottles from his hand. The three of us heard a thud as it hit the floor, followed by the sound of plastic bottles scattering.

Mary sighed and moved towards Edward, crouching down behind the counter. From the expression on her face, it didn't appear to be the first time Edward made a mess back there. That wouldn't surprise me in the least. That would only prove that he was still the Edward Cullen I remember, who was just as much a walking disaster as I was.

Although at that particular moment, I felt like I may have been the cause of his butter fingers. He stood there gaping at me like some beautiful, greasy-haired, geeky god, his hands trembling at his sides. I could see Mary's gray hair bopping up and down from behind the counter as she reached to and fro collecting stray bottles. I heard her clear her throat and Edward blinked.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

Edward cleared his throat a few times before looking around the pharmacy in search of something.

"Um…no. Uh…you need to…um…" He seemed to be frantically scanning the back of the counter, his trembling increasing.

Mary stood and put the refilled box on top of the counter. Reaching down, she produced a piece of paper and a pen and handed them to me.

"You'll need to fill this out, dear.

Edward busied himself behind the counter as I sat in the chair and completed the application. I didn't have much job experience. Charlie always wanted me to keep my grades up, although I did help out around the station sometimes with filing and other odd jobs. At school I worked briefly for one semester in the campus bookstore, but my hours interfered with my class schedule so I quit.

"Edward, I'm going to clock out now," I heard Mary say.

"Thanks, Mary," Edward replied quietly. I glanced up and caught him looking at me. He blushed and quickly lowered his eyes, staring intently at whatever he was doing in front of him. I noticed a light blue tinge to his chin, like he couldn't quite get all the ink off, but it wasn't too bad.

I took one last look at the application and sighed. Standing, I moved toward the counter and placed the paper on top. Edward noticed and stepped out from behind the pharmacy counter, slowly moving towards me. Once he was directly in front of me, he reached over and slid the paper towards him.

"Well, there it is," I said. _Thank you, Captain Obvious_.

Edward nodded tight-lipped and scanned the paper. I fidgeted nervously as he flipped it over and read the job experience section. My palms began to sweat. Edward straightened his glasses. He was fidgeting, too.

I decided I couldn't handle it anymore. When I get nervous, I babble…usually with my verbal filter turned off.

"Look, Edward, I know I don't have an extensive job history, and my only pharmacy experience is that I occasionally come here to have my prescriptions filled, but I am a hard worker and a quick learner. I really need this job…like really REALLY need this job, and since you and I kind of go way back I was hoping maybe you could, I don't know, put in a good word for me? I mean, we were lab partners in biology so you know we work well together. Ever since Charlie died and left me the house the bills have been piling up and I know I shouldn't have put off trying to find a job, but it just worked out that way and now here I am practically begging you to hire me…it would just be so great if you could help me out here."

Wow, I thought Edward looked scared of me before. Now you would've thought I just pulled out a machete and told him I was going to cut him into tiny pieces and serve them with some fava beans. I should've grabbed the application back from him and written "crazed psychopath, don't you want me near the drugs?"

The paper was vibrating in his hand. I wondered if he just drank too much caffeine throughout the day to cause so much trembling. No it was probably just me and his aversion to other people.

He opened his mouth a few times, but made no sound. I was the model applicant. I managed to nearly break my back in my potential place of future employment before thoroughly embarrassing my would-be boss, causing him to be somewhat frightened of me, then babbling like a lunatic and begging for him to hire me.

Maybe I could be a career counselor. I'd be the one they'd hire to give lectures on how NOT to perform during a job interview.

"I need to show this to Mr. Denali. Um, there were a few other applicants. I think he's making a decision by the end of the week. I…um…I will see what I can do," he mumbled, looking anywhere but at me.

My eyes lit up. "Really? Oh my God, Edward, thank you so much!" I was so utterly grateful I couldn't contain myself and ended up throwing my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. It took me a moment to realize what I had actually done.

His body was hard and warm against mine. I could hear the crinkle of the paper as I effectively smashed it between us, along with his hands. I was up on my tiptoes, draped around him, and I was completely mortified. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't bring myself to move.

But underlying the mortification was something else, another reason I couldn't move a muscle. He just felt…so damn good against me. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and his breath was coming in hot gusts against my neck. I could feel his arms against my torso shaking. His chin against my cheek began to feel clammy. That strange electricity that I felt when he touched me before was circling through my entire body.

_No no no no no_. My mind was screaming at me. _This is not good! Abort, abort!_

I quickly released my arms from around his neck and took two steps back. I looked at his face in horror. He was paler than usual, and his forehead had broken out into a sweat. He was shaking all over, his fingers tightly grasping my application against his chest.

"Oh, Edward. I'm really sorry. That was so unprofessional of me."

"Um…okay," he said, turning on his heel and speedwalking back through that gray door. I knew he probably wouldn't emerge again until I was gone.

The high I had felt at being wrapped around him quickly dissipated, only to be replaced with resignation. Once again, I had screwed up. He was probably back there right now putting my application through the shredder.

Lowering my head, I decided to get the hell out of Dodge with what little dignity I had left. But as soon as I reached the front of the store, Jessica and Lauren asked me if I was okay, obviously referring to my fall. I waved at them in response and practically ran out of the store.

I pulled into my driveway and shut off the engine, slouching down in my seat. Staring out of the windshield, I looked at my tiny house and winced at the sight of several absent roof shingles and chipping paint along the porch trim.

So many thoughts raced through my head. I thought of Charlie and how disappointed he'd be if he witnessed my stupidity back there. Then I thought about how upset he'd be if I let his house go to shit. He worked so hard to keep our little house in tip top shape, and now it was beginning to fall into disrepair, and I didn't have the money to fix it. Even with Alice as a roommate, I still wouldn't be able to afford the upkeep. I resigned myself to the fact that I would probably have to sell it. Maybe the Brandons would let me crash with them for awhile while I kept trying to find a job. Alice could stay at home or she could surely afford her own place once her salon was up and running.

I thought more about Alice and her budding romance with Jasper. I could still see the blissful glow about her as she talked about all the romantic things he did for her and how perfect his kisses were. While I was happy for her, I couldn't help the jealousy I felt as well. As averse as I was toward members of the opposite sex, I still wanted that for myself. With as awkward as I was, though, there couldn't possibly be someone out there for me…could there be?

And that train of thought led right to Edward Cullen. Seeing him after all these years was quite a surprise, one that seemed to send me reeling. I don't understand why this dorky guy I practically grew up with and paid little attention to had my thoughts and emotions so jumbled. Despite royally screwing up trying to land a much needed job, I couldn't stop recalling how it felt to have my arms around him and being pressed so close to his body. I liked it…a lot.

_Holy crap!_ I had a crush on Edward Cullen.

My cell phone rang shrilly, startling me so much that I actually screamed. Fumbling for the phone, I looked at the caller ID but didn't recognize the number. I answered anyway…even a telemarketer would've been welcomed at that moment, as long as they distracted me from thoughts of Edward Cullen.

"Hello, Bella? This is…uh…this is Edward Cullen from Forks Pharmacy?"

_Shit._

"Hello, Edward," I answered breathlessly. I was actually struggling to breathe. My insides were flip-flopping and my hands were shaking so hard I could hardly keep the phone still at my ear. Was this what a panic attack felt like?

He cleared his throat on the other end.

"I know you just left a little while ago, but I took your application and…"

"You don't have to tell me, Edward, I completely understand. I don't blame you for ripping it up or whatever. After throwing myself at you like that I don't deserve a shot at the job. I was just really grateful at that moment for your help and I guess I overreacted. I'm so sorry."

I don't know why I suddenly felt so sad. I was actually looking forward to working with Edward. And now recent developments had me in even more despair that I wouldn't get to see him every day.

"Um…no…I…" he stuttered. I heard him inhale a deep breath and exhale slowly. "It's okay, really. I was going to say that I took your application to the office and faxed it to Mr. Denali along with a note that I thought you'd be an excellent candidate for the job based on the fact that I knew you from school and knew you had an excellent work ethic."

"Wow, really?" I asked, completely stunned.

"It's true you know," he said quickly, stumbling over his words. "I mean, I meant it when I told him that. You were an excellent student and a hard worker, like you said. I think you would do well here."

I felt myself choking up. "Thanks, Edward," I replied quietly.

"Well he just called me and told me to go ahead and offer you the job."

The phone slid from my hand and fell to the floor of the truck. I hastily fumbled with it and placed it back at my ear. Edward was still talking.

"Sorry, Edward…um, that's great news! I just…can't believe it. He didn't care that I had so little experience?"

"Well, actually you were the only applicant who said you were available to work seven days a week and whatever hours were available."

_Right, no life here._

"Like I said, I need the work," I said as I shrugged my shoulders.

"So you accept the job offer then?" he asked.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Um…no…"

I had to laugh. "Edward, after thoroughly embarrassing the both of us today, you and your boss are still offering me the job and you're asking me if I need to think it over?"

No response.

"Yes, Edward. Yes, I accept. Thank you, seriously. You may have just saved my life."

He cleared his throat again. "When can you…um…when did you want to start?"

I laughed again. "Is tomorrow too soon?"

"No, actually tomorrow would be fine. Mary is here for one more week and she can train you since you'll be taking over for her. It will probably take a week before you'll feel comfortable enough to handle things on your own."

"Okay, tomorrow it is. What are the hours?"

"You'll be working the day shift, which is eight thirty until three o'clock. You get two fifteen minute breaks and a half hour for lunch. You'll have to fill out a W-4 when you come in tomorrow and sign a few other forms."

"Sounds great. So I'll see you at eight thirty tomorrow morning," I replied enthusiastically.

"Bella."

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you are feeling better," he said softly before hanging up.

If I smiled any bigger at that moment I probably would've broken my face. I quickly dialed Alice's number. She answered but before she could speak, I cut her off.

"First, yes I got the job, but it wasn't as simple as that. Second, I need to drink, but not too much because my first day is tomorrow, bright and early."

_My first day with Edward_.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **The only thing I share in common with Stephenie Meyer is that we're both moms of three who love to write…oh and that we both have brown hair. Otherwise, all things Twilight belong to her.

_Okay, I am drawing from personal experience a bit here in that I used to work in a pharmacy once upon a time. But that was 16 years ago and my memory is a bit hazy so I apologize if I am not exactly correct to the minute detail of the goings on behind a pharmacy counter. If there are any pharmacists or pharmacy techs out there reading this, I claim poetic license ;) Remember it's just a story and the pharmacy is merely the setting for our Edward and Bella's budding relationship. _

_And once again thank you so much for reading and the reviews…for this chapter I kind of started typing and could not seem to stop…  
_

**Chapter 4**

Alice and I spent the night on my living room sofa polishing off a bottle of cheap wine as I regaled her with the tale of my day at Forks Pharmacy, at which she laughed her ass off. I heard her mumble something about Edward and I being meant for each other before erupting into another fit of giggles at my expense.

After she received a text from Jasper I moved upstairs to get some much needed sleep, knowing she'd be texting him for at least another hour. She was staying the night so I told her to lock the door before she went to bed.

I lay in my bed and stared up at the ceiling, wishing I could just sleep already. But I was too eager for morning to come. I was way too eager to see Edward…a fact that I still found shocking, confusing and exhilarating all at once.

How would I be able to work alongside him feeling the way I did? I was sure to be extra nervous around him now, which only meant I'd be extra clumsy. I only hoped I didn't end up breaking equipment or messing up people's prescriptions or something due to my inability to remain calm and collected in Edward's presence. With my luck I'd end up filling old man Whitman's arthritis medication with Viagra, although he might actually end up thanking me for that.

And what did I do about these newly discovered feelings? Did I act on them? Should I flirt with Edward? No, I knew that would end badly. I couldn't flirt if my life depended on it. Did I ask him out? No, the guy was supposed to do that. He might think I was some desperate spinster ready to abduct him, tie him to the bed and break his ankles with a sledgehammer to prevent his escape. _I'm your number one fan, Edward_. Yeah…here's your padded cell, Bella. All nice and cozy and ready for you.

I growled and rolled to my side, bunching the pillow up under my head in another failed attempt to get comfortable. Sleep just wouldn't come until my damn brain would shut the hell up.

And then I remembered how Edward had acted during my last two encounters with him; how he had acted around Alice and Mary. What Jessica and Lauren had said about his social inadequacies. He didn't talk to people. He was still skittish around others, just like he had been growing up. I wondered if Edward had any friends. I didn't know how close he and his brother Emmett were, and a vague recollection of something in Emmett's expression upon my mentioning Edward flashed behind my eyes. Like he was sad hearing his brother's name. There was definitely something behind that.

I decided that while I didn't quite understand what I was feeling for Edward, I would definitely try to get him to open up a bit more, to be his friend. To try to understand him a little bit better, because I was betting he didn't have someone like that in his life who could do that for him. I wanted to be that for Edward.

With those profound thoughts came a calm that washed over me and I finally fell asleep.

A few short hours later my alarm was blaring and my eyes flew open. I bounced out of bed and into the shower with exuberance worthy of Alice. We agreed on my outfit for my first day, a pair of black cotton pants and my pale pink sweater (which I loved because it was somewhat tight-fitting and showed off what little curves I actually did possess). I slid on my black ballet flats, deciding on the safer route in footwear should I encounter any more wet floors, and some silver jewelry. I let my hair air dry into curls and slid on my black headband before finishing up with some light eye shadow, blush and lip gloss.

Taking one last glance at myself in my floor length mirror, I couldn't help the grin that was plastered on my face. Not only was I looking forward to seeing Edward, I was excited about actually having a purpose. It may not have been my dream job, or anything grand or luxurious, but it was an honest job that gave me an honest income and allowed me to feel like I was contributing to society. I may have been just a tad pathetic, but this job was something that was mine and I would do it well.

I decided to reign in my excitement as I walked down the stairs, not wanting to risk any injury on my first day.

"Alice?" I called out, having noticed earlier that the guest room upstairs was empty. I was met with silence.

Entering the kitchen, I saw a note on the table in her cutesy girly handwriting.

_Bella –_

_Had to head into work early to meet with Sharon, then having lunch with Jasper. Good luck on your first day! Try not to hurt yourself, or anyone else for that matter. Call me during your break and let me know how it's going. And tell Edward I'll gladly cut his hair for free._

_Love, Al_

_P.S. I don't know why but I feel I should tell you to be careful when handling the pink gooey stuff. _

Oh hell, now she's relaying her psychic messages through scribbled notes on the back of take out menus. And what does that even mean?

I glanced at the clock on the wall. Eight o'clock. I still had a half an hour until my shift started, but I decided it best to get their early for my first day, even though I only had a five minute drive. Grabbing a pop tart out of the cabinet, I threw it in the toaster while I got my coat on and pulled it out as soon as it popped up, tossing it onto a paper towel and carrying it out to my truck with me.

Eight minutes later (I got stuck behind a school bus for one block) I was pulling into the Forks Pharmacy parking lot. Once again it was empty except for the shiny silver Volvo. I wondered if that was Edward's car, which, if it was, meant that he was already here.

I hopped out of my truck and glanced down at myself, brushing away any pop tart crumbs and giving myself a quick glance in my side mirror. Nope, no raspberry jelly smeared across my chin. I'm good.

Eyeing the doors of the pharmacy, I gave myself a quick internal pep talk, straightened my shoulders and walked purposefully towards the automatic doors. Which didn't automatically open. Which I didn't realize because I was still walking rather purposefully, right into the motionless doors.

_Ouch._

My hand flew to my nose and I prayed that it didn't start bleeding. I stared dumbfounded at the door, cursing at it with my mind. Why didn't it open? I stepped back and forward again, wondering if the sensor was off. I then noticed the store hours printed on the door. Open M-Sun 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. The store wasn't even open yet. So why did my shift start at 8:30? And how the hell did I get in?

I glanced around the empty parking lot. Thankfully no one witnessed Hurricane Bella walk into the door. After taking a moment to ensure my nose was not bleeding and only my ego had been bruised, I knocked on the glass pane of the door. I looked around the store and noticed that only a few of the lights were on, mostly back around the pharmacy, but the rest of the store was still in the dark.

I knocked again, louder this time. Hoping someone, specifically Edward, was inside and would let me in.

Finally I spotted the unruly mess of dark hair hesitantly making its way up one of the aisles. He peeked his head around the corner and our eyes met. I smiled sheepishly and waved, motioning for him to open the door.

He looked confused for a moment, quickly glancing down at his watch before approaching the door with a key in his hand. He turned the key in the door and they finally opened.

"Bella?"

_God I loved how he said my name._

I blinked.

Okay, so maybe I was a little nervous. After all I was staring at a man I just recently realized I wanted to climb like a spider monkey and perch myself on his shoulders for an indefinite amount of time. I'd even pick the bugs out of his greasy hair to nibble on if I thought it would turn him on.

"You're early."

I sighed.

"Yes, I guess I thought I'd get here a bit early to get a head start on things, being my first day and all, but I obviously encountered a bit of a problem getting into the store." I laughed and absentmindedly rubbed my sore nose.

"We don't unlock the doors until ten minutes before nine."

"I see, so why do I start at 8:30 and for future reference, how do I get in?"

"Employees come through the back door. Sorry, I forgot to mention that," he said quietly, lowering his eyes and rubbing the back of his neck with his hand nervously.

"Hey," I said softly, reaching out towards him. He froze and looked up at me, almost frightened. "No big deal. Now I know." I shrugged and lowered my hand, stepping around him and into the store.

His eyes remained transfixed on me and I noticed he was trembling again. We needed to get this boy some anti-anxiety meds or something; maybe we could raid the back?

"Edward," I said, startling him. He blinked then turned around to lock the door once more. He pocketed his keys and cleared his throat.

"Um…the day shift starts at 8:30 because we need time to boot up the computers and turn on the equipment before the pharmacy actually opens," he said quietly, beginning to move back down the aisle.

I nodded and glanced around the somewhat darkened store. It was very quiet. And then I realized…there was no one else here. I was alone…with Edward.

Maybe Edward and I could split the meds since I had started trembling almost as much as him.

"Well, I'm here," I said, holding my hands out at my sides.

He nodded and motioned for me to follow him towards the back. He took me down the refrigerator aisle and I slowed my steps on the linoleum, my brain instinctively on alert for any wet floors. Luckily we made it without harm. So far, so good.

I realized he was leading me towards that gray door that he disappeared through yesterday. He pushed it open and stood to the side, allowing me to enter before him.

_What a gentleman. Looks like Jasper's not the only one who can be taught._

The first thing I noticed was a small metal desk against the wall. A few file cabinets stood next to it. There was a copy machine in the corner and a fax machine atop the desk, as well as a telephone. In the other corner sat a very small round table with two chairs. On the opposite wall was another door with the words Employees Only etched on the surface.

"Uh…you'll need to fill out a few forms here," Edward said, moving to the desk and grabbing a group of papers clipped together. He handed them to me, and I noticed the papers shaking in his trembling hand.

I smiled gently at him. He was like a frightened animal, so I decided to approach him as such.

"Thanks," I replied quietly.

Sitting down at the little round table, I took a pen out of my purse and completed the paperwork. I could see Edward staring at me from the corner of my eye, and I tried not to let it affect me. That obviously didn't work because it took me ten minutes to complete the line asking for my first and last name.

It was eerily quiet as I tried to read through the questions I had to answer. I could hear Edward breathing as he stood there by the desk. My heart was beating so fast in my chest I wondered if he could hear it through the silence.

My palms began to sweat. And then something interesting happened.

A sort of…energy or…electric current or something hummed around me. The room was charged with it. I briefly wondered if there was something wrong with the electricity in the store, or if I was sitting next to the circuit breaker box, but I knew that wasn't it. Whatever it was…it was coming from between Edward and I. I had felt it before, yesterday…when I hugged him. And now it was building.

I sucked in a breath and chanced a look at him. As soon as I met his eyes he quickly looked away and ran his fingers through the mop on top of his head.

Miraculously I finished the paperwork, although my left hand had a white-knuckled grip on the edge of the table.

"All finished," I choked out, standing and handing the forms to him. He nodded and took them from me, placing them in a folder on top of the desk.

"You can…um…put your things in here," he said, his voice cracking slightly. He led me through the other door, the one for Employees Only (that was me now, yay!). This room was smaller. A row of lockers lined the left wall and on the other side of the room was another door leading to a small bathroom. Against the far wall was a solid metal door, which I was guessing was the infamous back door through which I should enter every morning. Edward confirmed it.

"Everyone gets their own locker to hang their coat and things in," he explained.

I glanced at the lockers, which looked more like closets since the doors were wood. Only one had a padlock on it.

"Which one is yours?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Uh…that one," he nearly whispered, pointing towards the one with the padlock. "But these two are empty so you can pick one of those."

Conveniently the one next to his was one of the empty ones. The other was on the end. Guess which one I chose.

I hung my coat in the locker next to his and put my purse on the small shelf before closing the door.

"Why is your locker the only one with a lock? What's the matter, you don't trust people?" I asked jokingly.

His emerald eyes burned at me. "No…I don't."

_Right…people issues. Remember Bella? Frightened animal._

"So where do I start?" I asked, quickly changing the subject.

He led me back out into the office where I noticed a strange metal box with a clock on it hanging on the wall next to a metal bin of yellow cards sticking out of dividers.

"You'll need to clock in when you start your shift and clock out before you go, like this," he said, taking my yellow card from its niche and sticking it into the clock machine. It made a loud noise and then Edward pulled the card out showing me the time stamp at the top.

"Groovy," I said, chuckling. "There it is in black and white; Bella Swan was early for her first day of work."

The corners of Edward's mouth turned up a bit as he put my card back in its place.

"Edward Cullen, was that a smile?" I asked in mock horror. "Is it possible?"

His smile widened and he rolled his eyes at me.

I gasped. "It is a smile!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands. _And it's the most beautiful thing I think I've ever seen._

Edward just shook his head and led me out into the store. I followed him up behind the pharmacy counter and my eyes bugged out of my skull for a second.

Wow, there was a lot going on back here.

"Certainly looks a lot more intimidating on this side of the counter than on that side," I said, pointing towards the waiting area.

There were several computers lined up on the counter, and below were shelves filled with various items.

"It's not all that bad…once you learn the job you'll feel very comfortable back here," he said in his quiet way. I looked up at him, wondering if there was a double meaning in his words. From what I read in his eyes behind his glasses…I wondered correctly.

"When Mary comes in she'll get you started by showing you the computer system and how we take orders and print the labels."

"All right," I said. I had to admit I felt a little sad knowing that in just a few minutes my alone time with Edward would be infiltrated by the rest of the staff.

"And she'll help you with dealing with the customers."

Something told me that dealing with the customers would be a big part of my job, since Edward probably had as little confrontation was the customers as possible.

"I look forward to helping you out, Edward," I said, placing my hand on his forearm.

That electric hum I'd been feeling shot straight up my arm from where our skin touched, and we both gasped. I looked into his eyes and knew then that he felt it, too. He stared at me wide-eyed and I felt my mouth go dry. My entire body was energized by it, and it took all my will power to keep my feet planted on the floor instead of leaping at him and wrapping my arms and legs around his body.

Just then the sound of a door opening and closing from the back startled us, and we jumped away from each other like we'd been doing something a bit more risqué. The sound of voices floating out from the backroom set Edward in motion, and he hopped up on the step behind us to the back of the pharmacy counter where the medications were shelved. He essentially ran and hid.

Mary stepped through the gray door and up behind the pharmacy counter, smiling at me.

"Hello again, Bella," she said. "I'm Mary."

"Hi Mary," I said, shaking her hand.

Jessica and Lauren trudged out of the backroom next, fatigue and boredom written plainly across their faces. As soon as they spotted me, though, they smirked.

_That's right, bitches. Pathetic Bella is now a Forks Pharmacy employee. At least I'm assisting sick people with their medications that make them feel better. That's right, I'm back here saving lives while you're up there ringing up bubble gum and condoms and carding teenagers who are trying to buy cigarettes. _

"Have a good first day, Bella," Lauren said sweetly, her smile as fake as her french-tipped nails.

"Thanks," I replied equally as saccharine sweet, bearing my pearly whites. They weren't even halfway up the baby food aisle before I heard them snickering to each other.

Mary booted up the computers, showing me the process, before giving me a crash course in the program used to pull up patient information. An hour and a half later I had shadowed Mary as she assisted a handful of customers and took four orders over the phone. During this time I noticed Edward said only two words to her. It didn't seem to bother her though; they worked side by side like a well oiled machine. I realized Edward relied on Mary knowing her stuff so that he could just do his work and not be bothered. I hoped I could be that for him as well.

Edward stepped into the backroom for a moment, and I took the opportunity to drill Mary for some info.

"So, Mary, is Edward always this quiet?" I asked, straightening the boxes of brown prescription bottles on the shelves next to her.

"Yes. I think on his best days I get maybe ten words out of him but most days it's just 'hello' and 'thanks, Mary'," she replied, shaking her head.

"And that's never a problem?"

"I've been working here for six years, and when he came on board three months ago I more or less did the talking, showing him how we worked things here. He just listened very intently, nodding as we went. He'd ask questions when he had to, but he digested everything in his way and went right to work. He's very good at his job; we've never had any problems. That boy checks and rechecks his pill counting to ensure perfection. Mr. Denali never says anything, but I know the Denalis and Edward's family are close friends.

"Just understand, Bella, Edward is not very comfortable dealing directly with the customers, even though it's part of his job. He has to answer questions about the medications and drug interactions, which he does, but with little finesse, if you know what I mean. I can read it in the customer's face...they wonder if there's something wrong with him. I try to handle as much of the customer interactions as possible. If I'm really stumped I come back and ask Edward and relay his response to the customer for him. I'm only telling you this because you'll have to do the same."

I nodded. "I understand. I guess you don't know that Edward and I kind of grew up together. I've known him since the first grade. He was always like that, kind of geeky and anti-social. Of course, the fact that he was bullied a lot growing up probably had some kind of influence on how he interacts with people now."

Ding…another lightbulb. This time the realization hit me _after_ speaking it out loud. Of course Edward had non-existent social skills. When you were used to being tripped, pushed, shoved into lockers, ridiculed, harassed, name-called, and joked about by the majority of people you saw on a daily basis, you were bound to hate interacting with people at all.

My heart broke for him.

As if on cue Edward stepped back behind the pharmacy counter and looked at me. I don't know what my face was showing at that moment, but it must have been bad because his brow furrowed and his head tilted to the side a little before his lips pressed into a thin line and his hand went for the hair. He slid back up to the shelves, or his hiding spot as I now liked to think of it. His little refuge amongst the bottles and boxes, away from anyone else's view.

The day went on and I seemed to be picking things up easily. I even took a few prescription refills myself with Mary supervising of course. It was sort of comical; I knew most of the customers who came into the store. One of the joys of small town life. I could link just about every one of them to some small moment in my life, whether it was Mr. Tonkin, the mailman who cheerfully accepted my letters to Santa every Christmas after I made him promise to deliver them personally to the North Pole, or Trudy Miller who worked at the diner where Charlie and I had many a meal.

Each of them expressed their happiness at seeing me working behind the pharmacy counter; and each of them offered their condolences on the loss of Charlie. It was painful hearing one "I'm sorry" after the other, but it was touching knowing how much Charlie was loved and respected in our little town.

"He was a good man, Bella. We miss Charlie a great deal," Tom Adams said as I handed him his bag.

"Thanks, Mr. Adams," I replied, smiling politely. He nodded and walked away, and I felt my shoulders slump just a bit. My heart hurt.

Mary was talking on the phone to a doctor's office when I felt the energy surge and that undeniable pull grow tighter. I knew he was standing right behind me without even turning around.

"Are you all right?" he whispered to me.

His breath was warm on my neck, and I couldn't hold back the shiver. I took a side glance towards Mary. She was typing away on the computer.

"I will be; it's just hard having to be reminded of Charlie from just about everyone who comes in here. I mean, I don't want to sound selfish; Charlie had a lot of friends, some who were like family to us. I know the entire town mourned his passing." I sighed heavily. "I just miss him."

I felt the brush of fingertips against my wrist before they trailed down the back of my hand. My entire body responded to that one small, innocent touch.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again before stepping away. I immediately wanted him to come back, to hold my hand tighter or to let me bury my face into his chest.

I didn't know what the hell was happening to me as far as Edward was concerned. It was all so surreal, feeling so strongly about a guy I can only refer to as being the biggest nerd in our class who got the shit beat out of him constantly. It was like my eyes were opening for the very first time to find a world I never knew existed, orbiting around one shining sun…_Edward_. And I was being sucked in by his gravitational pull without a chance in hell of breaking free. I never wanted it to stop.

"Bella you should take your lunch break now," Mary said after hanging up the phone. "I'll go when you come back."

"Okay," I said, shrugging. As I headed towards the gray door, I noticed the top of Edward's head above the back counter, his glasses sliding down his nose.

"Did you take your lunch break yet, Edward?" I asked him. His eyes shot up, his long fingers quickly pushing his glasses back up his nose.

He shook his head.

"Do you maybe want to grab a quick bite with me?" I asked. I heard something drop and scatter as he stood frozen in place staring at me like I had just asked to be the mother of his children. _Oh yeah, could we do that too?_

"Edward?" I asked, breaking him out of his trance.

"Uh…"

"You gotta eat, right?"

"Go on, Edward," Mary said. "I've got things covered here."

_Bless you, Mary._

"Uh…okay," he answered meekly. A thrill shot through me as he stepped out of his hiding spot, kicking something out of the way, probably whatever he had dropped back there. He approached me shyly and I smiled at him.

After Edward removed his white lab coat and hung it in his locker, we exited out the back door and into the parking lot. I suggested we just run across the street to McDonald's since we only had a half an hour, and he silently agreed.

I was more than a bit shocked when he ordered a chicken sandwich and a bottled water while I got my usual Big Mac with cheese value meal. We sat down at one of the tables inside the restaurant, which was growing busier by the minute with the usual lunch crowd. Edward glanced around nervously at the people milling about, so I decided to try and make conversation to divert his attention.

"So what happened to the great Edward Cullen after high school?" I asked, biting into my sandwich. "I always thought you'd end up at MIT or something."

He looked at me then down at his chicken sandwich, picking at the bun. "I went to Dartmouth."

I could barely hear him so I leaned in closer. "Dartmouth? Okay, so I wasn't too far off. What did you major in?"

"Chemistry."

I nodded as I chewed my Big Mac, trying to be dainty about it.

"What made you want to be a pharmacist?" I asked after swallowing and taking a sip of my soda.

He shrugged his shoulders, still picking at his sandwich. "I really wanted to follow in my dad's footsteps and become a doctor, but…" He bit his bottom lip and his eyes darted around the table top. I tried to figure out his reluctance to continue when it hit me. Doctor. Blood and guts. Biology lab?

"I get it," I said gently, nudging his knee with my own. He looked up at me wide-eyed again, I'm guessing at the playful nudge I had just given him.

"What?"

"You forget, Edward, we were biology lab partners. You didn't handle the…messier labs very well. I can see how being a doctor might be hard for you."

He blushed and dropped his gaze.

"Hey," I continued, placing my hand on top of his. "It's nothing to be ashamed about. We can't all be perfect. You were always brilliant and you still are, and the career you've chosen is an admirable one. You're still helping people."

Edward smiled as he eyed my hand on his own. I was starting to get used to that energy that passed between us whenever we touched.

"I really liked science despite my…inadequacies in biology. And I wanted to stay close to the medical field. I thought about going into research. But Mr. Denali and my father have been friends for years, and he spoke with me about pharmacology and I found myself growing more interested the more I learned. So I got my bachelor's degree in chemistry and my master's in pharmacology."

I blinked.

"But, we've only been out of high school for four years. How did you…?"

He smiled again, a twinkle glinting in his eye. "I fast-tracked through my undergrad program and finished in two years."

My jaw fell before I snapped it shut. I couldn't help but smile at that little twinkle of pride in his eye. "See? Brilliant as always."

Edward blushed again and took a bite out of his chicken sandwich.

I chuckled and he eyed me curiously.

"Since when did you eat chicken sandwiches and drink bottled water? I always remember you eating cheeseburgers and slurping down Pepsis at lunch."

He stopped chewing and stared at me again, a crease forming between his bushy eyebrows.

"How would you know?" he asked, almost accusingly. It startled me.

"I…I just…"

He dropped his sandwich and began to wrap it up. "I'm not the same person I was in high school, Bella," he spat, rising from his seat. He pushed his food into the trash can and hastily made his exit.

It took me a while to gather my senses after sitting stunned for a moment. Had I just insulted him by telling him he used to eat cheeseburgers every day for lunch back then? Then I thought he probably hated being associated with any memory regarding high school, and I just brought it up like it was the good 'ole times.

_Nice one, Bella._

When I got back to work Edward was tucked back in his hiding spot. Mary eyed me warily before leaving for her lunch break. I sighed and made my way back behind the counter to wear Edward was seated on a stool counting out little white tablets and dumping them into a brown prescription bottle.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…upset you," I said.

His hands began to tremble so much the pills in the bottle shook with his movement. I reached out and placed my hand on his, and he immediately stilled. He turned in his stool and looked up at me.

"It's okay…I'm sorry I kind of…got angry. It's just that…" He bore a pained expression before turning away from me.

"You don't like to be reminded of those years," I whispered, completing his thought.

He sighed again and shook his head ever so slightly.

"Understood," I said, laying my hand on his shoulder. "Edward…I really…I'd really like to be your friend, if that's all right with you."

"Why?" he simply asked without looking at me.

_Because I'm finding myself falling for you and I can't explain why or figure out how to stop it, not that I want to._

"Because everyone deserves to have friends. I know we weren't exactly…close in high school, and I'm regretting that because I like you, Edward. You're smart and sweet and kind and I'd like to have you as a friend. I mean, we are co-workers now so why can't we be friends, too?"

He was silent for a moment before taking a deep breath. "I like you, too."

It was very quiet but I had been listening so intently for his response that I picked it up immediately. My heart damn near exploded in my chest.

"Good," I said cheerfully, attempting to hide my innate girly need to squee and dance.

"So, Edward, is there anything I can help you with back here since it's kind of slow at the moment?" I asked, trying to steer this angsty conversation down a more lighthearted avenue.

He seemed to take the hint as he stood and smiled at me. He labeled the prescription bottle he had been filling and had me bag it up and drop it in the correct alphabetical bin per the patient's last name.

"Do you want to help me fill a prescription?" he asked, pulling a scrip from the top of the pile.

"Do I ever!" I exclaimed in mock jubilation, and he snickered at me. I then vowed to make it my life's mission to get Edward Cullen to laugh because something told me it was a beautiful sound that should not go unheard.

The prescription was for amoxicillin, which he dispensed into a bottle from some contraption on the wall. He then poured something else into the bottle that made it turn pink.

"Here, just cap it and shake it up really well," he said, handing me the bottle before typing on the computer and running off the label.

I chuckled. "This is the stuff that smells like cherries but tastes like chalk, right?"

He smiled and nodded.

I placed the cap on the bottle and held it down with my thumb before lifting my arm to shake it. For some reason I thought Edward meant to shake it with all the strength I had in my feeble arms because when I shook the bottle, my entire body shook with it. My elbow bumped into Edward causing my thumb to fly off the bottle cap, and the bottle cap to fly off the bottle.

A stream of pink goop sprang from the bottle and landed all over Edward. I mean ALL over. His white lab coat caught the brunt of the damage, but his shirt underneath that was covered, as was the entire right frame of his glasses, his hair, his forehead…the precious penny loafers. Only a minimal trace got on his pants.

I stood there stunned holding a now empty prescription bottle in my hand as Edward stood motionless before me dripping in pink, chalky goo. He couldn't even look at me. And not just because his glasses were mostly covered. He just stepped around me and hastily made his way to the backroom.

I tried to backtrack to figure out what the hell just happened. Hurricane Bella strikes again. Thank God there were no customers at that moment to witness this latest debacle in the Bella and Edward chronicles. First pen ink and now pink goop.

Said pink goop was also dripping from the computer monitor and I mentally slapped myself back into motion. I grabbed as many paper towels as I could from the roll behind the counter and cleaned up the mess that managed to miss the Edward target.

For some reason my mind flashed back to earlier that morning and a certain note from Alice forewarning me about handling the gooey pink stuff.

I would no longer be teasing the psychic.

Edward still had not emerged from the back and I felt more guilty with each passing second. He was probably mortified, although I don't know how he could be any more embarrassed than I was at that moment.

Finally I decided to go back and apologize profusely, yet again, for upsetting him.

_Boy, this is turning out to be a stellar first day._

I took a quick peek up towards the front to see Jessica and Lauren hunched over a magazine and twirling their hair. They didn't seem to know what had just transpired. There's one thing that I lucked out on.

I pushed open the gray door and found the office empty. Edward was probably in the bathroom washing the pink goo out of his hair or something. I should probably just go back out and wait for him. I turned to go when I heard the bathroom door opening from the other side of the Employees Only door.

Gnawing on my lower lip, I just decided to go back and apologize now in case I didn't have a chance to later since Mary would be back soon and customers could always come in.

I quickly walked towards the Employees Only door and pushed it open, my apology already on my lips when the door met some resistance and I heard a resounding smack then what sounded like a sack of potatoes dropping to the floor.

_Oh no…no no no…God why do you hate me?_

"Edward?" I called out. No answer.

I peeked my head around the door and was met with a sight I would never forget for the rest of my existence.

Edward Cullen laying on his back on the floor, groaning and rubbing his forehead, his glasses on the floor by his hand. Oh, and did I mention he was completely shirtless?

I had seen Edward shirtless once before. It was freshman year of high school. Some douchebag pulled Edward's shirt over his head, trapping his arms so that his bare chest was visible to the entire cafeteria. The term bird-chested was an understatement. His ribs stuck out, his stomach was a bit concave, and there was an obvious lack of muscle definition, if he had any muscle at all.

What my eyes were now gazing upon at this very moment was a completely different story. I was first drawn to the six-pack abs clenching and releasing as he moaned and groaned in pain. I was mesmerized by his tight pectoral muscles and the way his large biceps looked so solid as his arms were bent to hold his forehead. The man was all muscle…ripped, tight, toned muscle. And the cherry on top was the defined "V" at his hips that dipped down below the waistline of his khaki pants, where I also caught a hint of copper colored hair directly below his navel.

Edward had been right…he was not the same boy he was in high school.

The sound of his moaning brought me out of my lust-induced stupor, and I literally had to raise my hand to my mouth to wipe away a bit of drool that had escaped my lips. It was then that I realized I had hit Edward in the head with the door.

"Oh, shit! Edward?" I cried, rushing to his side. My eyes swept over him and I couldn't stop the ache that was now throbbing between my legs at the sight of his muscled-yumminess so close…close enough to run my fingers across those abs and lick my way down that "V" to…

_He's lying here injured, Bella…don't violate the injured man._

"Are you all right? I'm so sorry," I said, completely flustered. It was useless trying to hide it. I was so hot and bothered at that moment, not to mention thoroughly embarrassed for reeking havoc upon Edward yet again. What had it been, only ten minutes since the pink goop incident?

"I'm sorry, what can I do? Can you hear me? Can you speak?" I asked, my hands fluttering about him trying not to touch him…but oh so wanting to touch him.

Edward's eyes seemed to focus as he lowered his hands and I cringed at the red welt growing on his forehead by his hairline.

"Edward?" He still hadn't said anything.

Placing my hands on either side of his face, I turned his head toward me and tried to make him focus on my eyes.

"Are you okay?" I asked again. "Say something."

He blinked up at me a few times and it dawned on me that he was currently not wearing his glasses. And that he was beautiful. But honestly, even with his glasses on, I was finding this man to be more beautiful by the minute.

Suddenly his lips curled up into a smile and his body started to shake. I realized then that he was laughing. His mouth opened and the laughter bubbled out, a full on, from the gut, belly laugh. His green eyes lit up in mirth and I frowned at him before the panic set in.

Oh no. Hurricane Bella made the brilliant, brilliant pharmacist stupid. Oh no!

Edward stopped laughing but kept grinning up at me.

"I guess we're even now, Bella," he said, the merriment evident in his tone. "I seem to remember us in similar positions, although in reverse." It took me a moment but then I smiled, too, remembering the library door accident when Edward had given me my own head wound in just about the same spot his was now.

As we remained there laughing at each other, Edward still on his back, me kneeling by his side with my hands on his face, I couldn't help but feel a shift between Edward and I. What had started as an awkward, tenuous, strained reunion had morphed into a comfortable, relaxed, familiar friendship that I knew would only continue to grow and thrive as we acquainted ourselves with one another. I couldn't believe that I had spent my entire life around this man and never allowed myself the chance to really know him. I had cheated myself out of something wonderful, but no more. I couldn't imagine a life without Edward in it now, in whatever capacity that might be.

I also couldn't deny the fact that I had been right…the sound of Edward's laughter was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

_Sorry for the wait, but between Little League games, gymnastics, swim classes, the show I'm choreographing, a teething 7-month-old, and oh yeah, my full-time job, it was kind of difficult finding a second to open my laptop and write. But my brain was constantly plotting this story so I'm hell bent on making the time to write because I want to get this story out of my head and delivered to you!_

_Thanks for all the reviews – I treasure each and every one._

_And a very special, bright and sparkly thank you to __**jennde**__ for her amazing beta skills, and for her support, advice and encouragement. I can't even begin to describe how unbelievably awesome she is._

**Chapter 5**

I wish we had remained on that floor laughing comfortably with each other for hours. I wish Edward had wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I wish I could have confessed my feelings to him right then and there, and say that we lived happily ever after.

But instead of a happily ever after, I got my frightened animal back.

It took only a moment for the fog to clear from Edward's brain after I introduced the door to his forehead; only a moment for him to realize that he was laying there on the floor of the employee's lounge completely bare from the waist up, and that I was kneeling so close beside him that all I had to do was lift my right leg and I'd be straddling his waist.

His green eyes widened and he jumped away from me like I was made of fire. His left hand reached for his glasses and he frantically returned them to his face. My hands were frozen in mid-air around the space where his beautiful face had just been. Apparently it took my brain a moment to catch up with the present.

Edward pushed up to his feet and ran over to his locker, grabbing a white t-shirt and hastily pulling it over his head. I stood and shamefully watched the muscles in his back bunch and stretch with his movements before turning my back to him.

"I'm really sorry, Edward…about the door," I said, attempting to alleviate his mini freak-out.

"It's okay," he replied in his usual soft tone.

"And I'm sorry about the pink goo – I mean, the amoxicillin. And your clothes…" Suddenly an idea popped into my head. "You know, I really do feel terrible about ruining your clothes. Perhaps…maybe you'd let me buy you a new shirt to replace the one I ruined? And new shoes?"

I chanced turning around, convinced he'd be dressed by now. He was wearing the same green shirt from yesterday over his white t-shirt, although it was all wrinkled. His back was still to me, and he was holding his pink stained shirt and lab coat in his hand. I glanced down at his penny loafers and noticed a crusty pink residue on each shoe.

"That's not necessary," he said, balling up his soiled clothes and throwing them in his locker. He closed the door and ran his hands through his hair before turning to face me. I winced at the red welt that was now pretty noticeable on his forehead.

_Way to go, Bella._

I also noticed that the hair around said welt was damp. I guess he managed to wash out the medicine in the bathroom sink while he washed off his face and glasses.

"Please, it's the least I can do. I know I'm a major klutz and a walking disaster, and I'd like to fix it."

Edward shook his head and stared at his crusty shoes.

"Oh, come on," I continued, adding a little pout for emphasis. "You could even come with me to pick them out. We could…we could go to the mall in Port Angeles maybe…maybe this Saturday after work?"

Edward's eyes shot up in surprise like I had just told him I liked to don leather corsets and wield large swords while whooping a battle cry worthy of _Xena: Warrior Princess_ as my weekend leisure activity of choice.

"You mean…together?" he asked so quietly that had I not been staring right at him and watching his lips move I may not have heard him.

"Yeah," I replied nonchalantly while shrugging my shoulders. I could see him tensing up and trembling again, and I wanted to show him that this wasn't a big deal. "Relax, Edward, I'm not asking you out on a date or anything."

His face fell as he looked back down at his shoes.

_One of these days I'm just going to sew my lips closed to contain the verbal diarrhea._

He lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug and shook his head again.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. You are not obligated to replace my clothes. Accidents happen."

Sighing in frustration, I decided to forge ahead. Closing the distance between us, I placed my hand upon his shoulder and ducked my head so that I could look him in the eye. He gasped at my sudden closeness but didn't pull away this time.

"You and me, a little shopping excursion, this Saturday after work. Come on, Edward. It'll be fun. Maybe we can grab a bite to eat afterward?"

He eyed me warily.

"Look," I said, sighing. "I don't have many friends, any really, except for Alice, and I like talking to you so…I don't know…" I shrugged again. I took my hand from his shoulder and began to fidget. Why was I suddenly feeling so nervous, like I was afraid of Edward rejecting me?

"Well…I have an ongoing engagement right after work on Saturday," he said.

My heart sank and I began to gnaw on my lower lip.

"But…"

My eyes flew to his and I held my breath.

"I could meet you there after I'm finished, say around five o'clock?" he asked, raising his bushy eyebrows.

Complete elation washed over me. And here I was the one trying to convince him this wasn't a date. Aw, hell, it totally was! I had a date with Edward Cullen. And that just may have been the strangest thing anyone had ever realized in the history of the world.

I kept my face a mask of complete nonchalance as to not scare my trembling animal away.

"Sounds good. We can iron out the details on Saturday before we leave."

We stood there staring at each other, and I was completely unsure of what to do next. The tension returned in force. That weird energy I always felt around him began to hum around us, my body thrumming with it. Edward stared intently at me, those green eyes glittering like emeralds behind his glasses as if they were lit from within. I felt my chest begin to rise and fall rapidly as my breathing increased, and before I could stop myself, I leaned my body in closer to him. A lock of damp hair had fallen over his glasses and I instinctively reached a hand up to push the hair out of his face. His eyelids fluttered closed at the contact and I felt the breath whoosh out from his lips, bathing me in his scent, and my knees nearly buckled.

_What's happening?_

I didn't know. I couldn't explain it. I couldn't think. All I could do was feel. All I wanted to do was feel his lips mold against mine, to run my hands through his unkempt hair and wrap my legs around his slender waist.

We were so close to each other now, our rapid breaths comingling between us. My hand remained on top of his head, and I let my fingers curl and burrow into his hair. I lifted up on my toes as our eyes locked, our noses just barely touching.

This was stupid. This was illogical. But it was like some other force took over and neither one of us had control over the situation any longer.

"Bella," he whispered, and it was then that I noticed his body had stopped trembling. For the first time since laying eyes upon Edward Cullen last week, he looked completely and utterly calm and assured.

In the blink of an eye, the back door opened behind us, delivering Mary from her break, while the Employees Only door opened on the other side of us, producing an inquisitive Jessica.

Edward and I jumped away from each other quicker than I thought humanly possible. I ended up backing into the lockers while Edward made a beeline for the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him.

"What's going on here?" Mary asked, furrowing her brows in confusion as she looked at the door Edward had just closed.

"Um…" I blinked and cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the lump of fear that had lodged itself in there. "I accidentally spilled amoxicillin on Edward and then I hit him in the head with the door when I came to apologize and I was just…just checking his forehead to make sure he was okay," I blurted out.

Jessica snickered behind me.

"Well, would you like to come out and explain that to the line of customers that is currently waiting at the pharmacy counter wondering where the hell everyone is?" Jessica said, and I couldn't help but note the condescending tone in her voice.

Once a bitch, always a bitch.

And then her words sunk in.

"You left the counter unattended?" Mary asked, rushing to put her coat in her locker.

"Aw, crap," I muttered, running out the door. Sure enough, there were a handful of people milling around the pharmacy counter, and they all looked pissed.

I rushed behind the counter and began apologizing profusely.

"I'm so sorry, everyone," I said. "There was…um…an incident and…just…sorry." I decided to just stop my rambling and get to work. They didn't need excuses.

Luckily, yet again, I knew every single one of them and their ire turned right into pity. For once I milked it for what it was worth.

Half an hour later, the store was empty again except for a woman in the hair care aisle reading the back of a box of hair coloring. I only had half an hour left until my shift was over. My mind was still reeling from what had almost transpired between me and Edward, and my body was still tingling from his closeness. Edward had eventually come out of the bathroom, obviously, and returned to his hidey hole behind me. He never looked at me, though, and I took that as a sign to just let the whole 'almost-kiss' go. If he wasn't going to bring it up, neither was I. No reason to create any more embarrassment or awkwardness between the two of us than there already was.

I was feeling a little bit hungry, so I decided to risk going up to the front of the store to grab a candy bar or something.

"Mary, I'm going to grab a snack, do you want anything?"

"No, thank you, dear," she replied, wiping a disinfecting cloth along the counter's surface.

I turned to ask Edward the same question, but decided against it after I saw him shrink further behind the divider in an obvious attempt to avoid me.

_Heard you loud and clear, Edward_.

I left my frightened animal to cower in his comfy place and reluctantly moved down the aisle toward the front counter…where Jess and Lauren reigned supreme.

I perused the various snack items by the front counter, not meeting either girls' eyes. Hopefully I'd get through this without having to speak to them.

"So, Bella, how's your first day going?" Lauren asked, looking and sounding completely bored.

_Damn._ _So much for hoping._

I shrugged my shoulders and urged myself to just pick something. But my stomach was overruling my brain, having a difficult time choosing between a Three Musketeers bar and a Snickers.

"Pretty well," I replied.

Jessica laughed and Lauren joined her. I quickly grabbed the Snickers, wanting to just get back to the pharmacy and away from these two airheads. Dropping my fifty cents on the counter in front of Jess, I gave them a tight smile before turning.

"Yeah, Jess told me about your little incident with Geekward back there," Lauren said, still laughing. "I see some things never change." That last statement was made under her breath, probably meant for only Jessica's ears as I was walking away, but I still heard it. And an interesting thing happened.

I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned.

"What did you just say?" A thousand emotions were simmering within me: resentment, fear, nervousness, anxiety, anger, hatred, sadness, possession…There was a fleeting moment where I contemplated that particular emotion, surprised to find how possessive of Edward I felt and the overwhelming need to defend him to these heartless, stuck up twats.

"What? When?" Lauren asked, her eyes wide as she regarded me warily, like I was a bomb about to explode.

But I was nothing but calm, the fury boiling just beneath the surface.

"What did you call him?"

Jessica held her breath and looked between me and Lauren.

"What, Geekward?" Jess said.

As my ears took in the sound of that horrible nickname once more, I felt my hands curl into fists, the Snickers bar now crushed between my fingers. I'd heard the expression 'seeing red' before, but I never actually believed one saw red when angry. I presently discovered that saying had some merit, for all I could see in my vision of Lauren and Jessica before me was a pulsating veil of red.

I wanted to scream at them, to lash out and call them every name in the book. No one talked about _my_ Edward that way.

My muscles shook as I struggled to contain my anger. I opened my mouth, prepared to start bitching these two out, but a sudden vibration from my pocket startled me. All that left my mouth was a small high-pitched squeak. Jess and Lauren cocked their heads, regarding me curiously.

Digging my hand into my pocket, I retrieved my cell phone and noticed a text from Alice.

_Haven't heard from you. Day going ok? Hope you didn't down the Benadryl and fall asleep in the back of Edward Cullen's car. Get my note about the pink goo? Call me when you're done. Have big news._

My mind automatically traveled back to an image of Edward doused in chalky pink sludge and I felt a strange pull from behind me. I turned my head and looked over my shoulder to find Edward looking right at me. He was wringing his hands in front of him. Could he tell what was going on?

Deciding not to cause a scene for Edward's benefit, I turned my attention back to the bimbo twins and sneered.

"Grow up," I growled, my lip curling up into a snarl. They simultaneously raised their eyebrows as their mouths dropped open, but I spun on my heel, praying to any god that would listen to keep me upright, and marched back to the pharmacy.

Stepping up behind the counter, I sadly chucked the pulverized remnants of the caramel, peanut and chocolatey goodness into the trash and grabbed a paper towel to wipe off my hand. Edward stepped aside to let me pass.

"Some idiots never change," I muttered, glaring at the front of the store. Lauren and Jessica were whispering to each other with their backs turned. The woman studying the hair dye finally made her way to the front counter and placed a box in front of Lauren, who stepped away from Jess to ring her up.

"You can't let them bother you," Edward whispered from beside me. All the anger I had been feeling in that moment seemed to melt away at the sound of his gentle voice. I turned to face him. "Just ignore them."

I wanted to tell him that I couldn't, not when they were intentionally hurting someone I cared about, even if it was only a stupid, childish nickname. One that I now painfully recall hearing frequently throughout the halls of Forks High School.

Before I could speak, however, a loud, deep voice resonated through the store, distracting me.

"Hey, hey…it's sexy Jessie and lovely Lauren." The male voice was kind of scratchy, like he had been gargling with nails.

Edward's eyes grew wide and he quickly rushed back to his spot. Mary approached me and smiled, although there was something strange about it.

"James is here," she said. "And Tanya will be here shortly as well to take over. You can go now Bella; I'll wait here for Tanya."

"Oh…um…okay," I stuttered.

Just then a short man with cropped blonde hair stepped out from one of the aisles. I saw him reach for a box of condoms at the end of the aisle, read over the front of the box for one moment, then shove them in the pocket of his black leather jacket. He was wearing a gray button down shirt, blue jeans with a small silver chain hanging from the pocket, and big black boots.

This was James? This guy was a pharmacist? Was his Harley parked out front?

When he turned toward us, his eyes met mine and I immediately felt a cold chill shoot up my spine. Something told me I wasn't going to like this guy much.

"Well, well, who do we have here? Fresh meat?" he asked, leering at me. I heard something snap behind me from Edward's general direction, like a pencil.

"James, behave yourself," Mary said, chastising him. "This is Bella, my replacement."

"Aw, Miss Mary, you are irreplaceable." Oh, man, this guy loved to turn on the charm…at least that's what he thinks it is. I'd say it's just all around creepiness.

Mary rolled her eyes as she stepped past him and into the store. "Excuse me for a moment, I promised my daughter I'd pick up some diapers for her before I left."

James stepped up behind the counter and stalked towards me. I felt the need to take a few steps back. Actually, I wanted to turn and run to Edward's hiding spot and bury myself beneath the prescription labels. Or burrow my head in Edward's shirt. Yes, that was the better option.

But I had to be professional about this. After all, he was one of the managers, and I was a new employee. So I sucked in a deep breath and bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from grimacing or cringing as I shoved my hand out to shake his.

"Hello, I'm Bella Swan. It's nice to meet you, James."

Dude had the audacity to take my hand and kiss the back of my knuckles before leaning his head down and inhaling deeply.

_Did he just smell my hand?_

"Mmm, Bella…beautiful Bella. You do smell…delectable," he said, winking at me.

I was absolutely, positively stunned. Instinctively I pulled my hand away and grasped my other one behind my back.

"Welcome to our little store," he continued, stretching his arms out and smiling at his surroundings. "It's not much but we call it home."

"Uh…thanks…" I stuttered. "I'm happy to be working here."

His thin lips turned up into a creepy grin as he stared at me, his eyes the color of gun metal.

Mary returned with a pack of Pampers under her arm. I heard the phone ring behind me as I stared back cautiously at James, every muscle in my body tense and ready to spring should he make one more move toward me. He blinked a few times as Mary answered the phone before relaxing his stance.

"Well, time to get to work," he said, winking and walking backwards towards the employee door. "You have yourself a fabulous afternoon, Bella. I look forward to working with you."

I didn't miss the little journey his eyes took down my body before he turned and went through the gray door. I released a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Edward standing and staring at me from behind the partition. He pushed his glasses up his nose a few times before clearing his throat and sitting back down.

Mary hung up the phone and sighed.

"That was Tanya. She's running a bit late," she said.

"Oh, would you like me to stay until she gets here?" I asked, trying to shake of the overall uneasy feeling that had taken over me in James' presence.

Mary smiled and shook her head. "No, dear, you go on ahead. She said she'll be here in about fifteen minutes and honestly, I don't mind staying. You've done really well for your first day, Bella. I think you'll be just fine on your own come Sunday."

I smiled at her…until her words registered in my brain.

"Wait…Sunday? I thought you were here until the end of next week," I said, attempting to mask the panic in my voice. I'd be doing this alone in only two more days? Hell.

Mary frowned. "Honestly, Bella, I was going to make the decision based on how you did today. I told Mr. Denali I'd stay and train my replacement and take my leave as soon as I deemed you ready to do it on your own. And after your first day I don't see you needing me for another whole week. Two more days should be ample time. I mean, after just a few hours this morning you were practically doing everything by yourself as it was."

She had me there. I did seem to pick it all up quickly and there were only one or two times where I needed her to help me once I got going.

"Thanks, Mary. You're a good teacher," I told her, winking.

She smiled brightly and patted my shoulder. "So you get going then, and I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Okay," I said, nodding.

She busied herself behind the counter as I snuck a glance at Edward, who was still hidden from view. I stepped behind the partition to say goodbye to him. He stood from his stool and faced me.

"Are you…leaving too?" I asked, suddenly feeling nervous again.

He nodded.

We stared at each other for a moment before I turned and he followed me toward the employee lounge. At the same time, James emerged, his black leather jacket replaced by the familiar white lab coat with his nametag. I suppressed a chuckle at the sight of him. The pharmacist's uniform just looked so...wrong on him.

I tried to picture this guy sitting in a chemistry class mixing compounds and studying thick texts filled with molecular analyses and scientific notation. I just couldn't imagine it. In my mind James had comic books nestled within the pages of his textbooks, or worse…porn.

James looked at me with his gray eyes, winking once and saluting Edward before disappearing behind the pharmacy counter and saying something loudly to Mary, although I was already through the door before I could hear whatever he said.

Edward and I silently approached our lockers, the memory not escaping me of what happened in this very spot only an hour before. I shrugged on my coat slowly as I peeked at Edward through the corner of my eye.

I found him staring right at me again…trembling. I turned to face him and winced at the red welt on his forehead.

"I'm still really sorry about that," I said, motioning to his head. "You should put some ice on it or something."

Edward nodded, blinking once at me. Apparently, he was back in silent mode.

"Well, it's been an interesting first day," I muttered, shaking my head and laughing humorlessly to myself. I heard a strange noise and raised my eyes to find Edward chuckling.

Narrowing my eyes, I feigned hurt. "Are you laughing at me, Mr. Cullen?"

Edward's smile slowly melted away and something dark flashed in his eyes. Whatever it was ignited my insides and sent a throbbing pulse between my legs. I gasped.

_Note to self, call him Mr. Cullen more often. He likey._

Before any more awkwardness could be unleashed, I decided to break away from the tumultuous sexual tension that started to rebuild itself between us.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then." Grabbing my purse I turned and walked out the back door.

Once in the safety of my truck, I took a deep breath before grabbing my cell and dialing Alice. In my rearview mirror I noticed an older model Oldsmobile with a fading blue paint job and a large bumper sticker that read 'Pharmacists Do It Over The Counter' in bright red letters.

_That must be James' car, the pig. I was wrong about the Harley._

"Seriously, I was about to call the store and ask Edward to go check his back seat," she barked into the phone, although Alice didn't really bark, more like she yapped.

"Sorry, Al. To say it's been a hell of day would be the understatement of the millennium."

I could almost see her cringe through the phone. "Oooh, that bad? Did you hurt yourself? Or someone else?"

I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut.

"So that would be a yes, then. And if it was bad enough to warrant a silent response, I'm going to guess you hurt someone else. A customer?"

"Nope…worse."

"Well if it was Jessica or Lauren there would be a sick joy in your voice, which I'm not hearing, so it must've been Edward."

Once again, my silence spoke volumes.

"Was there pink goo involved?"

That reminded me. "Yeah, how did you know that would happen?"

She giggled. "I have no clue, just some weird though that popped into my head this morning. Was I right?"

"Yes," I grumbled. "There was pink goo involved, before I smacked Edward in the head with the door."

There was a beat before Alice broke into hysterics and I held the phone away from my ear, glaring at it as if she could see me.

"Anyway," I shouted, bringing the phone back to my ear. "Thanks, I appreciate you laughing at my humiliation. You're a true friend, honestly."

"Oh, Bella, I love you, you clumsy little hottie."

"I also almost murdered Jessica and Lauren, too, for being complete heartless dumbasses, but your text message interrupted my psychotic break. Hey, by the way, what's the big news?" I asked, recalling her message.

"Oh! Tuesday is the big day. Closing day! The day we sign the papers and Glow becomes all mine!" she said excitedly, and I could picture her jumping up and down in place. "And this weekend we officially become roomies! And Saturday night I'm meeting Jasper's sister, Rosalie. There's so much going on I can barely contain myself! Oooh, you should come with me on Saturday. I admit, I'm a little nervous about meeting his twin sister. I mean, what if she doesn't like me? I've only been dating her brother for a week. It's kind of a big deal, meeting the family, well just his sister, but still, right?"

"Alice, take a breath," I yelled, halting her rant. "One of these days I swear you're going to talk yourself unconscious."

She growled.

"Don't rain on my parade because you had a shitty day," she spat, although I could tell she was smiling. "Just for that you definitely have to come with me on Saturday. Come on, I need your support."

"Um…I can't." I scrunched my face up awaiting the onslaught.

"What? What do you mean, you can't? Why, what else do you have going on? Oh, right, it's Saturday night. I forgot you have to shave your legs that night. Big plans with the flat screen?"

"Bitch."

"Samara."

"Hey!" I yelled. "I told you not to compare me to that scary kid from The Ring."

"I bet your hair is all hanging in your face right now. Are you drawing continuous circles in your notebook? _Seven days…"_ she whispered eerily.

"Stop it, Al. You know that movie scares the shit out of me."

She giggled maniacally before getting back to the subject at hand. "So what gives about Saturday?"

"Um…I kind of…have a…IhaveadatewithEdwardCullen," I blurted out as fast as possible, like ripping of a band aid.

I heard Alice sputter and cough on the other end.

"I'm sorry, Bella, you're going to have to repeat that. I swear I just heard you say you had a date with Edward Cullen."

Sighing, I rubbed my face with my free hand.

"Yes," I yelled, slapping my hand on my thigh. "Well, it's sort of a date. I mean…I spilled the pink goo on his clothes and I offered to go to the mall with him on Saturday and replace the clothes I ruined, and his shoes…"

That's all I had to say before the squealing began.

_Oh, shit. I didn't think this one through. I just told Alice I was taking Edward shopping for clothes, something she's been dying to do since high school_.

"Holy shit, Bella, that's brilliant! Where should we take him first? Abercrombie for sure, although I think I want to attack the shoes first so maybe Bostonian, Cole Haan, Eddie Bauer…"

"Hold on, Alice, I didn't say this was a threesome."

Just then I noticed Edward emerge from the back of the store and walk toward me. Our eyes met through the windshield and he stopped. I sucked in a breath, completely ignoring Alice griping in my ear. His lips curled up into a small smile and I couldn't help but smile back at him. He nodded once at me before getting into the silver Volvo next to my beat up truck. I watched him pull away.

"Are you listening to me? Hello?"

Alice's shrill voice pulled me back to my senses.

"What? Oh, um…sorry…I…" I stuttered before snapping my mouth shut. Closing my eyes, I dropped my head back against the seat and groaned. "Look, Al, I'm headed home so let me call you back later."

She sighed heavily on the other end of the line before telling me she'd call me back tonight after she was done work. We hung up and I tossed my phone on the seat next to me. I lifted my hands to my head and rubbed my temples as my brain attempted to organize the flurry of thoughts and emotions blowing through it.

It had been so much more than just the first day at a new job; it was the first day of some semblance of a relationship with Edward Cullen. He agreed to be friends, to hang out and get to know each other, but a big part of me couldn't help but hold on to the hope that this friendship would merely be the precipice of something bigger. I mean, we were going out on Saturday, and I felt confident enough to say that fell in the "date" category. I couldn't deny there was an intense connection between us. When I closed my eyes and replayed the day in my mind, all I could recall were Edward's piercing stares, subtle touches, his bare muscular chest and sculpted jaw under my fingertips, his sweet scented breath washing over my face, his soft velvety voice in my ear, his laughter, the heat from his body as we seemed to instinctively gravitate towards each other…

_Shit, I'm in trouble._


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

_As usual I must offer my deepest thanks to the incomparable __**jennde**__, whom I am so fortunate to have as my beta, even when she makes me wear my big girl panties after she's proofed my chapter._

**Chapter 6**

As soon as I got home I went directly to my room and into my closet. On my hands and knees, I dug through the piles of shoes and handbags, most of which Alice bought for me and went unused. I finally spotted the brown box I'd been looking for and pulled it out of the closet. I sat on the floor and after a minute of rooting through the junk, I finally found it: my high school yearbook.

I ran my fingers over the leather maroon cover with the words _Forks High School_ embossed in gold. I leafed through the first two pages and cringed as I was immediately met with black and white photographs of Lauren and Jessica and a few other cheerleaders in uniform hamming it up for the camera.

_Bitches._

I quickly turned the page, passing over the faculty section until I reached the seniors. The faces were familiar, but I had to look at each name to remember who they were. Next to the posed headshots were each student's name, favorite class, favorite teacher, interest, clubs and activities in which they were involved, and a personal quote. Alice's photo was on the second page and I laughed out loud as I read over her little blurb. It took up half the page since she was involved in so many activities, and her interests were never ending. Her personal quote read: "Fashions fade – style is eternal." _Yves Saint Laurent._ Love you Bella!"

The other faces on the pages were similar, all involved in numerous clubs with multiple interests, the personal quotes ranging from the philosophical to the intellectual to the juvenile ("Spartans Rule!")

I turned the page and gasped. It wasn't Edward's photo that surprised me, but what was written next to it. His name. His favorite class, surprisingly Biology, considering he spent most of the class passed out on the floor. His favorite teacher, Mr. Banner. And that was it. Under Clubs/Activities…blank; under Interests…blank; under personal Quote...nothing.

I looked back at his photo, at the unruly mop of hair hanging in his eyes, his large black-rimmed glasses with the thick lenses and the grayscale photograph masking the beautiful jade green of his eyes that had mesmerized me these past few days. I ran my fingertip over the hard set of his jaw, the thin pressed line of his lips. There was only one word that came to mind when describing Edward's look in this photo…pain. It haunted his shadowed eyes, and my heart damn near broke for him.

I sighed in frustration as I flipped through more pages, angry at myself for barely giving Edward the time of day back then. I know I hardly spoke to anyone outside of Alice in high school because I really didn't give a shit about anyone else. Yet here I was, my head and heart a tempest of emotions over a man I'd known my entire life but had never taken the time to know. Now I wish I had. Edward Cullen was always the stereotypical class nerd, just as Jessica Stanley was the class slut, Tyler Crowley the class jock, and Eric Yorkie the class prep. I guess Bella Swan was the class klutz and Alice Brandon was the class popular chick. Everyone could be categorized. They should have had a line for that under our senior portraits, right next to Clubs/Activities.

Had I given myself the chance to know Edward back then, to _really_ know him, would things have been different? Would we have been friends? Would we have been boyfriend and girlfriend? Would the social consequences of that have mattered to me? Of course I was basing all of this on the assumption that Edward felt the same way for me that I did for him. I had no idea if that was true or not, but based on the looks he gave me and the subtle ways he would always try to touch me, I had to believe that he harbored some feelings for me. I knew that could just be wishful thinking, however.

But life was different now; we weren't in high school anymore. We were officially grown ups; college graduates and fully employed professionals. Although Edward was actually working in a career and I was merely employed to pay the bills, the simple fact that I had bills to pay made me a grown up. And like Edward said, we were different people now. I had to shake off the "what if's" and seize the opportunity I had been given now.

And hopefully "seize" a few other things in the process, like certain parts of Edward's anatomy.

Okay, that was just shameful. I had to stop molesting Edward in my thoughts.

Or not… they were _my_ thoughts, after all.

I continued through the yearbook, rolling my eyes at all the cheesy shots of the people I couldn't stand on homecoming floats, in the stands at basketball games, senior prom (I pretended to have the stomach flu even though Alice could tell I was full of shit), planting trees for Earth Day like they really cared, and in various candid shots taken around the school grounds. I came across a particular shot of Alice and me standing together in the parking lot. She was grinning widely with her arms wrapped around my waist. I smiled awkwardly with my right arm wrapped around her shoulders, my other hand in my pocket as we leaned against my rusty old truck. Sitting on my floor, I smiled wistfully at the picture, my eyes taking in every feature. And then I noticed something for the first time; standing in the background so far in the corner that he was barely in the shot, was Edward. He was easy to spot because of his tall, lanky stature and those tell tale glasses. I squinted and brought the book closer to my face. Upon closer inspection I could see the details of his face, and the fact that he was looking right at me and Alice.

_Well that's interesting_.

I turned back to the senior portraits and stared at Edward's picture for a while longer before my stomach started to growl. Sighing, I closed the book and dropped it back in the box of old crap before heading downstairs to make myself some Ramen noodles for dinner. It was cheap and edible and pretty much my standard diet all four years of college. That was all I needed back then and right now I had to save every penny I had, which wasn't much, to buy Edward a new shirt and some shoes on Saturday.

My dreams that night were interesting.

"_Who can show me how to write a cursive S," Ms. Hakos asked. Several hands shot up in the air. I kept my hand down as I doodled on my paper. "Lauren?"_

_Lauren Mallory smiled wide as she hopped up to the blackboard, taking the chalk from Ms. Hakos. She slowly pressed the chalk against the board, meticulously staying within the handwriting lines as she completed a perfect cursive S._

"_Very good, Lauren," the teacher praised. "Now you can return to your seat."_

_Lauren practically glowed with pride as she pranced back to her seat. She glanced at me for a moment, that know-it-all look on her freckled face, and I fought the urge to stick my tongue out at her. I heard someone laughing outside the classroom before disappearing into one of the other rooms. Suddenly, I needed to pee so I raised my hand._

"_Yes, Bella?"_

"_May I have the bathroom pass please, Ms. Hakos?"_

_Her eyes darted to the corner of the room and I followed her gaze to an empty desk. Edward Cullen usually sat there. His note book was still open on top of the desk with his pencil lying on top._

"_Edward took the pass, but that was ten minutes ago," she muttered to herself, obviously just realizing he had been gone for a while. My bladder didn't care at that moment._

_I tried not to dance in my seat, but it was hard to keep still. She seemed to notice._

"_All right, Bella, just go," she said. I ignored the snickering around me. Oh, like they didn't know what it felt like to really have to pee and not be able to hold it. Brats._

_Stepping out into the second grade hallway, I made it to the girls' bathroom in time. After relieving myself, I washed my hands and opened the door. That's when I heard a strange noise coming from the boys' bathroom directly across the hall._

_I stood still for a moment and listened carefully. The noise came again, and it sounded like someone was crying. I moved closer to the boys' bathroom and cracked open the door._

"_Hello?" I asked. I heard a gasp and then silence. _

"_Are there any boys in there?" I asked again, and then I heard someone sniffle._

_I rolled my eyes. Stupid boys. But if someone was hurt or something in there, I thought I should check and see if I needed to get the nurse. Charlie was a policeman and he was always telling me that it was our responsibility to help others._

"_Do you need the nurse?" I asked, still speaking through the crack in the door. I was a girl, after all, and not allowed in the boys' bathroom._

"_No," said a meek voice. And then he sobbed._

_I took a deep breath and decided to do something I never did…break the rules._

"_Are there any other boys in there besides you?" I asked. _

_He didn't answer, but neither did any other boys, so I decided the coast was clear._

_I opened the door and stepped inside. My eyes wandered inquisitively around the blue tile, and I grimaced as my nose was assaulted with the smell of boy. Gross._

_As I rounded the corner by the sinks, my eyes widened. There were strange looking sinks, way too low to actually wash your hands. They didn't have any faucets, but they had drains. _

_Where did the water come out of? The girls' bathroom didn't have sinks like these. _

_I continued to scan the room and noticed actual sinks along the other wall with a mirror above them. Oh, so the boys got two different kinds of sinks? How is that fair? On the far wall were three stalls like we had in our bathroom. And then I noticed a pair of brown loafers sticking out from under the door._

"_Hello?" I asked, stepping closer to the feet._

_The boy gasped again. As I moved closer, I noticed the feet were standing in a small puddle. I immediately smelled the strong odor of pee and I held my nose. _

"_Go away," he said quietly. Then he sniffled._

"_Are you crying?"_

"_You're not supposed to be in here."_

"_No, duh! But my daddy is a policeman and I heard you crying so I have to help you, he says."_

_The boy was quiet again. "Bella?"_

_I blinked, confused. "Yeah?"_

_The crying returned. Then I flashbacked to a few minutes ago and remembered Edward had still not returned from the bathroom._

"_Edward?" I asked, now standing directly in front of the door._

_He stopped crying and began to hiccup. "Yes."_

"_Are you all right?"_

_He was silent for a moment. "No."_

"_What happened?"_

_He didn't answer._

"_Can I open the door? You're not sitting on the toilet, are you?" Because that would have been just the ultimate disgusting thing ever._

"_No, just go away," he said, his voice a bit stronger. _

"_I'm not going to go away until you tell me what's wrong. Why are you crying? Are you hurt? Do you need me to get the nurse?"_

"_No," he said again. "I just want you to leave."_

_I'd had enough. I walked into the stall next to his, closed the toilet seat and stepped on top of it. I gripped the top of the stall and peered down into the next one to find Edward trembling and wringing his hands._

"_What are you doing, Edward?" I asked._

_His head shot up and his eyes darn near popped out of his head. Thank goodness he was wearing his glasses to keep them in their sockets._

"_What are you doing?" he asked, raising his voice. He shuffled his feet and I heard a squishing sound, like his shoes were wet. Then it dawned on me._

"_Did you pee your pants?" I asked, staring at the puddle at his feet._

_His eyes were red and his nose was all snotty as he wiped it on his sleeve. His face turned red and he looked down at his wet shoes._

"_I didn't mean to," he whispered._

_I rolled my eyes. Boys were really stupid._

"_Well of course you didn't mean to, silly," I said, shaking my head. "That's why it's called having an accident."_

_He didn't respond._

"_You should just go to the nurse's office. She can give you a pair of dry pants and call your mom if you want her to."_

_He shrugged. "I know."_

"_So then why are you standing in here? Why don't you just go?" _

"_I'm…I'm scared."_

"_Of what?"_

_He didn't say anything, only shrugged in response._

_That confused me. Boys were always acting so tough. What could he be scared of? Oh well, it was my duty as a policeman's daughter to help him out._

"_Do you want me to go with you?" I asked._

_His raised his head slowly to look at me and he hiccupped again._

"_You'd…you'd do that?"_

_Sighing, I stepped down from the toilet and back out into the bathroom._

"_Open the door, Edward."_

_After a moment of hesitation, he pushed the door open slowly. The front of his dark green pants was soaking wet. He looked anywhere but right at me. I kept my hands clenched at my side to keep from pinching my nose again against the smell._

"_Tyler…Tyler said something to me and it…he scared me and sometimes when I get scared I…have an accident." I looked up at him and noticed he was shaking…like, a lot. I wondered if he was cold. He pushed his hair out of his eyes with one hand while the other hand pushed his glasses back up on his face since they were sliding down his nose with his tears._

_I didn't know why, but I was suddenly really mad at Tyler Crowley. He was such a bully, always saying mean things. I personally hated him because whenever we were out on the playground, he'd stand under the wood fort to try to look up the girls' skirts. And this one time, we were playing wall ball at recess, and when the ball smacked me straight in the forehead and I fell down, he stood over me and laughed for a very long time. Then later during quiet time he tried to kiss me and then I threw up. He was the worst boy of them all._

_Poor Edward. _

"_Do you have any pee on your hands?" I asked, not wanting him to infect me with his disgusting boy pee cooties._

_He looked at me strangely. "No."_

"_Good," I said, holding out my hand to him. "Come on."_

_He stared at my hand for a while until I finally stomped my foot and shook my hand at him impatiently. Ever so slowly, he reached out and grasped my hand as I pulled him from the stall. I felt a shock where our hands held together, but I guessed it was just static electricity or something. He stepped gingerly around his puddle of pee as I turned and pulled him behind me and out into the hallway. I could feel his hand shaking in mine and I clasped my fingers around his tighter._

_The hallway was empty as I led him towards the nurse's office, and I was sure Edward was glad there was no one to see his soggy wet pants. Suddenly, a door opened down the hall in front of us. _

_Fourth graders, great. _

_They walked down the hall towards us in single file line, probably headed to the cafeteria for lunch. I felt Edward move closer behind me and I heard him sniffle and whimper._

_The fourth graders spotted us immediately, and I moved myself in front of Edward's body completely, blocking him from their view. They stared at us and I glared back at them, daring any one of them to say something about the shaking boy with the wet pants behind me. I didn't care how much older they were than me, no one was going to scare Edward any more than he already was. I didn't need him having another accident behind me because he might get his disgusting pee on my Mary Jane's. At the end of the line I saw a big husky dark-haired boy looking right at Edward, and I recognized him as Edward's brother Emmett. I wondered if I should tell Emmett, and maybe Edward would rather have his big brother help him to the nurse's office, but then Emmett rolled his eyes and shook his head and turned his head to the other side to look at the wall as he walked right past us without a word._

_Did I mention boys were stupid?_

_I kept walking down the hall with Edward cowering behind me, hiding him from prying eyes until we finally reached the nurse's office. I opened the door and pulled Edward to my side as Ms. DiNenno looked up from her desk._

"_Oh, hello, Bella." She knew me well…I was in here a lot myself, although usually for a bandaid,, not a pair of spare pants._

"_Hi, Ms. DiNenno. Edward here had an accident."_

_She looked at him and her eyes softened. "I can see that. Hello, Edward." She approached him slowly, a small smile on her face. Ms. DiNenno was such a nice lady. His fingers tightened around mine, and I squeezed his hand to let him know he'd be okay now._

"_Let's see if I can find you some dry pants to wear," she said, digging through the box at the side of her desk. "Do you want me to call your mom?"_

_He nodded and she smiled at him as she returned her attention to the box._

_Well, my work was done here. _

_I tried to let go of Edward's hand but he held it tight. I turned to him to tell him to let go, but he was staring right at me, his eyes wide behind his glasses._

_He was still shaking but he looked more relaxed, and I couldn't help but feel happy that I had done my duty and helped this boy. I smiled at Edward and after a moment he smiled back._

"_Thank you, Bella," he whispered to me._

"_You're welcome, Edward," I said. He finally released my hand and I left the nurse's office deciding that when I grew up, I'd be a police officer just like my daddy. _

I woke with a start, sitting straight up in my bed. My hand still tingled as if my body remembered what it felt like to touch Edward. I stared at my hand in the darkness for a moment before a smile crept over my face. I guess having Edward on the brain so much this past week caused my subconscious to pull its memories of him to the surface. I could now clearly recall that day in second grade when I helped Edward to the nurse's office after he had wet his pants and was scared shitless. I also remembered later that day out on the playground at recess on the swings when I "accidentally" swung right into Tyler Crowley, kicking him extra hard and knocking him on his butt in front of everyone. I may have also informed Ms. Hakos of Tyler's voyeuristic tendencies under the wood fort. Back then it didn't mean anything to me to get back at Tyler for Edward; at present, I was wondering if even as a child I didn't harbor some feelings for him without even knowing it.

Friday at work went much the same as the day before. I tried to remain focused and stuck by Mary's side most of the day as I was still nervous about being left on my own in only two days. That didn't stop me from casting as many glances in Edward's direction as possible, only to find him looking right back at me. There were a few times we had to pass each other, and I may or may not have stretched my fingers to brush against his hand. Edward was still twitchy and trembling, but when we would talk to each other he seemed more relaxed. I wanted us to take our lunch break together again, but the pharmacy got really busy during lunch time and Edward sat glued to his stool filling prescription after prescription as Mary and I decided to take turns for lunch again. The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, and I was grateful I managed to not hurt myself or anyone else. Lauren and Jessica even stayed out of my way; actually they full out ignored me altogether, which suited me just fine. James had not arrived yet before I left, and Tanya had called to say she was running late yet again. Mary sighed heavily and told me to go on. Something told me that Tanya being late to work wasn't that uncommon an occurrence. I wondered how often Mary stayed past her shift, waiting for Tanya to relieve her. Mary was probably holding back that little secret until after she left and I discovered it on my own.

After work, I dragged myself to my gynecologist appointment and tried to smile through the small talk while Dr. Connelly had her head between my legs. As she did every year, she asked me about birth control, and after a mental review of my relationship status and lack of sex life, I had always refused, knowing I'd never need it. This year, however, I told her I wanted it. I wasn't saying I was sure Edward and I would be jumping into bed together Saturday night, but with the way I was feeling about him, and the signs he was giving me in his own awkward way, I thought it better to be safe than sorry. So she gave me a prescription.

And it was while driving home that I realized I'd have to get that prescription filled. And I knew the pharmacist who'd be filling it.

The mortification set in immediately, but upon further contemplation, I realized I could actually use this embarrassing situation to my advantage. Edward would know personally that I was "protected", so to speak, should anything ever happen between us in the future. This shouldn't be an uncomfortable situation. If anything, it would benefit my endeavors.

After speaking with Alice on Friday night, it was decided that she'd move the bulk of her stuff in on Saturday morning with Jasper's help. I found it amusing that after only a week of knowing this guy, she already had him moving her shit at the snap of her fingers. I felt bad that I had to work and couldn't be there to help them, but she told me to stop being ridiculous. Nevertheless, I agreed to go to Spank's with her on Saturday before meeting Edward at the mall to give her the moral support she needed when meeting Jasper's sister. I didn't know why she was so nervous to meet this woman; everyone immediately loved Alice a minute after meeting her. She had nothing to worry about. If this Rosalie was Jasper's twin sister, I thought she had to be just as easy-going, relaxed and soft-spoken as her brother. Saturday morning at work was busy, and it wasn't until lunch time that I had a chance to actually talk to Edward. I had gone out to get a sandwich and brought him back one, as well. After stepping behind the counter and finding him perched upon his stool with his head bent over a tray of blue pills, I nonchalantly placed his sandwich directly in his lap. Edward jumped a bit in his seat and raised startled eyes to me. I played innocent.

"Turkey with extra mayo, right?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Uh…yeah, thanks," he whispered. He started digging in his pocket, presumably to pay me for the sandwich.

"Edward, please, you do not owe me the four dollars and thirty-five cents."

"Bella…"

"No, I insist. You can buy me a drink tomorrow night after we go shopping if you feel that badly about it." And then I winked, but he looked confused, so it probably actually appeared as if I had something stuck in my eye.

"Anyway," I said in an effort to hide my awkward attempt at flirting, "can we meet up at the mall around six tonight? I promised Alice I'd help her with something."

He nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"Great, so…should we meet in front of the Starbucks near the south entrance at six then?"

He nodded again.

_Ah Edward, my greasy-haired mute_. I wondered how vocal he could actually get…or how vocal I could make him. Which reminded me…

"Um, Edward…I have…a, um…prescription I need filled," I mumbled, suddenly feeling nervous and embarrassed about the small scrap of paper in my pocket.

He put his sandwich down on the table and wiped his face with a napkin. I watched him closely as he looked at me expectantly, like he was waiting for something…_oh right._

I dug into my pocket and slowly retrieved the scrip. I willed my hand to stop shaking as I handed the paper over to his waiting hand. A giant lump formed in my throat and I prayed he didn't ask me a question at that moment because if he did, I'd have been incapable of speech.

He glanced at the prescription. I was watching him so intently that I swore I saw an eyelash fall from his lid onto his cheek as if it were in slow motion. His eyes widened ever so slightly and the paper shook in his trembling hand, but that was nothing new.

Then I knew I had nothing to worry about because my Edward the pharmacist was a professional. He got right down to business, pulling my name up on the computer and typing in the information. He rose from his stool and went down the small aisle of shelves toward the back, retrieving a box with pink lettering all over it. He opened the box, pulled out a few things and was back to his stool in a flash, where he printed a label. He opened a pink plastic case and adhered the label inside before closing the lid and tossing it into a pharmacy bag with three enclosed packs. Stapling the bag closed after inserting the standard manufacturer information, he handed it to me.

I took the bag from his hand, too nervous to actually look at him.

"You're all set," he said quietly, and I finally looked at him. I couldn't help but gasp at the intensity in his eyes behind his glasses. I felt like they were burning right through me, singing my very soul. How could he look at me like that…like I was the only thing in the entire room? Suddenly I found it difficult to breathe.

"Yes, I am," I replied in a whisper, getting completely lost in his gaze.

That energized pull I constantly felt towards him began to intensify, and before I knew it, we were standing so close that I could feel the rise and fall of his chest against mine. The sweet smell of his warm breath washed across my face, and my eyelids began to close as my lips instinctively puckered to meet his…

"Edward, there's a customer on the phone asking about her heart medication interacting with her antibiotic," Mary said, stepping up behind the counter into Edward's workspace.

And then, because the universe hates me for some reason, I watched in horror as Edward jumped so far away from me that he backed right into his stool, lost his footing, and fell backwards into a shelf of medications. Bottles and boxes rained down upon him, knocking his glasses off his face.

Edward sat frozen amidst the rubble, his face so red he looked sun burned. I gasped and quickly knelt down beside him.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" I asked. He didn't answer.

"Edward?" Mary asked, her hand nearly covering her mouth in surprise.

Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them. He glanced around the floor as if looking for something. I picked up his glasses and handed them to him. He slid them on his face and pushed the variety of pharmaceutical paraphernalia off his chest and lap before slowly rising.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I'll clean this up, I swear," I said, fluttering about. I had no idea what went where, but I knew I had to fix this.

Edward didn't say anything to me. He moved towards Mary and took the phone from her hand, speaking in very few words to the customer. Mary gave me a look as if to ask me what the hell was going on.. I simply shrugged and gave a fake smile.

What the hell was I thinking? Almost kissing my sort-of boss right there behind the pharmacy counter? I was completely mental. And then, to top it all off, we were damn near caught, which sent my frightened animal scurrying into a shelf of, I'm assuming, very expensive medications.

"Everything all right back there?" came Lauren's nasally voice over the intercom. "We heard a loud noise."

I bit my tongue, wanting nothing more than to pick up that phone and say something snarky like, _Edward, Mary and I were engaging in a threesome back here and unless you wanted to watch, mind your own damn business._ But then I thought that would be highly inappropriate and extremely disgusting, so I simply faced the front of the store and gave a thumbs up in response.

Edward hung up the phone and moved to his computer, righting his stool. He looked at the mess in front of the shelf next to him and sighed heavily.

I grimaced, feeling actual pain at the thought of him being disappointed in me.

"I'm really sorry, Edward," I said softly, gnawing nervously on my bottom lip.

Mary returned to the counter to assist a customer and Edward turned towards me, blinking his beautiful green eyes, which were magnified slightly by his glasses.

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he said.

I felt my head tilt to the side in confusion.

"I sent you flying back into the shelf," I said. Wasn't it obvious that I screwed up again?

He blushed again and lowered his head. "No, that was all me."

I stepped closer to him; he was speaking so quietly I could barely hear him.

"Are you okay?" I asked again.

"I just…I just get…" he stuttered, running his hands through his train wreck of a hairdo.

I placed my hand on his forearm, squeezing gently in reassurance.

He glanced down at my hand before looking into my eyes. I felt his trembling ease slightly.

"I just get so…nervous around…people…but, with you…" He held his mouth open, as if he wanted to finish that thought. But when he snapped his jaw shut and shook his head, I knew he wouldn't take it any further.

He just wasn't ready, and I was okay with that.

And that gave me hope.

"Come on," I said, releasing his arm and crouching down in front of the mess on the floor. "Let's get this cleaned up so we can enjoy the rest of our Saturday."

He crouched down beside me and when I looked up at him, I found him smiling at me. Oh, how I really loved the sight of him smiling. It warmed me to my core, like drinking hot chocolate after being stuck out in the freezing cold shoveling snow for two hours.

As we picked up and organized the mess in comfortable silence, a tingling sensation shot through me as I realized that Hurricane Bella may have finally found an equally unstable force to love.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Thanks for the reviews, putting me on alert and adding me to your faves. It means the world to me. And major thanks to my awesome beta, **jennde.**

**Chapter 7**

A few minutes before my shift was over, James slithered through the back door and up behind the pharmacy counter. He winked at me and it took everything in my power not to grimace and say "ick" to his face. He stepped up behind the divider and I heard him mumble something to Edward. Edward didn't reply but hastily made his way into the back room without a glance at anyone.

A petite blonde girl approached the counter and smiled at me.

"Hi, you must be Bella," she said, her blue eyes twinkling. She was dressed in a red turtleneck sweater, fitted jeans and black ballet flats.

I nodded, feeling my brow crease in confusion.

"Um…yeah," I replied as Mary appeared at my side.

"Ah, Kate, I was wondering if I'd get to see you before I left," Mary said, giving Kate a genuine smile.

"I told Uncle El I had to see you before you up and left us," the blonde replied to Mary with an exaggerated frown.

Mary chuckled and shook her head.

"Not to worry, Kate. You can tell your uncle that I'm leaving the counter in Bella's more than capable hands," Mary said, placing her hand on my shoulder. "She's only been here for a few days, but it seems she's been here forever with how quickly she picked everything up."

"I'm Kate…it's nice to meet you, Bella." Kate extended her hand over the counter and I shook it.

"Nice to meet you, too," I said. Kate smiled, showing her perfectly white teeth, then turned and stepped up behind the counter.

I must have looked completely confused again because Mary felt the need to clarify.

"Kate is taking over our shift," Mary explained.

"Oh, I thought Tanya worked the afternoon shift," I said, looking between Mary and Kate.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Oh, no, Aunt Tanya refuses to work weekends. Usually my mom, Irina, works the weekend afternoon shift, or me, if I have the time between semesters. I go to the community college in PA. Just taking a few core classes until my acceptance to UCLA comes through. My uncle Eleazar owns this place."

"Wow, that's great. UCLA, huh? Your parents don't mind you leaving the state?"

"Are you kidding? The sooner I can escape the dreary clouds and rain of this state, the better. And my folks don't care where I go, as long as I'm pre-law. Sunny California, here I come!"

I liked Kate. She was cute and bubbly and kind of reminded me of Alice.

_Speaking of Alice_…I had to get home to find out how the move was going. More importantly, I had to get ready for tonight.

"Well, it was really great meeting you, Kate. I really like working here; Mary's been a great teacher. I'm going to miss her."

Kate looked at Mary and shook her head. "It's a shame, isn't it? Mary's been like a grandmother to me. No offense, Bella…I mean, I think you'll do great here, but this place is just going to suck without Mary."

Mary chuckled again and wrapped her arms around Kate, patting her on the back.

"I'm not leaving the country, for goodness sake. I'll still be around," Mary said, winking at me. "Now enough of this, I need to go babysit my _real_ granddaughter tonight, and I'm sure Bella has to get home."

"Oh, right!" Kate exclaimed, pulling away from Mary. "Yes, absolutely, you two go on. I've got things covered here." We all heard James' voice murmuring on the phone behind us.

Kate grimaced and I was pretty sure I heard her say "ick" under her breath. Guess I wasn't the only one who felt that way about him.

"Great, I get James tonight. I thought Edward would be working."

"Edward only works in the mornings now," Mary confirmed.

Kate looked at me and smiled. "Lucky you, at least you get the silent one. I get to look forward to an evening of James talking non-stop about how awesome he is," she whispered, rolling her eyes.

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks.

_Lucky me, indeed_.

"Mary, Uncle El wants to know if you can make a trip up to PA tomorrow. He, Aunt Carmen and the rest of the family want to take you out to dinner to give you a proper send-off, and to thank you for being such an amazing employee for the past six years," Kate said, smiling at Mary.

Mary blushed and returned the smile. "That would be lovely, Kate. Actually, I think I'll call your uncle right now before I clock out for the last time."

I hadn't known Mary for very long, but I felt a little pang of sadness that she'd be leaving. Sure, I was still nervous about being on my own, but she really was easy to get along with, and like Kate, I got that grandmother vibe from her, too.

"Please don't be a stranger, Mary. I know we've only worked together for a few days, but I'm really going to miss you," I said, pulling her into a hug.

Mary chuckled and patted me on the back. "I'm going to miss you, too, Bella. And I'm glad you'll be here to take over for me."

She pulled back and looked me in the eyes, her smile softening.

"Make sure you take care of our boy for me," she said quietly, her eyes saying so much more. My stomach filled with butterflies as I looked back at her.

"I fully intend to, Mary." And I meant it.

After saying our goodbyes, Kate and Mary continued chatting while I made my way to the back room. Opening the Employees Only door, I was startled to find Edward still there. He was standing by his locker with his coat on and his brown leather briefcase in hand. He looked at me then looked away quickly, pushing his glasses up on his face then running his hand through his wild hair.

He was nervous.

"Edward?" I said quietly, slowly making my way towards him. "Did you get to say goodbye to Mary?"

"Um…I said goodbye to her this morning, before anyone else got here."

I nodded in understanding. He probably wouldn't have been comfortable displaying any emotion in front of others, and saying goodbye to a woman he worked with every day for the past three months would have to have had some sort of effect on him.

"So…I guess I'll see you around six then?" I asked, opening my locker and taking out my coat and purse.

He watched me slide my arms into the coat with great interest before nodding in response.

I couldn't help but smile up at him. "Great! Well, I gotta run…Alice was moving in today and I'm anxious to get home to see how she made out."

Edward opened his mouth as if to say something, and I waited patiently, but he remained silent. Instead he shifted his feet and nodded again.

We exited through the back door together and walked silently to our cars. I snuck a peek at him, allowing myself one last parting glimpse, and I noticed he was doing the same with me. I couldn't help but giggle, and Edward blushed and smiled.

_Tonight should be very interesting, to say the least_, I thought.

After the quick drive home, I noticed Alice's car was not in the driveway. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was almost three thirty and decided that she had already probably left for Port Angeles.

I entered through the front door and was stopped cold in my tracks. There was just stuff…everywhere. Boxes overflowing with clothes, laundry baskets filled with shoes, a pile of colorful coats near the hall closet – my eyes didn't know where to land after they'd popped out of my head.

Sighing, I dropped my purse in the entryway and followed the sort of maze created by Alice's crap into the kitchen. Another note from Alice awaited me on the table top.

_Bella,_

_I know, it's a disaster area right now, but I didn't have time to put everything away once we were finished moving things in. I promise I'll spend the rest of the weekend organizing my shit. Had to run with Jazzy up to PA to meet Rosalie. You're still coming, right? I laid out some clothes for you on your bed for your big date night with Edward…geez that sounds so weird to say. Anyway, I'll see you around 4:30 at Spank's!_

_Love, Al_

Big date night...that girl loves to blow things out of proportion. I was essentially taking Edward to buy clothes, like a mom taking her son shopping right before the start of school.

_What? I'm his mother now? I am seriously disturbed._

Shaking my head, I made my way upstairs to my room and promptly scowled at the attire sprawled out atop my bedspread. Alice had paired some tight, skinny jeans I had never seen before with a royal blue v-neck sweater that I _had_ seen before and _knew_ clung very tightly to me. At least she was permitting me to wear my black and white Converse sneakers, which were tucked neatly beside my bed.

Fifteen minutes later I was standing in front of my mirror admiring myself from every angle, which I knew Alice would be doing had she been here. Yes, the clothes were tight and the jeans showed off my "beacon" very nicely, but I couldn't begrudge Alice for cutting off my circulation with fashion this time. After all, I was going to be spending the evening with Edward, and since I knew I didn't stand a chance with flirting, at least I could put my physical attributes to good use.

I took a few extra minutes on my hair and makeup until I was pleased with the finished product. I threw my wallet containing my emergency credit card (which, admittedly, had been getting too much use since my financial situation moved into emergency status), some lip gloss and my mints into my little black purse and practically skipped down the stairs in my excitement.

As I got closer to Port Angeles, my stomach began to tie itself in knots. I wondered what Edward was doing at that moment. He had said he had an "ongoing engagement" on Saturday afternoons, whatever that meant. Perhaps he'd fill me in when I saw him later on.

I pulled into the small parking lot behind Spank's. It was fairly empty, but it was only about four thirty on a Saturday; I was sure this place would be packed in only a few hours. I felt the chill in the air and I pulled my coat tighter around my body as I approached the front door. In the window, I noticed a flyer for an upcoming Halloween party at the bar. I rolled my eyes and whined to myself, as I knew Alice would be all over that. Halloween, to Alice, was like giving a five year old the keys to Disneyworld. She went nuts and there was no reeling her in.

Pushing open the door, I stepped inside the dimly lit bar. It wasn't packed, but it was still a decent crowd; at least most of the tables looked occupied. I immediately spotted Alice and Jasper sitting at the bar. She was waving at me and bouncing in her seat.

"Uh-oh, everyone duck and cover! Hurricane Bella has just arrived!" Emmett bellowed, and every eye in the place turned in my direction. I glared at him as he stood behind the bar, his face alit with his infectious grin and deep dimples.

I took a step forward and, as if on cue, my foot met with nothing but air as I placed it down. My whole body stumbled forward and right into a banister. Apparently, there was a step right inside the front door, with a big yellow sign that read _Watch Your Step_ right next to it. Well, at least I didn't end up flat on my back or on my ass this time.

Of course, this only caused Emmett to fall to the floor with laughter, his loud guffaws echoing off the walls of the bar. Several other patrons snickered as well.

As I straightened myself up, I dramatically took a bow as Alice and Jasper clapped from the bar.

_Hey, when you find it nearly impossible to walk across a flat surface without ending up with some limb in a cast, you have to learn to laugh at yourself._

I cautiously walked toward the bar, grateful that the other customers already lost all interest in me as they turned back to their drinks and the televisions along the wall, which were broadcasting some kind of press conference with some sports player.

Alice jumped off her stool and wrapped her tiny arms around me.

"Hey, roomie!"

I laughed and hugged her tight.

"Hey, yourself."

"Nice entrance, Bells," Emmett said from behind Alice.

I pulled away from my best friend and shot him the evil eye.

"Be nice, Emmett."

He put his hands in the air and shook his head, chuckling all the while.

"Hello again, Bella," Jasper said, tipping his beer bottle towards me.

I smiled. "Hi, Jasper. It's nice to see you again. Thanks so much for helping Alice move in today. I felt horrible not being there to help."

He shrugged his broad shoulders. "Not a problem. I'm finding it rather difficult to say no to this little lady, anyway." He placed a hand on Alice's shoulder and squeezed. The gesture warmed me.

"I'm so sorry about the mess I left," Alice interrupted, completely ignoring Jasper.

_Oh yeah, she's nervous all right. _

"I had so much to move and not enough time to sort through it all, plus I don't know where I'm putting everything. I mean, we kind of have to decide what's going where, and what you want me to touch and not touch…"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well…Charlie's things. I mean, they're still, you know, where they've been."

My heart stuttered as I realized she was right. I had not touched a thing of Charlie's since returning home, and to be honest, I hadn't even thought about it. I was just living in my house as it always was.

"Don't get all sad on me, Bella. Really, it's fine. If you want Charlie's things to remain out, I completely understand."

No. I was moving on. While I still had no clue what I wanted to do with my life, because I sure as hell wasn't going to be a pharmacy aide until I reached retirement age, I could begin figuring things out in other areas. I had my own house with an awesome roommate who breathed life into me, and I was experiencing new feelings for a man I couldn't stop thinking about, which both scared and exhilarated me simultaneously.

"No, Al. I think we should…I think it's time to pack Charlie's things away. Actually, you know what? We should redecorate the house."

Her blue eyes went wide and her jaw fell open, the color draining from her face. For a minute she looked like a waxed figure in a museum. I wondered if she was still breathing.

"Holy hell, Bells…you actually managed to shut her up," Emmett said in awe.

"Al…you in there?" I asked, waving my hand in front of her eyes.

"Are you serious, Bella?" she suddenly squealed, vibrating in place as she clapped her hands together rapidly. I could almost see the wheels turning in her head as she began planning themes and color palates.

"Not right away, okay? I mean, I have to build up my bank account. But, yes…let's do it." I had to laugh when she leapt into my arms.

The sound of a cell phone called our attention. Jasper dug into his pocket and fished out a sleek black phone, answering it.

"Hey," he said, obviously knowing who it was. Alice turned towards him.

I turned to Emmett, and for the first time really took in his appearance. He was wearing a sleeveless white shirt with the Nike symbol splashed across the front and black jogging shorts. His face and hair were damp with perspiration.

"Aren't you violating health code regulations serving drinks like that?" I asked, arching an eyebrow in challenge.

He gave me a lopsided grin and placed a beer bottle in front of me.

"I just got back from the gym," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. "I didn't have time to run home and shower before…um…" He darted his eyes around the bar as he began rearranging coasters.

I didn't have to be Edward-smart to know what he was getting at.

"So you're here to meet the famous Rosalie as well?" I asked.

"Well, no…I mean, yes…I mean, I've met her before. I know her…quite well, actually," he said, his lips turning up into a wry smile. "But it's been a while."

"You sure you want your little reunion with her to be tainted by your overall sweaty appearance? I mean, she may look at you and cringe in disgust," I said, making a face.

"Just shut up and drink, Bells," he said, pushing the bottle towards me.

"You may want to double up on the deodorant," I replied, waving my hand in front of my nose and grimacing.

He threw his head back and laughed heartily, smacking the top of the bar.

"I said drink, woman!"

I laughed along with him and took a sip from the bottle.

"All right, but only one for now. I have somewhere I gotta be in an hour. Oh, I'm going out with Edward, actually!" I exclaimed, suddenly realizing I was speaking to Edward's brother.

Emmett's smile quickly fell as he straightened up. His eyes grew intense for a moment as he regarded me.

"You're…you're going out with Edward tonight? Like…on a date?" he asked, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

I didn't know how to reply, considering his rather abrupt mood change. I felt tension rolling off of him in waves. I began to wonder about Emmett and Edward's relationship. My memories of growing up reminded me that the Cullen boys weren't exactly close. Actually, Emmett always seemed to be rather embarrassed of Edward.

"Well, we're just going to do a little shopping over at the mall. I ruined his shirt at work the other day and I felt like I owed him…"

"You're working with him? At the pharmacy?"

"Uh…yeah, I just started a few days ago."

"Oh…"

I felt Alice's hand clamp down on my arm like a vice.

"That was Rosalie, just needing some last minute directions," Jasper said, unknowingly interrupting the odd discussion between Emmett and myself. Jasper closed his cell phone and put it back into his pocket.

Emmett blinked at me once more before turning his attention to Jasper, the glint returning to his eyes. I was so grateful for Jasper at that moment.

"ETA?" Emmett asked, running his palms along his shorts in a nervous gesture.

"A few minutes, I guess," Jasper replied, sipping his beer and grinning at Emmett's nervousness.

"Cool. Um…I'm gonna…I gotta run to the back to…check…something…" Emmett trailed off, rushing out from behind the bar to the back room. I notice him discreetly sniff himself in the armpit region and I giggled at the fact that he was probably going to find some deodorant. I hadn't been completely joking with him.

I heard Alice humming at my side as she shifted from foot to foot, her hand still clamped around my arm. Alice only hummed when she was nervous.

"Nervous, Al?" I asked quietly in her ear.

She glared at me. "I'm not nervous! Do I look nervous? I'm not nervous. Why should I be? Do I look nervous?"

I laughed and pried her hand off my arm so I could drape it across her shoulder.

"Calm down, I'm sure she's just as sweet and kind as Jasper seems to be."

Jasper apparently heard me and he gave me a look as if to say, 'you don't know what you're in for.' Well, that wasn't good.

Just then the front door opened and we all turned to look at who was entering.

It was like something out of a movie. This drop dead gorgeous blonde bombshell walked through the door, the waning sunlight casting a glow from behind her, illuminating her entire form. She looked almost angelic. And I couldn't be sure, but she seemed to move in slow motion. In fact, I was suddenly aware that the music that had been playing in the background stopped, and now you could hear a pin drop.

All eyes were on this blonde goddess who strode purposefully into the bar, elegantly stepping off the step that I had missed, her black high heels playing a staccato beat against the glossy wood floors. The men in the room followed her every move, their heads simultaneously turning to follow her path, while the women glared at her, yet internally wished they could be her.

Her skin was gloriously tan and her legs seemed to go on forever, the muscles of her sculpted calves and thighs moving as she walked. She wore a short black skirt that bounced with each step she took. Her tight pink cotton shirt clung to her body, accentuating her large breasts that I knew had to be real, even though they looked like they could be fake because they were just too perfect.

_I know I'm a chick, but hell, even I can appreciate a beautiful woman without it having to be sexual_.

She wore a denim jacket that showed off her long blonde curls as they draped over her shoulders. Her makeup was heavy but flawless, like a runway model and not a trashy whore. Her ruby red lips were turned up into a smile that I could only define as sinful, and something told me that was just her natural smile.

In my musings, I vaguely registered Jasper standing up behind me and moving towards this gorgeous woman. Of course, this had to be Rosalie. I began to feel nervous _for_ Alice.

"Hey, little brother," Rosalie said, her voice sultry and rich. She wrapped her arms around Jasper as he laughed.

"Just because you're seventeen minutes older than me doesn't mean you can call me your little brother, Rosie," Jasper replied, kissing her cheek.

Rosalie winked at him and turned her attention to me and Alice. She arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at us, and I mentally snapped myself out of my haze so as to not come off like a total idiot when meeting this woman.

"Alice?" she asked, looking right at me.

"Uh, no," I replied, nodding my head towards Alice.

"Rosie, I'd like you to meet Alice," Jasper said, wrapping his arm around Alice, whose hand was once again clamped around my bicep. And she was squeezing…really hard.

Rosalie inspected Alice from head to toe rather obviously as Alice beamed up at her. Rosalie was quite a bit taller than Alice, but then again, who wasn't?

"Hi, Rosalie, it's great to meet you," Alice said, finally releasing my arm and sticking out her little hand.

Rosalie shook it quickly before flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Well, well, Alice, you've certainly done something to my brother because he just can't shut up about you."

Alice and Jasper both blushed, which made me laugh.

Rosalie turned toward me. "And you are?"

"Oh, um…hi, I'm Bella. Alice's best friend."

"Alice needed a little support to meet her new beau's sister, huh?" Rosalie said, grinning at Alice.

Alice's face fell and she began to stutter, but Rosalie giggled.

"Don't sweat it, sweetie. That was smart of you. I've been told I can be a little…intimidating."

Jasper snorted. Rosalie shot him a look.

"So, Rosalie…Jasper tells me you're a stylist," Alice interjected, quickly changing the subject. Her voice wasn't as strong as it usually was, and I could tell she was feeling the intimidation Rosalie had mentioned.

Rosalie moved next to me to sit on one of the barstools, and we all followed suit. She straightened her long back and flipped her hair again in one graceful move.

"That's right. And I hear you are the proud new owner of a salon."

Alice grinned. "As of this coming Tuesday. And Rosalie, since you are planning on being a permanent resident of Port Angeles, I would like to offer you a job at Glow."

Rosalie smirked as if she was expecting Alice's offer.

"Just like that? You haven't even seen my work. I could be completely terrible, hacking into people's hair like I'm cutting with pruning shears. You sure you want to hire me blind?"

Alice smirked right back at her, a mischievous glint in her eye.

_Ah, there's the Alice I know_.

"Actually, I did a little homework. I spoke to Lisa at Shear Waves in Seattle."

I heard Rosalie gasp at my side.

"You…checked up on me?"

Alice shrugged. "I had to make sure I wasn't hiring someone who'd make my customers look like they'd been cut by Edward Scissorhands. Besides, Lisa said you were fuckawesome and truly talented. She also may have let me in on a little secret about a certain professional cheerleading squad who cheers for a certain professional Seattle football team who wanted to hire you as their full-time stylist."

Rosalie gasped again. "She told you that?"

"You were asked to work for the Seahawks cheerleaders?" I asked in surprise.

Rosalie regained her composure and shrugged a shoulder. "One of the girls came to us in an emergency after a bad dye job and I'm the one who got stuck with her. After a session with me, she wouldn't shut up about how awesome I was. Next thing I knew, I had twenty cheerleaders booking appointment after appointment with me, and then their squad leader contacted me about coming to work for them exclusively."

"Wow, that's impressive," I said. "Why did you say no?"

"I didn't want to be tied down," she replied, inspecting her perfectly manicured (and real) nails. "Nana had just passed away and I knew Jasper and I would be inheriting her house, so a move was inevitable, anyway."

"Well, it was fate then that led you to me," Alice said, bouncing in her stool.

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, you should know that Alice thinks she's psychic, but I promise you she's completely sane. Just a bit…lively," I said, raising my eyebrows at my understatement.

Rosalie snickered as she looked back and forth between Alice and me.

"You gals are pretty cool. Jasper, I approve."

Jasper shook his head and took another drag from his bottle. Alice should have been shocked and dismayed at Rosalie's rather undermining statement, but she looked utterly happy.

"And Alice, you have yourself a hair stylist," Rosalie added. Alice clapped her hands in excitement, then leaned over and planted a quick kiss on Jasper's cheek. "Now why the hell am I still sitting here without a fucking drink?" Rosalie asked.

"You still love to complain, don't you, Rosalie Hale." Emmett sauntered out of the backroom, still dressed in his gym clothes, but he must have washed his face because he looked cleaner and less sweaty.

Rosalie turned her stool around and lifted her elbows to rest on the bar behind her, effectively pushing out her breasts.

Yeah, I couldn't help but stare.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the mighty Emmett Cullen."

"I see you can't forget just how mighty I can be," Emmett replied, coming to a stop in front of her.

"Jesus, here we go," Jasper muttered, rolling his eyes and dropping his forehead to Alice's shoulder. She laid her hand on his thigh.

I wondered what the history of Emmett and Rosalie was, because from what I could see, it was a hot and juicy one.

Rosalie slowly uncrossed her toned legs and stood from her stool, coming eye to eye with Emmett. They were standing so close together, and people were noticing. It was hard not to look, actually, like watching two animals in heat about to mount each other. The sexual tension coming from them was nearly enough to initiate a masturbation epidemic right in the middle of Spank's.

"Nice place you got here, Cullen," Rosalie sneered. "I could do without the sports crap, but it's a decent bar."

Alice giggled. "That's what I said!"

Rosalie didn't seem to hear her, or if she did, she was too busy to acknowledge it.

"I'm glad you approve. Can I buy you a drink?"

She tilted her head to the side and batted her long eyelashes at him. "Sure, but there's one thing I have to do first."

His lips curled up into that lopsided grin, showing one of his famous dimples. "And what's that, sweetheart?"

"Just this," she said sweetly before raising her hand and slapping him right across the face…hard. So hard, in fact, that it left a red hand print on his cheek.

Now everyone was watching them.

"Ow, what the fuck, Rosie?" Emmett whined, rubbing his cheek.

"That's for up and leaving me, naked in bed no less, without so much as a goodbye or a thanks," she spat at him. I made a mental note to never get on Rosalie's bad side.

Emmett's face softened and his hand twitched as if he wanted to touch her.

"I did say goodbye, baby," he said quietly. "You know why I had to come home."

"Four years, Emmett. Four fucking years without so much as a phone call or even a god damn letter? Was I so easy to just toss away?"

"Maybe you two should take this conversation elsewhere?" Jasper interceded, rising from his stool and placing a hand on his sister's shoulder. "I know you have a lot of shit to work out, and I was not so keen on the idea of you meeting Alice here of all places, Rosie, but I knew you two would run into each other eventually, so you might as well get this all out in the open now. Just not in the middle of Emmett's place of business and his customers, right, Em?"

"Fine," Rosalie seethed. "Where's your office?"

Emmett pointed toward the back room and Rosalie stalked off in that direction.

Alice and I sat there wide-eyed, wondering what the hell had just happened. Jasper mumbled something to Emmett and he nodded in response. Then Jasper sat back down on his stool and Emmett began to walk away, but stopped in front of me.

"Bella…if you're going out with Edward tonight…just…just be careful," he said, looking pointedly at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Was he telling me bring condoms?

"Edward's not so great with people."

"I'm well aware of that. I've known Edward a long time, remember?"

"I know you two were in the same class growing up, yeah, but I don't think you _really_ know him," he said, infusing kindness in his otherwise harsh words. "You don't know what life's been like for him."

"And you do?" I spat, shocking myself. _Where the hell did that come from?_

Emmett looked at his feet and sighed, nodding his head. "Edward and me, we're working through our shit, and I know I wasn't exactly there for him as a kid, but I'm here now and I just don't want to see him get hurt. I like you Bells, I really do. You were always a cool chick. I'm just saying…go easy. Tread carefully."

_Treat him like the frightened animal that he is._

I sighed heavily, my eyes stinging with tears. I could read nothing but sadness and remorse in Emmett's eyes and it broke my heart.

"I hear you loud and clear, Emmett. We're just friends who are going to hang out for a little while. That's it."

Emmett offered me a small smile before winking at me and continuing on his way towards the back. I didn't envy him the wrath that awaited him in his office.

"Well, that was…" It was all I could say.

Jasper laughed. "Yeah, that's actually the norm with them."

"So I gather they dated four years ago?"

Jasper nodded. "I met Em his sophomore year of college. I was tutoring him in his history class. I thought he'd be just another dumb jock but he was so enigmatic and it was easy to like the guy, you know? He was different. So we ended up hanging out and became pretty good friends. He met my sister and I swear the cosmos exploded when they met, because they couldn't keep their hands off each other. They were constantly stuck together, like magnets. It was nauseating at first, but after a while I got used to it since one was never anywhere without the other."

"What happened?" Alice asked, running her fingers through Jasper's sandy blonde curls.

He took a moment to close his eyes and lean into her touch. They really were sweet together.

"Emmett got hurt," he said, opening his eyes and staring at the top of the bar. "He was in the hospital for a week and then in and out of rehab until they told him he'd never play again. It sent him into a real deep depression. And on top of that he had some things going on in his family."

That piqued my interest.

"What things?" I asked.

Jasper looked at me as if he were contemplating something. "I don't think that's my story to tell, Bella. Maybe you should ask Edward."

Well, I wasn't expecting that response, but I nodded and shrugged as if it didn't really matter to me. On the contrary, I was very intrigued, but I knew I couldn't just come out and ask Edward something like that. He'd probably feel like he was bearing his soul just by telling me his pant size tonight.

"Anyway, Emmett lost his scholarship, but his parents offered to pay his tuition so he could stay at U-Dub. It was like all the light just left his eyes, you know? He was a shell of the dude I knew. He was always the life of the party, the guy all the girls wanted to hang on, cracking jokes and just being drunk on life. After his injury, and then things at home, he just decided to quit it all and leave. As you heard, he left rather abruptly, and I'd rather not reflect on the state in which he left Rosalie."

"And in the four years since then, he's never contacted her at all?" Alice asked, a hint of sadness in her voice.

Jasper shook his head. "I think he had a lot to deal with back in Forks, both with his family and personally. He kind of had to redefine himself. He couldn't play football anymore, and that was all he knew how to do. So he needed time to figure out who he would be now that he wasn't that guy anymore. Opening this place did a lot for him, but there are…other areas in his life I think he's still rebuilding."

Jasper took a sip of his beer and stared ahead of him at nothing. Somewhere in my head I heard Forrest Gump say, _"that's all I have to say about that."_

x-x-x-x

I stood outside of the Starbucks and checked my watch; six twelve and no sign of Edward. I began nervously chewing my nails as I paced back and forth, my eyes scanning the parking lot and the crowd approaching the mall.

The enlightening conversation at Spank's still left me a bit uneasy. Hearing a bit about Emmett's recent past produced so many questions for me, mostly about how Edward fit into all of it.

Checking my watch again, I felt myself begin to sweat.

_He's not coming. He's chickening out. I came on too strong. This wasn't a good idea. Emmett's right, I did need to tread carefully._

Through my internal struggle, my eyes focused on a tall figure striding towards the Starbucks from the parking lot, the dark, oily mop of hair blowing every which way in the breeze as he quickly crossed the lot. I sighed in relief.

Edward's eyes were fixed on the green and white Starbucks sign above me as he walked, his hands shoved so deep into his pockets I was surprised they didn't tear through the fabric. He was wearing his signature khaki pants and a navy blue polo shirt under a beige nylon jacket that I think my grandfather used to wear. And on his feet…a pair of pink crusted penny loafers.

My heart nearly burst at the sight of him, and I couldn't help but smile like a dope.

"Hey, Edward!" I said excitedly, because, well, I was just too damn excited to be spending time with Edward somewhere other than behind the pharmacy counter.

He stopped a few steps ahead of me and his eyes darted around at the large crowd of people milling about. I didn't think Port Angeles had this many people. Finally, he looked at me and gave me a small, timid smile.

"Hey," he replied, and as usual, I could barely hear him. Edward was obviously extremely nervous, and I wondered if it was being out with me or being in a crowded mall…or maybe both.

I took a deep breath and decided my frightened animal needed a little push, because I'd be damned if I was going to spend my little "non-date" with Edward standing outside of the Starbucks all night straining to hear the few words he'd speak, all the while wondering when he'd finally be ready to enter the mall.

Mustering up all the courage I could find within myself, I closed the distance between us and grabbed his hand. His eyes widened in surprise and I immediately felt him trembling, but after a minute his hand relaxed in mine and his trembling ceased.

"Shall we?" I asked, nodding my head towards the mall entrance.

He stared at me and pressed his lips into a thin line. Then he took a deep breath, and I realized he was probably having his own internal pep talk.

"Let's go," he said, sounding very determined. I decided not to stand there and ponder his little burst of courage, but rather take full advantage of it as we walked hand-in-hand to the entrance.

Inside, the mall was still pretty crowded, the people walking around the main concourse as if in lanes of traffic. I pretended to window shop a bit, but really I was watching Edward out of the corner of my eye to make sure he wasn't going to have a panic attack or anything. His eyes moved from the people to the floor, then back to the people, then to the floor, then briefly to me.

He never let go of my hand.

Keeping my newfound brazenness at the forefront of my brain, I decided to initiate some conversation.

"So, Edward. Why is it that James can wear jeans behind the pharmacy counter, and Jess and Lauren wear jeans, and hell, even Mary wore jeans…yet you always wear crisp pleated khakis? I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. I think you look good in them…I think you'd look good in anything. But I was just curious."

I kept pretending to look in the shop windows, but could actually see Edward's mouth open and close for a few seconds before he could find the words.

"I…I don't know. I just thought it would be more professional?"

I looked at him and nodded in agreement. "Good point. You know, jeans could be sort of business casual, too, if you pair them with the right things. Do you own a pair of jeans?"

Edward bit his lip and looked down at his feet. "Well, I have one pair that I usually only wear when I'm doing yard work or helping my mom paint a wall or something."

"You only own one pair of jeans? And wear them only to do messy work?"

He gave me a bashful smile and blushed, only shrugging in response.

"Well I think we need to remedy that. Edward, honestly, I think your clothes are just fine. I like the way you dress. But let's face it…we work in a small town pharmacy where everyone has known us since we were kids. I'm all for looking professional, but you can look professional and not so stuffy at the same time."

Edward watched me with a serious expression, as if I were teaching him a lesson, which made me giggle because lessons in fashion from me, of all people, was such a joke.

"You're right," Edward replied, squeezing my hand and pulling us through the concourse.

_Oooh, determined Edward is back. I should instruct him on the importance of making out in dressing rooms next._

"Where do you usually buy your clothes?" I asked, wondering where we should go first. I eyed his shoes and grimaced. Those would definitely be going tonight.

He didn't answer me at first, and I could tell by his expression he was wondering how to respond.

"Hey," I said, shaking his hand. "What is it?"

"Um…I don't know where…my…my mom usually buys my clothes." He said the last part so quietly his lips barely moved.

Okay, so hearing the fact that Edward, a 22-year-old genius with a master's degree, only wore clothes his mommy bought for him didn't shock me as much as I thought it should. I guess somewhere in my mind I almost expected him to answer with that.

"Do you ever buy anything for yourself?"

He shrugged again. "Sometimes I buy certain…things."

"Things?"

He gave me a sheepish look.

"Oh…I see. You mean, like underwear?"

Edward blushed again. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Come on Edward. Say it. Say it, out loud. Underwear. See? It's not that difficult. Underwear! You wear it, I wear it. Everyone wears it. Say the word."

He rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.

I leaned closer to his arm. "Say it!"

"Underwear," he mumbled, still blushing like crazy, but also still smiling.

"Yes!" I exclaimed.

And then Edward laughed, and I turned into a puddle of goo.

We walked into a few stores and I told Edward to look around at some of the racks of shirts and let me know if anything appealed to him. He did so, reluctantly. I knew most men hated to shop, but he had to at least have an opinion about what clothes he wore on his body.

He pulled out a few button down shirts and I joined him, nodding my head in agreement at some and making a few faces at others; he promptly placed those back on the rack. I grabbed the shirts we both liked and took them to the counter. He tried to argue with me about buying them, but I told him I owed him for ruining his other shirt. To which he pointed out it was only _one_ shirt I ruined, and therefore I shouldn't be buying him five shirts. So with a huff, I only purchased the _one_ shirt, while he bought the others.

As the evening went on, I could feel Edward relaxing around me and talking more. I loved the sound of his voice; I had to find a way to record it and sync it to my iPod so I could listen to it every night before going to sleep.

We went into a shoe store where Edward had a field day. I stood in shock as he perused the shelves and found a pair of black canvas shoes he really liked, along with some brown leather oxfords and a pair of black and white Converse…just like mine.

I was so glad to see he didn't pick any footwear that held a special slot for loose change.

Edward seemed almost giddy, although a subdued version of giddy, as we left the shoe store. I'd never seen him like this. It was infectious. He held my hand again and as I saw The Gap come into view, I dragged him towards it, determined to get him a few decent pairs of jeans to do more in than just pull some weeds. I knew he had a nice ass…now I had to get him to flaunt it a bit without knowing he was doing it. Yes, my reasons for trying to convince him to wear jeans to work were purely selfish. I wanted to stare at his denim-clad ass all day. Apparently, I had a thing for guys in jeans, with the exception of James…ew.

I led him to the tables of folded jeans and asked him his pant size.

He blinked at me for a moment and then grinned before he began doing his own digging. After I learned his pant size I pulled a few pairs of jeans along with him and sent him into the dressing room to try them on.

"I'll just wait out here and you can let me know how you're making out, or if you need a different size or something," I called to him.

_Or if you need any help with the button fly._

I stood outside his dressing room door, hearing the rustling of clothes coming from inside and nearly drowning in the drool accumulating in my mouth just from knowing he was sans pants in there. I closed my eyes and tried to picture what his legs looked like. If the rest of his body was any indication, they'd be just as muscular and toned, probably a bit hairy, but not Sasquatch hairy. No, like a fine downy covering of man hair that I could run my nose over and feel a tickle.

I heard the distinct sound of a zipper lowering and immediately felt the ignition within my girly bits, like a Pavlovian response.

And then my mind decided to run away to magical fantasy land, where Edward asked me to come inside the dressing room, needing an opinion on how the jeans looked. He'd back me against the wall and kiss me forcefully, dragging his lips along my chin. In my fantasy, he was shirtless, of course, every defined muscle of his chest, abs and arms still fresh in my mind. His lips met my ear, where he nibbled on my ear lobe a bit.

"_What do you think of these?" he asked, his sultry velvet voice melting like butter in my ear._

_I opened my eyes and stared at the mirrored wall across from us, seeing the ridges of muscle in his bare back rippling with his movement as his arms were spread wide, hands on either side of my head against the wall. _

_My eyes traveled down the expanse of his back to his trim waist and perfect ass, expertly silhouetted in the dark blue denim. My hands then followed the same path until they slid into the back pockets of his jeans and squeezed._

_Edward moaned in my ear and pushed his hips against mine, allowing me to feel just how much he appreciated what I was doing. I watched the mirror, mesmerized by the hypnotic sway of his hips as he moved against me, moaning in my ear, whispering how much he wanted me right then and there…_

"Um…Bella?"

"Jesus!" I hissed, jumping away from the wall. I had been so far gone in my dressing room fantasy that the _real_ Edward's voice startled the hell out of me.

"Uh…yeah, Edward. You okay?" I asked, turning towards the door.

"I'm not sure if…do you think…do you think you could come in here and let me know what you think?" he asked timidly.

My freakin' heart came to a screeching halt and then plummeted to my feet, stone dead.

_Was he reading my mind? _

"Bella?"

I literally couldn't speak for a few seconds. My throat suddenly felt dry and taking in air grew more difficult. I thought I was hyperventilating.

"It's okay, you don't have to…I just didn't want to come out there if there were…um, people…"

_Thank you for that mental slap to my brain, Edward._

"No, of course I can come in. Just open the door," I said, forcing myself to put his issues and insecurities before my libido.

The small white door opened a crack and I slid my way through it, closing the door with my back to Edward. I had to psych myself up before I could turn around and actually look at him.

_Please let him be shirtless. Please let him be shirtless._

Plastering on a mask of sheer nonchalance, I turned around…and tried really hard not to pout like a three year old.

He still had his shirt on.

Edward was looking at me, eyebrows raised behind his glasses, his hair a complete and utter disaster. Seriously, it looked like a crazed animal was perched atop his head. He must have been running his fingers through it something fierce, debating whether or not to ask me to come in here.

And then my eyes traveled down to the jeans he was wearing. They hugged his hips nicely and tapered down his legs in a perfect fit. I tried not to laugh at his navy blue and green argyle socks. He was too damn cute, even if his mother still dressed him.

"They look good," I said, meeting his eyes once again. He visibly relaxed. "How do they feel?"

He glanced down at the pants, then over at himself in the mirror. I had to look in the mirror, too. He did a half turn and in the mirror I caught a full view of the back of him…and cue the drool.

_Fuck if that isn't the most delectable thing I've ever laid eyes on._

"They're actually pretty comfortable."

"Good," I said with a smile, feeling genuinely happy that I had given him a decent suggestion.

He looked back at me, his gaze turning suddenly serious. "Do these suit me better than the khakis?"

I blinked rapidly as my smile fell, and my insides fell with it. I felt like someone had just thrown a bucket of ice water over me.

"Edward, the khakis suited you just fine. There was nothing wrong with the way you dressed."

He cocked an eyebrow at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, so maybe some people might think you looked kind of uptight, but not me. I only suggested you try to dress a bit more casually for work. But it was only a suggestion. Honestly, you can wear whatever _you_ feel comfortable in, not what I tell you you _should_ feel comfortable in. It doesn't bother me either way. I'm not asking you to change who you are. I…I like you…the way you are."

Suddenly feeling nervous, I lowered my eyes to the lint-littered carpet and began gnawing on my lower lip. I felt ashamed of myself for making Edward feel like I wanted him to be someone he wasn't. That was never my intention at all. The guy could wear a trash bag and Christmas lights and I'd still feel this strongly about him.

I caught movement in my peripheral vision and gasped as I felt Edward's large hands on the sides of my face, lifting my head. He didn't stop until I was staring right into his eyes, which were a lot closer than they had ever been. My heart began to palpitate at his proximity.

"I know that, Bella. I wasn't accusing you of trying to change me. I know it's lame that my mother still buys my clothes, and I know I'm not good looking or charismatic or suave in any shape or form, but I never cared about any of that before. I've lived my whole life in self-imposed seclusion because I was an easy target for getting picked on and now I don't know how to be around people. Ever since that day in the pharmacy when you came in sniffling and coughing and looking like hell warmed over I…I can't stop thinking about you. My intentions were purely selfish when I practically demanded Eleazar hire you, only so I could spend each and every day in the same vicinity as you. I told myself that even if you didn't speak to me or look at me, at least I could be _near_ you and that very thought brought such a calm over me…"

His voice trailed off and he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. My eyes were stinging with tears that threatened to spill over. Set aside the fact that I didn't think I'd ever heard Edward speak so much in the gazillion years I'd known him, the words he was speaking were soaking into my very soul. I felt my heart grow bigger and emotions I never thought I had came rushing to the surface.

"Edward…I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, either."

His eyes snapped open and I sunk even deeper into the jade green pools I found there.

"I feel so awful that I barely gave you the time of day growing up. I'm only now realizing how much I missed out on by not allowing myself the chance to know you. My life could have been completely different. I guess I had my own issues. I mean, I never really knew where I fit in. I was always such a plain Jane, and I still am. I basically followed Alice around like a lost puppy that she took in, but our friendship meant the world to me. She and Charlie were all I had. I've spent the past decade of my life walking around in a haze, not knowing where I belonged. But last week, when I saw you and you touched my face…something happened inside me. It was like something sprang to life and my eyes were opened for the very first time to see something I never thought possible for me. It kills me that you were treated so horribly as a kid, and if I could I'd go back in time and kick every one of those punks' asses. But don't let it define who you are, Edward. You don't see yourself clearly at all. Because what I see is a beautiful, intelligent, caring man who makes my heart stop every time he looks at me."

My tears were falling freely now, and as I watched a tear slide down Edward's porcelain cheek, I sobbed even harder. He lifted his thumbs to my cheekbones and smoothed them over the skin, much like he did the first day we saw each other, only this time he was wiping my tears away.

Lowering his forehead to mine, he closed his eyes and exhaled a deep breath. It was warm and smelled so sweet as it washed over my face.

"Can I keep you?" he whispered.

"Only if I can keep you," I whispered back.

His fingers slowly spread wide against my cheeks as I felt him tip my head back ever so gently. My breathing sped in anticipation of what was about to happen. I placed my palms on his chest and felt his heart beating rapidly under my fingertips.

Edward kissed me. Soft, so soft. His lips felt like feathers as they slowly and delicately moved against my own. He held my head still in his hands as his lips claimed mine with such gentility. I felt like I was floating.

And then, something interesting happened. Like a switch being flipped, or a dam breaking, the pressure of his lips on mine deepened and he pulled my face so close to his our noses smashed together. I felt his tongue enter my mouth and I eagerly granted him entrance, sliding my own tongue against his. We both moaned and whimpered as our kisses turned frantic. I had a momentary mental lapse as images of my dressing room fantasy flashed behind my eyes, but I decided the reality was so much better.

The taste of Edward was exquisite. I didn't think I could get enough of him. I would kiss him forever if it were physically possible. He moaned again and the sound shot straight between my legs, causing a throbbing ache that only intensified with each slide of his tongue against mine. I was seconds away from wrapping my leg around his waist.

"Hey!" someone said, banging on the door behind me. I was startled out of my lust-hazed stupor so abruptly that I yelped and my teeth clamped down on Edward's lower lip.

"Ow!" He took a step away from me and rubbed his lip with his finger. When he pulled them away there was a slight trace of blood.

My hands flew to my mouth.

"Oh, shit Edward…I'm so sorry! I bit your lip!"

_Figures Hurricane Bella would step in and ruin this perfect moment somehow._

"Excuse me, but if you don't knock that off you're going to have to leave the store," said the nasally voice from the other side of the door.

Edward blushed and ran his fingers through his hair. I found it completely hilarious and started laughing. He looked at me like I had lost my mind, but after a moment he couldn't help but laugh along with me.

"I'll just let you get changed, then," I said, turning to open the door. "Oh, and Edward, you are definitely getting those jeans."

I slid out of the dressing room to find a pimply teenage boy wearing a black headset glaring at me. I shrugged at him.

"Sorry, he just can't keep his hands off me," I said, shaking my head in mock shame. I heard Edward snicker from inside the dressing room.

A minute later Edward emerged, licking his lower lip, his eyes downcast and three pairs of jeans folded over his arm. The kid still glaring at me glanced at Edward and he raised a single eyebrow.

"Seriously?" he asked. I knew he was indicating that it was completely incomprehensible that I was getting hot and heavy with this geek in the dressing room at The Gap. Edward apparently caught his drift, too.

"I'm going to go pay for these," he mumbled quietly and started to walk away. But I wasn't having that.

I grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him back to me. Raising up on my tiptoes, I sunk my hand into his hair and planted a kiss on his lips worthy of a porn video. When I pulled back, Edward stood frozen in position, his glasses all fogged up and lips still puckered and glistening wet from swapping spit with me. I turned to the little man in his Britney Spears headset and gave him an evil grin.

"This man does things to me you can only hope to see on the twenty second clips of free porn you download every night. So don't stand there and presume to understand my feelings for him or what he does for me sexually because your puny brain can't even comprehend such a force."

The kid blinked at me, his mouth agape. I could see two silver fillings in his back molars.

Turning back to Edward, I found him breathing heavily and his green eyes smoldering down at me.

_Holy hell._

My panties were so moist at that point there was probably no saving them.

Edward grabbed my hand and we quickly made our way to the front of the store where he paid for the jeans. We walked out of The Gap, which was now my new favorite store, and walked several feet before bursting out into hysterics.

"Did you see his face?" I asked as I gasped for air.

"You certainly put the fear of Woman into him," Edward said, wiping his eyes.

It took us a while, but we finally regained our composure. After doing a little more shopping (I found this awesome brown suede coat that I convinced him looked much better than the old man jacket) we stopped at the food court for a bite to eat. It wasn't the most romantic place to eat but it was nearing eight o'clock and we were both famished.

We munched on our grilled chicken salads in comfortable silence, and couldn't seem to keep our eyes off each other. Edward finished before I did, and while I ate he slid his hand over the table top to where mine rested and played with my fingertips. It was such a simple and sweet gesture, and had me completely bursting with joy.

After we ate we decided to call it a night. I had no desire to leave; I wanted to follow him home and sleep curled up at the foot of his bed. But we both had to be at work early in the morning, and then I had to face the daunting task of helping Alice to organize her stuff.

Edward kissed me goodnight after walking me to my truck. While it wasn't anything like the heated kiss we shared in the dressing room, it was just as intense and I had to hold on to the handle of my door to keep from collapsing on weakened knees.

Somewhere in the back of my mind a thought registered. If this was what happened to me when Edward simply kissed me…how would my body react to actually having sex with him? I probably wouldn't survive.

But what a way to go.

**A/N 2**: One more quick thing I have to mention…when I was shopping online at Cole Haan for Edward's shoes I nearly fell of my sofa in laughter as I viewed their entire selection of PENNY LOAFERS (minus the pennies of course). And they were really expensive! Grow men actually wear these things!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Many thanks to my beta, **jennde**, for looking after me and my "bumbling goofs."

**Chapter 8**

I really hated spending time alone, because that was when I was allowed to actually think. Like during the drive home to Forks after my intense and monumental outing with Edward. After I had recovered from the apparent shock I suffered after being kissed by Edward in the dressing room at The Gap, and then once more at my truck, my brain was finally able to process said kissing and come up with a resulting, _what the hell just happened?_

Of course, Emmett's words from earlier on in the evening also melded their way in there, creating even more questions.

_Where had my frightened animal gone?_

I was utterly elated that Edward and I had finally kissed. The past few days at work had been painfully laced with sexual tension, and the feel of his lips on mine was indescribable. The pleasure that spread throughout my entire body was addicting, and I wanted nothing more than to surgically attach my lips to his.

Yet, as I drove through the dark night watching my headlights guide me down the curvy road, I couldn't help but wonder if we had just taken a giant leap in the direction of "moving too fast." On a daily basis, this man was hunched in his little hiding spot, carefully avoiding any and all human contact as much as possible. He never spoke, and when he did it was so quiet my ears strained to hear him. He was usually shaking so badly that I seriously wondered if he needed medication, and if anyone talked directly to him his eyes would widen and I got the impression he stopped breathing.

The word shy didn't even begin to describe Edward. Yet there we were, making out in the dressing room, only to be called out by that pimply-faced cockblocker. And Edward laughed about it. Like full out, belly laughed about it. And it was only now occurring to me that my shy, awkward Edward had been nowhere in sight.

_Should I be worried about this? Should I talk to him about it? Would he want me to bring it up? Did he realize he had acted differently? How many questions could I ask myself before my brain literally exploded? _

Obviously, I needed answers. Obviously, I needed Alice. For once I actually hoped her psychic ability was real and that she knew I needed her to be home.

When I pulled into my driveway and saw her car, I breathed a sigh of relief. Opening the front door, I was immediately met by my intuitive best friend as she looked at me eagerly.

"How did it go? Did you utilize my valuable lessons in fashion and get that boy some decent clothes? And please tell me he got new shoes…"

Her high pitched assault trailed off as she stared at me. And then her blue eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.

"Oh, my god, you kissed him," she exclaimed.

I gasped and threw my hand over my mouth as if to hide the evidence. _How did she do that?_

"What? How did you…"

A devious smile covered her face and she clapped her hands. "I didn't, but you just confirmed my suspicions. Holy shit! You kissed Edward Cullen?"

I sighed and moaned.

"Do you think I could actually get in the house first before talking about this?"

"Yes, we obviously need wine for the telling of these details!" Alice exclaimed, bounding out of the way and toward the kitchen.

I stepped inside and closed the door behind me, taking in the rows of boxes before me.

"Seriously, Al, this place looks like an episode of _Hoarders_. They're going to be bringing dumpsters and finding cat skeletons in here in no time."

"Relax, Bella, I already started unpacking and organizing. By the end of the week you'll be able to see the living room floor again," Alice shouted from the kitchen.

I was able to find my way to the couch, where I plopped down my suddenly fatigued body. Alice appeared in front of me with a glass of red wine.

"Thanks," I said, gratefully taking the glass from her hand. After a few sips I felt my body and mind begin to relax.

"So…let's hear it," Alice said, nudging my shoulder.

I immediately launched into the story of my evening with Edward, ending with the goodbye kiss at my truck. She listened intently without muttering a word. When I finished, I downed the rest of my wine and pleaded with my eyes for some type of guidance.

"I don't see what the problem is," she said, shrugging and sipping from her own glass.

My eyes grew wide at her nonchalance. _Did she not just hear me?_

"You don't see? Alice, Edward is afraid of people and doesn't talk and is so nervous and anxious all the time that he visibly trembles because of it. Yet there we were, in the middle of a dressing room at The Gap, professing feelings and locking lips. You don't see the problem?"

Alice blinked at me.

"The only problem I see is that _you_ see it as a problem," she replied enigmatically.

I wished she was wearing her favorite white lace blouse at that moment so that I could spill her red wine all over it.

"What the fuck does that mean?" I spat, raising my hands in frustration.

"Bella," she said, speaking softly and slowly as if I were a small child about to launch into a major tantrum in the middle of the grocery store. "Edward told you he can't stop thinking about you. He obviously has feelings for you. And I'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind to not notice that you think he's the bee's knees, so what's the problem? He kissed you, you kissed him back, and it sounded like a pretty steamy lip-lock there, I might add. When two people tell each other they have feelings for one another, kissing usually follows."

"But…"

"And it sounds like your little dressing room tryst gave him a small boost of confidence if he was able to laugh off the embarrassment of being caught. I can't be sure, but that sounds like a positive to me."

"How…"

"And finally, how much do you really know about Edward Cullen? I mean, you know he's pretty damn smart, and that he's a pharmacist, and that his mother buys his clothes," she said, cringing as she shook her head in shame. "But you've only been around him for a little over a week. And he hardly talks. So how do you know what he's _really_ like, like on the inside? Maybe he's not as timid and shy as you think. Or maybe it's you. Maybe you just bring out the lust monster that's been buried deep inside of him all these years!" Alice began laughing maniacally, her little body falling backwards into the sofa cushions.

I stared at her with an arched eyebrow.

"Are you finished?" I asked.

She straightened and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Sorry," she mumbled, clearing her throat. "But do you get what I'm saying?"

I sighed and nodded. "Yes, you're right. I don't really know much about him, other than the obvious. But…I don't know, I can't explain it. Because on the other hand, I feel like I _do_ know him. Like I've known him all my life. Well, I mean I _have_ known him all my life, but not…geeze, I'm making absolutely no sense."

I dropped my head into my hands, attempting to clarify my thoughts.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that…Edward and I, I feel this…connection with him. I also see a lot of similarities between us, and I guess I feel like I know him better than I actually do because it's like looking at myself. But when I'm near him…I just…I can't be anywhere else. I want to be with him all the time. And when we're not together, he's constantly in my thoughts. And I sound like a freakin' psycho stalker."

I felt Alice's delicate hand on mine.

"Aw, Bella, no. Don't look negatively at it. That intense connection you feel? That's the most beautiful thing about all of this. It's how you know you've met The One. When you find that one person who in an instant becomes the center of your universe, and all you do is think of ways to be near him again just to feel the warmth radiate from him into you. I know because it's the way I feel about Jasper. That night at the bar when we first met, I knew then that I met my soul mate. I've been waiting my entire life for him. And it sounds like the same thing's happened to you. Edward is your soul mate."

My eyes stung with tears and I gnawed on my bottom lip, trying to keep my emotions at bay.

"But how can Edward be my soul mate? I've known him since the first grade. Wouldn't…I don't know, fate, or whatever, have intervened back then if we were meant to be together? I mean, I barely noticed him in the background all those years, other than to say he was my squeamish lab partner in biology who once upon a time opened a door into my face."

Alice smiled and shrugged. "Perhaps it wasn't time for Edward and Bella back then. Fate was waiting in the wings, watching the two of you plot out your lives before she stepped in and gave you that cold." She winked at me.

I smirked. "_You_ gave me that cold, Alice."

Ignoring me, she stood from the couch and stretched her arms over her head.

"Well, I'm going to hit the sack. Tomorrow I'm going to unpack some more before the girls and I take Sharon out for a farewell dinner. Oh, and exciting news, Rosalie is going to start working for me next weekend. Hey, that was pretty intense, huh? I mean, Emmett and Rosalie?"

Alice's words broke me from my momentary lapse into deconstructing Edward.

"Yeah, what happened after I left?" I asked.

"Well, they were back in Emmett's office for over an hour. Occasionally you'd hear shouting…that Rosalie's got a set of lungs on her. After a while they got quiet and then Rosalie came back out into the bar and sat next to Jasper. She didn't say anything; she only drank her rum and Coke and kind of stared blankly at the wall. I didn't see Emmett again. Jasper kept squeezing her hand and stuff and eventually she loosened up and started talking to us again, but not about Emmett. But she got real enthusiastic talking about working at Glow."

"Wow, I wonder what the deal is there. Jasper was so cryptic explaining why Emmett left school. Do you think Rosalie knows?"

"From what I could tell from the shouting and from what Jasper's told me, yeah, I think she does."

And then my thoughts traveled back to Edward, wondering what really happened to him after high school. He said he went to Dartmouth, fast tracking through the undergraduate program and right into the master's program. Would he talk about it with me? Tonight, before the kiss, he seemed to become more comfortable talking around me. Could I get him to open up to me?

Closing my eyes, I saw his face, those bright green eyes so close, his forehead pressed against mine.

"Can I keep you?" I whispered.

Alice looked over at me. "What?"

I smiled. "That's what he asked me. 'Can I keep you?'"

Her bottom lip protruded a little as her head tilted to the side.

"Awwww! That is the sweetest thing I think I've ever heard," she cried, her hands covering her mouth.

~~DYDM~~

The next morning my stomach was a barrel of nerves, and not just because I'd be facing Edward again for the first time since kissing him goodbye last night. It was also my first day without Mary. I'd be manning the pharmacy counter alone while Edward hid in the shelves behind me.

Pulling into the parking lot, a thrill shot through me at seeing Edward's Volvo, the only other car there. My palms began to sweat as I had a minor panic attack at the thought of seeing him.

_How should I act toward him? Should we talk about it? Should I act like it's no big deal? _

_Ugh!_ I had to stop with the barrage of internal questions, thinking somebody might actually answer me back.

I also had to suck it up because I had a job to do.

Taking a deep breath, I climbed out of my truck and headed toward the back of the store. I stood in front of the big metal door for a few minutes, gathering my courage and telling my brain, which was still spouting out Edward questions, to shut the hell up.

"You gotta go in eventually, Bella," I said to myself before taking another deep breath, or two or three.

Grabbing the handle, I pulled the door open and stepped into the back room…and was immediately met with the sight of Edward leaning down into his locker…wearing jeans.

I sucked in a breath at the same time the door slammed shut behind me, causing Edward to jump and straighten up. He spun around, eyes wide, hands flailing about before realizing it was me. His exhale was loud as his trembling fingers went right for his hair, pulling at the roots before releasing.

While he had his mini-freak out, I took the opportunity to let my eyes roam over the rest of him. Along with the jeans he wore a cranberry colored button down shirt with a white t-shirt underneath. The shirt was tucked into the jeans and he wore a dark brown belt and his new brown oxfords. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and I felt myself begin to salivate as I stared at his forearms, all muscle and sinew and yummy, manly goodness.

_Would he mind if I gnawed on his arms for a minute? Nah, he wouldn't mind…right?_

"Bella," he said, his voice ripping me from yet another lust induced haze.

_I really must remember not to operate heavy machinery while in the presence of Edward. He needs to come with a warning label._

"Hi," I replied, smiling at him.

And then it was there…with a force. That energy that always seemed to electrify the air around us whenever we were together surged between us, and it was as if I was being pulled to him, and him to me.

Before I could even comprehend what was happening, his arms were around me and my hands were in his hair, gripping it in clumps as our lips met in a frenzy. His tongue was in my mouth and I had no idea how shy and awkward this boy could actually be when he could kiss like this. He was practically an expert at it, and a pang of jealousy shot through me at the thought of him kissing other women like this.

_Mine_.

As that primal, cavewoman thought ran through my head, I physically responded by pressing my body tighter against him and hitching my leg up around his hip. Edward groaned and backed me up until I was pressed against the lockers.

His glasses were digging into my face and it was beginning to bother me so I pulled them up and rested them on top of his head while I continued to assault his mouth. I felt his hands press against my back, bringing me closer to him, if that was possible. At the same time I felt something else digging into my hip, and having the actual physical evidence of just how much I affected Edward pressed against me did strange and unusual things to me. I was so fucking turned on that it took every last shred of sanity left in me at that moment not to start grinding against him like a stripper pole. What was even hotter was the fact that he didn't seem the least bit ashamed about his evident arousal. I whimpered as I began to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen, but I didn't want to stop kissing him…_never_ wanted to stop kissing him.

As if he could tell I needed to breathe, his lips left mine and trailed down my jaw to my neck and holy hell if that didn't feel fucking incredible!

My hands moved to his shoulders, pulling at him as he peppered my neck with kisses. At one point I felt his tongue lap at my jugular vein before his lips moved back up my neck and around my jaw line.

He pulled away and looked at me, panting and flushed, and I nearly fainted at what I saw. Edward…without glasses. And when I had pushed his glasses up on top of his head, it held back the hair away from his face. I could see him.

My beautiful boy.

I could always tell he had good bone structure, but now I was staring at all his chiseled perfection. And staring right back at me with the most intense look I had ever seen were his emerald eyes, unobstructed by glasses and messy hair. _So beautiful. _

My hands moved on their own as my fingers traced along his face reverently, memorizing every feature. I let the tips of my fingers dance softly around his eyes and then over his cheekbones, down to his swollen red lips. He was still panting heavily, his chest pressed so tightly against mine that we were breathing in tandem.

I was lost in him.

Every molecule within me wanted to fuse with every one of his. He was like air to me. I needed him so much.

Any lingering doubt I had about what was happening between us was quickly squashed as he held me there against the lockers, my leg still wrapped around his waist, his hands pressing me tightly to him.

"You look like an amorphous blob to me," Edward said.

_Who in the what now?_

"Ummm…thanks?" I replied, wanting so much to believe he didn't actually just say what I thought I heard him say.

He laughed and raised his hand to his head, pulling his glasses back down over his eyes. Seeing him back in glasses only added to the desire coursing through me.

"There, that's better," he said, almost whispering. "There you are." He ran his hands over my face, his fingertips pressing into the bones right under my eyes. I was quickly realizing how much he liked doing that to me; maybe because it was how we met? Or met again…whatever.

"Blind as a bat, huh?" I said, grinning at him as I ran my hands through his tousled hair.

"Just about."

His right hand moved from my face to my leg, wrapping around my thigh at his hip. I felt a pulse surge through my thigh muscle as the warmth of his hand seeped through my skin.

"I missed you," he said quietly, his eyes still burning into mine.

"I missed you, too," I said, not even thinking. I didn't need to. It was the truth.

"I think I've become…addicted to you," Edward said, skimming his nose along my cheek. I closed my eyes involuntarily, deeply inhaling the scent of him.

"So, what, I'm like a drug to you? It's a good thing you're a pharmacist and know how to handle your medications."

He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Yes, that's a _very_ good thing," he whispered against my lips.

And now my insides were complete mush and my muscles jello. If Edward hadn't been holding me against those lockers I surely would have been boneless on the floor.

I guess one of us had to be the voice of reason here, and it certainly wasn't me since my reason was currently down there humping Edward's jean-clad leg.

"You should clock in. It's almost nine o'clock," Edward said.

I sighed and he kissed me once more before we untangled ourselves. I straightened my clothes and threw my purse and coat in my locker as Edward pulled on his lab coat and attempted to discreetly adjust himself. We kept smiling at each other like dopey teenagers the entire time.

Until the back door opened and Jessica walked in. Edward stepped away from me and lowered his eyes, closing his locker door and hastening his way out of the room and into the store. Jess shook her head and rolled her eyes as she took off her coat.

"What a weirdo, huh?" she asked, hanging her coat in her locker.

I glared at her and her eyes widened in alarm, obviously remembering the last time she insulted Edward in front of me.

"Nevermind," she mumbled, closing her locker and heading out into the store.

_Damn right, bitch. That's my man_.

I smiled evilly to myself as I pictured bashing Jessica's cosmetic-caked face in with a baseball bat, preferably in the middle of the work day. Perhaps we could offer it as a little entertainment for the customers.

_Work? Customers? Shit!_

I ran to the time clock and pushed my card through the slot, listening for the punch of the time stamp. Opening the door, I stepped out into the store and faced the pharmacy counter.

Stepping behind the counter, I ran my fingertips along the surface before reaching over and powering up the computers. A strange feeling washed over me as I listened to the machines come to life. My eyes scanned the various supplies beneath the counter – paper, the stapler, pens, the phone…all neatly organized the way Mary liked them.

Only Mary wasn't here anymore. Smiling to myself, I rearranged a few supplies to my liking and forced myself not to do a little dance right there on top of the counter.

For the next six hours I was queen of this domain. I was responsible for running this ship now…okay, well maybe not running it as much as 'aiding' it, but still, it was just me back here. And him.

A throat cleared behind me and I spun around to find Edward smirking at me. I glared at him playfully before stepping up behind the partition, entering his space.

"You have something you need to say, Mr. Cullen?"

His breath hitched and his eyes grew noticeably darker, but I kept my distance. He shook his head and smiled at me. _I love riling him up._

"So it's just you and me from here on out," I said, returning his smile. I wanted the meaning of those words to extend far beyond work.

"Finally," he replied quietly.

Just then, the phone rang and we got to work. The day moved pretty quickly and we actually had a good number of customers back at the pharmacy. It was Sunday, after all; I guess people typically used their free time on the weekends to run errands like refilling prescriptions. Once again, I recognized a lot of the customers and made idle chit chat throughout the day. There was always someone in the waiting area so I never really had a chance to go back and talk to Edward or just gaze at him like a lovesick puppy dog; however, my senses were so tuned to him that I could hear him diligently working, filling prescriptions and tossing them on the pass through. I could also feel his eyes on me at times because the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up and my arms would break out in goosebumps. The constant energy between us never relented; if anything, it intensified.

Finally, I had a customer that actually had a question about her new prescription interacting with something else she was taking and I was "forced" to go back and ask the pharmacist.

"Hey, Edward, Mrs. Lyle needs to know if this will have any interaction problems with her arthritis medication," I said, speaking loudly as I stepped behind the partition.

Edward looked up at me from his pill counting as I handed him the scrip. He let out a loud exhale as he reached for the scrip.

What he did next caught me completely by surprise.

Instead of taking the scrip, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his side. He was perched on his stool so his head was at eye level with my chest. Without hesitation, he laid his head against my chest and inhaled deeply before exhaling. I felt his hot breath seep through the cotton of my shirt and into my skin, sending a shiver through my body. His hands wrapped around my waist, squeezing my hips as he turned his head and just held me to him. I ran my fingers slowly through his hair, feeling the need to comfort him for some reason.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked in a whisper, not wanting to alert the customer as to what was going on back here. Thank god no one could see us, although I was sure if we had been visible Edward wouldn't have grabbed me in the first place.

_Thank you to whoever designed this pharmacy station_.

Edward didn't answer at first; he just kept squeezing my hips rhythmically as his breathing evened out. I continued to comb my fingers through his messy hair before wrapping my arms around his shoulders and laying a brief kiss to the top of his head.

"I'm sorry, it's just…" he whispered, but stopped himself.

"What is it? You can tell me, Edward," I encouraged him.

He sighed and turned his head, burrowing his face into my chest. Had I not been a bit concerned about what was going on with him in that moment, I would have been completely coming undone about the fact that he essentially had his face in my boobs.

"It's a bit…difficult…having you so close, yet not being able to…touch you," he said, squeezing his eyes shut as he rested his face against my chest.

I think my heart and my libido both swelled in size. And yet I completely understood what he was saying.

"I know what you mean," I said, smiling down at him. He turned those green eyes up at me and for a second he reminded me of that little boy staring up at me from that bathroom stall, standing in a puddle of his own urine, those same eyes pleading with me to help him. He looked so vulnerable and so uncertain, and as I did back then in the second grade, I let him know that I was there with him; that he was not alone.

"I feel the same way, Edward. We'll just have to make up for it later," I said, winking at him. His pouty lips turned up into a smile.

"Bella?"

The sound of my name startled me. I raised up on my tip toes and caught Mrs. Lyle's eye.

"Yes, just one more moment, Mrs. Lyle. Edward's just finishing up something else."

Edward sighed and pulled away from me, and I suddenly felt cold. But I was immediately put at ease when I realized I still had the smell of him in my shirt, and it was currently surrounding me. Edward took the scrip from my hand and looked at it, then typed something in his computer.

"No, she should be fine as long as she takes the prescribed dosage," he murmured to me before moving to fill the prescription.

When he finished I brought it back to Mrs. Lyle and relayed Edward's response. She thanked me and paid for the medicine before turning to leave the store.

After that the bustle seemed to die down, and my bladder began protesting the large coffee and two bottles of water I had consumed in the past three hours. Since there weren't any customers at the moment, I decided to seize the opportunity.

Peeking my head around the corner, I told Edward I was just running to the bathroom. He nodded and waved to me with a longing look in his eyes, which I found amusing since I was only running in the back to pee, yet he was acting like I would be gone for hours.

After taking care of business, I washed my hands in the sink and checked my reflection in the mirror. I was a little taken aback to notice an actual difference in my appearance. My skin wasn't as pale, my face not so withdrawn, and my brown eyes, which I usually thought were so dull, looked almost brighter. I looked…happy.

_Oh, hell, who am I kidding? I'm on Cloud freakin' Nine! There should be rainbows coming out of my ass and music when I walk, I'm so happy._

Giggling to myself at that mental image, I walked out of the bathroom and back into the store.

I was not prepared for what I walked in on.

I heard the commotion before seeing it. A man, shouting loudly, and using so many profanities that Chris Rock was sure to cringe in bad taste.

But when my eyes finally assessed the situation, I wanted to throw up.

A man I'd recognize anywhere, Mr. Peter Crowley, Tyler Crowley's father, was standing in front of the pharmacy counter waving his hands in the air as he ranted about insurance and paying out of pocket or something. I didn't quite get it all because my attention was focused on Edward, who was standing on the other side of the counter and looking like he was about to have a nervous breakdown.

He was trembling so badly and I could see the sweat dripping from his hair from here. His hands were gripping the sides of his lab coat, and I noticed his chest rising and falling rapidly with his breathing as he appeared to be the focus of Mr. Crowley's screaming.

This was not good.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

**A/N**: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Trayce (monamour) who was not only my first fan, but just may be the bravest person I've ever made acquaintances with. Get well soon, sweets!

**Chapter 9**

This could go one of two ways. One, I could be the consummate professional and inquire as to why the customer seemed so displeased with our service; or two, Mama Bear could emerge and beat Peter Crowley into a bloody pulp for sending my Edward into mega-trembly mode.

As I watched the scene unfold before me, I couldn't help but feel the waves of anxiety rolling off of Edward, and it nearly brought me to my knees. His shaky hand compulsively pushed his glasses up his nose while his other hand gripped his hair so tightly it looked almost painful. Edward was trying to talk, but all that came out were stutters and hoarse whispers.

Everything in me wanted to go Mama Bear on Crowley's ass and claw him to pieces before wrapping my arms so tight around Edward he'd have no choice but to stop shaking. Miraculously, however, a wee bit of logic wormed its way into my brain and managed to override my emotions temporarily so I could get a handle on this situation, as all eyes in the store were now trained on the pharmacy counter. I had to be professional about this, no matter how much I wanted to protect Edward.

I stepped up behind the counter and walked briskly to Edward's side. Crowley was still yelling, his face varying between shades of red and purple as he waved a piece of paper in the air in front of him. I looked at Edward quickly and he met my eyes with something that looked like desperation and helplessness, the sweat on his forehead beading and running down his temples. My heart clenched as I turned to face Crowley. I stepped in front of Edward and reached behind me, clasping his hand in mine. He gripped me back tightly; thankfully the counter was too high for anyone else to notice this.

"What seems to be the problem, Mr. Crowley?" I asked in a voice so saccharine-sweet it should've given him a toothache.

Crowley actually growled as his face turned a darker purple and a large vein bulged from his forehead. Edward's hand was so tight on mine I feared I may lose circulation, but it would've been worth it.

"What the fuck business is it of yours?" he spat at me, catching me completely off guard.

_Be professional, Bella. This is your job._

I gritted me teeth and smiled.

"There's no need to shout, Mr. Crowley, or use such language as there are other customers in the store and we'd appreciate it if you calmed down. I'm sure we can work out whatever problem you're having," I said, blinking slowly as I managed to rein in my rage.

"This prick here is telling me I have to pay the full amount for my pills, like I just happen to have one hundred and fifty dollars lying around," Crowley explained, still shouting.

"Do you have insurance?" I asked, giving the most obvious explanation. He looked at me like I just sprouted a third limb.

"Of course I have fucking insurance," he snarled. "This fucker here is trying to tell me I don't, and by trying I mean he mumbles 'no insurance' to me and hands me back my prescription. I fucking need these pills, Cullen. So do your damn job and fill the meds, asshole." Crowley tossed the paper on top of the counter.

"All right," I said, acknowledging him calmly and trying my damndest to turn a deaf ear to his insults toward Edward. Turning around, keeping Edward's hand secretly clasped in my own under the counter, I began to rub circles in his palm with my thumb as I willed him with my eyes to relax.

Edward looked between me and Crowley before his eyes finally settled on mine, and I watched him breathe with me for a moment.

"Edward, is there a better explanation you can offer Mr. Crowley?" I asked gently after I noticed he had calmed somewhat. I nodded at him subtly and smiled, letting him know without words that he could do this…that I was here with him.

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, giving me a small nod in return before turning his gaze back to Crowley.

"Mr. Crowley," he said quietly, his voice cracking at the end. "The computer said you had no coverage…"

"That's horseshit, Cullen. I told you already I had insurance. Fucking computers don't know shit!" Crowley yelled, causing not only Edward to fly three feet backwards, but me as well.

I only held Edward's hand tighter.

"Mr. Crowley," I said, forcefully this time because this shit was beyond out of control and I wouldn't stand for any more attacks against Edward. "Let Edward finish explaining…please."

Crowley released an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes. He cocked his head to the side and stared at Edward expectantly.

Edward cleared his throat again.

"So I called the insurance company and they confirmed that your coverage lapsed two weeks ago," he finished. "I can still fill the prescription but you will have to pay out of pocket…I'm sorry."

"No. No, no. no," Crowley said, shaking his head. "They told me I had three goddamn months of coverage after I got laid off. I still have a week left."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Crowley, but you should probably call your insurance company and discuss this with them. Our hands are kind of tied here…" I began to say, hoping Edward's explanation would sink in and he'd get the hell out of here.

Instead Crowley picked up my little stapler that I had kept right next to my register and threw it across the counter in anger. It hit the partition to the side of Edward, causing my frightened animal to scurry away with his shoulders hunched in fear. Interestingly enough, he managed to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me with him, as if he were protecting _me_.

I was no damsel in distress, however. I was pissed.

"Hey!" I shouted, stepping away from Edward and staring Crowley down with every ounce of anger that had been building inside of me since I stepped through the door. "You have stepped over the line there, Crowley. I am the police chief's daughter and I know assault when I see it, and you, sir, are dangerously close to spending the night in a jail cell. All I have to do is make one phone call, asshole. Now we understand you have yourself a problem, but there's nothing we can do for you here unless you want to fork over the cash for your meds. Otherwise, I suggest you leave – quietly – and go home to call your insurance company. Understood?"

I was met with complete silence and an audience of stunned patrons. My little tirade had me so worked up that I was nearly panting from the exertion of putting this asshole in his place. Crowley sneered at me before grabbing his paper off the counter and storming out of the store. I followed him with my eyes, making sure he didn't inflict any more damage as he angrily stomped away. When the doors closed behind him, I released the breath I had been holding. My hands splayed against the cool counter top and I slouched forward, trying to rid my body of the tension.

I vaguely noticed the other customers begin to move again, weaving their way back into the aisles.

_Yeah, show's over folks._

My thoughts immediately turned to Edward. I gasped and spun around, only to find myself alone in the pharmacy.

My heart seized in panic. Grabbing the phone, I pushed the intercom button for the front counter.

"Jess, watch the pharmacy counter for me, I'll be right back," I said frantically, not even giving her a chance to respond before I hung up and ran for the back door.

Edward wasn't in the locker room, and the bathroom door was wide open.

_Where did he go? Did he leave?_

I pushed open the back door and ran to the parking lot. His silver Volvo was still parked beside my truck, and I sighed in relief.

I scanned the lot for any sign of him, but found none. My eyes darted across the street and toward the corner of the block to see if he was walking around, but no luck.

Worry began to creep down my spine, and my hands automatically went to grip my hair in a very Edward-like manner. _Where was he?_

I ran back towards the door to grab my cell and call him when I suddenly heard a noise from the back of the building. I stopped and took a step in that direction. The noise came again, and I recognized it as sniffling. My steps quickened as I rounded the corner of the building. Two large green dumpsters stood in my path, and even though the smell wasn't so pleasant,I kept moving cautiously toward the sound of someone crying.

I found Edward crouched on the ground between the two dumpsters. He was crying and panting heavily, yet his face looked angry as his severely trembling hands attempted to open a prescription bottle.

"Edward, sweetie, are you all right?" I asked, kneeling down in front of him. I reached out my hands toward him instinctively, but held back, afraid to frighten him.

He shook his head in response, his breathing coming in short gasps and his eyes wide in panic. The bottle fell from his hands and he groaned, grabbing his hair in his fists.

I picked up the bottle that had landed in front of me and twisted the cap off before handing it back to him. He took it from me and shook one pill from the bottle, dry swallowing it quickly. I recapped the bottle for him and placed it on the ground beside him before taking his hands in mine.

"Shhh, baby…calm down. It's all right. It's over now. Slow your breathing, Edward. You're going to hyperventilate." I tried to talk him down from his panic attack, but it didn't seem to be working.

Running out of ideas, I quickly placed his palm to my chest and flattened my hand over his. Gripping his fingers, I tapped his hand twice over my heart.

"Feel that, baby. Feel my heart beating under your hand. Focus on my heartbeat. Focus only on that."

I kept tapping his fingers in time with my heartbeat, holding his gaze in my own. He held his hand against my chest and soon he was tapping his own fingers beneath my hand.

"That's it. Relax. Deep breaths."

Eventually, his breathing evened out and after a moment, he lowered his hand and his eyes to the ground. He looked so defeated and sad. It upset me deeply seeing him like this.

After what seemed like an eternity of watching Edward stare at the pavement, sniffling and wiping his tears from behind his glasses, I couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Oh, Edward," I whispered. "Don't get upset over that asshole. He isn't worth it."

Edward looked up at me, his eyes swollen and red, and it felt as if someone had plunged a knife deep into my chest cavity.

He shook his head.

"I'm so weak," he whispered, his throat sounding thick from crying.

"No," I replied adamantly. "I refuse to listen to you beat yourself up over this. Peter Crowley is a monumental dickhead, and he can burn in hell for all I care. He had no right to yell at you, at _me_…we did nothing wrong in there."

"I couldn't even stand up for myself," he said, closing his eyes and shaking his head again.

"Edward, we're at work. We shouldn't expect to have to deal with people like that here. I'm sure you've never had a customer scream at you like that. You're a pharmacist, not an orderly in a mental institution. We shuffle prescriptions here. Nowhere in my job description does it say 'must talk irate customers down from ledge' or 'must accept verbal and physical abuse from assholes with no insurance'."

He sighed and took one final swipe under his glasses. He looked so dejected and small, and I hated seeing him like this.

Edward shifted and stretched his long legs out in front of him, and I seized the opportunity. After he seemed comfortable, I straddled his lap, one knee on either side of his hips, and gripped his head in my hands. He stared up at me wide-eyed.

"Good, now that I have your attention, you better listen to me, and listen to me good, Mr. Cullen," I said. "You are not weak. I know you've dealt with a hell of a lot worse than that in your life and yet here you are, fast-tracking through undergrad at Dartmouth, no less, and getting a master's degree on top of that. You are the smartest man I know, not to mention the kindest and sweetest, and I want to shout it from the rooftops that you are my guy. So don't let just another bully kick you down because you're so much better than him, and stronger…in here…and here," I stressed, placing my hands on his head and his heart.

Edward stared at me with a look of complete awe, his jaw hanging open slightly as he listened to my rant. When I finished, the corner of his mouth turned up in a slight smile.

"I'm…I'm your guy?" he asked in a whisper.

I twirled his hair around my fingers and smiled back at him.

"I told you that you could only keep me if I could keep you. Therefore, you're mine."

His smile widened. "Well, if that's the case, then you must be mine."

I giggled and nodded. "Yes, I am yours, Edward."

Before I could blink, Edward had his large hands wrapped around my skull and was kissing me senseless. We were frantically attacking each other's faces until it turned into something a little…different. Our kisses slowed, but deepened, as Edward's full lips moved sensuously against my own. I darted the tip of my tongue out and traced it against his lower lip, causing Edward to sigh and open his mouth, tangling his tongue with my own.

His hands moved from my face to my shoulders, kneading the muscles there for a second before traveling down my back slowly, leaving a trail of tingles in their wake. I very quickly began to lose my mind once his hands landed on my hips and pulled me closer to him. Suddenly, I was gripping his shirt and pulling him impossibly closer to me as we devoured each other. I shifted myself on my knees until I was firmly planted in his lap, and when I felt his hardness rub up against me I let out a very loud moan and didn't even have the decency to be embarrassed about it.

Edward's grip on my hips tightened and he pulled me down tighter against him again. I rolled my hips, effectively grinding myself down on him and he pulled his lips away from me brusquely.

His verdant green eyes glowed at me from behind his glasses after the steam had cleared from the lenses.

"Bella," he whispered hoarsely between panting breaths. "I want…you make me feel…"

Feeling beyond turned on at this point, and a little bit brazen, I rolled my hips once more as my eyes damn near rolled back in my head at the feel of him hard and ready between my legs, and I was suddenly wishing all this damn denim wasn't between us.

"Jesus Christ, Bella," Edward growled. Yes, he growled and if my panties weren't already wet from our sudden and intense make out session, they were damn near flooded after hearing that.

_Hmmm…Horny Edward growls and swears. Must explore that further._

"Bella? Edward? Where the hell are you?" Jessica's nasally and extremely pissed off voice startled us back to reality, and it was then I realized we had been dry humping in between two smelly dumpsters behind the store.

_Classy, Bella. Why don't you just offer him a blow job for twenty bucks and then get back to your corner before your pimp notices you've been away too long_?

Luckily Jess didn't spot us, but we were privy to her cursing our names before she slammed the back door shut behind her.

"Guess we should get back to work," I said, smiling at him mischievously.

Edward continued to stare at me like I had just sprouted wings and a halo or something because he didn't seem capable of closing his mouth. I was seriously worried flies were going to start flying in and out of it. Placing a finger under his jaw, I pushed upward gently, effectively closing his trap.

"You okay there, tiger?" I giggled at him.

"What?" he asked, blinking slowly. Man, were my lips laced with something? It was like he was in a trance.

"Did I kiss you senseless? Snap out of it! Come on, let's get back in before they send out a search party."

Edward smiled and broke out of his little love cloud. I begrudgingly climbed off his lap and helped him to stand up, but not before I noticed him take the prescription bottle from the ground and slide it into his pocket.

I looked at him, arching an eyebrow in question.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"They're anti-anxiety meds. I only take them when I feel like I really can't get control," he explained, looking rather sheepish.

I took his hand and raised up on my tiptoes, kissing him once on his swollen lips.

"As long as they help, then you have nothing to be ashamed of."

His eyes softened as they stared back at me, a look of something I'd never seen before flash across them before he smiled and looked down at his feet.

"Now come on, these dumpsters really smell rancid and I may very well toss my cookies if we stay out here any longer," I said, dragging him towards the door by the hand.

After we stepped inside, Edward stopped me.

"Will you…will you come with me somewhere after work?" he asked. "I want to, um…I want to show you something."

"Yes," I replied instantly, not even caring if I had standing plans, which I didn't, but I could have been scheduled to interview the Pope and would have totally blown it off to go wherever Edward wanted to take me.

Thankfully, the remainder of the day was relatively quiet. At three o'clock, Kate and James arrived to replace us and I, of course, had to fill them in on the excitement with Peter Crowley. Kate was visibly upset that I had to deal with the asshole, and I didn't miss the smirk James attempted to hide behind his hand, most likely at Edward's expense. Even though I didn't fill them in on Edward's meltdown, I had a feeling James knew how Edward responded to the situation. And he was laughing about it. Mama Bear angrily paced within me, but I held her at bay, wanting too badly to get the hell out of there and off to wherever Edward was taking me. So I said a quick goodbye and practically skipped out to the parking lot as Edward chuckled quietly at my side.

"You can ride with me, I'll bring you back later for your truck," he said, opening his passenger door.

"Why thank you, kind sir," I said, winking at him as I slid in the seat. Edward closed the door, a wide grin plastered on his face as he got in the car and started the engine.

"So where are you taking me?" I asked.

He bit his lower lip as he looked over at me, a light dancing in his eyes as he pushed his glasses up his nose. I was mesmerized.

"It's kind of a surprise," he replied.

I smiled at him in response, my entire body alight with excitement at another opportunity to spend time with Edward outside of work. A thought occurred to me then. Edward and I had yet to really talk about what was going on between us. It just seemed to be happening naturally and we were just kind of going with the flow. I certainly wasn't complaining, and all my anxieties from the night before had already dissipated after Edward's good morning kiss earlier. I could just keep letting things go as they were, but a part of me wanted to know what Edward was thinking about all this, and more so how he saw me. Was I his girlfriend? Did he want to label us as a couple?

We definitely needed to talk…preferably after another intense make-out session.

Edward drove us through the streets of Forks. I pointed out my house to him, letting him know emphatically that he was welcome any time. He, of course, knew where I lived, as did everyone else in Forks, another product of small town life and being related to the Chief of Police. However, he expressed his gratitude at my open-ended invitation and assured me he'd be taking me up on it.

Twenty minutes later we were still driving and had reached the outskirts of town. There was more forest and fewer houses out this way, so I was surprised when Edward flipped on his turn signal and made a left onto a narrow road I would have barely noticed had it not been for the white mailbox at the side. The road curved around several times before straightening out, and that's when I noticed we were approaching a large house.

"Edward, where are we?"

"My house."

My head whipped around so fast I was surprised I didn't pull a muscle.

"Your house? You live here?" I asked, my wide eyes taking in the spacious house before me.

He cleared his throat as he brought the car to a stop.

"Well, it's my parents' house," he explained quietly.

"I thought your parents lived in Brenton Point."

"They did until they had this house built a few years ago. They liked the privacy."

My eyes scanned the house. "Then why did they build a house with glass walls if they preferred privacy?"

He snickered. "I asked my mother the same question. She said 'with all this natural beauty surrounding us, why wouldn't I want to feel like I was living in the trees?'. She also said the green of the forest reminded her of my father's eyes, and my own," he added, shrugging his shoulders.

I turned and looked at him, and our eyes met. "Yeah, I can't disagree with her there."

Edward blushed and looked down at his hands, his grin wide and dopey. It was infectious.

I giggled. "Come on, Cullen. I'm still waiting for this surprise."

He quickly exited the car and was opening my door before I had a chance to reach for the handle. Offering me his hand, I took it eagerly, lacing my fingers between his. We began to move towards the house and as my eyes met the front door, a sudden fear gripped me.

_Holy shit, am I about to meet his parents?_

The Cullens were certainly no strangers to me. I had technically known them both since I was a kid. Dr. Cullen was my family doctor, after all, and Mrs. Cullen had always been a classroom mom when we were in elementary school. Most recently, I had seen them at Charlie's funeral, their faces and embraces filled with compassion and warmth. They were the epitome of loving parents; I sometimes wondered if Esme Cullen knew the hell her son endured in the halls at school growing up. I can't imagine she would allow such horrible things to happen to her little boy.

Here and now, however, I was about to greet the Cullens as the young woman who was just grinding wantonly on their genius son's lap surrounded by drugstore garbage. My feet refused to move.

"Bella?" Edward questioned, looking back at me once he realized I stopped walking. Our hands were still tightly clasped.

"Are…are your parents home?" Even I could hear the quiver in my voice.

"My mother is home; I am not sure if my father is helping out at the clinic today. Why?" he asked, tilting his head to the side a bit to analyze my body language.

"Um…it's just…I wasn't…I didn't realize we were at this stage of our relationship," I said, letting out a nervous giggle.

"What stage is that?" he asked, looking completely perplexed.

I scoffed. "You know, the whole 'meeting the parents' stage."

His thick eyebrows were so furrowed in confusion that he was beginning to resemble a Muppet.

"But you've already met my parents. My father has been your doctor since you were a child."

_Yes, just lay it out nice and simple there, Edward._

"I know, it's just…" I sighed, trying desperately to think of a way to explain myself.

Edward stepped closer to me and placed his hands on my cheeks. He looked so intently into my eyes that I nearly forgot why I was feeling so worried.

"Bella, you have to explain these things to me. I've never…I don't have much experience when it comes to being in a relationship with a woman, so I'm kind of walking blindly here." His voice was so quiet and his eyes shifted downwards, a clear sign of shame and embarrassment, both of which were unfounded.

My hands were on his face, mirroring his own stance.

"Hey, trust me when I say that while I may have been in a relationship before, if that's what it can even be called, this is the first relationship I actually feel a part of, if that makes sense. With you I feel like I can be myself and not the idea of who the perfect girlfriend should be. You want me for me, just like I want you for who you really are, Edward. And this is all new for me, too. I'm just as blind."

Edward smiled at me and it warmed my heart.

"Typically in a relationship, when you introduce your significant other to your parents, you're more or less saying you're serious enough about that person to want to pull them into your family. And for the significant other, it's a very nerve wracking experience." I exhaled deeply.

"But you've already met…"

"I know," I said, silencing him with my finger to his lips. "But I've never met them as your…girlfriend, Edward."

Something shifted in Edward's eyes and then suddenly I was wrapped tightly in his arms. His face was buried in my neck, his rapid breaths drenching my skin in heat. Raising his head, his lips brushed my ear gently.

"I love hearing you call yourself that, even though the term girlfriend sounds so banal and mediocre for what you truly are to me," he whispered. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you."

I couldn't stop my body's natural physical response to Edward expressing his feelings for me as I melted into his embrace, my arms wrapped so tightly around his torso I could practically grip my own elbows.

We stood there for a while in his driveway, embracing each other like our lives depended on it. All too soon, Edward was pulling away from me.

"I know my parents already think very highly of you, Bella, so you have nothing to fear," he said, running his hand through my hair as he looked at me adoringly. I'm sure I was looking at him exactly the same way.

"Okay," I whispered, giving him a genuine smile.

Edward opened the front door and we were immediately met by Dr. Cullen descending the large wooden staircase.

"Edward…and…is that Bella Swan?" he asked, his eyes the size of satellite dishes as he stared hard at our joined hands.

"Hi, Dad. Um…yes, this is Bella," Edward replied, squeezing my hand.

"Hello again, Dr. Cullen," I said, offering a small wave. I could feel my cheeks warming with my blush.

_Geeze, that man only gets hotter every time I see him. Seriously, it's like he doesn't age_.

I immediately pulled myself away from that line of inappropriate thinking and focused on Dr. Cullen's face. His eyes were darting between Edward, me and our hands so quickly that I had to stifle a laugh. That and the fact that he had yet to say anything else was proof enough for me that he was beyond stunned at seeing his son holding a girl's hand.

A little part of me reveled in the fact that I was the first girl that Edward ever brought home.

"Um…Dad?" Edward asked, clearing his throat.

"Oh, right…sorry. How are you Bella? I apologize, I'm just…sort of surprised to see you here…with Edward," Dr. Cullen said, running his hand through his thick blonde hair.

_Ah, so that's where Edward picked up that little trait._

"It's okay," I said, shrugging my shoulders and smiling at him. "And I'm well, thank you. How are you?"

Dr. Cullen finally moved, stepping down the last stair to stand in front of us.

"Very well, thanks. It's so nice to see you again. Edward told us you were working with him at the pharmacy now. So…" His eyes dropped to our clasped hands again, and this time I actually did laugh.

"But I'm guessing he didn't tell you we were more than just co-workers?" I asked, unable to keep it in any longer. I looked up at Edward. His sheepish grin pushed up his reddened cheeks, his eyes downcast once again.

Dr. Cullen laughed with me. "No, uh…no, he didn't mention anything."

I noticed Edward raise his eyes to his father, and I saw a look pass between them that I couldn't quite decipher. It was so fleeting that it barely had time to register with me, but it almost looked like concern.

"Carlisle, are you talking to Edward?" called a woman's voice from the back of the house. I immediately recognized it as Esme Cullen.

"Yes, dear," Dr. Cullen yelled over his shoulder. "We'll be right in."

"Dad, I'd like it if Bella stayed and had dinner with us," Edward piped up, catching me by surprise. He must have sensed it. "That is, if you want to stay for dinner," he asked in a whisper as he turned toward me.

"Of course, I mean, if it's all right with your parents," I replied, squeezing his hand in assurance.

"Why, certainly, we would love to have you, Bella. Let's go into the kitchen to see Esme. When I left her she was about to start dicing and prepping the chicken."

We followed behind Dr. Cullen as he led us out of the foyer, down a small hall, through a large family room and rounding into a narrow doorway.

"Esme, dear, Edward has brought a guest for dinner," Dr. Cullen said before my eyes could even fall upon her.

"Oh?" I heard her question, confusion evident in her tone.

Edward pulled me through the doorway, shooting a quick smile in my direction.

"Yes, you remember Bella Swan," Dr. Cullen said, stepping aside.

Several things happened at once.

My eyes met Mrs. Cullen's as she stood over a large cutting board covered in chopped up pieces of chicken, knife at the ready over a fresh piece. Her eyes darted down to our joined hands, eyebrows shooting into her hairline as her hands moved automatically. Then, she winced and yelped, dropping the knife hastily as she lifted her hand into the hair to inspect it.

Suddenly, she and Dr. Cullen stared frantically at Edward, whose hand began to tremble in mine.

"Oh, no, Edward, turn around," Esme shouted, but it was too late.

I heard that familiar thud at my side, immediately taking me back to high school Biology class.

Dr. Cullen was already running her hand under the faucet and wrapping a towel around it.

"Oh, dear," she said, her eyes falling upon Edward's body sprawled out on the kitchen floor, eyes closed and sweat drenching his hair. "Carlisle, you'd better grab the smelling salts."

~DYDM~

**A/N 2: **Once again, I have to give my heartfelt thanks for all the reviews and recs that you amazing readers have been giving me. They make me smile and giggle and skip around my living room while my four year old blinks at me in confusion. I promise you won't have to wait as long for the next update…it's already three quarters of the way written. I'm on a roll!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Chapter 10**

I stood pressed against the kitchen wall trying to decide whether I should laugh or cry at the whole situation. Edward lay pale and unconscious on the floor at my feet while his father wrapped a bandage around his mother's thumb, both of them acting like this happened every day. There seemed to be no urgency in their motions as Dr. Cullen tended to his wife, as if Edward was simply taking a quick nap right there on the tile floor.

"I'm so sorry about this, Bella," Mrs. Cullen said as Dr. Cullen applied one final piece of tape around the gauze on her thumb. "That was very clumsy of me."

"Luckily it was only a small surface cut, dear," Dr. Cullen said. "No need to sew the tip back on or anything." He winked at her and she chuckled, swatting at him playfully.

_Um, hello? Do you not see the body at my feet?_

"Oh…um…that's okay?" I replied as a question. I mean, how did I respond to that?

"And don't worry about Edward; unfortunately, he can't quite handle the sight of blood," she said.

"Only other people's blood," Dr. Cullen added. "He's fine if it's his own."

"I remember being lab partners with Edward back in high school and seeing him faint quite a few times," I said.

"I'll just go and get what we need to wake him up," Dr. Cullen said, smiling at me as he left the kitchen.

Mrs. Cullen went about cleaning up the blood spatters from the floor and around the kitchen sink before taking the blood-soaked towel and throwing it in the trash can. Then she turned her piercing green eyes back to me.

"Forgive me, Bella…it was just somewhat of a shock to see you walk in with Edward," she said quietly, shaking her head slightly and staring at me like I had just resurrected her son from the dead or something.

"Oh, well…" I muttered intelligently as I shrugged my shoulders. What was I supposed to say, you're forgiven? I decided to wait until Edward was coherent again before announcing our relationship to his mother, if she hadn't guessed already. I figured he should be a part of that conversation, mostly because I was too much of a chicken shit to do it alone.

"Here we are," Dr. Cullen announced, walking briskly into the kitchen and crouching down beside Edward.

I knelt down on his other side and took his clammy hand in mine, squeezing it tightly as Dr. Cullen waved a little stick in front of his nose.

Edward immediately cringed and whipped his head to the side, away from the putrid smell. He groaned and lifted his free hand to his forehead, lolling his head to the other side toward me.

"Edward, are you okay?" I asked, squeezing his hand again.

Lazy eyes opened behind his glasses, taking a minute to focus.

"What happened?" he mumbled thickly.

Dr. Cullen released a quick laugh before slapping his hand down on Edward's shoulder.

"You brought a beautiful young woman home for dinner and caused your mother to have a minor cooking-related injury, son," he replied in amusement. "Unfortunately, you got a bit over-excited and we lost you there for a moment."

Edward rolled his eyes and peered sheepishly up at me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, a strong blush overtaking the paleness in his cheeks.

I shook my head and made a face at him. "Are you kidding? Don't apologize to me for passing out. Besides, I'm used to it." I smiled at him, which he returned, already knowing I was referring to high school.

"Do you think you can stand?" his father asked, offering his hand.

Edward nodded and sat up slowly, releasing my hand in the process. I rose to my feet as Dr. Cullen helped Edward stand. Mrs. Cullen was immediately standing in front of him, brushing his hair back from his forehead and looking intently into his eyes.

"You back with us, sweetie?" she asked jokingly.

He grinned and lowered his chin to his chest before taking a deep breath and nodding.

After Edward drank a large glass of water and began feeling like himself again, he took me for a tour of his parents' house. It really was a beautiful home and with the openness of the glass walls, I did feel like I was living in the trees. Esme had decorated her home very tastefully, like something out of a magazine really, yet still managed to keep the warm, comforting feelings of home.

Once our lap of the second floor was complete, something caught my attention.

"Where is your room?" I asked, glancing around at all the open doors that I had already peeked in.

Edward blushed again.

"I actually have my own space, out there over the garage," he said, pointing toward one of the glass walls. I looked and saw a large structure standing alone beside the circular driveway. At the bottom were three garage bay doors. To the side was a wooden staircase leading to a beige door at the top, where I noticed an array of windows adorned with flower boxes.

"Like a little apartment?" I asked.

"It isn't much," he replied, shrugging. "Just a living room, a bathroom, a bedroom and a small kitchenette. I usually eat all my meals here with my parents."

"That's really cool," I said, smiling at him. "Must be nice to have a private space all to yourself."

He nodded and took my hand in his. "It is now."

Something blazed behind his green eyes, making my stomach tighten and the juncture between my thighs tingle. My lips parted instinctively as I leaned closer to him, feeling his strong chest against mine. He was slightly panting, his warm breath only intensifying the heat already saturating my skin. My hands immediately went to his hair as I pulled his face to mine, reveling in the feel of his large hands suddenly grasping and squeezing my hips.

"Edward?" his mother called from downstairs, making us jump apart like two teenagers caught making out.

I stared at him for a moment, willing my body to calm down, before erupting into a fit of giggles. He pushed his hand through his hair and laughed along with me before taking my hand and leading me downstairs.

We spent the next hour speaking with his parents, filling them in on what little there was to tell about "us". They seemed to ask a lot of questions, but I'd never really done the meet-the-parents thing before, so that could have been totally normal for all I knew. As Edward was speaking, I didn't miss the subtle glances Dr. and Mrs. Cullen were giving each other. I was certain I didn't imagine the concern on their faces, but I had no way of knowing the cause of it. Whatever it was, I really hoped it didn't have anything to do with our relationship.

Other than that, his parents were very gracious and kind to me, as they always had been. Mrs. Cullen expressed her condolences about Charlie once more, and asked how I was getting on in the house by myself. I informed her that I now had a roommate and that having Alice there was not only a big help financially, but in fighting the loneliness. Esme Cullen had always been a warm person and she immediately made me feel like I could tell her anything in that motherly sort of way. Having no mother figure in my life at all, it was kind of nice to have someone to open up to in that way.

We sat down to a delicious chicken dinner and the conversation continued to flow comfortably. By the time we were finished eating, I felt the Cullens knew all there was to know about me, more or less.

"Can I help clean up, Mrs. Cullen?" I asked as she began clearing plates from the table.

"No, no, we've got this, Bella," she said, shooing me away with her hands. "Besides, I think Edward wants you all to himself after sharing you with his parents for the entire afternoon." She smiled at Edward and he chuckled at my side.

"Well, thank you so much for dinner. It was delicious," I replied.

"You're welcome," she offered politely, her eyes flitting back and forth between Edward and me for a moment before disappearing into the kitchen.

"Enjoy your evening, kids," Dr. Cullen said, smiling warmly in our direction before joining his wife.

A moment of silence filled the dining room before Edward snickered.

"Was that as awkward for you as it was for me?" he asked, pushing his glasses up his nose.

I shook my head. "Not at all. Your parents are so great. You're lucky to have them." My throat tightened as my eyes dropped to the top of the table. The words just fell from my mouth. Visions of Charlie pelting me with green beans across the kitchen table as I laughed and tried to cook dinner invaded my mind.

Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and sighed.

"It's okay to miss him, Bella," he whispered, his lips ghosting against my forehead. "Just remember you're not alone."

I squeezed my eyes shut and willed back the tears. I didn't want to feel this now, sad and detached and engulfed in memories of my dad. I was with Edward and I wanted to bask in the happiness and excitement that he ignited within me.

Clearing my throat, I stepped away from him and looked up into his green eyes.

"So what was this surprise you were talking about earlier? Was it getting to watch you faint because I have to tell you, I've seen it before and am no longer impressed," I joked.

The side of Edward's mouth turned up in a smirk as he took my hand in his.

"No, that wasn't the surprise," he said. "Come on, I want to show you something."

He led me out of the house and across the driveway, taking me down a stone path. The neatly maintained pea gravel led around to the back of the house, but Edward pulled me in a different direction. Soon we were off the path and traipsing toward the woods.

"You're not leading me into the dark woods at night to have your wicked way with me, are you?" I teased.

Edward snickered and squeezed my hand before glancing back at me. There was a devilish gleam in those bright green eyes.

But he said nothing, his perfect lips turning up in the corner.

My heart did that stuttering thing again, so I took a deep breath in an attempt to control the raging lust coursing through my veins at that moment.

Once we crossed through the tree line, Edward led me down a dirt path, taking me deeper into the woods.

"Where are we going?" I asked, the quiet between us finally getting to me. "You do realize the risk you're taking by making me walk over tree branches and roots and overgrown weeds in the dark, don't you? I'll be lucky to make it out of here without breaking a bone or something."

A deep resonating chuckle fell from Edward's lips in response.

_Does he think I'm joking? He does know my penchant for falling down a lot._

After what seemed like hours, but was really probably only five minutes, the path turned abruptly and we stepped through the trees again. I half expected to see his backyard; for all I knew, we just walked in one giant circle. However, I was pleasantly mistaken.

Before me lay a large stretch of land, completely open and bare of trees. The grass was high, almost to my knees, and even though it was early fall, the ground was still peppered in various colors of wildflowers. The rich pink and orange hues of the twilight sky seemed to make the tall grasses glow beneath me. In the distance I spotted a small herd of deer calmly grazing. The entire scene was breathtaking.

"Surprise," Edward whispered into my ear, causing a shiver to run through me. I had nearly forgotten he was there.

"Edward, this is…it's so beautiful," I replied as quietly as possible, not wanting to ruin the serenity surrounding us.

He pulled me deeper into the meadow and we sat down in the grass. At this level it was nearly to my shoulders. I felt like we were in our own little hiding spot in the middle of the field, completely tucked away from the rest of the world. It was magical.

"Do you come here a lot?" I asked, my eyes still scanning the beauty around me.

"Yes. When I moved back home after college, it was the first time I'd been here since they finished building the house. I took a lot of walks around the property. Once I found this place, I knew it was special. My parents own this land, so I know no one else can come here but me. I cleared that path through the woods myself so that I could always find my way back. It's kind of my secret place, where I can come if I need time to myself."

I listened to him speak of this place and immediately realized he was sharing something significant with me. This meadow was his secret, and he was letting me in.

"Thank you," I whispered, clasping his hand in both of mine. "Thank you for sharing this with me. I'm a little jealous that you can have a place to come to like this whenever you need to get away. All I have in my backyard is a dilapidated shed, weeds and a rusted out lawn mower."

Edward smiled at me, tilting his head to rest on his shoulder as he leaned back on his arm.

"You are always welcome here," he said, lacing his fingers with my own. "I want this to be your secret place, too."

He was so endearing, I just wanted to throw my arms around him. So I did.

He chuckled into my shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me in response.

"How about instead of this being your secret place and my secret place, we call it our secret place, instead," I whispered into his ear before kissing his neck chastely.

He shuddered and nodded against my shoulder, his hands tightening against my ribs.

"I like having something that's ours," he replied.

"Me, too."

I pulled back slightly until our noses touched and brushed my lips against his. The kiss was slow and sweet, but just as passionate as any other we had shared. Our lips molded against the other's, wet and soft and delicious. Then I felt the tip of Edward's tongue slide across my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth to allow him in.

As our tongues met and our lips began to meet more forcefully, Edward pulled my body tighter against his. I moaned into his mouth and automatically moved my hands into his hair.

The heat began to generate between us, my body screaming at me to just rip off all my clothes and rub myself against every inch of him. But my brain was screaming even louder.

I could lose myself in this kiss, get lost with Edward here in the middle of this beautiful meadow…_our secret place_. But there were so many questions and concerns, and after what happened today I felt the need to connect with Edward on a different level.

My hands moved to his face and I reluctantly broke our kiss. Edward's eyes flew open, his brow wrinkling in confusion as he straightened his glasses on his nose.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly. I ran my hand soothingly through his hair and smiled at him.

"Nothing could ever be wrong," I replied, kissing him on the tip of his nose. "I could kiss you all day and all night and never get tired of it."

He smiled and leaned into me, obviously wanting to resume said kissing, but I pulled back. The rejected look he gave me pierced my heart.

_Get the talking over with now so we can get back to the kissing._

Right.

"Edward, I think we should talk about a few things before we go any further," I said, running my finger along his jaw. As long as I could keep touching him, I could get through this.

He sighed and pulled away, running his long fingers through his hair before nodding almost imperceptibly. I pulled my knees up to my chest and laid my cheek against them, focusing all of my attention on the trembling man beside me. I could see his anxiety trying to take over. Lord knew what was going through his head at that moment.

Quickly, yet gently, I laced my fingers through his and pulled his hand to my mouth. Closing my eyes, I squeezed his hand and kissed his knuckles several times before opening my eyes, hoping that what he saw in them offered some sort of comfort and assurance.

After a moment, he pulled his knees up to his chest and placed his cheek upon them, mirroring my position. His eyes were fixated on me.

"Been a hell of a day, huh?" I said, smiling softly.

He smiled back, but it was strained. "You could say that."

"Don't you think we should talk about what happened? I mean, you were pretty upset."

I lost his gaze then, his jade eyes moving down towards the flattened grass beneath us. Just then, a low grumbling could be heard in the distance. I raised my eyes to the sky, noticing the familiar gray clouds moving in from the east, casting the meadow in near darkness. I could smell the rain in the air.

_Ah, Forks, you never disappoint._

"We should go, it's going to rain soon," Edward said quietly.

"Edward, please talk to me," I urged gently, trying not to whine. I didn't want him to pull away, not with me.

He sighed and shrugged his shoulders, still keeping his eyes from me.

"There's nothing to talk about. Mr. Crowley was irate, and even though I offered a reasonable and honest explanation, it didn't sit well with him. He was obviously under a lot of stress, having been laid off from his job and losing his health insurance."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Don't make excuses for him, or feel any pity. The Crowleys are just assholes…period. It's genetic with them. Don't think I don't remember how Tyler treated you in school all those years."

Edward's lips pressed into a thin line, but he remained silent and unmoving.

"Anyway, I wasn't referring to Peter Crowley's little hissy fit in the store. I meant what happened to you outside the store."

Edward's hand went to his hair and stayed there.

"I don't…I don't know how to…do this," he mumbled, gnawing on his lower lip.

"Do what?" I asked, gently squeezing his hand.

"Talk about…how I feel. I'm not used to opening up to someone about myself."

I nodded as a pain ripped through my heart at just how lonely Edward must have been all those years. He's really had nobody, except his parents, I suppose. But who knows how much they really knew about his shitty childhood.

"But I want to," he continued, catching me by surprise. "With you."

I leaned over and kissed him softly on his cheek. "I want to with you, too," I whispered in his ear. "I'm always here for you, Edward. Always."

Laying my head on his shoulder, I felt his body rise and fall as he sighed. Another low rumble of thunder was heard in the distance, yet neither of us moved.

"You said you felt weak," I said quietly, wanting to give him a starting off point.

"Yes."

"Why?"

He hesitated. "Because I couldn't stand up to him. Because you had to stand up to him for me."

I grimaced, glad he couldn't see my face at that moment. At the time all I could think of was saving Edward from that horrible man screaming obscenities at him. I didn't once think that my actions would hurt Edward even more. And the thought of causing Edward any kind of pain made me want to throw up.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I could feel the sting in my eyes as the tears threatened to fall, but I willed them back. "I only wanted to help."

"I know," he replied, his lips ghosting along my forehead. "And please don't think I didn't appreciate it. I just…froze. He was yelling and spitting and I could feel the eyes of all the other people in the store glued to me. I panicked, and when I panic I just…can't get a grasp…can't control…" he stuttered, his breathing picking up with every word.

"Shhh," I cajoled him, running my fingers up and down his forearm.

He took a few deep breaths before speaking again.

"And then you were there, perfectly controlled and professional, yet I could sense the fire and wrath beneath your words as you spoke to him, attempting to calm him down. Your hand in mine was like a lifeline. I couldn't hold it tight enough. And I can't even begin to tell you what it meant to me to have you there, anchoring me…grounding me, all while taking control of the situation. But that's where I seem to have a problem…it should've been me handling the situation. I mean, I'm a pharmacist. It's my job. I should be able to handle unhappy customers. I'm supposed to deal with customers…many of them, on a daily basis. But I can't. I'm incapable of human interaction. And what's worse, while I'm standing there shaking in my shoes, attempting to control my emotions so I don't pass out right there behind the counter, this tiny slip of a girl has to come to my rescue. As a man, or at least the man I wish I could be, you see how this might cause me some distress."

Now I was beginning to get angry. Not at Edward, per se, but at the all the fucked up situations that led him to feel like this.

"Don't do that. Don't put yourself down or feel like less of a man because of what happened. Like you said, you had no control over your emotions. Well, neither did Crowley. He was obviously _way_ off the deep end there. I mean, he threw a stapler at us. And all I could see as soon as I stepped through that door was someone I care about very deeply being attacked. By some miracle I remembered we were at work and I had to try to calm him down and address his problem, but inside all I wanted to do was jump over that counter and tear out his throat.

"Edward, please, I can't stand to watch you beat yourself up over this. You are the strongest man I know…trust me on this. And there is nothing wrong with needing someone to cling to if you ever feel like you're losing control. I will always be your lifeline, just as I know you'll always be mine."

I felt Edward take a shuddering breath and hold it.

"How can you say I'm the strongest man you know? That's a joke if I've ever heard one," he said, scowling.

I sat up straight and looked directly at him, my movement seeming to startle Edward as his eyes darted to mine.

"I've known a few men in my life, some of whom I even care to say I've associated with. All the boys we went to school with? Back then I may not have given them a second glance, but now I know they were all complete cowards for thinking it was all right to pick on a boy for being so much smarter than they were. Jacob Black was too weak to be honest with me about his true feelings, or for even caring enough to try to be with me before he went looking elsewhere. Even that creep Mike Newton didn't have the balls to man up and break up with me to my face – instead I had to hear through the grapevine that I was a lousy lay and he didn't want to give me the time of day anymore. I can't even categorize your big, burly brother as a man after witnessing first hand his indifference to how you were treated in school. The only man in my life worthy of my attention and my love was Charlie. I hold him up there pretty high, and you know what? You're right up there with him."

My word vomit left me breathless and gasping for air. I didn't mean for all of that to come out, especially that brief glimpse into my relationship history, but I couldn't help it. It was a defense mechanism.

Edward blinked at me a few times, his mouth agape. I could almost see the wheels spinning as he tried to process my rant.

Another burst of thunder, now sounding closer than before, startled me and my eyes darted to the dark gray sky. We should probably be heading back to the house, and quickly. Sitting prone in an open meadow while there was lightning overhead wasn't the best idea.

Suddenly, I felt a burst of energy at my side, and I knew it wasn't a lightning strike. No, this was more powerful. It was that constant charge that always manifested when Edward and I were together, only at that moment it had intensified tenfold.

My eyes darted to Edward's and I gasped. His green eyes glowed like emeralds, sparkling and glinting like there was fire behind them. His long fingers moved to his face as he quickly removed his glasses and threw them down on the ground beside us.

Before I could blink, Edward pounced. Suddenly I was on my back with Edward above me, his lips gloriously assaulting my neck. My hands instinctively went to his hair as he continued to lick and nip at my skin.

"I don't know what's happening to me," I heard him mumble against my throat. "You do something to me…something I can't explain. I've never felt anything like this. I've wanted you for so long, always watching you from a distance but never being able to touch you. And now…now that I can, I can't get enough. I just want to be in your presence every second of every day."

I was panting as my body went into overload, physically and emotionally. This…this was what I wanted to hear. I wanted to know where this was coming from, why he acted so differently with me.

Placing my hands on the sides of his face, I lifted his head from my neck so that I could see his eyes. They never failed to show me the truth.

"What do you mean, you've wanted me forever?" I asked in a breathless whisper.

His face contorted into a painful expression as he lowered his eyes.

"Don't," I commanded. "Don't pull away from me. Tell me the truth. You can talk to me, I won't be angry. Please, I need to know."

He looked down at me, his long hair hanging around his beautiful face as his eyes darted back and forth between mine.

"Bella, I've been in love with you since the first grade," he confessed, his voice trembling and quiet.

The air left my body in a whoosh as my mind struggled to catch up to what he just said.

_Since the first grade?_

He must have read the confusion in my eyes because he then had his own bout of word vomit.

"I was new to Forks and it was already the middle of the school year when I started at the elementary school. Everyone had already made friends, and I knew no one. No one wanted to sit with me at lunch, or share my crayons. And then one day, we took a field trip to the Port Angeles Zoo, and because my school bag had ripped and I had to pick everything up that fell out of it, I was the last one on the bus. All the seats were filled. I tried really hard not to cry as I walked toward the back of the bus looking for someone to sit with. There was nowhere. So I turned to walk back to the front to sit with the teacher. But then Jessica Stanley stood up and told Lauren that she wanted to sit 'threesies' with her and Becky. I looked down at the seat she had just vacated and found your big brown eyes looking up at me. You whispered to me, 'I told Jessica her dress was ugly because I didn't want to sit next to her. She talks too much and makes my ears hurt. But you can sit here; I know you don't talk a whole lot'.

"When I sat beside you, I felt…I don't know, calm or something. And then, after the zoo you told me to sit with you on the ride home and my heart kind of stopped beating for a second. At the time I didn't really know what I was feeling, but as I got older I recalled that feeling over and over again and I was able to figure out what it was. But that was just the beginning. You would continue to do little things for me, like letting me borrow a pencil or offering me your carrot sticks because you heard my stomach growl and thought I might be hungry. And once you asked to share my crayons because Charlie forgot to put your crayon box in your schoolbag that morning..."

He paused, one hand pushing through his messy hair before letting it plop back down between us.

"I may have been six years old, but I fell hopelessly in love with you then."

I felt tears prick at my eyes as he went on and on. Honestly, I couldn't remember the bus ride to the zoo or offering him my carrot sticks or asking to borrow his crayons. They were all small, inconsequential things to a six year old, and I was never that observant to begin with. But they had obviously meant something to Edward.

His eyes suddenly shifted down to the grass beside my head, and I felt his body tense.

"In the second grade, though, I experienced one of the most humiliating moments in my life, which is saying something because I've had many. I had…a run in with Tyler Crowley in the boys' bathroom. I found him standing at the sink with two other boys writing stuff on the wall. I could see they were writing curse words. I kind of stood there staring at them, and I guess he didn't like that. He got in my face and threatened to kill me if I told anyone what they were doing. Tyler was taller than me at the time and he was flanked by his two friends. They backed me into a stall, where he told me in great detail just how he would carry out my untimely demise. I was so frightened I…wet my pants right there in front of him," he said, practically whispering that last part.

"They laughed so hard it hurt my ears. Then they turned and left, but I could still hear them laughing all the way down the hall. So I closed the door to the stall and just cried. Next thing I know, you're in there asking if I needed help. I was so shocked to hear your voice, but at the same time, relieved. It was like I was putting out a call for someone to come and save me from my humiliation, and you answered it. You were my angel… you still are," he whispered, running his fingers along my cheek.

"I remember that," I said, gasping. "I had a dream about that day just the other night. To be honest, I had no memory of the whole incident until I had that dream, and then everything came rushing back."

Edward smiled slightly and nodded. "You protected me, using yourself as a shield, the whole time we walked down the hall towards the nurse's office. You got me there without me having to face any further embarrassment. I almost thought I was dreaming, that you weren't really there holding my hand. I will never forget that day as long as I live."

"Edward," I whispered, dancing my fingertips along his jawline. Lifting my head, I kissed him softly on the lips. His eyes fell closed as I felt his body relax against mine.

"Throughout the years, you would always do some little thing for me, probably without knowing it. You went on with your life. But I admit, I…watched you…from a distance."

My eyes widened and he immediately began rushing his words in explanation.

"I wasn't a stalker or anything, I just…when I would see you, I felt…almost drawn to you."

Edward shook his head and closed his eyes, sighing heavily.

"Okay, yes, that does sound stalkerish. And maybe I was," he said, opening his eyes and capturing me in their verdant depths. "I couldn't help it. I had to see you. Sometimes you looked almost as lonely as me, and I wanted to talk to you, but I knew what my reputation was around school. I wasn't an idiot. And I didn't want you to catch any flack from anyone about having any associations with me."

I opened my mouth to speak, to interrupt his ramblings and tell him that he was wrong. I wouldn't have cared what others thought of me for speaking to Edward. But he kept going.

"But then you met Alice. I was happy for you, happy that you found a friend. You always seemed…so distant. So many times I wish I could've said 'screw it' and talked to you. I just couldn't. But my hand was forced…even though I struggled, when we were assigned to be lab partners in Biology, but even then I struggled to find words to say. I guess it didn't matter; I spent most of the time in that class passed out on the floor, right?"

He smiled and I snickered, nodding my head.

"But Alice brought something out of you. A light in your eyes, a smile to your face. You were always so beautiful to me, but as I watched you blossom in high school, I didn't think it was possible, but you became more stunning. I realized then how unattainable you really were for me."

I began to shake my head, wanting to yell at him for thinking something so stupid, but he stopped me with a kiss.

"It was just the way things worked out. People treated us differently. I knew, though…" Edward's voice choked and I watched his green eyes glow brighter as they grew moist with tears. "I knew that no matter how much they pushed and teased me, or banged my head against the lockers, or hid my clothes while showering after gym class, or called me the most vile and crass names that I would never dare repeat for as long as I live…they could never take my heart from me, the heart that was completely and utterly consumed by you."

I lost it. There was no way to stop it. Edward was lying on top of me, confessing the secrets of his childhood and that he had been in love with me since the first grade. And then he brought up the pain of being bullied. But knowing that he held on to me in his heart, that those assholes couldn't take that part of him as they beat him up and ridiculed him, pushed me over the limit of emotional control.

"After graduation, everyone went their separate ways…including us. Not being able to see you every day was…painful. It felt like something…I don't know," he sighed, running his fingers through his hair again. "Something broke in me when I left for Dartmouth, and I knew it was not seeing you anymore."

I released a large sob that felt like it tore my chest in two. My cheeks were already drenched with my tears. It was all too much.

"Bella, I love you…I've always loved you," Edward whispered as he wiped the tears from my face with his thumbs. It didn't escape me that he was crying as well.

_He loved me._

I wanted to say it back, to tell him that I loved him, too. But I held back, and not because it was currently impossible for me to speak through my sobs and hiccups. It was that I didn't know if I could.

In my experience, falling in love only led to heartache. I thought I was head over heels in love with Jacob, only to have that blow up in my face. And with Mike, I thought I loved him enough to give him a very intimate and sacred part of myself, only to have him utterly humiliate me afterwards.

Love was somewhat foreign to me. I wanted to love my mother, wherever she was in the world, but I found it pretty difficult to feel any sort of emotion toward a woman who abandoned her daughter for her own selfish reasons, even if she did give me life. Of course I loved Charlie, but I lost him, too.

I did have Alice, who I loved like a sister. She was the one constant in my life and had saved me from myself, I suppose.

I couldn't deny that what I felt for Edward was powerful, and that it frightened me. Was it love? I couldn't say yet. I wanted to be with him all the time, just stretch out in the warmth and comfort and familiarity he made me feel. When he smiled it lit up my whole world. When he talked I heard music. As cheesy and cliché as it all sounded in my own head, I didn't care. It was the truth.

But I couldn't say it. Maybe one day I could, but not today. And I really wanted to, especially as he looked down at me with such intensity as he tenderly stroked my face and wiped my tears away. So I told him.

"Oh, Edward. I want to say it back…but I don't know how. I've been hurt so badly in the past, and it messed me up."

Edward shook his head and ran his nose gently against my cheek before placing his lips at my ear.

"I don't expect you to say it back. I only wanted you to know the truth of how I felt about you. I've been keeping it to myself for too long. It's liberating being able to finally tell you, and I have no regrets. I'm glad that you know now."

This man was just too wonderful. What the hell did I do in this life to deserve him?

"I can tell you this…that what I feel for you consumes me and literally takes my breath away. I physically ache to be apart from you, which makes me sound pathetic and kind of clingy, but honestly, I don't care. It's the truth. You're easily becoming the center of my universe, baby; you're everything to me. I just want you to know that while I may not be ready to say the words, you already have my whole heart."

Edward raised his head and looked down at me with such devotion before curling his lips up at the corner.

"I like when you call me that," he whispered, his fingers dancing over my lips.

I thought back at what I just said, not knowing what he meant.

"What did I call you?"

"Baby," he said, grinning.

_Did I? I hadn't even realized._

"Such an innocent nickname, yet denoting a strong level of personal intimacy. It makes me feel…cherished," he added.

I smiled and pulled him down for a kiss.

"I do cherish you, baby," I said against his lips.

Suddenly, like someone just flipped a switch, Edward was back in horny aggressive mode. Soon enough we were all lips and tongues again. I had Edward's hair gripped in my fists once more as his hands began to wander. His left hand was already wrapped around my hip while his other remained planted beside my head, holding his weight off me.

It was then my mind totally switched off and my body took over. I bent my knees, pushing Edward off of me momentarily before wrapping my legs around his waist and cradling him between my thighs.

I could feel him easily, hard and rigid, and _right there_.

_Sweet Jesus._

"Christ," Edward growled. I had enough clarity to almost giggle at the fact that he has just completed my thought.

But then he pressed that hardness right against me and wiped all giggling from my mind. He pressed his hips against mine again, the pressure between my legs shooting sparks throughout my entire body.

I moaned so loudly I swear it echoed across the meadow, probably sending that little family of deer scurrying away in fear.

Our kisses grew so intense that I had to pull away for fear of losing complete control. Opening my eyes, I found Edward staring down at me, his lips red and swollen, his mouth open as he gasped for breath. His hips continued to press against me, his hand squeezing my hip so hard I was sure he'd leave a bruise. I didn't care.

"I don't know what I'm doing," he said, groaning as I lifted my hips to meet his. "I've never done this before."

_Oh, so that means…yep, he's a virgin._

I don't know why, but hearing him admit that he was a virgin actually surprised me. Maybe it was because I didn't understand how a man this wonderful and passionate could never have been with a woman. But then the thought of him with another woman made me sick to my stomach, so I pushed it right out of my head and rejoiced in the fact that I was the only woman who would ever get to know Edward this way. And I'd be the last, if I had anything to say about it.

"It's okay," I said, running my hands down his back, slowly pressing into the defined muscles I could easily feel beneath his shirt, until they landed on his ass. I pushed with my hands at the same time I lifted my hips and ground against him.

"Just do what feels natural," I encouraged. Edward's lips attached to my throat as he moaned again, pressing his arousal harder against me. I gasped in delight, the pleasure coursing through me.

Our hips began a delicious rhythm as he rocked back and forth against me. His hardness rubbing against the seam in my jeans created a beautiful torture against my swollen clit.

"Ah…shit, Bella," he groaned, his face still pressed against the crook in my neck. The sound of him cursing and groaning did unbelievable things to me. I had never been so turned on in my life. It had never felt like this with Mike any of the times we made out, not even during the one time we actually had sex.

"Oh, no…no, no, no," Edward whimpered, capturing my attention. Suddenly, his hips pressed into me forcefully before he froze and cried out, then fell limp against me.

_Did he just come?_

"Did you just…" I started.

"Yes," he whispered. I could feel the embarrassment rolling off of him.

"Hey," I said gently, trying to lift his head so that I could see him. He wouldn't budge.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled against my shoulder.

"Edward, baby…please look at me."

After a moment he finally lifted his head, but his eyes wouldn't meet mine.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I said, moving my head so that he had no choice but to look at me. "That was amazing."

"Yeah," he scoffed, "amazingly quick."

"Any ounce of time I get to be close to you like that is like a thousand years of amazing to me," I said, trying to tell him with my eyes that it really was perfect…even if it was a little quick. Even I knew, though, that for a guy who had never done that before, any type of intense stimulation down there might end before it really started.

Edward's eyes softened.

"I want to be good for you," he confessed shyly.

I smiled and shook my head, running my fingers through his hair.

"You couldn't be any better if you tried."

He smiled back at me and bent his head to kiss me.

"Guess I'll just need tons of practice," he said, his voice laced with innuendo. My thighs clenched around his hips in response. Edward may have just gotten off, but my hoo-hoo was still throbbing and needy.

_Yes, next practice session beginning immediately._

"I'd be happy to help you with that," I said, rolling my hips against his. He grimaced.

"Um…I'm feeling a bit…messy…"

It took me a second, but I quickly realized what he meant.

"Oh, I'm sorry…I'm sure you're…uncomfortable." _Tell me about it!_

Edward chuckled down at me before lowering his lips to mine once more.

"I just can't stop kissing you," he said between pecks.

Suddenly a clap of thunder that sounded like it came from right beside us jolted us before the heavens opened up and began dropping buckets of rain upon us.

"Shit!" I screamed as Edward rolled off of me and grabbed his glasses. Sliding them on his face, he took my hand and we ran back into the trees.

It was a downpour. Growing up in Forks, it was nothing new to be caught in a flash rainstorm like this. I just wished I wasn't running through the woods this time.

A streak of lightning lit up the darkened sky, followed by more thunder. I screamed and Edward grabbed my hand tighter as he pulled me behind him. The dirt path beneath our feet was nothing but mud now, and I could hardly see anything as we were pelted with stinging raindrops. I could feel my saturated clothes clinging to my body as my feet now landed in nothing but mud puddles.

And then, being me, my foot connected with a large tree root and I went down, face first into a pool of mud. Since Edward's hand was attached to mine, he inevitably fell with me.

"Damn it!" I shouted, pushing myself up to my knees. My hands frantically pulled the wet strands of hair from my face before I looked down at myself. Groaning, I took in the sight of me covered head to toe in mud. And then I looked at Edward.

He was already standing back up and reaching blindly for me…blind because his glasses were coated with a thick layer of mud. Finally realizing this, he ripped his glasses off and went to wipe them off on his shirt, but thought better of it as his shirt was also covered in mud.

Taking a second to hold his glasses out in front of them as the rain wet them enough to get them somewhat clean, at least enough for Edward to see poorly through them, he replaced them on his face and took my hand again.

I was already back on my feet and trying not to cry at how disgusting I felt. I must have looked like one of those swamp monsters from an old 50s horror movie. I think I even had mud in my ass crack.

_How the hell did it get up there?_

Finally, we broke through the tree line and Edward pulled me towards the garage. No longer under the forest's canopy, the rain seemed to fall harder out here and we ran even faster. We were up the wooden staircase and through the beige door in no time.

Once inside, Edward and I stood frozen as we gasped for breath. I glanced down at the floor and sighed in thanks that we were dripping mud all over ceramic tile and not carpeting.

I was soaked to the bone, and Edward looked no better. His hair and face were smeared in mud, his glasses still mostly covered as well. He was all brown, clothes completely sullied, and I was sure I looked the same.

We stood there for what seemed like an eternity, just staring at each other, shivering and dripping mud. I think we were both in shock, honestly. We went from past secrets divulged, to declarations of love, to humping, to Edward coming in his pants, and finally falling ass over teacups into a mud pit.

Yes, it had been quite a day.

Right now, I just wanted to get rid of the mud in my ass crack.

"Can I use your shower?"

**A/N: **Many thanks to my wonderful beta, **jennde**, for whipping me into shape with this chapter. Honestly, I should start calling her Mistress for the amount of whipping she does...but I appreciate every lashing ;) Honestly this story would be crap without her!

I can't say it enough, but thank you SO MUCH for all the amazing reviews and for those of you who have rec'd this story. I'm just happy to see someone else is enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Chapter 11**

I watched the brown water swirl down the drain as I cleaned the last remnants of dirt from my body, taking a moment to inhale the Edward-scented bar of soap in my hand. Smiling to myself, I felt my muscles relax under the heat of the water, chasing the chill from my bones from the rain and cold I had just escaped.

I finished up and stepped out of the shower and onto the fluffy bath mat. Edward had told me there were fresh towels in the cabinet beneath the sink. I easily located one, drying myself off before leaning forward and wrapping my wet hair up in the towel.

Straightening up, I approached the marble vanity, swiping my hand over the fogged-up mirror, and stared at my reflection. After a moment of just gazing at myself, I couldn't stop the large grin that crept over my face.

I was naked with my hair wrapped up in a towel…and I was in Edward's bathroom. And on the other side of the closed door was Edward. Doing what, I had no clue, but he was out there.

My mind, of course, took a nose dive straight into the gutter. I imagined Edward standing on the other side of the door, his cheek and palms pressed against the wood as he strained to listen to me in his shower until his control snaps and he bursts through the door, finding me naked. He'd lift me up onto the counter, our lips meeting hungrily as I wrapped my legs around his hips. His hands would be all over me, cupping and squeezing my breasts, pinching my nipples…gently at first, then harder, making me cry out. And then his hands would drop to my thighs, fingers digging into my flesh as his lips frantically nipped and sucked at my neck. My hands would tug at his jeans, nimbly undoing his belt, button and zipper until his hands gripped my wrists and pinned them behind me. Holding them there in one hand, he'd return the other to my thigh, slowly sliding it upwards over my hip until his thumb was lazily circling my clit. I'd groan his name and throw my head back, mouth slack in ecstasy as his long fingers slid over me and inside me, starting slowly then increasing in speed as his thumb pressed harder, my hips rising and falling in an attempt to take him deeper.

_Bella_, he'd moan into my neck. _Bella_.

"Bella?"

My eyes flew open and widened at my reflection…the reflection showing me with one hand on my breast and the other between my legs. I was panting like I just ran a marathon and my entire body was thrumming with need.

"Bella?"

And Edward was standing right outside the door.

_Oh, God, please say I wasn't moaning his name while masturbating in his bathroom._

"Yes?" I responded, my voice hoarse and breathy. I was sure by now he's guessed what I'd been doing in here.

"I'm leaving a plastic bag out here for you to put your wet clothes in. If you want I can run them over to the house and wash and dry them for you."

I retracted my traitorous hands from my body and flattened them over my heart, willing it to calm. Clearing my throat, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"No, that's not necessary. I'll just wash them when I get home."

"Really, it's no trouble," he said from the other side of the door, and I was momentarily distracted by memories of my recent sex-starved hallucination, screaming at him in my mind to bust through the door and take me.

_I'm so fucking horny._

"Um…I left some clean clothes on the bed out here for you to…put on when you're…done," he said, his voice lowering slightly.

"Thanks," I squeaked.

"You're welcome."

I heard him move away and the creak of the hinge as he probably closed the bedroom door on his way out.

Exhaling heavily, I looked at myself in the mirror once more, trying to ignore the desperate need tattooed across my face. Flipping my head over, I removed the towel and rubbed it through my hair once more before straightening up and hanging the towel on the empty hook behind the door. While my hair was definitely clean, it also looked like woodland creatures were nesting in it. I wondered if Edward would mind me going through his drawers in search of a comb. Knowing the constant disarray of Edward's hair, however, I questioned the likelihood of finding one.

Opening the small drawer to the right of the vanity, I smiled upon immediately finding a small brown comb nestled between some toothpaste and floss. After untangling the barrage of knots in my hair, I used my finger to rub some of the toothpaste over my teeth and rinsed out my mouth.

I sighed and smiled, loving the feeling of being fresh and clean, especially after taking a mud bath in the pouring rain.

The last few hours replayed through my mind. Edward's confessions were heart wrenching, but knowing that amazing man out there was in love with me made me feel...I didn't even know. It was hard to put into words. Fulfilled? Complete? Whole? How cliché could I get?

I may not have been able to label my feelings, but I could say with certainty that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and with whom I was meant to be. I'd like to believe in things like soul mates and fate; according to Alice they most definitely existed. But I'm too cynical to hang all my hopes on things like that. I wouldn't survive getting my heart trampled on again, especially by Edward. The thought of not being with him caused me physical pain.

Like right now, I was a few feet away from him in his bathroom, yet the pull I felt toward him was undeniable and hard to fight. Maybe I could surgically attach myself to his torso and we could travel the world as some sideshow circus freak. But I wouldn't care because we'd really be inseparable then and completely happy, not to mention the easy access of having my legs permanently wrapped around his hips.

Speaking of Edward, he was probably still out there in rain-soaked, muddy clothes awaiting his turn in the shower, and here I was selfishly hogging the only bathroom in the whole apartment while masturbating and pondering a future in the circus.

Hastily, I cleaned up and cracked the door open, peeking out to find an empty bedroom. Stepping onto the soft carpet, I padded over to his queen-sized bed where there was a pair of grey sweat pants and a navy blue t-shirt folded neatly on the comforter. Lifting the shirt to my nose, I inhaled deeply and smiled, letting his scent wash over me as I slid the shirt over my head and my arms through the sleeves. The shirt was huge, landing just above my knees. I laughed as I pulled on the sweatpants, knowing full well they'd be too big for me, too, as Edward was so much taller than me. I had to roll the waist a few times, as well as the legs, but they worked. And it didn't escape my attention that I was completely sans underwear underneath all of this. In my present situation, that could only be a good thing. I tied the excess material of the shirt into a knot at my waist and fluffed out my drying hair.

Now that I wasn't running through the apartment towards the bathroom in the hopes that I wouldn't drip mud all over the place, I could take a moment to actually look at Edward's place. His bedroom was a decent size. The walls were a deep blue, but sparse. There was a black-framed print of blue and yellow swirls on one wall that I recognized. I think it was called _Starry Night _or something like that. On his nightstand, there was a digital clock perched next to a small framed photograph of Edward in a cap and gown standing with Emmett and their parents, but that was it. The other wall was filled by a large window overlooking the trees. The view was amazing, which was probably why Edward didn't have any window coverings to block it. I wouldn't mind waking up to that every morning, and it wasn't like anyone could see in unless they were up in one of the trees. There were three small square windows directly over his headboard, which I bet let in a lot of morning light. It was dark now, though, the raindrops pounding against the glass, and the room was lit by a lone lamp on the nightstand.

The only other pieces of furniture in the room were a dresser, an overstuffed chair, and a small desk that looked like an antique. It was just a basic bedroom and really spoke nothing about the man who slept within. I ran my fingers along the light grey comforter on his bed, stopping at his pillows, trying to picture what he looked like as he slept. Smiling at the image of a sweet, peaceful Edward all snuggled up in his blankets, I took a step back.

Once my nosiness had been satisfied, I returned to the bathroom with the bag Edward left by the door and placed my damp and dirty clothes inside. Tying the bag closed, I decided to place it by the front door so I wouldn't forget it when I left. I used a washcloth to wipe up any remnants of dirt left on the floor by my clothes before draping it over the bar in the shower.

Opening Edward's bedroom door, I immediately froze at the sight before me.

Edward was running a Swiffer mop over the ceramic tile in the entry way. His head was bent, his dark hair completely hanging in his face, almost obscuring it from me. Oh, yeah, and he was wearing nothing but a pair of tight, wet jeans rolled up to the middle of his calves.

I was barely coherent enough to realize that my mouth was hanging open, most likely drooling as my eyes remained transfixed on the flexing of the muscles beneath his shoulders while his arms moved back and forth with the mop. The chiseled definition of his torso was still a complete mystery to me. I mean, it was obvious that he worked out, but when? And where? Honestly, it didn't matter to me. I'd still drool over him if he was bird-chested and scrawny. That's not what attracted me to him. But hey, I wasn't a nun and the fact that he had this hidden beneath his clothes was just an added bonus…one that I planned on thoroughly enjoying. His neck and shoulders were streaked with dirt, as were his ankles and forearms.

Edward stopped mopping and glanced around the floor before turning toward me and jumping back a bit.

"Jeez, Bella…I didn't hear you come out," he said, pushing his glasses up his nose and running his hand through his hair.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you…I just finished up," I replied, trying desperately to tear my eyes away from all that muscle and flesh, but failing terribly.

Edward didn't say anything. His silence and stillness were powerful enough to divert my eyes. And the sight of him wide-eyed and open-mouthed, staring back at me like I was the last piece of food on the planet, kind of took me by surprise.

"Are you…all right?" I asked hesitantly.

He blinked and closed his mouth, his tongue peeking out and sliding over his lower lip. His bright green eyes roamed over my body slowly. Had I been wearing some sort of device that gauged my levels of lust at that moment it would be all the way in the red, alarms blaring.

"I like you in my clothes," he blurted out. He looked at me in surprise and wonder, almost as if he didn't know who had just said that. I couldn't help but let out a girlish giggle.

"Well, I like wearing your clothes, even though I'm swimming in them," I said, running my hand over my hips in what I had hoped was a seductive manner.

The mop slipped from Edward's hand and landed on the tile floor with a _thwack_. My teeth automatically pulled in my bottom lip as I watched him walk slowly toward me.

With each step he took, my body responded in turn, the energy pulsing a bit stronger the closer he got. It was as if, just being near him switched me on. It was different from being turned on, which I was as well, but I just couldn't explain the way my body simply came alive in his presence.

By the time he stood directly in front of me, my breathing was coming in short pants. I looked up and was immediately captured in his gaze, his damp, dirty hair clumped around his face. He had traces of mud on his cheeks and on the tips of his ears. Edward was dirty and practically naked in front of me, looking like he was about to devour my very soul. If I was having another sex-starved hallucination, I didn't want to wake up.

"I should go get cleaned up," he whispered, his breath fanning over my face as our eyes remained locked. I could only nod. "If I touch you right now, you'll get all dirty again."

"Maybe I like being dirty," I said, and then it was my turn to widen my eyes in horror at what had just come out of my mouth.

_What cheesy ass porno did you get that from?_

Edward's eyes darkened, however, and he sucked in his breath before biting his lip.

I knew I was only seconds away from tearing off the baggy sweats and jumping on this man, demanding he fuck me senseless, so I closed my eyes to break the trance and stepped back.

"I think we should…breathe for a second," I said, shaking my head a little bit.

Edward cleared his throat and shuffled his feet. "You're right," he said quietly. "Um…I'm going to go jump in the shower. Please, make yourself at home. If you want anything to drink or eat or whatever…help yourself. I'll…I'll be right back."

He scurried away towards the bedroom, closing the door, but leaving it open a crack. A few minutes later I heard the shower start, and I was able to move my feet. Placing my bag of dirty clothes by the front door, I picked up the mop Edward had dropped and propped it up against the kitchen wall before entering his living room and collapsing on the couch. I was becoming a firm believer in spontaneous combustion because if didn't get some form of release soon, I was sure to end up nothing but a pile of ashes before morning.

Looking for a much needed distraction, I stood and walked over to the large book case that covered almost the entire wall behind a black leather recliner. Edward had so many books; his collection was impressive, ranging from the classics, to some thick non-fiction texts on history and literature, to a variety of medical dictionaries and magazines, pharmacology books, and more. On the bottom shelf sat two large canvas boxes. Curious, I knelt down and pulled one of the boxes out, lifting the lid. I gasped as I saw the contents. It was filled with comic books, each one individually wrapped in plastic. Peeking under the lid of the other box, I found more comic books. He was definitely a collector.

Smiling and shaking my head at my geeky boyfriend, I replaced the boxes and stood. There was a large, flat screen television in the corner, and what looked like three or four various gaming stations underneath the entertainment center. A small black box filled with controllers and remotes sat to the side.

My eyes continued to scan the room and fell upon an acoustic guitar propped up in a stand next to the black recliner. I had no idea Edward played the guitar, but he was full of surprises. I wondered if he'd play for me.

Behind the living room was the small kitchen area, which really only consisted of a small refrigerator, a small granite counter with a sink and a wall of cabinets overhead. It was more like a snack station than a kitchen, considering it lacked a stove. There was a small bar area covered in the same granite as the counter with three stools underneath. A laptop computer with a darkened screen sat on top next to a stack of papers.

All in all, it was quite swanky for an apartment over a garage, but that was no surprise considering the Cullens' extravagant tastes. But it was still pretty blah and lifeless. Aside from the comic books, gaming systems, guitar and one framed photograph, I wouldn't have known it was Edward's place. I mean, just about anyone could have lived here.

Sighing, I plopped down on the couch again and found the television remote, switching it on. I glanced at the clock on the cable box and was surprised to see it was almost nine o'clock. I supposed I should be leaving soon, but quickly pushed that thought from my mind. I didn't want to leave…not yet, anyway.

I snuggled down into the comfortable couch cushions as I continued to channel surf Edward's obscenely large flat screen. The rain continued to pound the window panes and an occasional lightning flash would illuminate the room, followed by a low rumble of thunder. I wondered what it was like to live somewhere tropical where it might rain for all of five minutes before the sun would return. Or in the southwest, where it was dry and hot and constantly sunny. Living in Forks, and even Seattle, I experienced more rain and thunderstorms than one person should be subjected to in a lifetime.

Still, I was a girl and was prone to squeak and jump when a smack of thunder ripped across the sky and rattled the windows. Like the one that had just happened and left me momentarily shaking.

Something on the television screen caught my attention and I lifted my finger from the remote. The hockey mask and bloody butcher knife should've been warning enough for me to keep surfing, but I was immediately sucked in to the classic eighties horror flick. Charlie's television screen was always showing either sports or old horror movies. He was a closet fan, especially of Jason Voorhies. I never understood why…was it the hockey tie in? Regardless, I had seen this movie more times than I could count…and it still scared the shit out of me.

_So why are you sitting here by yourself watching it in the middle of a thunderstorm, genius?_

I watched, enthralled, as Jason stalked his victim, while the dumb broad cried and begged. The eerie music crescendoed as Jason lifted his knife. I felt my heart pounding in my chest as I sank lower into the couch like it would protect me or something.

Several things happened at once.

A bright flash of lightning streaked across the sky as the lights in the apartment flickered and then went dark. Then, a large crash of thunder pounded outside, causing me to jump ten feet into the air. Finally, the sound of a phone ringing loudly from right next to me sent me into near cardiac arrest. I screamed bloody murder and leapt off the couch, falling on the floor behind it.

Scrambling to my feet, I suddenly heard a voice shouting at me, only causing me to scream even louder.

"Bella, what is it? Are you all right? Why are you screaming?" Edward asked frantically. The illuminated cell phone ringing and buzzing on the bar was the only light in the room. I turned in the direction of Edward's voice coming toward me.

"Edward? Holy shit, I'm about to have a freaking heart attack," I blurted out, nearly choking on my fear.

"Are you all right?" he asked again.

I reached out and felt his hand, which was also outstretched, searching for me in the dark. I grasped his hand and pulled until I had my arms locked around his torso, my face buried in his…very naked and shower-dampened chest.

_Oh, boy._

Edward made a strange noise in his throat as I pulled myself tighter against him. He wrapped one arm around me reached for his cell phone with the other.

"Hello?" he asked, his voice slightly strained.

Something was poking me in the stomach, and ridiculous visions of Jason Voorhies kneeling in front of me while plunging his knife into my gut danced behind my eyes, causing me to tighten my hold on Edward, thus pressing my entire body against his.

"Holy shit," he whispered, exhaling heavily. "I mean…sorry, Mom. No, I'm fine. Yes, she is. I know, this is a bad one. Well, I was planning on it, but…Yes, I know where the flashlight is. I have some candles, too. Yes, as soon as the storm lets up I'll take her…oh, okay. I'll let her know, we'll grab it before we leave."

His arm tightened around me and I immediately figured out what was jabbing me in the stomach, thoughts of hockey mask-wearing serial killers long forgotten. And the fact that it was so incredibly hard and warm only led me to deduce that it was as completely bare as the rest of Edward.

To test my theory, I let my right hand slowly trail down his back until it was firmly resting on his ass…his naked ass. His naked, hard, buns of steel ass.

Edward's nose rubbed against my cheek as his hand that had been resting on my back slid down to my hip.

"No, we'll just hunker down up here until the rain lightens," he said into the phone, his voice low and gravelly.

The need and desire that had been coursing through my body earlier came back with a vengeance as my mind struggled to catch up and register the fact that I was holding a naked Edward in my arms…who was on the phone with his mother.

But I just couldn't bring myself to care. And the way Edward began heavily breathing, his chest rising and falling against my own, his hand gripping and releasing my hip, I didn't think he cared either.

"That's not necessary, Mom. Okay…I will. You, too. Bye." Edward hit a button on his phone and placed it back on the bar, but his nose never left my cheek.

With his other hand now free, he placed it on my other hip and pulled my pelvis against his body. I gasped and gripped his ass cheek in response. Edward groaned and dropped his forehead to my shoulder.

"Why are you naked?" I asked in a moan.

"I'm sorry," he whispered apologetically, his hands remaining glued to my hips, squeezing and releasing.

"I'm certainly not complaining, just curious."

"I had just gotten out of the shower and was drying off when the lights went out. Then I heard you scream and all I could think was that I had to get out here to make sure you were all right. Clothes were an afterthought. I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…I hope you don't think I meant to…"

I grabbed his face and lifted it from my shoulder, silencing him with my lips. He moaned into my mouth, one hand plunging into my hair, which was still damp from my shower. My fingers moved to his hair, as well, which was also still wet. I could feel his glasses pressing against my eyebrows, but as usual, it didn't faze me.

My mind was clouded by my overwhelming need for release, coupled with the feel of Edward hard and hot against me. Yet somewhere buried deep in my subconscious, my rational mind was screaming at me to slow things down. This was all new to Edward, and I didn't want to appear to be the complete hussy I always turned into in his presence.

Suddenly something bright flashed before my closed eyelids. I slowly opened my eyes only to close them again and blink rapidly as they adjusted to the lights that had just come back on. Edward's face was still pressed against mine, but our lips were frozen, as were our hands and bodies.

It was like a large bucket of ice water had just been thrown over us. I internally cursed the gods of electricity for picking that exact moment to lay down the cockblock.

And now we were just floating in a big cloud of awkwardness.

Edward pulled his head away slightly and it took every ounce of willpower I possessed to not let my eyes wander down and feast upon that hard piece of man meat that had been poking at my abdomen for the last five minutes. The look in his eyes, however, made it easy to focus my attention on his face. Because he looked utterly scared shitless.

"The lights came back on," he said, a slight tremble to his voice.

"I see that."

We were locked in position, our hands still tangled in each other's hair, but our breathing evening out. Actually, I think Edward had stopped breathing all together.

"Hey," I said gently, releasing my hand from his hair and running my fingers over his cheek. "You okay?"

"I'm just…feeling a little…exposed at the moment," he replied, staring at me helplessly.

"You mean, now that the lights are back on?" I asked, surprised by his sudden change in demeanor. We were getting hot and heavy just seconds ago and now he was retreating.

_See, you were moving too fast, hussy!_

"Edward, you don't have to be embarrassed about being naked in front of me. I think…I think you're beautiful," I said, my voice lowering at the end.

Something shifted in his eyes behind his glasses. He looked almost…sad. I couldn't understand why he would feel that way, or if I was even correct in my observation, but I could still feel him pulling away.

"Um…could you…I should go put some clothes on," he mumbled, his eyes sliding toward the kitchen. Yet he didn't move.

"Okay," I said, resigned to the fact that we wouldn't be going any farther tonight. And that was okay. Edward meant too much to me for all the progress we'd made to fall apart now. "I'll turn around."

His expression morphed into one of gratitude, so I offered him a small smile and turned my back to him. I heard him scurry back into his bedroom and the opening and closing of drawers.

Moving toward the window, I watched the raindrops hit the glass and begin their descent down the pane. There were still a few rumbles of thunder, but they sounded as if they were moving away. The storm was letting up, which meant he'd be taking me back to my truck.

"Do you want something to drink?" Edward asked quietly behind me.

"No, thank you. I'm fine." I turned around to find Edward standing awkwardly in his kitchen wearing a pair of black cotton shorts and a white Nike t-shirt. His feet were still bare.

Edward nodded his head and sighed.

"Do you want to watch some televsion?" he asked, moving hesitantly toward the couch.

"The storm is letting up, and it's getting kind of late. Do you want to take me back to get my truck now?"

Edward grimaced and lowered his eyes to the floor. Placing his hands on his hips, he shifted back and forth on his feet.

"Oh…are you…did you want to leave?" he asked, his voice sounding so small.

"Not particularly." I chuckled, answering honestly. "But I understand if you want me to go."

Edward's eyes shot up as he looked at me in surprise.

"Why would I want you to go?"

"I just thought…I mean, I don't want to pressure you or anything."

"Pressure me? Why do you think I would feel pressured?" His thick brows furrowed in confusion.

"Well, when the lights came back on you kind of…froze up on me. I don't want to you to feel like you need to do anything you're not ready for."

Edward sighed. "Trust me, Bella. I'm not feeling pressured, and I _want_ to do everything with you."

Now it was my turn to feel confused.

"Then why did you pull away from me like that?"

His eyes fell to the floor while his fingers played with the hem of his shirt.

"I guess…it's just, I've never…I was completely naked, and a little uncomfortable, to be honest." Suddenly he lifted his panicked face and looked into my eyes. "Not because of you…I didn't mean that."

I smiled softly and nodded.

"You've never been naked in front of a woman before?" I asked quietly, taking a step closer to him. I knew he was a virgin, but I wasn't exactly sure of how far his sexual explorations have taken him, or if he had done any exploring at all.

That pained look crossed his face again and something dark flashed in his eyes. He grimaced and diverted his eyes again, choosing to focus on the floor.

"Um…well, no…not in that way," he whispered so quietly I could barely hear him.

Now I was intrigued.

"Oh? Were you naked in front of a woman in a different way?" I asked, trying to keep my tone light and amused. It really was a ridiculous question. I mean, unless he was talking about having a physical done by a female doctor, I wasn't sure what he had meant.

Edward clenched his eyes shut and his hands balled into fists, making the tendons in his forearm tighten into thick bands. After taking a deep breath, however, he relaxed his hands and his face, but kept his eyes to the floor.

"I…I don't want to talk about it," he whispered.

I watched in defeat as my frightened animal returned. And whatever had caused his reaction was something bad enough to hurt or scare him. Seeing Edward in any kind of pain affected me just the same, and I knew that whatever it was would have to come out eventually. I was all about honesty in relationships. But not tonight. I couldn't push Edward to talk about it if he wasn't ready to tell me.

"Hey," I said quietly, stepping closer to him. "That's fine. You don't have to."

He sighed again and finally looked at me.

"The point is that no, I don't want you to go…not yet. Actually," he said, swallowing thickly. "I was…kind of hoping you would…would stay."

I smiled. "Okay, sure, I can stay a while longer."

"No, I mean…stay…stay the night…here, with me."

Edward's green eyes shone as they pleaded with me to grant his wish. He wanted me to spend the night.

"We don't have to do anything," Edward spoke hurriedly. "I just…love being close to you. Especially after today."

"I love being close to you, too," I said, finally closing the distance between us and placing my hands in his. He wove his fingers between mine and smiled sheepishly at me.

"But maybe we should slow things down just a bit," I added.

"Do you…think we're moving too fast?" he asked, the worry back in his eyes.

"No, I…"

"Did what happened in the meadow frighten you? Was that too fast? I'm sorry, I didn't know what came over me, I just –"

My fingers came up and pressed against his lips, effectively shutting him up.

"What happened in the meadow was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I will never forget it for as long as I live. But you and I are just starting out here, and this is new to both of us. I know we don't know much about each other's relationship history, and I think maybe we need to talk about things like that, but not right now. We're both inexperienced at the physical side of things, and that's okay. I kind of like being able to discover that side of our relationship with you…on equal footing."

He smiled and nodded.

"There's no need for us to rush into anything. We can move at a pace we're both comfortable with, okay?" I concluded.

"Okay," he whispered in response after I removed my fingers from his lips.

I closed my eyes and sighed, completely ignoring the little voice in my head nagging and whining that I still hadn't gotten off and I needed to really badly.

_I'll just have to wait until I get home and take things into my own hands, so to speak._

"All right, Mr. Cullen. I'll spend the night."

His face noticeably brightened.

"Great! If we wake up early, say around 6:30, I can take you back to your truck and you'll still have time to go home and get ready for work," he said. It almost looked like he wanted to do a little happy dance with the way he began shifting back and forth on his feet.

"Yeah, but then you'd have to be at the pharmacy way earlier than you need to be," I said, frowning.

He shrugged. "I don't mind, I can always catch up on inventory."

But I had a better idea.

"Or, you could come over to my house and let me make you some breakfast," I said cheerily.

If his face got any brighter I'd need to wear my sunglasses…at night.

_Cue Corey Hart. _

"I could do that," he said, his grin so wide I thought his cheeks would bruise.

"Great! Now that all of the emo is out of the way, let's snuggle on the couch like normal boyfriends and girlfriends do," I said, plopping on said couch behind him.

He chuckled and joined me, wrapping one arm around my shoulders as he reached for the remote I had dropped on the floor. I snuggled into his side, inhaling the fresh clean soapy smell of him. Edward switched on the television and the screen was immediately filled with rolling credits, accompanied by a creepy, yet familiar horror movie theme song.

I buried my head into Edward's armpit in response.

"What's the matter?" he asked, chuckling down at me.

I extricated my face just enough to answer him.

"I was watching that," I said, pointing at the screen.

"You were watching _Friday the 13__th_ before the lights went out?" he clarified. I nodded against him. "No wonder you screamed."

"Yes, that together with your mother's impeccable timing with the phone call and your obnoxiously loud cell phone ring."

He laughed. "It is rather obnoxious. I should find a new ring tone. Believe it or not, that's on one of the lowest settings. I have no idea why it's so loud."

Mentioning his mother, however, had me thinking.

"Will your parents mind if I stayed the night?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the screen as Edward flipped through the channels.

"I am an adult, Bella. I am capable of making my own decisions."

"Says the man who lets his mother buy his clothes," I snickered.

Edward's hand was suddenly at my rib cage, tickling me within an inch of my life. I yelled and threw my body away from his in an attempt to escape the torture. His other hand moved to the other side of my torso, tickling me now from both sides.

"Stop, Edward…stop it!" I yelled between breaths, laughing and screaming simultaneously.

"Not until you apologize for that little comment, Swan," he said, laughing.

Suddenly, Edward's obnoxiously loud cell phone began ringing and vibrating against the granite countertop once again. We both jumped.

He looked down at me and sighed before rolling his eyes. I was just grateful for the end of my tickle torture.

"Hi, Mom," Edward said into the phone.

I stretched out onto the couch and resumed control of the remote.

"Yeah, we're fine up here," he continued. "Oh, right, I forgot to tell her. Oh, okay. I'll let her know. I'll run over and get it if she needs it. No, you go on to bed. Well, no, actually…she's staying the night. Mom…Mom, don't." Edward's voice lowered and he turned his back to the couch before walking into his bedroom and closing the door.

_What the hell was that about?_

I sat up and looked over at Edward's bedroom door, hearing him murmur. Apparently, his mother did have a problem with me staying over; at least that's what I could assume from his sudden departure from the room.

After a few minutes, his door opened and he met my eyes.

"Sorry about that," he said, walking over to me and placing his phone down on the coffee table.

"It's okay," I said, shrugging. I lay back down on the couch and scooted to the edge, inviting him to lay behind me. He immediately crawled in and settled himself between me and the back of the couch, draping his arm across my hip.

I continued to surf the channels, stopping briefly on an episode of _Bones_. My mind was elsewhere, however.

"Does your mom have a problem with me, Edward?" I asked, surprising myself. I felt Edward tense behind me.

"No, why would you think that?"

"Well, after dinner she seemed like something was bothering her, especially when she looked at you and me. And just now, when she called and you told her I was staying the night…it doesn't take a genius like you to realize she had a problem with it."

Edward sighed, and I could feel the rise and fall of his chest against my back.

"She's just…very overprotective of me," he said quietly.

"And she feels like she needs to protect you from me?"

_Okay, that may have sounded bitchier than intended._

"I told you I've never done this before," he replied, tightening his arm around my waist.

I closed my eyes and attempted to think rationally about this instead of acting on my need to run across the driveway and defend my honor to Edward's mother. First Emmett, and now her? Wasn't Edward allowed to live his own life?

"So you've never been in a relationship, and obviously I'm the first woman you've ever had sleep in your apartment," I thought out loud. "I guess, if I were your mother I'd be worried, too…even if you _are_ an adult."

"No, it's…it's not that, she's just…I mean, she really does like you, Bella. She always said you were a sweet girl, and my parents always thought highly of your father. She just…doesn't want to see me get hurt." His voice trailed off at the end, and I fought the urge to roll over and look him in the eye.

Instead I placed my hand on his and squeezed it tightly.

"She has nothing to worry about," I whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

Edward pressed his nose into the back of my neck and hummed against my skin.

"I know," he whispered.

I smiled and cleared my throat.

"Okay, I thought we were done with the emo for tonight. Aren't we supposed to be doing normal boyfriend, girlfriend stuff now?" I asked, stretching my legs before nudging them between Edward's.

"Absolutely," he said, shifting a bit into the back of the couch. "What do you want to watch?"

I continued flipping through channels until I found what I was looking for.

"Oooh, this is the one where they find out Sookie is a fairy," I said excitedly, raising the volume slightly.

"You like _True Blood_?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"Are you kidding? I read all the books and when I found out they were making it a show I got so excited. After the first season, though, I realized they weren't kidding when they said it was _loosely_ based on the books. I don't care, though, Eric is hot," I said, sighing at the end.

Edward scoffed. "Sure, if you like that extremely tall, blonde, muscular Viking kind of thing."

Reaching back, I ran my fingers through his hair tenderly.

"Awww, don't worry, baby, I only let tall, smart, penny loafer-wearing pharmacists lay their hands on me," I purred.

Edward did that growling thing again and pressed me back against his hard, lean body.

"I'm certainly glad to hear that," he whispered in my ear before biting the lobe, shooting a thousand sparks through my body in less than a second.

I swear, Edward may have had no experience in the physical intimacy department, but he was a quick learner. Either that or he was just a natural.

"I thought all the girls liked Jason, though," Edward said in his normal voice.

I giggled as Jason came onto the screen with Detective Andy Bellefleur.

"He is pretty popular, but he's not my favorite. Alice, however, is in love with him."

Edward's hand shot up as he smacked himself in the forehead.

"Jeez, I keep forgetting to tell you. One of the reasons why my mother called was because you left your purse in their foyer, and your cell phone is in there. Apparently, it kept ringing and beeping. She said it sounded like someone was trying to get a hold of you. I can only assume it's Alice."

Glancing at the clock again, I cursed to myself.

"Yeah, she's probably wondering why she hasn't heard from me at all today," I said, raising up on my elbow. "And I completely forgot about leaving my purse in your parents' house."

"Do you need me to run over and get it for you?"

"No, there's no need for you to go out and get rained on all over again. Can I just use your phone real quick to call her?"

"Sure," he said.

Reaching over, I snatched his phone off the coffee table and rested back against him as I dialed her number. His hand fell to my hip and squeezed it gently, momentarily distracting me from the ringing in my ear.

"Hello?" Alice answered hesitantly, probably wondering whose number this was.

"Hey, brat, quit blowing up my phone," I teased.

She sighed heavily. "Isabella Marie, do you realize that in the gazillion years we've known each other we've never gone a day without speaking to one another, even if it was just a text?"

_Was she yelling at me?_

"Calm down, Mom, I'm sorry. I left my phone in my purse, which is currently in Edward's parents' house and we got caught in the storm so I couldn't get to it."

"So this is Edward's phone you're calling me on, I assume?"

"You assume correctly."

"And am I also to assume that if your purse is in his parents' house then that means you have met his parents?"

"Well, I've known them for years so I wasn't technically meeting them," I replied.

"Okay, the last time I talked to you, Bella, you were freaking out about Edward's abrupt mood swings and hot dressing room make out sessions. And now you're meeting the parents? My, my, didn't we have a productive day?" I could hear her Cheshire cat grin seeping through the phone line.

"That's putting it mildly," I mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Yes, I'll tell you later."

She sighed again. "Well I'm glad to know you're not dead in a ditch somewhere or anything. Seriously, I was getting nervous. I mean, I heard a wicked storm passed through Forks and –"

"Wait, are you still in Port Angeles?"

"Yes, that's why I was calling you to begin with. Dinner with the girls ran late and so I'm just going to crash at Jasper and Rosalie's tonight. I didn't want you to leave the light on for me or anything."

"Actually, that works out just fine because now I don't have to tell you not to leave a light on for me."

"Huh?"

I chuckled into the phone. "Seriously, half-pint, you need to lay off those hairspray fumes."

"Uh-huh, I see how it is. And I understood you perfectly, you sarcastic bitch. You're sleeping elsewhere tonight."

"Wow, you really are psychic," I snarked, gasping in mock surprise.

The little gremlin growled into the phone.

"Well, psychic this, snot. I had a flash earlier during dinner, and I texted you a message, but you probably didn't get it since a normal woman wouldn't let her purse or cell phone out of her sight. Tell me, Bella, did you end up covered head to toe in mud?"

This time my gasp of surprise was genuine.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," she said smugly. "I hope you got a hot shower out of the deal, at least. A little lather, rinse, repeat action from a certain pharmacist?" She began laughing loudly.

"Okay, okay, that's enough out of you. I'll see you tomorrow," I grumbled.

"Be safe. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you!" she exclaimed giddily.

"Love you, too." I pushed the end button on Edward's phone and tossed it on the floor.

"She is rather…boisterous," Edward said from behind me as I settled back against his body.

"She's an annoying little pixie," I groused, then sighed. "But I don't know what I'd do without her."

Edward was silent for a moment. "You're lucky to have her," he said quietly.

I turned and finally faced him, smiling mischievously. He regarded me curiously.

"You know," I said, lifting my finger to his chin before trailing it down his neck and chest. "Since we're lying here all snuggled up on the couch watching television together, there are other boyfriend, girlfriend things we could be doing."

Edward gulped as my finger tip traced his Adam's apple.

"Such as?" he breathed.

"Kissing?" I asked, blinking up at him innocently. I actually had more NC17-rated ideas in mind, but we were all about taking this slow…weren't we?

He smiled as I reached my hand up and slid his glasses off his face, leaning back to lay them on the coffee table. His lips were on mine instantly and I couldn't help but chuckle at his eagerness.

"Oh, Bella, I could kiss you for hours," he whispered against my lips. I responded by sliding my tongue into his mouth.

Edward moaned and placed his hands on either side of my face. My hands instinctively dug into his hair and tugged, eliciting another moan from him. I was all about getting the moans.

It didn't take long for our kissing to turn into another intense make out session. I was panting and trying desperately not to rip my clothes off and mount him. My desire for him and that desperate need for release that had been floating just beneath the surface came forcefully rushing back.

Edward's hand was gripping my hip so hard I expected to find bruises, but I didn't care. He was holding my hips back from grinding on his leg.

Suddenly things got interesting.

Edward's hand slid to the back of my thigh and hitched my leg up over his hip. The baggy sweatpants I was wearing weren't very accommodating as far as gaining any friction, however, with the ample amount of fabric drooping between my legs.

I wanted to rip these damn sweatpants off, but I was coherent enough to know that probably would throw the "going slow" thing right off the table.

"Bella," Edward moaned, sounding almost in pain. "I need…"

"What, baby, what do you need?" I asked, nipping my teeth across his jaw line.

His hand slid up the back of my shirt, scorching and searing my bare skin.

"I need to touch you…can I touch you?" he pleaded with me.

Now I was the one moaning, his words spurring me on. I was barely hanging on by a thread at this point.

"Please, baby…I need your hands on me. Please," I whined, no longer caring. It was true. I needed him to touch me, to give me something. My entire body felt like it was burning from the inside out.

The hand that was on my back slid up and around until he was finally cupping my breast. I cried out in frustration and joy at finally feeling his hands on my body.

"I don't know how to touch you," he said, the desperation evident in his voice.

"You already are, baby. Just do what feels natural," I encouraged him.

He hesitated, his entire body vibrating against me, so I decided to take control of the situation.

I sat up, his hand dropping from my body and a look of confusion crossing his face.

I smirked at him before lifting the t-shirt from my body and tossing it on the floor.

"Oh, God," Edward moaned, instantly reaching for me. "You're utter perfection…so beautiful…"

Our lips met once more in desperation as Edward's large hands covered my breasts. I lay back down beside him and allowed the pleasure to wash over me as his hands molded and kneaded my flesh. His thumb slid over my nipple and I let out a deep moan in response.

"Does that feel good?" he asked in a whisper against my lips.

I could only nod in response, and honestly, that was quite possibly the most stupid question anyone had ever asked in the history of the world.

His fingers traced my nipple again before tugging on it gently.

My fingers gripped his hair so tightly he called out, and my hips began gyrating on their own, desperately seeking the friction they craved.

"Edward, please," I moaned, not even knowing what I was asking for, but just needing…something.

His lips moved down my neck, licking and gently sucking against my pulse before descending to my chest. My stomach erupted in a million butterflies as he let out a shuddering breath against my breast, my sex clenching in anticipation as his tongue slowly laved at my nipple before encasing it in his mouth.

I threw my head back and moaned loudly again, unable to control my whore-like sounds anymore. It felt fucking awesome and I wanted him to know it. Seriously, I never wanted him to stop…ever.

I could feel the dampness grow between my legs as he continued to lick and suck my breasts, paying equal attention to each. His long fingers joined his lips and tongue in their explorations, and I was adrift in a sea of lust and want.

My hips continued moving on their own, my pussy throbbing almost painfully with my need to come.

"Baby…oh, God, baby…I need…" I mumbled incoherently, and Edward seemed to sense my distress.

He slid back up my body so that we were once more face to face. I opened my eyes and met his, gasping at the desire and excitement I could see within them.

"Are you all right? What is it, baby?" he asked in a rush, his hand brushing my hair back from my face.

Upon hearing Edward call me baby, the heat coursing through me kicked up another notch and without thinking, because by this point I was incapable of any rational thought, I grabbed his hand and placed it at the top of my pants, pleading with my eyes.

"I can't take it anymore…I need…please, Edward. I need you to touch me," I begged, not caring anymore if this was taking things too far.

Edward didn't seem to care, either.

His lips descended upon mine and our tongues glided together as his fingers slowly dipped beneath my pants and immediately found me hot and wet for him.

"Oh, Bella," he moaned, followed by a few other sounds I couldn't quite make out.

Edward rubbed his fingers up and down my sex for a moment before taking his thumb and pressing it against my clit.

"Yes," I hissed, disconnecting my lips from his and opening my eyes. Edward stared at back at me, that flame lighting his green eyes so that they seemed to shimmer. Our faces were still practically pressed against each other, but we simply stared at each other as he brought me closer to where I needed to be.

"Like this? Is this what you needed, baby?" he said, spurring me on even further.

I nodded, our eyes remaining locked as his thumb pressed and rubbed more insistently. Suddenly I felt his other finger slide down and push inside me, and I whimpered.

"You're so soft, Bella. So warm. So wet," he mumbled.

"For you," I whispered. "Always for you."

"Yes, always for me. You're mine, Bella. Tell me…tell me you're mine."

"Yours," I said, panting as his fingers rubbed and penetrated me. "I'm yours, Edward."

Edward groaned and I could see his own need in his eyes. I extended my hand and brushed it against his erection, which was difficult to disguise behind his loose fitting shorts. But he pulled his hips away and shook his head quickly.

"No, this is just about you, baby. Just for you," he said.

With that, his fingers began to move faster, pushing deeper. I cried out as my hips began grinding down on his hand, seeking release. I could feel my abdomen tightening, and I realized somewhere in my lust-fogged haze that I had never had anyone else make me come. Only myself. While Mike and I had fooled around, it was always him who got off while I was usually left wanting. And that one time we had sex, of course, he did his thing, finished quickly, and rolled away from me. To say I was left unsatisfied would've been an understatement. With Jacob, we were both teenagers and only went as far as some second base action. I was beginning to realize, though, that things with Jacob were nothing more than teenage puppy-love.

This was on a whole other level from anything I had ever experienced.

Our eyes were still fixed on each other. I could feel the pressure building to its breaking point.

"There, right there," I moaned, reaching down to grab Edward's forearm and pushing with all my might. His entire hand cupped my pussy, his thumb on my clit and finger now deep and still inside me. I ground my hips once more against his hand as my mouth fell open in a silent scream, feeling the pressure in my belly release with a force.

I swear Edward and I both stopped breathing as my orgasm raced through me. His eyes were so dark as he watched me come, his mouth open in awe.

After a moment in which I think I blacked out, I blinked a few times and tried to focus on his face. My lungs regained function as I panted for some much-needed oxygen.

Edward slowly retraced his hand from between my legs, leaving me feeling empty and bereft. He wrapped his arm around my waist and buried his head in my neck. My arms went around him, and we held each other as I came back down to earth.

"Thank you," I whispered, my entire body humming with pleasure and contentment. I mean, this was amazing. I had never felt this good after having an orgasm brought by my own hand. My man had some magic fingers.

I felt Edward shake his head before raising it and looking into my eyes once more.

"No, Bella, thank _you_," he said quietly. "For letting me touch you, for allowing me to bring you pleasure. You…you are so beautiful when you come," he added, whispering the last part.

I smiled weakly, running my hand through his unruly hair that I was only now just noticing had some reddish, coppery-colored highlights to it. Probably because he had just washed it.

Lifting my head slightly, I kissed him chastely on the lips before gently rubbing my nose against his.

"Not as beautiful as you," I whispered to him. He smiled and returned to nuzzling my neck.

An hour later, we were wrapped up together in Edward's large, comfortable bed, buried deep beneath his comforter as we listened to the rain against the large windows. Edward's head rested on my chest as I rested my cheek on his head, gently stroking my fingers through his long hair. His arms were wrapped tightly around my body, and our legs were tangled together once more.

I couldn't have been more comfortable if I tried.

We had not spoken much since our little couch activity, but it wasn't out of awkwardness. There simply wasn't any need. We had said all we needed to say through our touches. There was no sense of "uh-oh, we shouldn't have done that," or anything like that. We knew we had only done what felt right.

And now, snuggled together in his bed as we drifted off to sleep, I felt such a sense of comfort, like I was meant to be here like this with him.

I felt Edward's breathing even out and his grip on me loosen slightly, and I knew he had fallen asleep. So I allowed my exhaustion and post-orgasmic bliss to overtake me as I drifted off myself, but not before hearing Edward whisper against me.

"I love you, Bella."

**A/N: **As always, my unending thanks to **jennde** for taking time from her ass-kicking real life to beta this for me.

And thank you to for the reviews and alerts and recs, especially DeeDreamer for her humbling review on Random Acts of Rob today. I wish I could send each and every one of you a personal note expressing my sincere gratitude, but any second of free time I can muster goes into writing this story so please know that your reviews mean the world to me and motivate me like nothing else can.


	12. Chapter 12

Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Chapter 12**

I wish I could say that our first night sleeping together was some romantic, transcendent experience…that he woke me up in the middle of the night with his urgent need to touch me, and that we stripped naked and groped each other until we both came sweetly together, whispering words of affection and devotion until falling back to sleep blissfully sated.

But I can't say that…because Edward is a complete bed hog.

Oh, and he's a flailer. Meaning, he flails his arms intermittently throughout the night while tossing and turning and taking all of the blankets with him until they're a tangled ball at his feet. There was one instance of flailing where he actually smacked me in the nose with the back of his hand, giving me a slight nose bleed. Thank goodness he was asleep at the time or else he probably would have fainted at the sight of me gushing blood. I had to creep to the bathroom in the darkness for tissues and wait for my nose to stop bleeding before reluctantly – yes I admit it, I had been freakin' tired at that point – back to bed.

My main problem with Edward's sleeping habits was that I was the complete opposite. I referred to myself as a cocoon sleeper; I'd curl into the fetal position and burrow myself under my blankets and pillows until I was surrounded by downy comfort, and I remained in the same position throughout the entire night. Sure, there have been occasions where I had trouble sleeping for some reason and therefore did my own amount of tossing and turning, but mostly I slept in my cocoon.

Once we had fallen into a deep sleep, Edward rolled off of me and began his nighttime extravaganza of bed Olympics, while I attempted to do my burrowing. However, it hadn't been long before the blankets were at the foot of the bed, tangled up in Edward's ankles, and I was left cocoon-less in the fetal position, gripping my pillow beneath my head like it was the last pillow on Earth. I swear, if he would have made a grab for it during a flailing moment, I would have bitten his hand.

Needless to say, sleep was hard to find, at least for me. Edward seemed dead to the world, which was kind of funny with the amount of moving he had been doing. Finally, around four o'clock in the morning, Edward lay spread eagle on the bed motionless, and remained that way for at least twenty minutes, so I snuggled my face down into the pillow and got as comfortable as I could on the sliver of mattress left for me before succumbing to my exhaustion.

Before I knew it, Edward's alarm clock was beeping and I was grumbling and cursing under my breath at being awoken from my brief slumber. I yawned and stretched slowly before rolling onto my back. Cracking my eyes open, I was mildly startled to find Edward sitting on the other side of the bed staring at me.

"Good morning," he said quietly, his hair in its usual disarray with a few pieces hanging over his face. I had been right; his hair held shades of red that I hadn't really noticed before. I suppose that was evidence that Edward didn't wash his hair too often, but I just wasn't going to think about how gross that was. Dirty or clean, I still loved to run my fingers through it.

His full lips turned up at the corner in a shy smile, his face glowing pink with a blush, and his green eyes sparkled at me from behind his thin frames.

And just like that, my grumpiness from the lack of sleep and my desire to throw a pillow over his head and suffocate him disappeared. He was so adorable, looking at me all shyly and awkwardly, which was amusing considering just last night he had his hand down my pants, giving me my first orgasm by fingers that were not my own. I couldn't help my smile.

"Good morning, baby," I replied, cringing at the way my voice sounded like I smoked six packs of Lucky Strikes a day. "What are you doing?"

He dropped his eyes and picked at the comforter, which I just realized was back on the bed and covering me.

"I…I was just…watching you sleep. I know, creepy, right?"

_Could he be any cuter?_

I chuckled. "No, not creepy. Although I'm sure my mouth was hanging open and I was drooling. Not very attractive," I snorted.

"No," he immediately said, interrupting me. "No, you're…you're so beautiful."

Now I was the one blushing and looking away.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked. My eyes shot back over to him.

_Should I lie?_

He looked at me so eagerly.

_Shit, I can't hurt his feelings, not after the first night._

"Yes, great."

_And if you injure me in my sleep again, I may have to destroy your comic book collection._

"How about you?" I asked.

His smile lit up his entire face.

"I think that was the best night's sleep I ever had," he replied enthusiastically.

_What the hell?_

"I've never…slept next to anyone before," he continued. "Well, except my brother when we were children and went camping with the Denalis, but nothing like this."

I smirked.

"Lucky me," I said, praying that sounded convincing. From the look on his face, I'd say it did.

We stared at each other with goofy grins on our faces for a while before Edward cleared his throat and looked back down at the comforter where his fingers were picking at a thread.

"Um…so, I put a new toothbrush and container of floss on the bathroom counter for you, along with the toothpaste. I also hung a clean towel and wash cloth for you on the hook behind the door. If you want I can give you another pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt to wear home; or you can just keep the ones you're in already…" he stammered nervously.

"Thank you," I said, sitting up and placing my hand on top of his to stop his fidgeting. "I can just wear these home, it's no big deal."

His eyes returned to mine and I could see the tension in his face fade away.

"Take your time, we can leave whenever you're ready. I'm going to run over to the house and get your purse for you," he said, standing from the bed.

It was then I noticed, somewhat belatedly, that Edward was already dressed and clean-shaven. He was wearing another pair of jeans and his green button down shirt, left unbuttoned, over a plain white t-shirt. The color of his shirt really made the green of his eyes sharper, and I felt like I was Superman caught by glowing kryptonite as he gazed down at me on the bed.

"Bella?"

"Huh?" I answered intelligently, snapping out of my green-eyed stupor.

"I asked if you wanted anything to drink or eat from the house…are you…are you all right?" he asked, concerned.

"Um…no, no thanks. I'm fine. Did you…how long have you been awake?" I asked, my eyes moving down his form.

He looked down at himself, probably realizing my surprise at seeing him up and dressed.

"Awhile," he replied quietly.

"Well, guess I need to get my ass out of bed then, huh?"

He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the sides in amusement.

"I'll be right back," he said shyly.

He turned toward the bedroom door and as soon as I caught sight of his perfect ass in those jeans, I called out.

Edward turned back to me instantly.

"Yes?" he asked.

Smiling, and praying that my hair wasn't a complete rat's nest and that my breath didn't smell like rotting roadkill, I crawled to the edge of the bed, delighting in the way Edward's eyes widened and his Adam's apple bobbed in this throat.

Pushing up onto my knees, I beckoned him with one finger while smiling mischievously at him.

He slowly approached me with his hands shoved in his pockets. Once he was in front of me, I wrapped my hands around the sides of his open shirt and pulled him closer.

His mouth dropped open as he gasped.

"Don't I get a good morning kiss, baby?" I asked, pouting a bit for effect.

Edward groaned as I ran my hands down his chest to his waist. Then I slid my fingertips up underneath his t-shirt and grazed the skin of his abdomen directly above his jeans, feeling his muscles contract under my touch.

Suddenly, his hands were gripping my face and his lips were attacking mine.

And just like that, I became possessed by some demon of lust. Because I honestly cannot explain what happened next.

"Do you know how sexy you look in these jeans, baby?" I whispered against his lips before darting my tongue out and licking his bottom lip. "Your ass is so perfect and seeing it in these jeans, all tight and rugged…makes me so wet," I moaned.

Edward was breathing heavily against my face as I greedily sucked and nipped at his jaw line before running my tongue up his cheek to his ear.

Nibbling on his ear lobe, Edward whimpered and pushed his cheek against mine, his hands moving down my back until they were cupping my ass and squeezing it.

"Your body is so beautiful, baby," I continued. "I could spend eternity just worshipping you with my hands and my mouth. Would you like that?"

Edward was shaking against me, but I knew it wasn't from nerves.

"Fuck, yes," he hissed.

Hearing Edward curse was quite possibly the hottest thing ever. The guy barely spoke at all, and when he cursed it went from my ears to my hoo-hoo. I also knew Edward only cursed like that when he was turned on, which added to my own desire because it was empowering knowing I could make him lose control.

"I want to touch your cock, baby…can I?"

I honestly had no idea where these words were coming from, or this sudden appearance of sexual confidence.

_Perhaps I was a porn star in my former life?_

Edward's head fell back and he let out a loud moan. I took that as a yes.

My hands frantically undid his button fly, my mind only focusing on what my body wanted at that exact second…to feel Edward's cock.

I had felt it rub against me a few times by now, but had yet to hold it in my hand. And, dear God, did I want to touch it and do dirty things to it.

My lips kissed up and down his neck as I dug my hand into his boxers and finally felt it…hard and smooth and hot. It felt heavy in my grasp. I ran my fingers up and down the shaft in a few experimental strokes until reaching the tip.

"Oh, baby…" I moaned wantonly. I wanted to see it. I _needed _to see it.

I shamelessly slid Edward's pants down his hips until his cock was freed from his boxers.

If ever there was a more glorious sight than Edward's penis, erect and lying in the palm of my hand, well…there just couldn't be one. He was absolutely perfect, in no way small but big enough for me to know that thing would have me seeing Heaven in no time without causing me bodily harm.

Just one more thing to check off on the list of reasons why Edward and I were made for each other. We fit together in every other way, and I knew it wouldn't be any different once our bodies physically came together.

I watched in awe as my hand slid up and down his erection before I became aware of what was happening outside of my cock haze.

Especially the quiet. It was _eerily_ quiet. I was fairly certain Edward should have been making some sort of noise.

My eyes moved up to his face and I gasped.

Edward eyes were clenched tight, his teeth dug into the flesh of his bottom lip, the muscles and tendons in his neck stretched taut, and his face a slight reddish-purplish in color…

"Edward, breathe!" I shouted at him, my hand leaving his cock as I gripped his face.

His eyes flew open as he exhaled heavily before taking in large gulps of air, his chest heaving with the exertion. His forehead was covered in sweat and his glasses had slid down to the tip of his nose. I pushed them up without thought.

"Are you all right?" I asked, staring at him with worry.

The color slowly returned to his face as his eyes focused on mine. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he squeezed his eyes shut again.

"I…no one's ever…" he muttered, shaking his head and looking down.

"Hey," I whispered, lifting his head so that I could see his eyes again. "No hiding from me, remember? I know this is all new to you. Are you not ready for this? I can wait, baby…I don't want to push you…I just…just wanted to touch you, to make you feel good like you did for me last night."

"I always want to touch you," he said, his hands moving to my hips. "And I always want you to touch me."

I smirked and leaned forward, brushing my lips faintly against his. His released a shuddering breath as his hands gripped my hips hard.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked quietly against his lips.

He hesitated a moment before shaking his head. "No."

"Okay, but I need you to relax, baby. Don't think right now. Just feel."

I opened my eyes, our faces still close, and found his green eyes blazing back at me. Our gazes remained locked as I wrapped my fingers around him gently, relieved to find him still hard and wanting. Slowly I dragged one fingertip up his shaft until I reached the tip, then back down again. I repeated the motion several times before wrapping my whole hand around him once more, squeezing gently as I made my ascent.

He gasped and moaned.

"Keep breathing, baby. Relax."

He released a few shuddering breaths across my face, our eyes still locked together, as I began to move my hand faster and exerting a bit more pressure.

"Does it feel good, baby?" I asked, brushing my lips against his again.

"Yes," he whispered. "It's unbelievable."

Edward's hands continued to squeeze my hips, occasionally running them down over my ass. As my hand continued to move over him, his touch became more aggressive, more frantic. His breathing increased, and his hips began to rock slightly in time with my strokes.

I knew he needed more, so I released him momentarily to lift my shirt off over my head.

Edward groaned and his lips were immediately on mine, sucking on my bottom lip before plunging his tongue into my mouth, which I greedily accepted. His hand fondled my breast as my hand returned to its vigorous exploration of his cock. I wrapped my other arm around his neck to anchor myself to him as his hand squeezed my breast, pushing and pulling at my nipple.

Moaning into his mouth, I let my hand travel lower, cupping his balls in my hand and squeezing them gently.

"Ah, fuck," he cried out, burying his head in my neck and nipping at the flesh on my neck.

"You like that, baby?" I whispered into his ear before licking his lobe.

"Yes, yes, ah, Bella…"

I returned my hand to his cock and felt the moisture at his tip, using my fingers to spread it along his shaft, allowing the lubrication to quicken my pace. His hips were frantically thrusting into my fist now, his hand almost painfully gripping my breast, but I didn't care. He was coming apart from my touch and I was loving it.

"Are you close, baby?" I asked him.

He could only nod rapidly in response against my shoulder. I glanced down and watched my hand at work, my eyes widening at the glorious sight before me. His cock slick and shining, so hard and stiff and heavy, his hips moving erratically with every downward thrust of my hand.

"Look, baby…open your eyes and look down," I said.

Lifting his head from my shoulder, he leaned his forehead against mine and opened his eyes, looking down between us. His panting grew heavier and his hands moved to the back of my head, entrenching his fingers in my hair and grabbing it in tight fists.

"You're so beautiful," I said without thinking, not that there had been much thinking on my part going on the past five minutes.

Edward released a loud moan as he watched me touch him so intimately.

"No, we're so beautiful…together," he said between panting breaths.

I nodded against his forehead, my eyes never leaving my hand on his cock.

"I want to feel you come, baby. Come on me…want to feel you on my skin." I felt the words fall from my lips, but it sounded like someone else was speaking them. I honestly didn't know I could talk dirty. I had always thought it was only a talent saved for an elite group of sexual superwomen, but apparently I was wrong. I wasn't speaking from my brain at that moment; my entire body was being controlled by my lust and desire for Edward.

He growled and gripped my hips in his hands again, his thrusting becoming more erratic until suddenly his head fell back with a loud, "Fuck!" erupting from his mouth.

"Bella," he cried out as I felt his cock twitch in my hand and his release against my stomach. It was warm and wet, and a little sticky, but I didn't care. I slowly continued moving my hand over him until he started coming back down to earth.

When I could tell he was sated and calming down, I grabbed his face and kissed him passionately, being mindful not to rub his clothes against my abdomen, which was now painted in his fluids.

"That was amazing," I said against his lips, smiling widely.

He nodded dumbly before returning his lips to my own. I pulled away to find him smiling down at me.

"Thank you," he whispered, echoing my own sentiments from the night before.

"No, thank you for allowing me to bring you pleasure," I said, doing the same.

We continued kissing for a while before Edward groaned in displeasure, knowing we had to get moving if we were going to make it to my house for breakfast and then to work on time. Reluctantly, we released each other and Edward disappeared into the bathroom before returning with a wet washcloth. He ignored my insistence on cleaning myself and gently, almost reverently, wiped his semen from my body. He placed a few soft kisses against my breast before backing away. Opening his closet, he stepped inside, where I assumed he put the washcloth in his hamper.

I put the t-shirt back on and finally climbed off his bed.

Edward turned to me, his face practically glowing with a smile so wide I wondered if it hurt his cheeks.

"I'm going to go over to the house and get your purse now," he announced, his smile never faltering.

I chuckled at him. "Okay, sounds like a plan."

"I'll be right back. We should probably get going."

"Right," I replied. "I'm just going to use the bathroom real quick."

"Of course," he said. "I'll just…go…"

He took a few steps backwards, his eyes never leaving me, until he walked right back into the door.

"Oh, baby, you okay?" I asked.

Edward nodded and stepped to the side, finally backing out of the doorway and into his living room. It took him a moment to turn away from me and head to the front door. He was still smiling.

I used the bathroom and washed my hands, splashing some water over my face. I smiled down at the neat little "tooth care" pile he left for me on the sink. Opening the new toothbrush, I quickly brushed my teeth. I even flossed, even though I rarely ever did, much to my dentist's chagrin, but Edward went to the trouble of leaving me a new pack of floss, so it was the least I could do.

Running my fingers through my hair, I took a second to study my reflection in the mirror. I was glowing nearly as brightly as Edward, the same goofy smile pasted on my face even though I wasn't the one who had just experienced the intense orgasm. I wondered what I looked like last night after my own mind-blowing release; if I was glowing like this after Edward's orgasm, I must've looked like a nuclear reactor last night.

It had been an amazing morning, and it wasn't even seven o'clock yet.

_Yes, I had just successfully jerked off my boyfriend, who had never had a girl touch him before, and he obviously thoroughly enjoyed it. He even thanked me after coming all over my stomach. Take that, Mike Newton!_

I went out to the living room to find my coat and muddy sneakers. The coat, which was just as dirty, was lying under my bag of soiled clothes by the front door. My shoes sat right beside it. Lifting my shoes from the floor, I grimaced at the caked on dirt and figured I should try to bang some of if off before getting into Edward's ultra-clean car.

I began to open the door, but stopped suddenly when I heard voices below. It was easy to recognize Edward's voice, but his tone was shocking.

He sounded pissed.

"You don't know anything about our relationship," he said, anger lacing his voice.

I couldn't see them, but judging by the sound of their voices I knew they must have been standing in the driveway by the garage doors right next to the stairs.

"I'm not saying this to anger you, Edward, your mother and I simply want you to be careful." I recognized Dr. Cullen's voice, and he sounded like he was attempting to calm an angry bear.

"I know what I'm doing, Dad. I'm a grown man."

"Who has been hurt in the past, son. Severely."

"This is nothing like that," Edward spat. My curiosity was instantly piqued.

_Hurt in the past? But Edward said he's never been with anyone else._

Dr. Cullen sighed heavily, and I could almost picture them both standing there running their hands through their hair in frustration.

"Look, Edward…we've known Bella since she was a child. We know she's a good girl. We know this is nothing like New Hampshire. But we also know that you've never had a girl in your life, not like this. Your mother and I are not blind; we can see things are getting serious between you two. Just…please understand that as your parents, we can't help but worry, especially after what happened. All we're asking is that you please think with your head and not your heart here…or…any other body part," Dr. Cullen said emphatically.

I heard Edward release a choked laugh.

"You think I'm only with Bella for physical gratification?" he asked, his disgust evident in his tone.

"Edward…"

"No, Dad. I told you. You know nothing. What Bella and I have is real…the only real thing I've ever had in my life. What we share...it goes beyond anything physical. She…she is everything to me. And while I can appreciate your reluctance in seeing me get close to anyone, you and Mom need to back off and let me live my life. Because for the first time, I actually have something worth living for." I heard Edward release a sob and my own chest tightened with a need to run down there and wrap my arms around him.

My eyes stung with tears as my mind tried to wrap itself around the words I was hearing. _What happened in New Hampshire?_ I knew his parents had some sort of aversion to seeing Edward and I together, but honestly I just thought it was because he was their youngest son and that whole "no girl is good enough for my baby" mentality.

_That's not my story to tell. You should ask Edward._

Jasper's words echoed in my thoughts. I knew something had happened; I just didn't realize that it was much more severe than I had originally thought.

"Son, I know what it's like to feel deeply for a woman to the point where she becomes your whole universe. I also know you claimed to feel this way before, and look what happened there," Dr. Cullen continued.

"I told you, this is nothing like that!" Edward shouted, startling me. "That wasn't real, that was mere infatuation. And yes, I admit, it blinded me. But this is different. It's always been Bella. Always!"

"Okay, okay, calm down Edward."

I heard a smacking sound, hoping that was just Edward smacking his father's hand from his shoulder or something and not Edward actually _hitting_ his father.

"I don't need to be coddled like a toddler, Dad."

Dr. Cullen sighed again, and they were silent for a while.

"Just…be careful with your heart, Edward. Don't give it up too easily. Because if you get hurt again…well, we worry about how you'd deal with it. Honestly I don't think your mother and I can stand to see you that way again."

Silence from Edward.

"Does Emmett know?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"Why is every single detail of my life subject to public knowledge?"

"I'm only talking about Emmett, and you know how protective he is of you. He's going to want to know if you and Bella are seeing each other."

"We're not _seeing_ each other, Dad. We're together, as in boyfriend and girlfriend, as in she's the love of my life."

"Don't be so dramatic, Edward."

"I'm not being dramatic, Dad. It's the truth."

"Regardless, you should tell your brother. Don't forget what he went through for you in New Hampshire."

"Of what _he_ went through? I didn't ask him to do any of that."

"Edward…"

"No, you know what? I'm finished with this conversation. Bella is waiting for me, and we have to get to work."

I heard his footfalls running up the staircase, so I quickly closed the door, which I had only opened just enough to hear. Standing like an idiot in front of the door with my muddy shoes in hand, I knelt down and pretend to be gathering my dirty clothes and things when Edward came barging through the door, nearly taking my head off in the process.

He slammed the door behind him, noticing me on the floor and apologizing to me quickly before heading toward the kitchen. His entire body was trembling as he dropped my purse on the counter and began opening and closing drawers. I stood and entered the kitchen, watching him frantically searching before he opened the last drawer and breathed a sigh of relief. He pulled out a brown prescription bottle and popped the top off, spilling a pill out into his palm and tossing it in his mouth. I moved silently behind him, taking a bottle of water from the mini fridge and handing it to him.

While my mind was racing with questions and confusion, I kept my mouth shut. Edward was obviously upset after arguing with his father, and I knew I wouldn't help matters by subjecting him to my own interrogation.

Edward stretched his arms over the counter and hung his head, desperately attempting to control his rapid breathing. His hands clenched against the granite.

Acting instinctively at the sight of Edward in any kind of distress, I moved behind him and covered his hands with my own, slowly gliding my fingers over his clenched fists until he finally released them, flattening his palms over the counter. I laced my fingers between his and squeezed, letting him know without words that I was here for him, regardless of the little seed of doubt that had been planted in my brain after hearing his father's words.

I knew Edward well enough by now to know that he sometimes had to be handled with kid gloves, and that if he did have some deep dark secret in his past involving another woman, I'd just have to be patient and let him come to me. He'd tell me when he was ready, I was sure of it. I didn't want to lose Edward, but I also didn't want to be lied to. And if he had been hurt as badly as his father made it sound, I certainly wanted to know.

I also knew that I had yet to share my own relationship history with Edward, other than the brief glimpse I gave him yesterday in the meadow. I mean, he knew I dated a guy named Jacob Black and a guy named Mike Newton who said I was a lousy lay. I'm sure after hearing that Edward's own mind was swimming with questions.

But right now, neither one of us needed to hear any of that. Edward needed me. I didn't want our beautiful morning to be completely ruined by this.

I moved to his side and raised up on my tip toes so that I could reach his ear.

"Baby," I whispered, kissing his cheek softly. "What's the matter?"

He sighed and leaned his head against mine.

"Nothing," he replied quietly, his voice hoarse with emotion.

I didn't want Edward to know I had been eavesdropping, so I had to play dumb.

"You left here with a big smile on your face and you come back shaking and upset and needing a pill. That doesn't look like nothing," I said, concerned.

Edward turned and grabbed me around my waist, lifting me effortlessly up on the counter. I instinctively opened my legs and he stepped between them, grasping my face in his hands.

"It's nothing, really. Can we…can we just pretend that I didn't…that I'm not…" He let out an exasperated sigh and dropped his head to my shoulder.

I knew what he wanted; to pretend that nothing was wrong. To go back to our perfect morning. And I couldn't deny him. I knew the truth would come out eventually, although hopefully sooner rather than later. But right now he needed this, and I would give it to him.

So I nodded and wrapped my arms and legs around him, surrounding him with as much of myself as possible. I began rocking gently from side to side, feeling his body relax and meld into mine. His arms had been wrapped painfully tight around me, but they, too, began to relax until he was just holding me as gently as I held him.

He sighed again, his warm breath washing over the skin of my neck.

"You are my peace, Bella," he whispered against me.

**A/N**: Many thanks to **jennde**, my awesome beta. And again just have to thank all who read and review and take the time to message me to tell me how much they're enjoying my story. It means the world to me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Chapter 13**

Fortunately, Dr. Cullen had already left before we trudged out to Edward's car. I didn't bother glancing at the house, already feeling Mrs. Cullen's eyes on me. I didn't want to see the look of sadness or disgust or whatever other horrible feelings she had about her son dating me. I knew now that his parents were concerned about him dating anyone and not just me, so I shouldn't have taken it so personally, but how could I not? Edward's happiness was at stake and he didn't need the added stress and pressure from his parents. That couldn't be good for any relationship, least of all at the start of one.

My throat tickled, just itching to spew forth the litany of questions I had about what ever happened in New Hampshire and who this other girl was. But I miraculously remained silent. In fact, the entire car ride back to my house was spent in silence. Edward held my hand tightly in his, though, keeping our connection, and I allowed his touch to calm my mind.

_Later. I'll worry about this later. Yes, I'm an idiot and should call him out on all of this, but he's my Edward…my frightened animal. And I don't want to lose quite possibly the best thing that's ever happened to me by scaring him away. He'll tell me when he's ready._

We pulled into my driveway and I noticed Alice's car parked along the curb. She always was an early riser.

Edward was eyeing her car warily.

"Should I still come in?" he asked quietly.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you serious right now? Of course you should still come in. Edward, you do realize Alice lives with me now. I mean, you're going to have to get used to being around her if we're going to be together," I said gently.

He nodded and looked down at our joined hands where he was absentmindedly playing with my fingers.

"I know she's a lot to take, trust me. But she grows on you," I added.

"Like a puppy," he muttered.

"What?"

He lifted his eyes to me.

"She's like a puppy…all energetic and excitable and constantly yapping, and you really want to lock the thing in a room until it calms down just to get a moment's peace, but then you find yourself missing its cute little face and wagging tail, so you open the door and laugh when it jumps all over you and licks your face," he said, smiling bashfully.

I laughed and shook my head.

"Yes, she's exactly like a puppy. Although if I catch you staring at her wagging tail or witness any face licking, you and I are going to have some problems," I said, jabbing my finger playfully into his chest.

He grabbed my finger and pulled my hand to his lips, kissing my palm.

"Never," he whispered.

After retrieving my bag of dirty laundry from Edward's trunk, we walked hand-in-hand up the porch steps and through the front door. I kicked off my dirty sneakers inside the door and turned, immediately stubbing my toe on one of Alice's boxes.

"Freakin' A," I shouted, hopping around on one foot while gripping my injured toe.

"Bella, is that you?" the evil pixie shouted from the top of the steps.

"Yes, hoarder, its me," I growled through clenched teeth.

Edward helped me hobble into the living room where he sat me on the sofa. Kneeling at my feet, he began to massage my foot and toe, his face drawn in concern.

"Are you all right?" he whispered.

"I think I'll live."

"Bella!" Alice shouted. "I did it! I had sex with Jasper! And, oh, my god, it was spectacular. He has the hugest dick I've ever seen, and girl does he know how to use it. And he did this thing with his tongue where –"

She stopped as she reached the bottom step after leaping over the last few, a move that would have landed me in a full body cast, by the way. I wanted to laugh at the sight of her frozen in place, jaw completely unhinged, and her wide blue eyes fixed on Edward.

Edward looked no better. He stared back at her in shock and horror, obviously afraid of what her next words would have been and probably traumatized by the fact that he now knew Jasper had a huge dick. Not that he knew Jasper.

_Or maybe he did. Didn't Emmett say they were friends in Seattle? So if Jasper is Emmett's friend, maybe Edward met him before…ah! Focus, Bella, focus!_

"Well, that's…congratulations, I guess, Al. I mean, way to go? I'm sorry, I honestly don't know what to say here," I said, attempting to hide my laugh behind my hand. "Oh, by the way, Edward's here."

Alice narrowed her eyes at me and tilted her head to the side.

"Thanks, smartass, I didn't notice him kneeling at your feet." She stuck her tongue out at me before turning her attention back to Edward. "So, Edward Cullen, we meet again."

She stepped into the living room with her arms crossed over her chest, staring at Edward critically.

Edward released my foot and cleared his throat. Standing, he wiped his palms on his hands nervously before lifting one to push the glasses up his nose and then run it through his tousled hair. Alice cringed again.

"Hi, Alice," he said quietly.

Alice, whose head was almost completely bent backwards as she attempted to look up at him, placed her hands on her hips.

"I guess this is the part where I tell you that I'm trusting you to take care of my Bella here. She's very important to me and I don't let just any guy make out with her in dressing rooms or kidnap her for the evening, you know. Bella is not just my best friend, she's my sister, so I'm very protective of her. That being said, know that if you ever hurt her in any way, I am a hair stylist and I know my way around a razor and a pair of shears," she said, gesturing towards his groin. "So if you plan on keeping your twig and berries there, you best take care of my girl."

Edward was white as a sheet, and his hands instinctively moved to hover over his threatened manhood. I snickered and stood in front of him.

"Thanks for scaring the crap out of him, Al. You've played the protective parent role well." Edward stopped me with his hands on my hips.

"Alice…Bella is very important to me, as well. I would never hurt her. If I ever fail her in that way, you have my permission to…" he trailed off, and I felt a faint tremor roll through him.

Alice quirked an eyebrow and stared him down for a moment longer.

"Approval granted, then," she said, sniffing and marching towards the kitchen. Before she disappeared through the doorway, however, she shot me a wink over her shoulder.

I shook my head and smiled.

"Sorry about that," I murmured to Edward, turning to face him.

One side of his lips turned up and he actually let out a little laugh.

"It's okay. She's just looking out for you," he whispered.

"Actually I think she just wanted to see if she could make you squirm, and show you that she may be small, but she's full of spit and fire and can take you down in a second flat if you cross her," I replied.

He smiled and nodded his head. "So how'd I do?"

I moved my hands to his face and pulled him down so that I could look him in the eye.

"Perfectly perfect," I whispered before gently brushing my lips over his.

Edward sighed as his body seemed to melt against mine, his arms wrapping around me and pulling me close to him. My hands slid instinctively into his long hair as our lips continued to move languorously together. It was sweet and erotic all at the same time, and I was so close to saying 'screw work' and dragging him up to my bedroom and locking us away up there for the rest of the week.

"You two lovebirds want some coffee or are you just going to stay in there and suck face all day?" Alice called from the kitchen.

We broke apart with a regretful sigh, Edward squeezing my hips one last time before releasing me.

"Is your toe okay?" he asked, looking down at my foot.

"Yes, thank you," I said, smiling. "Come on, I owe you breakfast." I pulled him toward the kitchen with what was sure to be the goofiest grin on my face. "Do you like French toast?"

Suddenly, Alice was bouncing in front of me.

"With powdered sugar?" she asked, practically vibrating with excitement. "Ooh, and we have raspberries. Or strawberries? Can we have both? Oh, my God, Edward, Bella makes the best French toast…like it literally melts in your mouth. Wait until you taste it…"

I firmly planted my hands on her shoulders and pushed down to cease her bouncing.

"Calm down there, pixie. Yes, powdered sugar and fruit, just like you like it," I said, spinning her and pushing her toward the table. "Now why don't you put that energy to use and put some plates and silverware on the table?"

She did as I asked, skipping around the kitchen. I pulled Edward into the room and motioned for him to have a seat at the table. He appeared a bit anxious as he eyed Alice flitting between cabinets and the table.

"Like a puppy," I mouthed to him, causing him to smile and blush.

After the French toast was made and plated, Alice raced to the refrigerator to get the berries as I retrieved the syrup. Once everything was on the table, I began pouring some orange juice for Edward when I heard Alice whine behind me.

"Damn it, Bella, why do you keep the powdered sugar on the top shelf?" she groaned, jumping and reaching at the same time to try to get the yellow and blue box.

"Like you need easy access to sugar, Alice," I said. "Use a chair."

Alice spun around and smiled.

"Actually, we have a tall man in the house now, don't we? Edward, would you be a dear?" she said, pointing to the top shelf.

Edward looked between me and Alice before clearing his throat and rising from his chair. He wiped his palms on his jeans before approaching Alice and nodding. Alice stepped back as Edward reached up, causing his shirt to rise up a bit, showing a hint of skin at his side, and suddenly I was a drooling fool all over again.

Alice snickered, causing my eyes to dart toward her; she was looking at me and pointing.

"You are too easy, Bella," she said, laughing and smacking her leg in hysterics.

Edward handed her the box and looked at me, confused.

Alice regained her composure quickly and accepted the sugar from him.

"Thanks so much. Yes, it will certainly be handy having a man around the house, huh, Bella?"

"I'm sure Edward will be around a lot, Alice, so yes, it will be handy," I replied, reaching for Edward's hand and squeezing it. He bent down and placed a kiss on my forehead before taking his seat again. I glanced at Alice and noticed her eyes shining as she regarded us. She met my eyes and smiled softly at me. Yes, she could finally see it.

Fifteen minutes later, we all leaned back in our chairs and patted our bellies lazily. Alice continued to run her finger along the rim of her plate gathering powdered sugar dust, licking up every last flake. She was a sweets junkie.

"Did I tell you, Edward? Can our Bella make a mean French toast, or what?" Alice said, nodding at Edward.

"The best I've ever had," Edward answered quietly, smiling at me.

I returned his smile and sipped the last bit of coffee in my mug. I felt warm from the inside out as we sat there together, my Alice and my Edward getting along better than I could have hoped. Not once did it feel awkward or strained, and Edward seemed to relax a bit more the longer we sat. Alice had always been easy to get along with, no matter who you were. I shouldn't have been surprised that Edward was no different.

As I rose and began clearing plates, Edward stood as well and began to help me.

"I'll wash these up," he said softly, taking the plates from my hands.

"No, its okay," I protested.

"You cooked, I'll clean," he replied, shrugging and moving towards the sink.

Alice bit her lip and smiled at me.

"Oh, okay, thanks," I said. "I'll go take a quick shower and then we'll head out."

I heard his breath catch for a moment as his eyes flickered from me to Alice then back to me. I could tell he was nervous being left alone with Alice, but he had to get used to it. I nodded at him in encouragement, pleading with my eyes to try…for me.

He sighed and nodded almost imperceptibly back at me before turning back to the sink.

"How about you clean and I'll dry, Edward," Alice said, hopping up from her chair and grabbing a dish towel. He looked over at her and nodded again before turning on the water.

I watched the two of them for a moment, laughing to myself at the drastic height difference between them. Alice continued to talk to him about inconsequential things without coming on too strong, for which I was grateful. She was trying to make him comfortable. I knew I loved that girl for a reason.

I ended up having a longer shower than I anticipated, taking the time to clean every crack and crevice, wash and condition my hair, shave my legs and make sure my hoo-hoo was trimmed and tidy. After all, at the rate we were going, I wanted to be sure I looked my best for when Edward finally did see me completely naked.

Stepping out of the shower, I quickly dried off and brushed out my hair. I really didn't want to leave Alice and Edward alone for too long, especially knowing how Alice felt about Edward's hair. For all I knew, she could have him downstairs right now with his head bent over the kitchen sink, scrubbing and rinsing his hair before plopping him down in a chair and throwing a table cloth over his shoulders and grabbing her comb and shears.

That wouldn't send Edward spiraling into a major panic attack, no.

Gasping, I haphazardly wrapped the towel around my body and threw open the door, ready to run to his rescue. In the process, however, I ran directly into a hard, warm body, sending me flying backwards into the wall.

"Ow," I grumbled, opening my eyes to find Edward looking down at me in concern, his hands fluttering around me.

"Are you all right?" he asked, his eyes surveying my face.

I chuckled and shook my head.

"We have to stop doing this," I said, laughing again. "I mean, seriously, maybe I should wear a bell around my neck or something so that you know when I'm coming and can steer clear of any and all doorways."

He laughed and nodded his head.

"I think that's a good idea," he said, his eyes moving to my neck before widening, as if he just realized that I was only standing there in a towel. Actually, I had just realized that, myself.

Immediately my thoughts returned to last night to when Edward had rushed out of his bathroom in nothing but…well, nothing. I recalled the feel of him beneath my hands, his skin warm and damp from his shower, his breath against my cheek as his chest rose and fell against mine with his heavy breaths, the firmness of his ass as it clenched beneath my roving fingertips…

"Bella," Edward said, his voice raspy. I looked up into his green eyes to find them burning back at me. I knew that look now. In fact, it was quickly becoming my favorite Edward look.

"What are you doing up here?" I asked for some strange reason, not really caring _why_ he was here, just that he was.

"Alice asked me to carry a box up to her room," he replied distractedly, his eyes lingering at the swell of my breast peeking out of the top of my towel.

I watched his tongue slowly run along his bottom lip and that was it.

Grabbing his hand, I pulled him behind me into my room and threw the door shut, locking it behind me. Before I could blink, Edward was on me, pushing me against the door. His lips were urgent on mine, his tongue frantic as it swept into my mouth and sought out my own. We were moaning and writhing against each other as my hands clamped into his hair and his squeezed my ass, pulling me against him. I could easily feel his arousal hard and thick, even though the layers of denim and my towel.

My body felt electrified, that energy that only existed between Edward and me nearly consuming me at that moment. I was on fire, a pleasurable pain that I never wanted extinguished, not as long as Edward kept touching me. And oh, my god, how I wanted…needed him to touch me.

I needed to feel him. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew we didn't have much time, that we had to go in and open the store. But my desire for Edward blocked out all rational thought, as usual. And I didn't see him complaining.

My fingers moved to his shirt, pushing it down over his shoulders and sliding it down his arms before retrieving the hem of his t-shirt and ripping it over his head. Moaning, Edward's lips trailed down my jaw to my neck where he licked and nipped at my pulse as it beat rapidly in time with my heart. I clawed as his muscular back, digging my nails into his shoulders as he tasted my throat, my hips rolling instinctively towards his as his fingers dug into my ass. Suddenly I was cursing the damn towel between us. I wanted to be skin to skin with him, feel the heat of our bodies against each other, a physical reflection of the heat we felt for each other in our hearts.

Reaching between us, I pulled at the towel until it lay on the floor at my feet. I pushed my body tightly against his and whimpered at the feel of his bare chest against my own.

"Bella, I…I can't…can't stop," he moaned, reclaiming my lips as his hands gripped my back and hips almost painfully.

"Don't…don't stop," I replied breathlessly.

"You feel so good," he whispered against my lips. "I can't stop touching you. I want to touch you…all the time."

I could only moan wantonly in response, running my fingers down over his chest between us, scratching my nails over his nipples and reveling in his reaction as he growled and grabbed the globes of my ass, lifting me up against the door until I had no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist.

"I want you, so badly," he moaned. "I don't…don't know what to do."

Before I had a chance to respond, a rapid and insistent knocking came from behind me and for a moment I thought I was hallucinating.

"Yoo hoo! Bella, I don't mean to be a major cockblocker at the moment, but I just thought you should know that you have ten minutes before you're supposed to be at work if you still care about that. If you don't, however, please carry on. I will be inserting my ear buds and turning my iPod up _really_ loud right now while I get to work on some of these boxes so I will be none the wiser."

Edward and I both groaned in response, and through the door I could hear Alice laugh as she walked back down the stairs.

Edward's head dropped to my shoulder as we remained wrapped around each other, attempting to breathe normally again. I closed my eyes and dropped my head back against the door, willing my body to calm, which wasn't easy considering Edward's very hard and persistent erection was still pushed against me right _there_.

My fingers stroked gently through his hair, an action that I knew would calm us both. Finally, Edward lifted his head and I opened my eyes. I smirked as I watched his glasses de-fog after being pressed against my skin. Edward blinked a few times before smirking back at me.

"Well, so much for that," I said, trying not to whine and sound like a kid who just had her favorite toy snatched away.

"Come home with me again tonight," he whispered against my face. "Stay the night again."

Despite the fact that I was completely naked and wrapped around a half-naked Edward, feeling his toned, muscular shoulders bunch and flex beneath my fingers, I couldn't help but inwardly cringe at possibly another sleepless night with Edward the bed-hog. Not to mention the not so warm and fuzzy feelings I got from his parents, who would be just across the driveway, probably judging me and shaking their heads in dismay. But then I thought about the _other_ benefits of being alone with Edward for another entire night, and given the current state of my interrupted arousal, that thought outweighed any hesitations I had. Hell, I'd sacrifice another night of sleep just to feel his hands on my body some more.

I momentarily considered inviting him to sleep here at my house tonight, but one glance over at my small, twin sized bed and I knew that it wasn't even remotely a possibility with the way he slept.

"Please?" he whispered meekly, his green eyes pleading with mine as his hands ran up and down my naked back, as if a promise of things to come.

_Things to come…like me._

How could I say no to that?

"Okay," I replied, another goofy grin plastered to my face.

His smile lit up his entire face as I began to untangle my legs from around his waist. I slid slowly down the door until my feet hit the floor, but our arms never moved. I was still pressed tightly against his body, and he almost seemed afraid to move.

"What's the matter, baby?" I asked, rubbing my hands up and down his arms and willing them to loosen.

"I know you're…you're naked, and I can't…I can't look at you," he said, his voice trembling.

_What?_

My shock and horror must have registered on my face because his eyes widened and he quickly backpedaled.

"No, no, no, that came out wrong. I meant…that if I look at you, naked…completely, naked…like you are right now," his voice trailed off as his breathing picked up. His hands began roaming again, up over my ass and up my side, his thumb grazing the side of my breast and I let out a small groan of pleasure.

Quickly he spun around and took two large steps away from me. I stared at his naked back for a moment, the sudden shock of cold air against my heated skin startling me as he retreated.

His hands went to his hair, gripping it in his fists.

"If I look at your beautiful body right now, Bella, I won't let you leave this room," he nearly growled, and fuck me if I didn't feel that growl deep in my lower abdomen and spread to every nerve-ending in my hoo-hoo.

Taking a deep breath, I bent down and grabbed my discarded towel, wrapping it around my body.

"Okay, point taken. Freakin' work," I grumbled under my breath as I made my way to my closet and stepped inside.

I quickly dressed and stepped back into the room to find Edward still rooted in place. His hands were no longer in his hair but clenched in fists at his side. His body was trembling again.

Bending down, I retrieved his shirts from the floor before moving to stand in front of him. His breath hitched as I stepped into his line of sight before he visibly relaxed upon seeing me dressed. Leaning forward, I pressed a gentle kiss over his heart and handed him his shirts.

"I'm just going to pack a small bag for tonight and I'll meet you downstairs in two minutes, okay?" I said, smiling at him and encouraging him to relax. He exhaled heavily and nodded his head, offering me a soft kiss on the lips before throwing his t-shirt over his head and walking out of the room.

My entire body thrummed with unquenched desire and I knew this was going to be a long day.

~~DYDM~~

After brushing my teeth, pulling my hair back into a low ponytail, since it had mostly air-dried at this point anyway, and throwing some things into my small duffel bag, Edward and I endured a tense drive into work. I mean, the lust rolling off of us with palpable. I was surprised we couldn't see it, like little sparks shooting off our skin and zapping each other in the air around us. His hand kept gripping his thigh while his other hand drummed insistently against the steering wheel.

Alice had given me a look that said 'I'm sorry for cockblocking you' before I walked out the front door behind Edward. I smiled at her and shrugged my shoulders to say, 'what are you gonna do?'

_Freakin' work._

Pulling into the pharmacy parking lot, my eyes landed on my monstrosity of a vehicle and was happy to see she was unharmed. Not that I expected anyone to try to steal her or break into her or anything.

Edward quickly inserted his key and unlocked the back door to the store. We still hadn't spoken to each other since he walked out of my bedroom earlier. After unloading our coats and things into our lockers, I grabbed my time card and punched the clock, happy to see I was only two minutes late.

Edward flipped on the lights as I booted up the computers. The sounds of easy listening began crooning over the store speakers. That music, if that's what it could be called, was really starting to irritate me.

Thus our day began, and the energy between us only seemed to build and intensify with every passing minute. I was even too distracted to care about Jess and Lauren's whispers and snide remarks as they entered from the back. I dealt with the customers professionally and courteously, interacting with Edward when I had to relay a customer's question or when he needed to converse with a physician on the phone.

Whenever his eyes met mine, the smoldering emerald fire burning me to my very core, I would squeeze my thighs together as discreetly as I could to try to alleviate the pressure between my legs. My eyes moved to the clock and willed the time to move faster so that Edward and I could retreat to his little apartment above the garage and continue where we left off this morning.

After the lunch crowd died down and Edward and I had taken our individual breaks to inhale a quick lunch, I felt my hip buzzing.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I noticed a text from Alice.

_Sorry again about this morning. Meeting my lawyer in a few minutes to go over final details before closing tomorrow. Do you and Edward want to meet at Spank's tomorrow night for a little celebratory cocktail with me and Jasper?_

I grimaced, immediately feeling like a horrible best friend. Here I was all wrapped up in Edward-land this morning and didn't even think to talk to Alice about the fact that as of tomorrow she'd officially be the owner of her own salon, a dream come true for her. I immediately wrote her back.

_I wouldn't miss it, sister. I'll ask Edward if he wants to come along, but I will most definitely be there. Sleeping at Edward's again tonight so text me and let me know what time to meet you at the bar tomorrow night. Good luck with the closing! You're so awesome, Al _

After sending the text, I pushed my phone back into my pocket and looked out at the now empty store. Jess had her head down on the front counter while Lauren was comparing nail polish colors in the beauty aisle.

Stepping behind the counter in search of Edward, I found him standing in an aisle of bottles and staring at his clipboard with his brows furrowed in confusion.

"What's up?" I asked, noticing his bewilderment.

He shook his head and flipped a few pages on his clipboard, running his finger down the piece of paper as if he were scanning for something.

"I could've sworn…" he mumbled, trailing off as he flipped the pages back again. His eyes moved to the shelf in front of him then back down at the page.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Maybe I just miscounted," he said, more to himself than me, I thought.

I glanced at the clipboard and noticed it was the pharmacy's inventory list. I had seen the list before and had even helped Edward with the inventory once. I knew how organized he kept that list and how on top of things he always was back here. If he thought he miscounted something, I found that highly unlikely.

My eyes moved to the shelf in front of him, where I saw OXYCONTIN printed on the labels of the two boxes.

"Are you short?" I asked, my eyes moving back to the clipboard to see what he was looking at in such confusion.

He sighed and tapped his pen against his chin before shaking his head and returning to his stool behind the counter. Moving his computer mouse around, he pulled up an order form and began typing and clicking.

"Baby," I whispered, laying my hand on his shoulder and dragging my finger tips along the shell of his ear.

Edward shuddered and sucked in a breath, his green eyes glowing up at me.

"You okay?" I asked.

His hand immediately moved to the back of my thigh, pulling me closer to him as he rested his head against my chest, like he had done the day before.

"No I am not okay. I need you like I need to breathe right now," he whispered, and I could hear the urgency in his soft voice. His hand tightened on my thigh.

"Me too, baby," I said, placing a kiss to the top of his head. "Not much longer now."

~~DYDM~~

A few minutes before three o'clock, I heard whistling coming from the back room before the door opened and James stepped through. Rolling my eyes, I began to straighten up behind the counter, my eyes continuing to check the clock every thirty seconds. I hoped Tanya showed up on time because I was beyond ready to get the hell out of there.

James continued to whistle as he stepped behind the pharmacy counter. Glancing over at him, I watched as he approached me with a smirk on his face.

"Beautiful Bella, aren't you a sight for sore eyes," he said, placing his hand dramatically over his heart.

I cleared my throat and fought back the urge to vomit all over his boots.

"James," I muttered in acknowledgment.

"Car trouble last night, Bella?" he asked, false sincerity written all over his face.

"Huh?" I asked, confused.

"Well, I just noticed that your truck was still in the parking lot when I closed last night. How did you get home, anyway?" he asked, the smirk returning.

Here was my pickle. I knew Edward and I hadn't really discussed our new relationship in terms of "outing" ourselves at work; however, we didn't really do much to hide our feelings for each other. It had to be obvious, the way we always sought out those subtle touches and hidden embraces in the back of the pharmacy.

But did I come right out and say that we were together? I should probably talk to Edward about it first. So for now, I could be vague.

"Uh, yeah. Actually, Edward gave me a ride," I responded, turning my attention to the bins behind me and pretending to organize the alphabetized prescription bags.

"I bet he did," James said, the tone of his voice a bit too suggestive for my taste.

Before I could ask him what the hell he meant by that, he was already behind the partition.

"What's up, Eddie? Busy day today?" he asked loudly.

"No," Edward replied quietly.

I looked up at the clock again. It was now officially three o'clock.

_Come on, Tanya._

Edward stepped down and moved toward me. He offered me an apologetic smile, knowing I was beyond anxious to leave and had yet to be reprieved.

"I'll wait in the back for you," he whispered as close to me as he could possibly get without us appearing too affectionate.

"No, why don't you just go. I don't want you stuck here waiting for me. I'll drive myself over to your place. I remember how to get there."

James began whistling again, this time to the tune of _Sexual Healing._

I turned and stared at him incredulously.

"What?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "I just heard it in the car and now its stuck in my head." Winking at me, he pulled on his lab coat and sat down behind the computer, effectively removing him from my sight…thankfully.

"Anyway," I whispered back to Edward. "You should go."

Edward shook his head. "No, I'll stay. I have to ask Tanya a question, anyway."

"Oh, okay," I said, shrugging. "She shouldn't be too much longer, right?"

He shot me a look before glancing up at the clock.

"Right?" I asked again, more emphatically this time.

"Hopefully," he replied.

At three fifteen, I waited on another customer, just a quick prescription pick up, and glared at the clock.

At three twenty-five, I was leaning over the counter and drumming my fingers anxiously against my elbows.

At three thirty, I was about ready to pummel James if he asked me one more time if I was late for something.

Finally, at three forty-five, the back door opened and a gorgeous woman with strawberry blonde hair that hung past her shoulders in perfect, bouncy waves stepped into the store. She was wearing a silk cream blouse and tan dress slacks with leopard print heels.

_Leopard print? Seriously? In a drug store?_

I straightened up and watched her walk gracefully behind the pharmacy counter, brushing her hair over her shoulder as she looked me up and down.

"Beth, is it?" she asked, her voice rich and melodious. I took the time to notice her flawless features, her bright blue eyes and perfect pink lips. She didn't have a single pock mark, pimple or laugh line anywhere on her face.

This right here was a beautiful woman. I felt myself shrink back a little, ashamed of my mousy appearance and dull hair sullying any molecule of air surrounding all of her perfection.

"Hello?" she asked. I blinked and realized she was speaking to me.

"I'm sorry, what?"

She laughed and did another hair toss over the shoulder.

"I said, your name is Beth, right?"

"Oh…um, no, it's Bella, actually."

"Tanya Denali," she said strongly, stretching out her hand.

I grasped it delicately in mine, afraid I'd get her dirty or something.

"It's nice to meet you, Tanya," I said. She raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth before pressing her lips together.

"Sure, call me Tanya," she said, rolling her shoulder and offering a fake smile.

_Oh, was I supposed to call her Ms. Denali? Why? Everyone else here goes by their first name, and I could've sworn I heard Mary refer to her as Tanya. It's not like she owns the joint._

"Good afternoon, Ms. Denali," James said, stepping out from behind the partition.

_Shit._

Edward, who had decided to occupy himself by organizing the toothbrushes in the tooth care aisle, appeared in front of the counter. His trembling hand passed through his unruly hair before straightening the glasses on his nose.

"Tanya, can I ask you a quick question?" he asked meekly.

_See, he called her Tanya. _

_Yeah, but he's known her since he was a kid._

She gave James an indulgent smile before turning toward Edward. Her eyes widened minutely before her soft lips turned up into a grin.

"Edward…are you wearing jeans?" she asked, astonished.

Edward looked down at himself, as if he had forgotten what he dressed himself in this morning, before lifting his head and nodding once. He didn't look her in the eye.

"Well, that's certainly a different look for you. Very…casual," she said, nearly choking on the last word.

"James wears jeans," I blurted out, the words falling out of my mouth before I even had a chance to think them. Apparently, I felt the need to defend Edward's choice of clothing, probably because I was the one who convinced him to dress more…casual.

Tanya's blue eyes sparkled back at me, and I couldn't tell if I had royally pissed her off or if she just thought I was the most amusing thing in the world.

"Yes, well…it doesn't really matter. No one sees much of him behind here, anyway," she said, rolling her eyes. "Welcome aboard, Beth." She offered me another plastic smile and moved behind me, effectively dismissing me.

"James, I'm going to spend most of the afternoon redoing the window display in the front. I decided to revamp my fall theme and add a few more Halloween things in there," Tanya said, fingering through a stack of papers under the counter.

"Not a problem, Ms. Denali," James replied, his tone suddenly changed. Even his voice sounded different, higher or lighter or something. Not the smooth, husky voice I was used to hearing from him. "Just let me know if you need any help carrying boxes again."

_What a kiss-ass._

"Uh, Tanya?" Edward asked, his voice wavering a bit.

Tanya huffed and rolled her eyes again, and I felt my irritation return in force.

_Bitch. He just needs to ask you a question._

"What is it, Edward?" she replied, sounding exasperated.

Edward shifted on his feet, still not looking her in the eye, as he cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair again.

"Did you move a shipment of Oxycontin from the back by any chance?" he asked quietly, and I noticed his hands begin to tremble at his side. I felt a pang in my chest at his growing anxiety.

She scoffed and shook her head, and it was like I could hear her silently screaming at how pathetic she thought he was. I wanted to throw Tanya into a pit with Jessica and Lauren and just set it on fire.

_Whoa. Angry much? Where did these murderous and violent thoughts come from?_

_Yeah, well, Edward in turmoil brings out the Mama Bear in me, what can I say?_

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed James slowly slink back behind the pharmacy partition.

"I'm not the pharmacist, Edward, so what would I need with a shipment of Oxycontin?" Tanya replied.

Edward's eyes flashed back towards James for a moment before lowering to the floor again. He pushed his glasses up his nose and nodded.

"Right, I…I was just checking," he said quietly.

She arched a perfectly sculpted brow. "Why, did you lose it?"

He looked up at her, panicked.

"No…no, I…I just miscounted on the inventory, that's all," he said, shrugging.

She sighed and began moving to the front of the store.

"Edward, we can't afford any slip ups here, and you know how anal Eleazar is about the inventory. I'd hate for him to have to call you out on this," she said loudly as she disappeared down an aisle.

_Would I get fired if I jumped on her back and ripped her perfect hair from her head in clumps?_

My hands clenched into fists at my sides before I tore my eyes away from her retreating form and went to find Edward. He was still standing in the same spot, but he was staring forlornly at his shoes. He looked so defeated it nearly killed me.

Without so much as a goodbye to James or anyone else, I stepped out from behind the pharmacy counter. When I reached the door, I looked back at Edward, who was now watching me. I raised my hand slightly and motioned for him to follow me before opening the door and stepping inside, where I quickly punched my timecard.

_Better get freakin' overtime for punching out almost an hour past my shift. And Tanya better get a watch because I won't stand for this shit._

At my locker, I slid into my coat and picked up my purse. Edward came in a minute later and approached his locker, opening it and removing his own coat. His movements were slow and sluggish, and the mood rolling off of him was a complete one-eighty from the lust that had been exuding from him an hour earlier.

"Baby," I said quietly, putting my hands on his arms and making him face me.

His green eyes, dull and sad, looked up at me hesitantly.

"Shake it off. I know I just met the woman, but I get the impression that she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about when it comes to anything other than decorating windows or herself. Just because her brother owns this place, however, makes her think she has the right to talk to her employees like they're helpless children with an IQ of about fifteen. I know you better than she does, even though she's known you your whole life, and I know there's no way you miscounted anything. If there are boxes missing, there has to be another explanation for it. Maybe they were just misplaced. And remember, baby, you're not the only pharmacist who works here. I bet James the brown-nosing creep probably put them on the wrong shelf or something because he's an idiot."

I inhaled deeply because I hadn't breathed much during my little rant. I watched as a little light sparkled behind Edward's eyes again, and his lips turned up slightly in the corners.

I returned his smile and brushed the hair out of his forehead, tangling my fingers in his hair and holding them there a moment. He closed his eyes and sighed, leaning into my touch. My heart swelled and my eyes stung with tears. I was in so deep here. And while I didn't think I could say the words to him yet, I knew that what I felt for Edward was love. Emotions so strong and fierce ripped through me whenever I was with him, or thought about him, or dreamed about him, or talked about him…he was everywhere and everything.

_I just wish I could tell him._

Sighing I lowered my hand and shut my locker.

"Let's go, baby. I believe we have some unfinished business to attend to," I purred, wanting to lighten the mood and get us back to…well, us.

And just like that, the emerald fire in his eyes ignited as his lips parted and he expelled a harsh breath. His tongue crept out and moistened his lower lip, and my body reacted, imagining all the things I wish he would do with that tongue.

Grabbing my hand, Edward nearly yanked my arm out of the socket, pulling me from the store and to the parking lot. I giggled at his sudden confidence, finding it sexy as hell that he was just as eager as I was to reconnect.

_Practice makes perfect._

**A/N: **As always, many thanks to **jennde** for taking the time to make this look pretty. And thank you for all the amazing reviews and for all who rec this story in their own amazing fics. Last, but certainly not least, I have to thank my team of cheerleaders over at the forum for making me smile with all their theories and gripes and for loving Shyward as much as I do. If you want to join us, visit us at the forum at www(dot)twilighted(dot)net / forum / ?f=44&t=9729&start=1470


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Just a quick thank you for all the reviews! And as always a special thanks to my awesome beta, **jennde**. Happy New Year!

**Chapter 14**

I was quickly realizing that Edward was never more beautiful to me than when he came apart in my arms. The look of sheer rapture and bliss on his face, his eyes clenched tight, and his mouth hanging open in a silent scream…_beautiful_.

We had hardly made it through his front door. Luckily we drove separately to his place because had I rode with him, we probably wouldn't have made it out of the Forks Pharmacy parking lot. But I didn't want to leave my truck there overnight again, especially after James' little comment, so I followed behind his Volvo, catching his eyes looking back at me through the rearview mirror so many times I was surprised he didn't drive off the road.

Edward pulled me up the outside stairs so fast I was amazed my penchant for falling didn't come into play. Apparently, my lust-hazed brain was only focused on getting through that door and feeling Edward's hands on me. I didn't realize until later that I didn't even think to look toward the main house to see if his parents were home.

Twenty minutes later, we lay on a pile of coats in his entryway with our jeans and underwear shoved down to our knees, my shirt pushed up over my chest and my bra ripped in half and hanging off my shoulders. We were a panting, sweaty, blissfully sated mess, having brought each other to a much needed release with just our hands. Edward's head rested on my chest as I ran my fingers through his hair, his hand gently caressing my breast and making my already sensitive skin tingle in pleasurably painful ways.

"You're amazing," he said softly, causing me to smile.

"So are you," I replied in a whisper before kissing the top of his head.

After another minute, Edward sighed heavily. "I suppose we should get off the floor," he mumbled.

I giggled and nodded my head.

We dislodged ourselves from each other before righting our clothing and standing. My bra was a hopeless cause, and memories from just moments before of Edward's hasty hands tearing the garment apart in sexual frustration caused my hoo-hoo to throb once again.

_That was so hot._

Sliding my arms out of my shirt, I pulled the destroyed bra off before putting my shirt back on. Edward glanced at me apologetically.

"I'll buy you a new one," he said sheepishly.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"Baby, you can rip my underwear off any time you want," I purred, moving closer to him and slinking my hand up around his neck. Edward released a little growl before planting a passionate kiss against my lips.

"Thanks for the permission," he moaned.

Our little flirt session quickly turned heated and yet again, we were gripping at each other like our lives depended on it.

Edward had the strength to pull back first and rested his forehead against mine, his eyes closed tightly.

"I'm not being a very good host. I should at least let you in the apartment completely before…"

"Ravaging me again?" I finished for him.

He chuckled and nodded his head against mine. Stepping away from me, he leaned down and retrieved our coats off the floor before hanging them in the closet.

"Make yourself at home," he said, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the mini-fridge. He handed the bottle to me before excusing himself to go to the bathroom.

I dropped unceremoniously onto the sofa with a big smile on my face, reveling in the feelings coursing through me for this man. With the way my entire body came to life in his presence, and damn near exploded with the slightest touch of his fingers, I didn't think this whole "going slow" thing was going to be easy to stick to. I wanted him so badly, in so many ways. A thought that also scared me to death because of my past experience. Mike's comment was on constant replay in the back of my mind, and I couldn't help the sadness that encompassed me when I thought that I may just be no good at sex and would disappoint Edward greatly. I knew Edward was just as inexperienced as me; in fact he was a virgin and had no idea what to expect. Perhaps that should have comforted me somehow, but it didn't. His first time should be earth-shattering and fireworks, not a roll in the hay with a dead fish.

And on top of that, Edward said he loves me. He's in love with me. So making love with me was probably something he'd been looking forward to for a while, and was expecting to be the most amazing experience of his life.

No pressure or anything.

Sighing despondently, my mood suddenly darker, I resigned myself to the fact that despite our deep feelings for each other, I couldn't disappoint him that way. While I knew sex was inevitable with the way we couldn't keep our hands off each other, I had to delay it for as long as possible. Surely Edward wouldn't feel the same way about me after what was sure to be a complete let down for him.

Uncapping the bottle, I took a swig of water and let my eyes wander around the room in an attempt to distract myself from my depressing thoughts. They landed on the guitar tucked into the corner, reminding me of how much I still didn't really know about Edward.

He walked back into the room with a smile on his face and carrying something in his hand. He placed a picture frame on the side table and I immediately recognized it as the one from his bedroom that contained the picture of Edward and his family on his graduation day. Turning to me, his smile still in place, he pushed his glasses up his nose and dropped to the sofa next to me, taking my hand in his.

I looked at the frame and then at him, raising my eyebrows in silent question. He merely shrugged in response and I had to laugh at us practically carrying on a conversation without words.

Leaning in, he captured my lips in a gentle kiss, his hand moving to my neck where his thumb moved softly against my cheek. Pulling back slightly, I stared into his green eyes, which I noticed turned slightly darker when things between us turned hot and heavy, and found myself getting lost. I felt so much for him and it was getting more difficult to contain.

His eyes seemed to see right through me and read my mind because his face softened and his lips turned up in a small smile before he smoothed the hair back away from my face. The only way I could describe the look in his eyes was one of love.

Needing to pull myself out of this deep pool of emotions swirling within me, I tried to think of something else. My eyes moved from his and fell back on the guitar.

"I never knew you played guitar," I said, grinning at him.

Edward blushed and lowered his eyes, shrugging one shoulder minutely.

"I dabble," he replied.

"Dabble?"

"Well…I've played for a while, since high school."

"Oh? Did you take lessons?"

He shook his head. "Taught myself."

"Really? That's impressive," I said. "Are you any good?"

Edward smirked and shrugged again, modest to a fault.

"Will you play for me?" I asked earnestly.

His green eyes shot up to mine and I detected a hint of panic in them.

"You…you want me to play…with you here?"

"Well, yeah," I replied.

His eyes darted nervously to the guitar.

"Um…I've, I've never…played in front of anyone…" he muttered, running his trembling hand through his hair.

I took his hand in mind and removed it from his head before sliding my body closer to his. With my free hand, I placed it on his face and made sure he was looking into my eyes.

"Hey, if you don't want to, that's fine. I don't want to force you. I just thought it would be one more piece of you that I'd get to discover. There's still so much that I don't know about you, baby, and I want, so much, to know the man I'm falling so hard for," I whispered against his lips.

Edward moaned and completely melted against me. His kiss was searing and filled with passion, our lips now so familiar with each other that they moved together effortlessly.

"Was that a yes?" I panted, completely out of breath after Edward pulled back.

"Like I could say no to you," he said, breathing heavily.

I smiled at him as he rose from the couch and made his way over to the chair in the corner, picking up his guitar along the way. Positioning himself on the edge of the chair, he widened his legs to accommodate the guitar before he pulled a pick from in between the strings at the neck and began playing a few soft chords.

The sight of him bent over his guitar, his eyes glued to his fingers as they stretched and closed over the chords fluidly did something to me. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and as I watched the muscles of his forearms move, I became entranced. His long hair flopped over his face, shielding his expression from me, and his right foot began to tap lightly against the floor in rhythm with the tune he began to play.

Suddenly, he stopped and cleared his throat, chancing a glance at me.

"I…I can, um, play a song for you…if you want?" he asked, the uncertainty evident in his voice.

I smiled widely and nodded in encouragement.

Edward cleared his throat a few more times before he took a deep breath and released it slowly. I hated that he was so nervous, and that it was my fault he was feeling that way, but at the same time I couldn't help but feel proud of him for opening himself up this way to another person. I knew that I brought him some type of comfort; he even said that I was his peace, but doing something like playing an instrument in front of another person, having never done so before, could be quite intimidating.

After a brief silence, Edward began to pluck the strings expertly in a melody, strong and loud. His fingers then moved into chords, sliding along the frets, and his body rocked slightly with the rhythm.

It was beautiful. _He_ was beautiful. My heart damn near seized with the emotion overload I was suddenly experiencing.

Edward was playing the guitar for me, overcoming his nerves and anxiety just to make me happy. And that's why I was surprised when he began to sing, as well.

_I'm here again  
A thousand miles away from you  
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am  
I tried so hard  
Thought I could do this on my own  
I've lost so much along the way_

I gasped, my hand raising to cover my heart in an attempt to keep it from bursting out of my chest. His voice was gritty and sexy, and he sang completely on key. I never would have thought Edward could sing so beautifully, but I found him surprising me at every turn lately.__

Then I see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole

Tears welled in my eyes, and my throat constricted. __

I've come undone  
But you make sense of who I am  
Like puzzle pieces in your hand.

His voice grew even stronger, drawing out the last word. I gave up trying to hold them back as the tears fell down my cheeks, but I kept silent, not wanting to interrupt him.__

Then I see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole.

Suddenly the rhythm picked up and he strummed harder, his entire body moving now, swaying back and forth.

_I tried so hard! So hard!  
I tried so hard!_

He wailed out the lyrics, his eyes still glued to his fingers. I wished he'd look at me.__

Then I see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole  
So you can make me whole.

His voice trailed off as he played the final notes, and then stopped. The music reverberated throughout the room for a moment. Edward was panting, but he still wouldn't look in my direction.

I couldn't hold back. Before I could think, I was off the couch and on my knees in front of him, grabbing his face in my hands and forcing him to look at me.

I knew my face was saturated with my tears, and that snot was probably running from my nose, but I didn't care. I just needed him to see me.

"Edward, I…"

_Say it, just tell him! You can't hold it in anymore._

"I…"

_Don't be a coward. You know how you feel. He needs to know, too. Tell him!_

"Bella?" he whispered, removing the guitar from between us and laying it on the floor without taking his eyes off of me. Now that his hands were free, he moved his fingers across my cheeks, wiping away my tears before pressing his fingertips along the bones under my eyes and offering me a weak smile. That now-familiar gesture that he had initiated that first day in the pharmacy wrenched a sob from me.

"Was that all right?" he whispered again, the uncertainty and anxiety flashing behind his eyes as he regarded me warily.

_He practically bared is soul to you, overcoming his anxiety to sing and play for you. Tell him!_

"It's true, you know…" he said, still speaking in whispers as I attempted to quell the constant sobs building in my throat. "You make me whole, make me the man I want to be. I didn't know who I was or where I belonged until you, Bella."

My mind warred with my body as my throat tightened around the words I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that I was falling in love with him, that he had so quickly become my world. I wanted to let him know that I felt the same way, that I belonged with him, too.

But my own stupid doubt and lack of self-esteem kept me from speaking those words to him out loud. I couldn't disappoint him like I feared I would. I couldn't let him know how attached I was to him now and watch it all get ripped away from me when he discovered that I'm just a bumbling, clumsy idiot that could do nothing for him in the physical gratification department.

_But wait, what have you two been doing the past few days then? I'd say you both found some major physical gratification…multiple times._

I wanted to scream in frustration, and to drown out the relentless back and forth happening in my head.

Edward stared down at me perplexed, his fingers still rubbing under my eyes.

"Are you all right?" he asked. "Did I…did I do something wrong?"

_Great, now Edward is feeling guilty because you can't open your mouth and speak, you emotionally crippled moron._

Unable to look him in the eye any more, I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder, squeezing him tightly.

"No, no baby. You did everything right," I whispered against his neck. He shuddered slightly and pulled me tighter against him.

After a moment, I noticed Edward was slightly rocking us back and forth, and realizing that he was attempting to soothe _me_ this time nearly brought me to my breaking point.

I decided there and then that I couldn't allow my fucked up relationship history, if I could call it that since my history only included one quick and humiliating "relationship" and one teenage infatuation, completely ruin what could possibly be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I wanted Edward, but I knew that I had to tell him everything. Then maybe he'd understand why I was acting completely mental at the moment.

And perhaps by airing my own dirty laundry, he'd feel compelled to do the same and finally let me know what happened in New Hampshire, and who this mystery girl was.

I needed strength to do this, and since I found my strength in Edward these days, I needed to be closer to him. Pulling back, I stood on shaky legs and offered him my hand. He stared up at me for a moment before taking my hand and rising. Pulling him behind me, I led us into his bedroom.

Sitting us on the edge of his bed, I leaned over and flicked on the small lamp on his bedside table, only to gasp in surprise after my eyes fell on the space where that picture from his graduation had been.

In its place now sat another picture frame, displaying a photo of me. I recognized it immediately. It was a close up of my face and I was actually genuinely smiling, with a few strands of hair blowing across my face. I knew the picture had been cropped, however. Had I been looking at the actual photo, I'd see Alice posing right next to me with her own big smile and cheeks painted in gold and purple.

The picture was taken at Homecoming our senior year. Alice had dragged me there, which was usually how she got me places, but I had refused to paint my face. I didn't mind sitting in the stands and watching the game, allowing Alice's excitement and enthusiasm to infect me as we cheered on our football team. A friend of ours who was on the yearbook staff was walking around the stands taking a variety of candid photos. She stopped and asked us to pose for one. I refused immediately, but Alice insisted. Rolling my eyes, I leaned in close to her and just before the shot was taken, Alice began to tickle me within an inch of my life. I laughed and pushed her hands away before we both looked back at the camera and the flash went off.

"Where did you get this?" I asked him in shock.

Edward ducked his head and smiled.

"Stole it from the yearbook office," he said.

I looked at him in surprise. "You stole it?"

"Well, technically I borrowed it. I took it home and scanned it into my computer, then returned it."

"Wait, you…you've had this since high school?" I asked in bewilderment.

Edward looked at me and nodded, his eyes now showing concern.

"I knew…I knew that I wouldn't see you again after graduation, and I…I just wanted to be able to look at your face," he whispered, running his fingertips down my cheekbone.

I knew my mouth was hanging open in awe at how utterly amazing he was, surprising me yet again.

"So I kept it with me," he continued, "tucked away in my drawer, and looked at it from time to time whenever I felt your face fading from my memories. I love this picture of you. You laughing, your cheeks flushed from the cold, the wisps of hair blowing across your face making you look so carefree and unburdened. You look…happy. That's how I always wanted to remember you. But now…now I can gaze upon the real thing, and this can simply be a picture of my girlfriend that I keep by my bed."

I smiled at him and ran my fingers through his hair, now out of habit.

"Will you ever stop blowing me away with how wonderful you are?" I asked, shaking my head in amazement.

Edward blushed and leaned in to my touch.

"You make me feel that way," he whispered, turning his head and laying a gentle kiss against my palm.

I sighed and lowered my hand as well as my gaze.

"I need…I need to tell you some things about me. I don't want us to have any secrets," I said, lifting my eyes and staring directly into his. His eyes widened for a moment and he sucked in a breath, holding it.

"Edward? You okay?"

He exhaled heavily and nodded his head, moving his eyes away. I knew where his mind was just then, somewhere in New Hampshire with a girl I knew nothing about.

Deciding to press on, I lay down on the bed and pulled a startled Edward down beside me. He looked confused, and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Being close to you helps," I whispered meekly. He pressed his lips together and placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezing in reassurance. I tangled my legs in his and closed my eyes for a moment, allowing myself to let his presence wrap around me in security.

"I know I mentioned a few things about my past relationships yesterday in the meadow, but I need to tell you everything before we go any further because…because I don't think I can get any closer to you until you know why I have some reservations…"

My throat tightened again, making me choke on my words, but Edward's hand slid from my shoulder and moved to my back where he rubbed it in slow circles. Thankfully, he remained silent. His touch helped me find my voice again. Opening my eyes, I fixed my gaze on his, anchoring myself.

"Before you, I've only ever had two boyfriends my whole life. My first relationship, Jacob, was an innocent teenage fling. Of course, at the time I thought I was hopelessly in love with him and that we'd be together for the rest of our lives." I took a moment to roll my eyes at my own adolescent stupidity.

"Anyway, his dad and my dad were best friends, so I really knew Jacob since we were toddlers. I guess once we reached our teen years our hormones made themselves known and since we were always together, we'd see what it was like to be boyfriend and girlfriend. It was freshman year of high school and I swear my whole world revolved around him, like he was my own personal sun or something equally ridiculous.

"We didn't really do much other than kiss. I mean, becoming physically intimate was something new to both of us, and really, now that I think about it, Jacob was more like a brother to me, having grown up with the guy and all. So we only ever kissed. Still, my heart was tied to him back then, and that's why when I found out, and not by him, mind you, but his friend Paul, that he was cheating on me with some girl named Leah, it…broke me. I was devastated. When I finally had a chance to confront him about it, he told me that he couldn't help it, that Leah was his soul mate and the force between them was too strong to fight. Of course, being the lovesick dumbass that I was, I hung on his every word, believing him.

"I cried over Jacob for a month. Alice helped pull me out of my funk and see the light, which was the fact that Jacob was a lying, cheating jerk. Fortunately, Charlie stopped dragging me down to the rez with him when he'd visit Billy since I was old enough to stay home alone at that point. I didn't see Jake any more after that, and last I heard he moved up north…alone.

"Still, I couldn't help but think maybe he dumped me and ran into Leah's arms because she could give him more than I could, you know…physically. Like I wasn't satisfying his needs. He was a teenage boy, after all, and I know he wanted to do more than just some innocent kissing."

I felt Edward's hand on my back stop its movement. His eyes darkened, but not in lust this time. It was something else. Something more sinister. I'm sure he would've liked to have gone back in time and kicked Jake's ass if he could.

"So anyway, as you know, I spent the rest of high school single. When I got to U-Dub, my life changed. Alice wasn't with me anymore, and I didn't expect it would be so difficult to adjust to her absence. I mean, we were inseparable in high school. I relied on her guidance too much. When I met Mike, he was funny, cute, and very attentive, practically begging me to go out with him. I knew if I had Alice there with me, though, she would've seen right through him.

"I actually got up enough guts to attend a party with some people from my Lit class. It was at one of the frat houses. Alice told me I should go, as part of the "entire college experience". Watching a bunch of drunk jocks and clingy girls playing beer pong and throwing up in the bushes wasn't exactly my idea of a good time, but I went anyway. Being me, I walked through the front door and tripped on the threshold, falling into the guy in front of me. He fell, too, hurting his arm, but when we finally got back to our feet and I began apologizing profusely, he smiled at me and I thought I was a goner. One thing led to another and we officially became a couple.

"Being with Mike was nothing like being with Jake. For all intents and purposes, I was in an adult relationship, albeit rated PG-13. I was still a virgin, and Mike continually told me that he'd wait until I was ready. That he just liked being close to me. We did…things. I had a few firsts with Mike. I admit, though, that none of it did anything for me. And I didn't understand why. I mean…why I couldn't…you know…" I trailed off, feeling my cheeks heat up.

Edward remained silent.

"I thought there was something wrong with me, and that scared me. I thought I was in love with Mike, and I didn't want to lose what we had, but how could it have been okay if I wasn't feeling…satisfied…due to the fact that there was something wrong with me physically? So after four months together, Mike started getting more…insistent. He'd actually whine to me that we should take our relationship to the next level, that he knew I was ready. So basically, yeah, he decided for me, and I was so hung up on not being able to get off that I thought I should just get it over with and maybe that would be the answer, that after we had sex whatever was wrong inside my body would right itself and we could move past it.

"So, I told him yes. I wanted it to mean something, though, too. I mean, I was a believer in making love. I didn't want it to be just sex. I was giving him my virginity. So that night, we were in his dorm room after his roommate went home for the weekend, and we were…whatever…and I told him I loved him. He just smiled and kissed me before taking off the rest of my clothes, and…we did it. And it was horrible," I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut to keep the memory from replaying itself in my mind.

I felt Edward began to tremble against me and his grip tightened around my side, but I couldn't stop the words from spilling out of my mouth. I just had to get this all out of my head so I could finally let it go.

"I didn't know what to do other than open my legs. I knew Mike wasn't a virgin, so I kind of thought maybe he'd tell me what I should do or how he wanted me, but all he did was lay on top of me and grunt and groan. And it _hurt_…like, really hurt. My insides felt like they were on fire. And he was…rough and sweaty, and all I could do was lay there with my hands on his shoulders. A whole two minutes later, and I know because I had been watching the clock by the bed, it was over. Mike rolled off of me and pulled his pants back on. He just walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, leaving me there in the dark, wondering what the hell had just happened. After ten minutes he still hadn't come out, so I just got dressed and left.

"After I got home I called Alice and cried to her about how horrible the whole experience was. I mean, I thought maybe it was supposed to be? I had heard girls say their first times were nothing but uncomfortable and awkward, but then it only got better from there. But Alice got angry and told me that he didn't take care of me the way he should have, that he should have been more gentle and cuddled with me afterwards. Or, at the very least, _talked_ to me. I don't think I ever heard Alice curse so much.

"I didn't hear much from him for the whole week after. I got his voicemail whenever I called him, and he'd always conveniently call me back when I was in class and couldn't answer my phone, leaving me vague voicemails about catching up with me later. The following weekend I decided to just go and see him. While I was walking through his dorm, I noticed people looking at me and pointing, snickering and whispering to each other. And then…as I was walking by the student lounge, I heard…I heard some girls talking…about Mike and me. They said, 'Yeah, Mike said he was done with her, that no way was she worth the effort any more now that she finally gave it up. He said he felt like he was fucking a dead fish'."

Edward sucked in a quick breath. My eyes were glued to the comforter at this point. I couldn't look at him now.

"My stomach dropped and my heart shattered. I was beyond humiliated. When I finally pushed myself to go to Mike's room, I got straight to the point. I asked him if he said those things about me and he just looked at me and shrugged. That was all the confirmation I needed. Then he proceeded to tell me that things weren't working for him and he needed a clean break. So not only did I leave with a broken heart, but with the memory of those harsh and embarrassing words echoing through my brain. I even used to have dreams about seeing myself flopping around naked on a wet dock gasping for breath, my mouth opening and closing like a fish until finally I just lay there dead."

I started sobbing and Edward gathered me to his chest. I cried against him for a few minutes as he whispered quiet words into my hair. When I finally composed myself, I pulled away from him and sat up on my knees, wiping my cheeks.

"Anyway, the point of me telling you all of this wasn't so you could join me in my own little pity party," I said. "I just needed you to know what happened to me. Like I said, I don't want there to be any secrets between us."

Edward sighed and sat up next to me.

"Bella, I'm…I appreciate you sharing all of that with me, as painful as I know it must have been for you. I am so sorry you had to go through that. And trust me when I say that douchebag Mike didn't deserve the tremendous gift you gave to him. Alice was right, he didn't treat you the way he should have. And for him to say such harsh things about you and spread nasty rumors…he took complete advantage of your innocence and can only be considered a coward and a lowlife," Edward spat.

My eyes widened as I looked up at him, his cheeks flushed and his nostrils flaring as he breathed heavily. His green eyes blazed in anger and I noticed his fists clench against his knees.

"That being said, love…I can't help but wonder why you felt so compelled to tell me all of this," he murmured. "I'm glad you feel comfortable enough with me to let me in, but you seemed very adamant that I knew all of this. Why is that?"

I blinked at him a few times, but the tears blurred my vision.

"Because," I choked out. "You need to know why I can't have sex with you."

~DYDM~

**A/N 2**: It has been brought to my attention that the Denali-owned Forks Pharmacy does not adhere to the strict guidelines that all narcotics must be locked in a password-protected lock drawer of some type wherever they are dispensed. I apologize for not being up-to-date on pharmacy guidelines, as the pharmacy where I worked 15 years ago simply had the drugs up on shelves much like I describe in this story (and I'm basing Forks Pharmacy on the pharmacy where I worked). I had no intention of offending any pharmacists or pharmacy techs out there. All I can say that this is a work of FICTION and I guess I'm taking a few liberties here to further the plot in my story. I am a writer, a mom, and a project manager for a forensic engineering firm. Obviously, I am not a pharmacist. Like I've said before, the pharmacy is just the backdrop for the story…the focus is Edward and Bella. So to all the pharmacists/pharmacy techs out there reading this story, please take the "pharmacy workings" with a grain of salt and hopefully you're actually reading this for the romance, humor and slight angst, and not for the details of what's going on in the pharmacy, itself. Thank you.

**A/N 3: **The song Edward sang in this chapter is _Pieces_ by Red.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Chapter 15**

Edward's demeanor quickly shifted, his face going from angry to shocked.

"What?" he whispered. "What do you mean?"

I closed my eyes, but that didn't staunch the tears.

"I mean I can't do it, I can't have sex with you. You'll…you'll leave me," I whimpered, pulling my knees up to my chest and burying my face in them. I was crying in earnest now, with no end in sight.

"How could you say such a thing?" he asked, raising his voice. It only made me cry harder.

"Bella, love, please…please look at me. I'm sorry," he rambled, running his hands over my bent head. "Will you please look at me?"

I lifted my face and looked back at him through watery eyes.

His winced and tilted his head, running his longer fingers under my eyes.

"Please don't cry," he whispered. "It kills me to see you cry."

I bit my lower lip and willed myself to settle down. There were many things left to be said and now was not the time for a complete emotional breakdown on my part. Taking a few moments to collect myself, I wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks and took a deep breath, exhaling with a shudder. I sniffled quite a few times, but thankfully Edward had retrieved a box of tissues from the bathroom while I was calming myself down.

Edward moved to lean back against the headboard, pulling me with him. I nestled against his chest as his arms wrapped protectively around me, and I seized the opportunity to breathe in large quantities of his scent, which instantly calmed me. My hand moved on its own up to his head, weaving my fingers through his hair, calming me even further. Edward sighed and kissed my forehead.

"Now, what is all this nonsense?" he asked, kissing my head again.

"It's not nonsense, it's the truth," I replied, sniffling.

"No, it's complete and utter nonsense. You claim that having sex with you would lead me to leave you why, exactly? Because I would be disappointed? Unsatisfied? Is that what you think?"

I could only nod my head in response while Edward exhaled heavily.

"Do you honestly think that little of me, Bella? Do you have any understanding of my feelings for you?" His voice was gritty and low; anger, desperation, fear, and love all mixed into his tone.

I hiccoughed and sniffled and gripped Edward's shirt in my hand.

After a silent moment, Edward's body seemed to relax slightly, although it still held a lot of tension.

"There is one major difference between me and those two boys," he said.

"What is that?" I whispered.

"They didn't love you."

My chest tightened and I lifted my head to look in his eyes. They stared back down at me with such love that it took my breath away. But I was expecting this, and it only added to my hesitation.

"But how do you know you love me? You don't even know me. Not really. I mean, we went to school together when we were kids, sure, but we never really interacted all that much. For all intents and purposes, we're complete strangers."

He simply smiled at me.

"You want me to tell you how I know I love you? How I've loved you my whole life? How every time I look at you my heart damn near stops and restarts itself because I am that taken aback by your beauty, your caring heart, your loyalty to those you care about, your fearlessness at standing up for those who are weak…"

I began shaking my head, ready to tell him he wasn't weak, but he stopped me with a finger on my lips.

"I could sit here for hours and tell you how much I love you for bringing me to life, and how countless dark memories of running from bullies and humiliation of the worst kind are simply wiped away every time you run your fingers through my hair. I may not know every single nuance about you, but I don't need to. The very notion that I could spend every day of forever discovering something new about you only makes me love you more and for the first time, has me excited to live my life. I see you and I feel you and I've been drawn to you my whole life, and that, Bella, is why I _know_ I love you."

I couldn't speak, I could only cry a few more tears as his words washed over me, heightening the already tender emotions brewing within.

"To think that you could in any way disappoint me is pure blasphemy. You could never, _ever_, disappoint me. You know I've never been close with a woman before, and everything we do together is a first for me. But the very fact that I get to experience all of it with you, the woman I've been dreaming about for as long as I can remember…well, I can't even put it into words. It's just perfection, and more than I could have ever hoped for in my life."

Edward ran his fingers along my face and traced my bottom lip with his thumb.

"When we do finally make love, and it _will_ be making love, Bella, it will be beautiful because it's _us_. We fit together like two lost puzzle pieces…don't you see that? Feel that? You simply touch me or look at me and it sets me on fire."

"Oh, baby…I know, you're right," I choked out, shaking my head and burrowing my fingers in his hair. He closed his eyes and sighed, the tension finally leaving his body completely. "What we have is unlike anything I've ever felt in my life. I know we were meant to be together, and that's why every time I'm near you I can feel it like electricity running along my skin."

He nodded and smiled at me.

"So you see why I say its nonsense,?. Your doubts are completely unfounded."

I offered him a small smile.

"I love you, Bella, and that will never change," he whispered, leaning in to brush his lips against mine. But I pulled away.

"Edward, I want so badly to be able to say those words back to you. There is so much, in here," I said, laying my hand over my heart, "just dying to come out, ready to burst forth, but I…I can't…" I stammered, shaking my head in frustration with myself.

_Why can't I just tell him I love him?_

"You can't because you're not ready, and there's nothing wrong with that," he said, taking my hand in his.

"I want to be ready," I said, whimpering and choking on another sob. "You are everything to me. I can't…we can't ever be apart. Please, don't…don't ever leave me."

"That's just not possible, Bella."

I had a sudden need to be closer to him, to immerse myself completely in Edward. To absorb his love for me through every inch of my skin.

Blinking up at him, I slowly moved my fingers along his cheekbones until I reached his glasses, gently pulling them off his face and folding them closed. Edward took them out of my hand and placed them on the nightstand without breaking our gaze.

And then his lips were upon mine, soft and sweet. I sighed into his mouth as the familiar energy began to tingle within me, starting low in my belly and then spreading outward. As it grew in intensity, so did our kiss, his tongue sliding against mine sensuously, enough to practically take my breath away.

Too quickly he pulled away, his hands cupping my face as I blinked up at him in question. But the look I saw there in his eyes told me I had nothing to fear.

"It should have been me," he whispered forcefully. "I never should have left. If I had just gone to…" He clenched his eyes shut and took a deep breath, shaking his head minutely.

"What is it?" I whispered, unwilling to break the quiet surrounding us.

"I could have gone to the University of Washington, but I…chose to go farther away. I can't help but think, had I stayed and gone to Seattle, you and I could have…I could have been…"

"My first," I finished for him.

He nodded solemnly and tilted his head, his eyes never leaving mine. I smiled softly at him and rubbed my fingers reassuringly up and down his forearms.

"At least I can be yours," I whispered to him, expressing as much of my affection for him as I could through my gaze and my touches.

His face lit up in a blinding smile as he pulled my face towards his again, reacquainting our lips. We wasted no time in progressing things further as our need overtook us. Edward laid me back on the bed and hovered over me, my legs instinctively opening to allow him to rest between them. I moaned in pleasure when I felt his hard arousal press up against me.

Edward gasped and raised himself to his knees, his hands hastily moving to lift the hem of my shirt up my body. I pulled it off the rest of the way and tossed it somewhere in the room, not really caring where it ended up. I blinked and realized Edward was now shirtless, too.

As I watched Edward's hungry gaze drink in the sight of my naked chest, his hands moving to knead and massage my sensitive breasts, I internally gave myself a major ass-kicking for turning into such an insecure, emotional whiner. How could I doubt anything between me and Edward? How could I honestly think he'd be anything like Mike? The two weren't even the same species. Mike was definitely a bottom-dweller, whereas Edward was some enlightened being from a far superior race.

Since we saw each other again in the pharmacy, that undeniable hum of energy that surged between us should have quelled any fears or doubts I may have had. It was obvious that we were made for each other, a fact that still had me reeling because I had been around him my whole life and barely spared him a second glance. But Edward knew me, loved me even, since my days in pigtails, so it was just a matter of me catching on and catching up. We had to find each other again as adults so that we could finally be together the way we were meant to be.

He was it for me. That much I knew for certain. And once I broke through this mental and emotional block barring me from telling him that I did, indeed, love him, I would continue to show him any other way I could.

When our hands were on each other, it was always magic. The earth-shattering, breath-stealing, touch-the-heavens type of magic. I was such a fool to ever harbor any doubt that our lovemaking would be less than stellar when one kiss from Edward sent me shooting to the stars.

_Okay, now you're turning into a poetic sap…and doing way too much thinking while Edward is sucking on your nipples._

"Mmmm…Edward," I moaned, arching my back to get closer to his eager tongue while my fingers found purchase in his hair.

"You are everything to me…everything," he whispered so quietly against my flesh that I wasn't quite sure he meant for me to hear it.

I moaned again and let my fingers trail down his back, scratching lightly against his skin. Edward groaned and raised his face, his green eyes vibrant as he looked at me so intently.

"Touch me, Edward," I whispered to him.

He smirked at me while his fingers moved to the button on my jeans, pulling the fabric apart and lowering the zipper before shimmying them down my hips. He sat back up on his heels and pulled them off the rest of the way, leaving me in nothing but my lace panties.

"You are perfection, Bella," he said, laughing humorlessly and shaking his head minutely. "I still can't understand what I did to deserve such a goddess, let alone have her laying on my bed."

Shaking my head, I sat up and got to my knees, taking his face between my hands.

"I am not perfect, and neither are you. But together, we are amazing. And beautiful. And we can do anything. I believe that now. I…I'm sorry I ever doubted it," I said, my voice breaking as tears welled in my eyes.

"Shhh," Edward soothed, kissing me gently. "My love…"

Our kisses soon grew in intensity once more, and Edward had me pulled so closely against him I thought he might try to fit me inside of him. My hand moved from his face down to his sculpted chest, fingering and tracing the bulging muscles that twitched under my touch before reaching the button on his jeans, which I hastily undid. Without any preamble, I shoved my hand in his pants and gripped his bare cock, causing him to yell out and throw his head back.

"Fuck!" he shouted.

_Have I mentioned what it did to me to hear my shy quiet boy curse and yell out in pleasure? _

"Mmmm, you like that, baby?" I mumbled wantonly against his lips. "You're cock is so big and beautiful."

_Oh, good, we're being possessed by the porn star again. Fabulous._

"Ah…Jesus Christ, Bella…ah, fuck," he moaned, thrusting his hips into my hands.

_Okay, he seems to like it. Commence with the dirty talk, Jenna Jameson._

Edward whimpered and moaned, his hands gripping my hips so forcefully I would be surprised if it didn't leave bruises.

"God, I can't wait to be inside you," he moaned, his hips moving more frantically as his hands slipped beneath my panties and gripped my ass. "Only me…only ever me."

"Yes," I whispered breathlessly, dropping my forehead to his shoulder and nodding before placing hot, wet kisses along his neck.

"Tell me," he demanded. "Tell me…"

"Only you, baby. You were the only one meant to be inside me."

Edward released a shuddering breath and I felt the warm wet gooeyness of his release fill my palm and run through my fingers. It was gross, but in a delightfully sinful way that left me craving more.

As I looked up at him, his eyes closed and face slack in relaxation, his mouth turned up in the corner in a sated smile as he tried to relegate his breathing…well, that was the final affirmation for me. He looked so utterly blissed out, almost high off of his pleasure, and all I did was get him off with my hand. _I_ did that to him just by touching him. He was right…my doubts were unfounded.

Suddenly, Edward's eyes opened and I gasped at the green fire burning back at me.

"My turn," he growled. I didn't think it possible, but my panties grew even more wet with the new rush of arousal that came whenever he did that growly thing with his voice.

As his hands began to slide from my ass around to my front, I thought I heard a noise in the distance, but as Edward began to suck on my neck and trail his tongue along my collar bone, I stopped thinking all together.

"Yo, Ed, you home?" bellowed a loud voice as the sound of the door slamming shut made our eyes pop open and our breath freeze in our chests.

We went completely still, as if our stillness would make us invisible to what we were both sure couldn't have been what we thought we heard.

"Ed?"

"Shit!" I whisper yelled as Edward's eyes went wide in fear. Yet we both remained frozen in panic, his hands in my panties.

"Come on, man, I saw your car. I know you're home. You back here whacking off or some –"

Just then Emmett's large frame filled the bedroom doorway. Instinct kicked in and I tried to flee while crossing my arms over my exposed chest, except I'm me and therefore ended up sliding off the side of the bed and landing on the floor with a thud. I didn't care, at least I was hidden and Edward's hand was out of my pants.

"Dammit, Emmett, couldn't you have called?" Edward snapped as he quickly fastened the button on his jeans, retrieved his glasses, and moved off the bed to face his brother.

I took a chance and peeked up over the side of the bed to find a very pale and slack-jawed Emmett still standing motionless in the doorway.

"Dude…I…I'm so sorry, I had no idea…you weren't alone," he stuttered, suddenly averting his eyes to the ceiling.

Edward scoffed. "You just said you saw my car outside, didn't you see Bella's truck as well?"

Emmett glanced at me, then quickly then moved his eyes back to Edward.

"That big jalopy out there is Bella's? Dude, I thought mom hired a new gardener or something and that was _his_ truck."

"Hey," I said, offended. "Don't hate the truck."

"No offense, Bells, but that thing looks like a death trap," he said, finally addressing me.

"I'll have you know that it's a very reliable, sturdy vehicle that is virtually indestructible," I fumed. When Edward had the audacity to actually shake his head and roll his eyes I shot him a glare, too.

"Bells, that thing is older than my parents," Emmett laughed.

"Yeah, well, they don't make them like they used to and all that," I sneered. "That truck was built to last."

Emmett laughed again. "Okay, well, when that thing finally rusts out and leaves you stranded on the side of the one-oh-one don't get mad at me when I start singing 'I Told You So'."

I narrowed my eye at him.

"I do a dance, too," he added, shaking his hips a little.

"Emmett…" Edward finally interrupted.

Emmett and I both blinked and I immediately blushed, realizing I was still naked and hiding from Edward's brother with a handful of cum.

"Uh…right," Emmett mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck and averting his eyes to the ceiling again. Yet his feet remained planted to the floor.

"So…this is awkward," he said.

"Yes, and it would be even less so if you turned around and left," Edward said, approaching Emmett and turning him by his shoulders, pushing him back out towards the living room.

Edward returned and snatched his shirt off the floor, pulling it over his head. He quickly gathered my clothes and rushed to my side, kneeling down on the floor beside me.

"I'm so, so sorry. I don't know why he just barged in here. Usually everyone leaves me alone up here." He was trembling slightly as he handed me my clothes.

"Hey, at least we can be thankful it wasn't your mother," I said, smirking at him. "Besides, I think Emmett is just as embarrassed as we are, if not more."

That made Edward smile. "I should go see what he wants," he said, his eyes drifting down to my bare breasts. He whimpered.

"Don't worry, baby, we can pick this up later," I said, running my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Besides, I should go…clean this up." I motioned toward my other hand, still covered in Edward-goop that was now almost dried to my skin.

He grimaced and looked at me sheepishly. "Sorry," he mumbled, standing and backing away from me.

"Don't be," I replied with a laugh

Smiling wider, he winked at me and left his room, closing the door behind him.

I sighed and finally stood from my hiding spot next to the bed. I entered the bathroom and washed my hands before splashing some water on my face, as it was still a bit splotchy from all the crying and whining I had done earlier.

_Still kicking my own ass over that._

Finally, I got dressed and ran my fingers through my hair to tame it as best I could. Approaching the door, I stopped myself from opening it. Maybe I should wait until Edward came back, in case Emmett had to say something to him in private. Or maybe they were just out there playing videogames or something and I was acting like a complete idiot.

Rolling my eyes at myself, I turned the knob and began to pull the door open when the sound of their voices stopped me.

"So, you and Bella are, like…really together, huh?" Emmett said in a hushed voice.

"I told you we were," replied Edward.

"I know, but I mean…you're _really_ together, like…physically."

"That's none of your business."

Oh great, here I am eavesdropping on yet another awkward conversation about me between Edward and a member of his family.

"You're right, and again, I'm sorry for just barging in here like that. I just wanted to tell you about the change in schedule this week, so…"

"Yeah," Edward said, clearing his throat nervously. "I'd appreciate a phone call next time, or at least a knock on the door."

"So…are you okay?" Emmett asked cautiously.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Edward snapped.

"Hey, don't bite my head off just because I'm concerned about your state of mind now that you and Bella are doing the nasty."

"We're not…" Edward trailed off. "Dammit, Em, I said it was none of your business."

"You're not bumpin' uglies?"

"Don't you talk that way about Bella," Edward growled, raising his voice slightly.

"Dude, relax, I didn't mean any disrespect. I like Bells, a lot. She's a cool chick. And I'm…happy for you…but, can you at least understand my reservations about this? I mean, is she good to you? Treating you right?"

Edward sighed heavily."Why can't I just live my life without the constant surveillance and analysis of my every move?"

"Because, I spent two nights in jail nursing a sprained hand after the last time you thought you met the girl of your dreams, so sue me if I'm a bit skittish about your love life," Emmett said angrily.

"I never said Jane was the girl of my dreams," Edward spat.

_Jane? Is this the girl from New Hampshire that I'm not supposed to know about?_

Deciding I'd better make my presence known before I heard all about whatever happened to Edward in New Hampshire and not being able to let on that I knew because I was eavesdropping like a creeper, I opened the door wider and stepped into the living room.

"Hey," I said, pasting on a big smile.

Edward and Emmett stepped away from each other, both shoving their hands into their pockets.

"Hey," Edward said quietly, smiling faintly at me.

I shifted my eyes between the two of them.

"Am I interrupting something?" I asked.

"Nope," Emmett replied. "Just had to talk to Ed about a few things, but we're done now."

"Oh, okay," I said.

"I have to use the bathroom," Edward said, rushing past me and into his bedroom.

Emmett and I stood silently for a moment before he spoke up.

"Look, Bells, I know it's none of my business, but I just wanted to say…that I've noticed a real change in Edward these past few days. He seems, I don't know…happier…lighter…and I guess I have you to thank for that."

I glanced nervously down at my bare feet.

"Um, thanks…I guess. He makes me happy, too."

"Well, good. Just…just take care of each other. And, try not to push him…I mean, he may not be ready for anything…too serious."

I furrowed my brow in confusion, staring intently at Emmett's shifting gaze.

Suddenly the maelstrom of emotions that had been brewing within me all day, coupled with what I overheard from Emmett and Edward and Edward and his father the other day, made me kind of snap.

"Look, Emmett, I get that you're all overprotective of Edward, probably because of the shitty childhood he had, which, by the way, you didn't really do much to help him with if my memory serves me correctly. I mean, honestly, _now_ you decide to step up and be the big brother and protector? Where were you ten years ago when he was being teased in the middle of the playground or shoved into lockers or having his sneakers ripped off his feet and thrown up into the ventilation ducts or called the most vile, disgusting names to his face and being spit on…huh? Oh, right, you were too cool to stand up for your geeky, scrawny brother who suffered complete humiliation at the hands of your own so-called _friends_. God forbid you defended the weak little nerd at the expense of losing your Mr. Popular title.

"And I don't know what your parents' problem with me is, either. I mean, am I so horrible? Do I come across as some sexual predator or something, only out for your brother's body? Well I'm not. I care very deeply for that man, and you all need to get over yourselves and accept the fact that he's an adult now and more than capable of thinking for himself. He got through some pretty heavy shit on his own growing up, and now you all don't think he can handle having a girlfriend? Well, tough shit! He has me now and I'm not going anywhere so you can either accept me as a part of Edward's life or leave us the hell alone and let Edward be happy for once in his life!"

I gasped heaving breaths as I tried to calm myself down, but as soon as I felt Edward's arms wrap around me from behind, I instantly relaxed. Gripping his forearms, I leaned back against him and turned my nose into his neck, inhaling deeply.

"I love you," he whispered against my nose, kissing the tip of it softly. I smiled and hummed happily in response.

"Well, hell, Bells, how long you been waiting to unleash that little nugget?" Emmett said loudly.

I snapped my head up and looked at him questioningly

"Excuse me?"

"She's a feisty one, Ed, that's for damn sure," he said, laughing and smacking his thigh.

I glanced up at Edward who was staring adoringly down at me.

"Look, please know that our family as no problem with you. We're just a little nervous after what Ed went through out –"

"Emmett," Edward spat harshly, effectively silencing his brother.

Emmett's eyebrows raised into his hairline. "What…you didn't tell her?"

I looked from Emmett back up to Edward. "Tell me what?"

"It hasn't come up yet," Edward sneered, actually baring his teeth. He was shooting daggers at Emmett with his eyes.

"I see," Emmett said, pressing his lips into a thin line.

"What's going on, Edward?" I asked, stepping out of his embrace and turning to face him.

He looked down at me and his features immediately softened.

"Please…it's not important. Nothing is important to me except for you and our future together. I shut the door on my past a long time ago, so it's not even relevant," he whispered desperately.

"But if something happened to you, don't you think –"

"Please," he said, raising his voice and gripping my shoulders hard. "Not now. Not yet. I…I'll tell you, but…not now. I don't want…to mess this up…" He started shaking and that distracted me from my increasing worry as to what could've happened that might possibly ruin what we had.

"Shhh," I said, rubbing his arms forcefully. "Hey, look at me."

He raised his eyes, worry and fear written all across them.

"I'm not going anywhere, you got it? Nothing you could say would make me end this. You're stuck with me," I said, running my fingers through his hair and gripping it gently.

He nodded and closed his eyes, leaning into my touch before pulling me to him and wrapping his arms around me.

"Love you," he mumbled against my neck.

"I know, baby," I whispered in his ear. "Only you."

His embrace tightened as he exhaled heavily against my skin.

"Um…yeah, so I'm…gonna go," Emmett said meekly from behind us. A few seconds later we heard the door close, but we didn't move from our position.

Now I knew for certain that something happened to Edward in New Hampshire, and that it involved some girl named Jane who Edward was apparently involved with. I wondered why would he tell me he'd never been with anyone else. From the sound of it, something pretty bad went down between the two of them and I was still in the dark about my own boyfriend's traumatic past.

The sound of my cell phone chirping from my purse near the front door broke me out of my reverie. I slowly pulled away from Edward to retrieve it. It was a text from Alice.

_Don't dwell on things you have no control over. Focus on the here and now. Sorry to sound like a fortune cookie, but I couldn't get the words out of my head and thought you might need to hear them._

_Gotta love that pixie._

I smirked and texted her back quickly.

_Definitely needed to hear them. Thanks._

Dropping my phone back into my purse, I turned and found Edward glancing at me warily. Hearing from Alice reminded me that I still had yet to mention our plans for tomorrow night to him.

"Hey, tomorrow Alice is signing the papers officially making her owner of Glow, and she wants us all to meet up after work to celebrate Is that okay with you?" I asked, moving closer to him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"You mean, like…with a group…of people?" His voice cracked slightly.

"Not really, I mean a few people, but it's not like they're strangers. We're going to go to Spank's so Emmett will be there, although after what just happened that may be slightly awkward. And Alice will be there, you know her. And probably her boyfriend, Jasper and his sister, Rosalie. Do you know Jasper? He's Emmett's friend from Seattle."

Edward nodded. "I met him once."

"Do you go to Emmett's bar very often?" I asked.

"Every once in a while I'll go eat there after we work out."

That sparked my interest.

"Work out?"

Edward nodded at me. "Yes, since I moved home Emmett has been taking me to the gym with him Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays."

"Oh, so that explains all this yumminess," I teased, lifting up his shirt and placing quick kisses all over his sculpted abs.

He giggled and I laughed out loud at the sound.

"Ticklish, are we?" I asked.

Edward blushed and pushed my hands away before moving into the kitchen.

"So you're working out with Emmett tomorrow after work? Do you…do you want to meet me at Spank's afterwards?" I asked, gnawing on my lower lip and really hoping he'd say yes.

He ran his fingers through his hair and pushed his glasses up his nose before looking at me and nodding.

"All right," he replied quietly.

I smiled at him, completely elated.

"I promise we'll have fun," I said, winking at him.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, opening a drawer and effectively changing the subject.

As if it heard him, my stomach suddenly growled loudly.

Edward arched an eyebrow in my direction. "I'll take that as a yes?"

I could feel my cheeks heat up and I rolled my eyes. "Starved, actually."

We inhaled some Chinese take out, and an hour later we were snuggled up on Edward's couch channel surfing once more. His guitar caught my eye, laying exactly where he had left it.

"You're really good, by the way," I said, nodding my head toward the instrument.

"Thanks," he mumbled shyly.

"And you have an amazing voice."

He scoffed. "Please. I sound like a tortured animal when I sing."

I glared at him. "That's ridiculous. You sound amazing when you sing. You sound very…sexy."

Edward smirked at me. "You're biased," he said, leaning in to kiss me.

"That may be true," I said, pulling back, "but not when it comes to this. Honestly, you are very talented."

Then a really stupid idea popped into my head, and my equally stupid mouth decided to open and voice said stupid idea.

"Hey, you know Emmett said he wants to get some live entertainment in his bar. You should play an open mic night there or something," I blurted out excitedly.

Edward's eyes widened and he sat up, releasing me from his arms. He laughed humorlessly again and ran a trembling hand through his mop of hair.

Now I had a reason to kick my own ass even harder than I had before. Of course Edward wouldn't want to sit up on a stage by himself in front of a crowded bar and sing or play his guitar.

"Or not," I said, sitting up and taking his hands in mine. "Sorry, I didn't mean –"

"No, it's okay," he said, exhaling heavily. "I just…I can't…that's not…" he stuttered, clenching his eyes shut and shaking his head.

Acting quickly, I straddled his thighs and gripped his hair between my hands. His eyes opened slowly and regarded me sadly.

"Forget about it," I said, kissing his lips. "My verbal filter needs a tune up."

After taking his mind off the subject with another round of heavy petting and groping, we finally decided to go to bed, which gave me my own anxiety attack. I was really exhausted from having barely slept the night before and was dreading another night of "Dodge Edward's Flailing Hands".

Things started off well. After switching off the lights and kissing for a few minutes, Edward wrapped his arms around me and spooned me from behind. It felt so nice and I was immediately comfortable. It didn't take long for sleep to claim me.

Sure enough, though, about an hour or so later, I was awakened by a smack to the back of my head. I growled and tried to burrow beneath the covers, but they were presently pushed to the foot of the bed as he lay spread out like a starfish.

I sat up and huffed, glaring down at his prone form. If he wasn't completely shirtless with his pajama pants hanging precariously low on his hips, I would have suffocated him with a pillow, but he was just too pretty to murder, and he did delicious things to me with his fingers.

"All right, we're going to fix this. I plan on sleeping next to you for many nights to come and refuse to dread it, or turn into an insomniac."

Surprised my sleep-deprived brain had the capacity to process anything, I was amazed when an idea came to mind. I knew how much it calmed Edward when I ran my fingers through his hair, so I decided to take that and run with it.

Determined, I fixed the blankets on the bed and pulled them back over us as I laid down next to the starfish. His legs kicked out a bit, but I held on to the blankets with all my might so that his feet didn't get tangled in them and pull them back down. Laying on my side facing him, I gently ran my fingers through his hair for a few minutes. He moaned a little and turned his face in my direction, but he never woke up.

Suddenly, his arm shot up and across his chest, and at the same time I tightened my hands in his hair. He instantly calmed and sighed deeply, making me smile. After the next several minutes, his body seemed to move on its own, curling back towards me as I continued my ministrations to his hair. When his head found its way back to my chest, and his arm draped over my waist, I quickly tangled my legs within his, trapping him from moving again with my body.

Once I realized he wasn't going anywhere and we were both snuggled up comfortably under the blankets, I let my eyes drift close as my fingers gently massaged his scalp. And when we woke up the next morning in the same exact position, I let out a little yelp of glee, much to Edward's confusion.

~~DYDM~~

**A/N: **Gotta thank my awesome beta **jennde** for getting this chapter back to me with a quickness!

And as always, thanks for all the reviews and recs!


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

**Chapter 16**

I sat at the bar and glanced at my watch for the third time in the past ten minutes. It was four forty-seven, and technically Alice was only seventeen minutes late, but that wasn't unusual.

The day had, thankfully, been uneventful. Edward and I left for work without any Cullen interference, the pharmacy was dead as usual, and Tanya was only twenty minutes late. Luckily she came in chattering away on her cell phone so I didn't have to talk to her before I dashed out.

Sighing, I sipped my water and looked around Spank's. The place was still fairly empty, but beginning to fill up as the after-work crowd hunted for their end-of-the-day alcoholic reprieve. I knew Emmett wasn't around yet – he was at the gym with Edward.

I was still slightly surprised that Edward and Emmett seemed to have a "normal" brother relationship, especially considering that growing up, Emmett acted like Edward didn't even exist, or that he was more a burden than his own flesh and blood. I wondered how different Edward's childhood would've been had Emmett stepped in to protect his little brother.

Emmett said they were working out their differences, and secretly hearing that comment about spending two nights in jail over what happened in New Hampshire still had me bubbling over with questions that Edward wasn't ready to answer. Perhaps Emmett was seeking some sort of absolution for all his wrongdoings toward Edward in the past. And my Edward had a big enough heart to easily forgive his brother.

"Sorry, sorry, I know I'm late," Alice exclaimed breathlessly as she plopped down on the stool next to me. "Sharon and I had a late lunch and then I had to run to my parents' house to fill them in on everything and my mom was crying about how proud she was of me, blah, blah, blah…anyway, what are we drinking?"

I didn't know why after all these years of a daily Alice intake she could still stun me with her exuberance.

Before I could answer her, a statuesque blonde appeared at my other side, leaning her delicate elbow against the bar and staring at me with her large blue eyes, perfectly lined and shadowed.

"Hi, Rosalie," I said, feeling myself instinctively slouch in shame at my inferiority in her presence.

"So you and Edward, huh?" she said, lifting a finely plucked eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"I hear you and Edward are together."

"Oh…yes," I replied, wondering what her interest in my love life was.

"They're so sweet, wait until you see them together," Alice piped in, signaling to the bartender. "By the way, I'm so ready to get this celebration started."

Blinking myself back into coherency, I turned towards Alice quickly.

"Oh my god, Al, congratulations! How did the meeting go?" I exclaimed, jumping from my stool and wrapping my arms around her.

She returned the hug and laughed in my ear before I pulled back.

"Everything went smoothly, papers all signed, notarized, the works. Glow is officially mine," she said, clapping her hands.

"Congratulations, boss," Rosalie said, kissing Alice on the cheek.

"I can't believe you did it. You made your dream come true," I said, feeling my eyes sting with tears. For as long as Alice and I had been friends she'd always talked about becoming a stylist and owning her own spa and salon one day. And here she was, only twenty-two years old, realizing that dream.

And I was a full-time pharmacy aide with absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

The cold reality hit me hard, knocking me back down into my stool.

"Oh, Bella, don't do that. Don't get all mopey on me. We have no control over when or where our opportunity of a lifetime will present itself. Mine just happened to be now. Yours will come too," Alice said. Suddenly her eyes glazed over and she seemed to stare at nothing for a minute. "And I feel it will be very, _very _soon."

That got me to smile.

"Okay, you can put your tarot cards away. Sorry, I'll stick mopey face in my pocket for the rest of the evening."

Rosalie snickered. "Oh, I've got something to turn that frown upside down. Follow me, ladies."

I looked at Alice and she smiled wickedly.

"Wait, we're meeting Edward here –" I started to protest, only to be shushed by Rosalie.

"I promise we'll be right back," she said over her shoulder.

Alice and I followed Rosalie out the front door. My eyes were glued to her pumps in fascination. I never understood how women could walk in heels that high like they were wearing sneakers. Her jeans looked like they were painted on, and I could just make out the defined muscles in her calves as her legs moved fluidly, heels clicking against the sidewalk.

Clearing my throat, I glanced at Alice, who was eyeing me curiously.

_What, she's a hot woman, how can I NOT stare?_

"So, you were discussing me and Edward with Rosalie?" I asked Alice, grinning at her.

"Oh no, Alice didn't tell me about you and Edward," Rosalie cut in. "Emmett did."

Rosalie slowed down so that she could walk with us instead of leading us. Leaning into my side, she linked her arm with mine.

"I heard you two were getting pretty hot and heavy in Edward's room last night," she said quietly, winking at me.

I laughed nervously. "Well, Emmett certainly doesn't waste any time, nor does he understand the meaning of 'private matters'."

"Oooh, what were you and our shy little Edward doing last night?" Alice asked, linking herself to my other arm. I felt like I was carrying two very large, very perfumed handbags.

Clearing my throat again, I felt my cheeks heat up with my telltale blush. I couldn't stop the smile from appearing, however.

"Oh yeah, this is going to be good," Alice said, snickering at my side.

"What? We were just…you know…" I babbled, the heat in my face reaching volcanic proportions.

"No, we don't know, please explain," Rosalie said.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"We just hung out at his apartment, and he played his guitar for me and sang me a song, and then I got all emotional on him and turned into a psycho-girlfriend just bursting with insecurities over the fact that if we do have sex he'll run screaming for the hills because I suck at it, and he says he loves me and I feel like I love him too, but I'm completely incapable of letting the words out of my mouth, but when we're together it just feels like I'm…I don't know…whole and I just…can't be without him…" I blurted out, damn near panting from the lack of oxygen.

The girls both blinked owlishly at me.

"Well damn, here I was thinking I'd just get to hear about the size of Ed's cock," Rosalie stated.

I gasped and turned shocked eyes to her before the three of us burst out laughing. Like full bellied, doubled over, oh my god I'm gonna pee, laughing. I was aware we were getting looks from other people on the street, but I didn't care.

We women needed girlfriends. It was a simple fact of life.

After we composed ourselves and wiped the tears from our eyes, Alice squeezed my arm.

"What you and Edward have is so special, and it's obvious he's in love with you. I mean you'd have to be blind not to see it. And based on what you just told us, it's easy to see that you love him too. Don't worry about not saying the words, they'll come when the time is right. You'll just know."

I smiled faintly at her, nodding my head slightly.

"Okay, enough of that, I have a surprise for you," Rosalie said, dragging us further down the sidewalk.

"Where are we going?" Alice asked. "I should be on my third martini by now."

"We'll get to that, boss lady, but our Bella here is in desperate need of a little eye candy," Rosalie replied. "And here we are."

Alice and I glanced up curiously at the yellow and black _Lou's Fitness_ sign until it finally dawned on me where we were.

"Eyes front, ladies," Rosalie said with a smirk.

I peered through the large glass window in front of us and gasped.

"Ho-ly shit," Alice exclaimed, drawing out the words.

Emmett was standing behind a large punching bag, holding it steady, his hands wrapped in white tape. His large arms were bare and glistening. But that's not what captured my attention.

Edward held his similarly tape-wrapped hands up to his face, his feet moving in intricate patterns on the blue mat as he eyed the punching bag intensely. He was completely shirtless, beads of sweat running along every curve and crevice of his tightly-muscled chest and arms. His hair was in its usual state of disarray, only drenched in sweat. And on his face…well, he looked like he was wearing scuba goggles, but for some reason I found it completely sexy. I knew Edward was practically blind without his glasses, and I'd seen athletes wear something similar, like prescription goggles. They were nerdy-looking as hell, but that didn't stop the wetness that was presently soaking my panties.

Suddenly his right fist shot out and hit the middle of the bag, causing Emmett to stumble back a bit. Edward's left fist followed in an uppercut while Emmett barked something in his booming voice.

I watched, transfixed, as Edward continued to dance around the bag, landing several punches before bouncing around some more. The muscles in his arms bunched and flexed with each jab. His abs were so tight and firm, I briefly wondered if I could use them as a washboard for my delicates. His thigh muscles clenched and bulged under his black shorts as his feet moved across the mat.

Emmett said something indiscernible again and Edward let go a strong right hook, so strong it caused Emmett to lose hold of the punching bag and stumble back off the mat. He clapped his hands together and stepped back up on the mat, approaching Edward quickly and saying something to him. Edward nodded and smiled, resting his hands on his hips while his chest heaved.

"So that's what's been hiding under those khakis and penny loafers," Alice said in a daze. "Oh Bella, you've been holding out on me."

"Exactly," Rosalie added. "Now you gotta spill…his cock is huge, isn't it?"

I found myself unable to form a coherent thought as I continued to stare at my boyfriend's glistening, chiseled body while he stared at his brother through his goggles, occasionally nodding at something he said.

Edward lifted a hand and rubbed at the sweat on his forehead, his bicep bulging and the dark bronze hair under his arm standing out from the paleness of his skin.

My feet moved without orders from my brain and my hand stretched out in an attempt to touch him. I received further proof that my intelligence was currently in a sweaty Edward-induced coma when I walked face first into the glass window before us.

_That'll knock some sense back into you._

"Ow," I deadpanned as Alice and Rosalie cracked up beside me. I rubbed my nose, which was thankfully not bleeding, but my eyes refused to leave the sight of my man, even to turn and glare at the girls.

"Oh, hey Bella…Alice," I heard from my right, and I fought not to cringe. Alice lost that fight, however, as her eyes squeezed shut and she grimaced before painting on a fake smile and turning around.

"Hi, Jess. Hi, Lauren," she replied politely, stepping away from the window. I turned and gave them my own fake smile.

"So what are you girls up to?" Jess asked, her eyes darting between me and Alice. I could almost hear her thoughts screaming at us for an invite.

"Oh, just doing a little window shopping," Rosalie said, her smile so fake I thought her face would crack. "I'm Rosalie, by the way."

Jessica and Lauren gawked at her for a moment.

_Yes, she's that beautiful. _

"Rose, this is Jess and Lauren. We went to high school together," Alice chimed in. "They work at the same pharmacy as Bella."

"Oh, are you pharmacists?" Rose asked.

"Uh…no…we're just…cashiers," Lauren replied, averting her eyes. Unfortunately, her eyes slid to the glass window in front of her. She squinted for a moment before her eyes slowly widened as her jaw fell open.

"Fuck me," she said, staring through the glass like one of those large-mouthed bass Charlie used to have hanging in the living room. "Is that…Edward Cullen?"

"Where?" Jess asked, stepping close to Lauren and following her gaze. And then her eyes and mouth did the same thing as Lauren's. "No fucking way."

A part of me felt smug as shit that they were standing their gawking at my boyfriend. And then another part of me wanted to claw their eyes out like a feral cat for standing their gawking at my boyfriend.

"When did that happen?" Jessica asked, her eyes still transfixed.

"Oh, Edward and his brother have been working out together for the past five months or so," Rosalie informed us. "Emmett also started him on his special diet, high protein, low carbs, you know how it goes."

"Damn, I can't believe that's Geekward," Lauren said, shaking her head.

My head spun so fast I was momentarily dizzy before I righted myself enough to glare daggers at the bitch.

"You wanna try that again?" I spat at her.

She rolled her eyes at me.

_Did she honestly just roll her eyes at me?_

"Oh, chill out, Bella. You got the job already, and in case you haven't noticed, we're not at work right now, so there's no need to kiss up to the management by standing up for our head pharmacist…again," Lauren laughed, a high, nasally sound that reminded me of a hyena.

"I am not kissing up to the management," I sputtered out, completely shocked by her nerve.

"Okay, let's just settle down," Alice interjected, gripping my arm. "If you'll excuse us, girls, we have somewhere to be so…"

"Oh, you're not?" Lauren continued as if she didn't even hear Alice. "Then why so defensive over our quiet little googly-eyed nerd with the body of a Greek god in there? Would you happen to have a thing for our pharmacist?"

Her insinuations made me think that outing our relationship to our co-workers was not such a good idea. I mean, all of our kisses and touches at work had been done either in private or hidden from view. Were we doing something wrong? Maybe I ought to read that Employee Handbook I got on my first day of work.

"What, like it's against the rules or something?" Rosalie asked, the faux innocence of her expression contradicting the lethal tone of her voice.

Lauren looked at her, her brows furrowed. "Well, no…I mean, I don't think so."

"Then what does it matter to you whether or not Bella has a 'thing' for Edward?"

Lauren's mouth opened and closed a few times before she cleared her throat.

"You work at a small-town drug store, for god's sake," Rosalie continued. "It's not like Edward is the President of the United States and Bella his intern, or some shit like that. You know what I think? I think you're just a nosey bitch who has no love life of her own to speak of so she gets off on the details of other people's relationships so she can live vicariously through them, all while making her think she looks cool spreading gossip and juicy rumors about things she honestly knows nothing about."

Lauren was doing the open-mouthed bass thing again. I bet if I stood across the street and threw out a line using Charlie's lucky wrist flick I could hook the bitch and reel her in.

_And mount her on a wood plaque to hang over the cash registers._

"And what if she did?" Alice spoke up.

"I think Mr. Denali would be interested in hearing that," Lauren said, smirking.

"But you just said it wasn't against the rules," I said, a bundle of nerves gathering in my throat.

_My electric bill is due next week. I can't lose my job. I haven't even received my first paycheck yet!_

"Oh for the love of god, let's just settle this once and for all," Rosalie said, throwing her arms up in exasperation.

Throwing open the gym door, she leaned her head inside. My eyes darted to Edward, who was still standing in the same place talking with Emmett as they unraveled the tape from their hands, completely oblivious to the cat-fight that was about to erupt outside on the sidewalk.

"Hey, Edward," Rosalie shouted, her voice echoing throughout the high ceilings of the gym.

Everyone inside stopped their individual exercise routines and turned toward Rosalie, including Emmett and Edward. Emmett's face lit up as his eyes fell upon the blonde beauty, but quickly grew wary when he noticed the rest of us staring at them through the window.

Edward looked like a deer in headlights…again. Even from this distance I could see him start to tremble. My arms and legs twitched in response, wanting to go to him and hold him.

"At the pharmacy, is it against Employee Policy or rules or whatever to date a co-worker?" Rosalie shouted, and I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to make myself invisible.

_I can't believe she's doing this._

Lauren made a choking sound, obviously thinking the same thing I was.

Edward's eyes shot to me and I tried to silently apologize to him. Then his eyes slid to Jessica and Lauren at my side. His lips pressed into a thin line as his arms crossed in front of his chest protectively.

"Rosalie, please don't put him on the spot like this," I said to her. "This isn't the time or place for this, anyway. And I don't owe Lauren any kind of explanation –"

"No," Edward shouted back to Rosalie. I quickly looked at him in surprise. His eyes were on me. Even through the goggles I could see the green blazing back at me.

Emmett smiled and placed a hand on Edward's shoulder, squeezing hard.

"Why do you ask, Rosie?" Emmett yelled, playing along.

"Because Lauren here is a bit confused as to why Bella felt the need to stand up for her man," Rosalie replied, causing Lauren and Jessica to gasp.

It was suddenly apparent to me that Rosalie was already aware that it was not against company policy for co-workers to date. She was just having fun with Lauren.

_I am so glad I'm on her good side._

"So wait…you and Edward are…together?" Jessica asked, her voice raising about nine octaves.

"Exclusively," Alice replied, grinning from ear to ear.

Lauren snorted. _Very attractive._

"Wow, Bella, you don't waste any time, do you," she sneered. "You know, doing the pharmacist doesn't get you any bonuses."

"Oh, are you speaking from personal experience?" Rosalie asked, tilting her head to the side.

Jessica choked and started to cough, while Lauren glared at her and elbowed her in the ribs.

Now I was the gaping fish.

"Oh…wait, you and…James? Ew. Please tell me you aren't as stupid as I thought you were," I blurted out.

Lauren turned her glare at me before she started to back away, pulling Jessica with her. I watched her go, my lips turning up into a self-righteous smile.

"Whatever," came Lauren's witty comeback before she turned her back on us and stomped off, towing Jess behind her.

Rosalie and Alice started to laugh as I turned back to look through the glass window. Emmett and Edward had vanished, much to my disappointment.

"Come on, girls, let's head back to the bar and wait for the boys," Rosalie said as we began to move down the sidewalk.

Linking arms again, we giggled and whispered the whole way towards Spank's, but my mind was still back at the gym staring at a shirtless, sweaty Edward showing that punching bag who was boss. I felt the familiar tingle in my lower abdomen and the throbbing between my legs. My ever-present need for him pulsed through every nerve ending in my body, making me close my eyes and suck in deep breaths. Thank god the girls were practically holding me up.

Suddenly someone whistled a cat-call at us, and we stopped and spun around. Emmett was grinning at us as he stood in front of a wooden door and inserted a key into the lock. My eyes slid to Edward, who was standing behind him, blazing green eyes now back behind his regular glasses, locked on me. He was still in his black shorts, but now he was wearing a dark green t-shirt. His gym bag was slung over his shoulder.

And just like that, all thoughts left me…all except one.

_I need Edward._

As if they read my mind, the girls released me as my legs sent me running back down the sidewalk. I watched Edward back away from Emmett and drop his gym bag on the ground. He widened his stance and opened his arms just as I reached him.

I jumped on him, wrapping my arms and legs around him as he stumbled a few steps back. His hands moved to my thighs and squeezed as our lips reunited passionately. My fingers dug into his hair and he moaned loudly.

"Fucking Christ, Bells, don't maul the boy in public," Emmett grumbled from beside us.

Edward's lips never left mine as we heard Emmett sigh and finish unlocking the door.

"I'm just gonna grab some clothes and I'll go back and shower at the gym," he said. "The place is yours. But if you fuck in my bed, I will be pissed."

I felt Edward's hand leave my thigh temporarily before it returned.

"Oh, you gonna give me the finger, you little shit? Well, then, maybe I'll just lock this door back up and shove this key up your ass…" Emmett began, but Edward released me and slid me down his body until my feet found concrete.

Reaching down, he used one hand to grab his bag and the other to wrap around my waist. He gave Emmett a smug smile and led me towards the door. Meanwhile, Alice and Rosalie were hooting and hollering a few feet away.

"We'll meet you at the bar in a little while, you slut," Alice shouted, making my cheeks burn.

"Yeah, make sure you give Eddie a 'hand' in the shower," Rosalie added before the two started cracking up.

I couldn't help it. I smiled and winked at them, giving them a little wave with my fingers.

Once inside, I didn't have much time, or desire, to check out Emmett's apartment. My vision was solely focused on Edward, who had me pressed against the living room wall kissing my lips raw. It was fucking fantastic.

I vaguely heard Emmett mumble something after a few minutes before the door slammed shut. And then there was silence. Well, except for the moaning and slurping going on between Edward and me.

"You need a shower," I whispered as Edward's lips trailed down my neck. He pulled the collar of my shirt away to expose my shoulder, where he began nipping a little path along my bare skin. His other hand slid under my shirt and was gripping my rib cage, his thumb caressing the underside of my breast.

"Shower with me," he whispered against my shoulder.

While the idea was completely appealing, I did have enough wits about me to remember that we were supposed to be meeting our friends at the bar in a few minutes.

"I would love to, but we don't have enough time right now," I moaned, throwing my head back against the wall as I felt his teeth against my skin while his hand moved up and cupped my whole breast.

Edward moaned with me and shifted his hips forward, immobilizing me against the wall.

"I want you so badly," he said through another moan, shooting a bolt of electricity through my entire body.

His hand slipped beneath the cup of my bra and began to knead my breast, his thumb trailing over my nipple, pressing and rubbing against it. My hips instinctively rolled, pressing into the hardness between his thighs.

"I want you too…god, especially after watching you in the gym."

My hands moved down his torso, grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and ripping it over his head. Leaning forward, I ran my lips along the expanse of lean muscle in front of me.

"You looked so beautiful, baby…so fierce," I whispered against his flesh, my nails trailing down his back.

Edward did that growling thing as his head dropped back.

"So strong," I continued, licking his nipple. I could taste the salt of his sweat and it was fucking delicious.

His hands gripped my head and raised it so that I was staring directly into his fiery jade eyes.

"You make me feel like I am," he said with conviction before pulling me into another passionate kiss.

My mind was a jumble as my emotions and anxieties warred with each other.

_I love you_. I need to tell him. I want to say it.

_You are my life now. _Why won't my mouth form the words?

"Bella, please…I need…" The urgency in his voice snapped me back, and I was suddenly overcome with the need to put him at ease. To take care of him.

Bracing my hands on his shoulders, I pushed until there was some space between us. He looked at me curiously for a moment, and I smirked at him as I turned us so that he was now the one against the wall.

Making sure my eyes were locked with his, I slowly lowered myself to my knees in front of him, my fingers going for the top of his gym shorts.

His mouth fell open as he began panting heavily, his eyes wide as he stared down at me. He knew what was coming…or who, to be more precise.

"Let me take care of you," I said, my voice hoarse from all the ragged breathing I had been doing.

Edward gnawed on his lower lip for a moment before slowly nodding his head at me. His hands splayed flat against the wall behind him as I pulled down his shorts and boxers.

I gave him one last reassuring smile before I lowered my eyes and took in the gloriously massive sight before me.

I had never given a guy a blowjob before. Mike had nagged me for a while, but I absolutely refused. I mean, his pee came out of that thing. I didn't want it anywhere near my mouth. Mike had tried going down on me too, but I was never comfortable with trying that, either. I had to be really into someone to let him be that close to my anatomy. That was one serious act of intimacy, and while I thought I was in love with Mike, I never wanted him face-to-face with my hoo-hoo. That should've been a sign for me.

But now, my entire being felt saturated with Edward. I lived and breathed him. And while I couldn't say the words yet, I could show him by doing this for him. Not to mention that the sight of Edward's erect cock turned me into a salivating freak.

Slowly, I ran the tip of my nose along his smooth, hard skin, inhaling his manly scent. When I reached the tip, I placed a gentle kiss there and watched in amazement as his cock jumped slightly and a small bead of moisture appeared at the slit.

I wasted no time in letting my tongue poke out and lick around the head. He tasted salty and sweet at the same time, and I was immediately addicted.

Edward moaned loudly above me, and I couldn't help but look up at him. His face was scrunched up, his glasses sliding down his nose as his face was now covered in sweat again. His shoulders looked tight with tension, and his teeth were clenched together.

"Relax," I whispered to him, rubbing my hands up and down his bare thighs. Edward looked down at me and moaned again, his mouth opening and gasping.

I ran my tongue along the tip of his erection once more while our eyes remained locked.

"You taste so good, baby," I moaned.

"Fuck, Bella…you're going to kill me," he replied.

I shook my head and winked at him before returning my full attention to his cock. Opening my mouth, I took him all the way in. I may have never done this before, but many sleepovers with Alice resulted in reading numerous articles on the dos and don'ts of the subject. And I may have been subjected to one or twenty pornos living in a college dorm and dating a horny sleazebag like Mike.

Relaxing the back of my throat, I closed my eyes and moaned around him.

"Fuck!" Edward shouted, pounding his fist against the wall.

Sliding him back out, I wrapped my hand around his base while I licked and sucked at his tip again, using my saliva to easily slide my hand up and down his shaft. My other hand reached up and gently caressed his balls, cupping them and rolling them until I felt his thighs shaking against my arms.

He whimpered and cursed as I continued to work him, his fists continually slamming against the wall. In an effort to give his hands something to do, I grabbed them and placed them on my head, hoping he'd take the hint.

His hands remained motionless for a moment, but then his fingers dug into my hair. I felt slight pressure against my head and realizing he was pushing me further down on him. I moaned against him, loving the feeling of being controlled by him, of him dictating his own pleasure and using me to get it.

My hands reached around and grabbed his ass, digging my nails into his rock hard flesh as I took him all the way into my mouth before sliding him back out, repeating the motion over and over. I felt his ass clench and release as he continued to push against my head. I realized that he was essentially fucking my mouth, and I didn't think it was possible to feel any more turned on than I was at that moment.

His grunts and gasps and whimpers were music to my ears, and when his hands tightened in my hair and his hips began to thrust erratically, I knew he was close to coming.

"Bella…I…I'm going to…" I felt his hands pull at my hair, and I knew he was trying to move me. I almost let him, a moment of panic rising in me at the thought of his cum in my mouth. But I squashed it down quickly, wanting any and every part of Edward inside of me.

"Fuck, Bella…I can't hold back…"

I squeezed his ass again, silently telling him to let go, to not hold back.

He came with a roar, his fingers gripping my head so tightly I half expected my brain to start oozing out of my ears. His cum erupted in quick, jerky spurts down my throat, and I swallowed every drop.

When his hips stopped moving and his hands released my head, I slowly slid him out of my mouth, letting my tongue lick up any remnants of his release. I watched his cock slowly begin to soften and I couldn't help but give it one last kiss.

_Until next time._

Oh yes, I would SO be doing that again.

Edward was desperately gasping as he dropped to his knees in front of me. His mouth was suddenly on mine, his lips, tongue and teeth devouring me as his hands gripped my ass and pulled me close.

"That was…so amazing…I can't…you are…" he mumbled against my lips before giving up and just fiercely kissing me.

His hands moved to the button on my jeans and frantically began trying to undo it with shaking hands.

"Ah, ah, ah, Mr. Cullen," I said, grabbing his hands to stop him. "That was all for you. I have now made us officially late, so you better get your sexy ass into that shower before Alice sends out a search party. I, sadly, will go sit on that couch all by my lonesome until you are done."

Edward whined and dropped his head to my shoulder, wrapping his toned arms tightly around me.

"I love you so much," he whispered into my ear, melting me with every syllable.

I smiled and kissed his shoulder, nuzzling him for a moment and enjoying our closeness. Regrettably, I knew we had plans and I was actually looking forward to hanging out with Alice and our new group of friends.

I liked the sound of that. _Our friends._

So I pulled away and got to my feet, helping my still-shaking boyfriend to his and pushing him down the hallway.

Fifteen minutes later, we were walking hand-in-hand down the sidewalk toward Spank's. It had grown dark by now, but the air was unseasonably warm. Edward and I grinned like fools at each other, swinging our hands between us. It was nice just strolling down the street with my boyfriend. And the fact that Jess and Lauren now knew we were an item surely meant the entire town of Forks would know by morning, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Now that I knew we wouldn't get in trouble at work, I was deliriously happy that we had been outed.

I giggled and he eyed me curiously.

"What?" he asked, pulling me close and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Nothing. Just happy," I replied, smiling up at him. He smiled back and kissed me on my nose.

We reached Spank's and walked through the front door, Edward's hand suddenly tightening in mine. Glancing up at him, I watched the carefree face he had been wearing since leaving Emmett's quickly morph into one of anxiety.

The bar was crowded, but I immediately spotted Alice, Rosalie and Jasper sitting in a corner booth across the room. I had prepared myself for Edward's apprehensions about being in a crowded bar, and hanging out with a group of people he barely knew. But I also wanted to help him relax those barriers he put up around himself. Everyone needed to have friends. And as much as I would have loved to sequester myself away with Edward on some deserted island in the middle of the ocean, I knew that wasn't a healthy option for either of us.

"Come on," I said to him quietly, squeezing his hand in mine.

He took a deep breath and looked down at me, his green eyes anxious behind his thin-rimmed glasses. If I could read his mind, I knew what it would be saying to me. _Don't leave me._

I shook my head slightly, letting him know that I wasn't going anywhere, before pulling him into the bar and towards the corner booth.

"Well, look who finally decided to come up for air," Rosalie said, grinning up at us.

I stuck my tongue out at her before turning toward Edward.

"Edward, you know Rosalie, don't you?" I asked.

Edward nodded and smiled shyly at her.

"We met the other day," Rosalie said, sliding further into the booth next to Alice. I sat down next to her and slid in, giving Edward room to sit beside me. He never let go of my hand.

"And you know Alice and Jasper," I added, nodding toward the couple on the other side of the booth. Alice was smiling at us and absentmindedly running her little fingers through Jasper's blonde curls.

"Hey, Edward," Jasper said, nodding at him. "It's been awhile."

Edward nodded back and cleared his throat. I could feel him trembling beside me, as he was pressed up very close against me. I squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"Did you have a nice workout?" Alice asked. My eyes widened as Edward began to choke on air, his hand smacking against his chest in some sort of effort to restart his own heart.

"Alice!" I admonished her.

Her blue eyes sparkled at me. "What? I meant at the gym, with Emmett." Her smile was so innocent, yet diabolical.

Edward cleared his throat several more times as he began to breathe normally again.

"Um…yes…thank you," he replied quietly.

Alice leaned forward. "What did you say? Sorry, it's getting loud in here, you'll have to speak up."

Edward moved his hand to my thigh and squeezed, and I pressed my lips together to hold in the yelp of pain.

"I said yes, thank you," Edward replied a bit louder.

"You two look like you work out a lot," Alice said.

Edward's hand didn't let up. I was sure I'd have bruises in the morning.

"Yes. A few days a week," he answered her, lowering his eyes to the table top.

I smiled and grabbed his hand, pulling with all my might until my poor thigh was finally granted a reprieve.

Thankfully, Emmett approached the table with a tray of drinks. He eyed Edward and me for a moment before smiling and shaking his head.

"Well, I can tell that you two didn't fuck, so I know I won't have to wash my sheets when I get home," Emmett said very loudly.

Edward and I turned matching 'what the hell did you just say?' faces toward him.

"Leave them alone. Just because you're not getting any doesn't mean you should lay the cockblock on your brother," Rosalie hissed at him, but I didn't miss the twinkle in her eye as they stared each other down.

"Touche, Miss Hale," Emmett replied, winking at her. "That may be the case now, but give me some time."

"Your dick may fall off with the amount of jacking off you're gonna have to do because I don't see sex in your near future at all," Rosalie said, licking her lips.

Jasper groaned and dropped his head back against the seat.

"Can we please not discuss y'all's sex life, sister mine?" he drawled.

"You mean lack of sex life," Alice added, smiling at Rose.

I looked at Emmett and watched his playful smile fall. I had wondered what actually transpired between him and Rosalie. I knew they had it out that night she first came into the bar, but I never did find out if they were back together or not.

I didn't know Rosalie all that well, but something told me she was going to make him work for it. And after hearing their little interaction, I knew I was on the right track.

Emmett quietly set the drinks out in front of us, beers for Edward, Jasper and I, an appletini for Alice, and a cosmo for Rose.

In an effort to break the awkward tension that suddenly parked itself at our booth, I raised my beer in the air.

"I'd like to make a toast to my best friend, Alice, newly-made entrepreneur and stylist extraordinaire. May Glow prosper under her leadership and many a woman and man experience the ultimate beautification and spa experience under her very capable, and well manicured hands," I said before tipping the bottle to my lips.

"To Alice!" everyone at the table shouted before drinking from their own individual beverages.

"Aw, thanks, Bella," Alice said, her eyes watering at me. "And thanks guys."

Jasper pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

"Well, I gotta work the bar a bit so let me know when you need refills," Emmett interjected. "It's on the house tonight."

Before we could protest he turned and walked back toward the bar, an obvious slouch in his shoulders.

I turned toward Rosalie. "So are you two…"

"Back together? No. I told him those meaty hands aren't coming anywhere near this body until he earns his way back."

"And what must he do to earn his way back?"

Rosalie shrugged her shoulders. "I'll know when I see it."

The conversation turned back to Alice and her plans for Glow, and soon Alice, Rosalie and I were immersed in conversations about hair products and exfoliating wraps and keratin treatments. Not that I was actually participating in the conversation, I was more just smiling and nodding my head dumbly like I knew what the hell they were talking about.

Edward kept a death grip on my hand, but as Jasper engaged him in some talk about the Civil War and the barbaric medical practices they employed, I felt his hand relax in mine. Out of the corner of my eye I watched him nod at Jasper and interject his own opinions here and there. He seemed to be really interested in this book Jasper was writing and even asked about where he was in the process.

I felt a sudden sense of pride at watching him get to know another person. Of course, I didn't miss the large gulps Edward frequently took from his beer bottle.

"Actually, that's something I'd like to talk to Bella about," Jasper said, catching my attention. I left the girls to their beauty talk and turned towards the boys.

"What's that?" I asked.

Jasper leaned over the table.

"Alice told me that you were an English major in college, and that you worked on the school paper as a writer and editor," he said.

I wrinkled my brow. "Yeah, but only for one semester because I took a job in the tutoring lab helping people with their term papers."

"You do a lot of proofreading on those term papers?" Jasper asked.

I shrugged. "Well, sure, I had to read over what they wrote, correct grammar mistakes, offer suggestions on writing style, tense, verb usage…the works. Some professors referred students to me sometimes too. It put a few dollars in my pocket, paid for books and stuff."

Jasper smiled. "How would you like to be my editor?"

"Huh?"

By now Rosalie and Alice had stopped talking.

"I told you Jasper was writing a book about the Civil War," Alice reminded me.

"Yes, I know, but I'm not…I mean…what do you mean?" I asked Jasper, confused as hell.

"Well, I'm just finishing up the final chapter and I'd love another set of eyes to look it over and give me some feedback."

_Oh, well, that's nothing._

"Okay, sure, I can take a peek," I said, lifting my beer bottle to my lips, taking a swig…

"I'll pay you five hundred dollars."

…and promptly spit my beer all over the table.

"What the hell?" Alice yelled, throwing a napkin at me.

Edward handed me a napkin and said something, but all I heard was five hundred dollars.

"What did you just say?" I shouted at Jasper.

He smirked at me. "I said, I'll pay you five hundred dollars."

"For reading your book?"

"For being my editor."

My mouth dropped. "Jasper, I'm not…I mean, I'm pretty good at grammar and stuff, but I sucked at history. I don't know anything about –"

"And, you see, I sucked at the grammar and stuff, but was a genius in history," Jasper interrupted. "I know the content is sound and properly cited; I just need a little tightening with my use of the English language."

My mind raced for a moment, incapable of believing I could get paid for something that always came so easily to me.

"You don't have to pay me. I'd be happy to do it for free."

Jasper shook his head. "No, no, I'd be taking up a lot of your time and I wouldn't feel right _not_ paying you for it. This isn't a term paper, Bella. This book has been my life for the past three years. It's my baby. And I'm putting it into your very capable hands. So for taking care of my baby, I _will_ be paying you."

I felt a little nauseous.

Edward's hand began rubbing up and down my thigh in a soothing manner, and I felt myself relax. I could do this. I could read a book about a subject I knew very little about and pick out the mistakes. I did it all the time back in college. And hell, I was so desperate for cash at the moment I'd dress up as a saloon girl and pose for one of those old-timey photos for the book's cover if Jasper wanted me to.

"All right, I'll do it," I said, staring Jasper right in the eye.

He smiled and lifted his bottle to me. "You got a deal, partner."

We clanked our bottle necks together and each took a drink.

"Yay, my bestie and my boyfriend will be working together," Alice trilled, clapping her hands together. "This is so exciting."

The rest of the night went by in a blur, and I was ecstatic to watch Edward relax around our friends. He even laughed at Alice once or twice. We had to work the next day so we both stopped after beer number two, but Alice and Rosalie were throwing them back like there was no end in sight. Jasper glanced at me and rolled his eyes, resigned to the fact that he'd be picking both Alice and his sister up off the floor before the end of the night. Emmett came over and joined us when he could, but the bar was pretty busy for a Tuesday night, so his visits were short, but chock full of lust-filled flirting and innuendos between him and Rosalie.

I suspected it would only be a matter of time before Rose gave in and jumped him.

Edward and I grew more affectionate as the night wore on, always touching each other in some capacity, yet we kept it PG-13. I didn't need our friends witnessing any lewd public displays of affection.

"Oooh, that reminds me," Alice said, reaching over her head and ripping an orange piece of paper off the wall. "Em is hosting a Halloween party here in two weeks. We all need to go, and I think we should theme dress."

"What the hell does 'theme dress' mean," Emmett said, dropping a basket of chicken fingers in front of Jasper and Edward.

"It means we pick a theme and all dress accordingly," Alice replied. "Duh."

"And I'm guessing you already have a theme in mind?" I asked, rolling my eyes at Alice.

She bounced in her seat and smiled wide. "Yes. The 1980s."

We all blinked at her.

"Al, the 1980s were coming to a close when we were born," I said.

Alice huffed and blew her bangs out of her face.

"Some 80s pop culture icons are still widely known today, and I think it would be fun," she replied, throwing a fry at my head.

We all looked at each other. Finally, Emmett spoke up.

"Fine, but we each get to pick our own costume," he said, grinning mischievously.

Alice's mouth fell open. "But…I had some ideas…"

"Nope, if you want me to 'dress to your theme' or whatever, I get to pick my own gig."

She glared at Emmett and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Fine, but it better be from the 80s."

His smile widened. "Oh don't worry, short stuff, it will be."

Alice still decided to voice her own costume ideas after Emmett returned to the bar, but I think most of us tuned her out.

I laid my head on Edward's shoulder and focused on the feel of his hand on my knee, or his lips on my forehead. I turned my head and ghosted my lips across his, relishing the feel of his body heat seeping into mine.

He planted one more quick kiss against my lips.

"I'll be right back," he murmured. I smiled at him as he rose from the table and walked toward the bathrooms.

I turned to find three sets of eyes, two of them bloodshot, staring back at me knowingly.

"What?" I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"So things are really good between you two, huh?" Rosalie asked, sipping from her glass.

I blushed and looked down at my hands in my lap.

"Are you kidding? She's over the moon in love with our Eddiekins," Alice slurred, pushing her head into Jasper's arm.

"Well, I think it's great," Jasper added, tilting his beer at me. "The two of you look very happy together."

I felt my blush grow deeper. "Thanks."

Rosalie sighed. "I miss that feeling, being in love…like your whole world revolved around that one guy…" Her eyes slid over to the bar where Emmett was unloading a box of liquor.

"Yes, love is the greatest thing in the world," Alice added. "And love surely does conquer all. Isn't that right, Bella?"

I tilted my head and looked at my best friend in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

She lifted her head from Jasper's shoulder and laughed.

"I mean after hearing what Edward went through in New Hampshire, I didn't think he'd be capable of opening himself up to any woman. What man would after enduring that?"

My stomach dropped and my heart seized in my chest.

"Alice…" Jasper said in a warning tone. "I don't think…"

"Wait," I interrupted him. "You know what happened to Edward in New Hampshire?"

Alice furrowed her brows. "Well, yeah, duh…what happened to him at Keane…"

"Keane?" I shook my head, unable to conceive that I was hearing all this correctly. "No, he went to Dartmouth. What's Keane?"

Alice's mouth opened and closed for a moment.

"Wait, Bella…you don't know, do you?" Rosalie asked from beside me. My eyes, stinging with tears, slid to her.

"You know too?"

She gasped and stared at me disbelievingly. "He didn't tell you?"

I turned my head towards Jasper. "And you know?"

Jasper looked apologetic, but he nodded minutely. I could only assume he was the one who filled Alice in, and Rosalie had obviously heard from Emmett. So there it was. Everyone knew about Edward's deep, dark secret except for me, his own girlfriend.

I wanted to throw up. For some reason, I felt betrayed. I didn't like being left out of the loop. This thing, whatever it was, had been haunting me since we first got together and I told myself to be patient, to let Edward tell me when he was ready. Now here I was, the only one still left in the dark.

"Bella, I…I'm sorry, I just assumed you knew…" Alice said, leaning over the table and reaching for my hand. I pulled back.

Just then Edward came back to the table. I looked up at him as he began to slide into the booth next to me. He smiled as our eyes met, but it quickly disappeared. I guess my face showed everything I was feeling inside. Betrayed. Left out. Humiliated.

"Bella?" Edward whispered, leaning towards me hesitantly.

"What is Keane, Edward?" I asked, venom lacing my voice. I was sliding past humiliated and headed towards pissed by now.

Edward's face went pale, his eyes widening behind his glasses. His hands began to tremble as he slid one through his hair a few times, gripping it at the roots and leaving it where it stood.

"Um…where did…um…" he stuttered, his eyes flickering around the table before lowering to his lap.

"What happened in New Hampshire? Are you ever going to tell me?"

He looked up at me pleadingly. "Please, not now. I told you I'd tell you, but not…not now…"

"Not now? Well, gee, I guess if I really need to know the story I could just ask anyone else at this table since I appear to be the only one here who _doesn't_ know," I spat.

"Bella, don't," Rosalie said, her hand lying on my shoulder. I shook it off. My eyes stayed on Edward, who was growing more agitated by the second. His entire body was shaking, and I was surprised he wasn't pulling hair out in clumps at this point.

"I…um…" His eyes darted around the table again, then among the crowds of people in the bar. "I...I can't…"

Edward jumped to his feet and walked swiftly towards the door, plowing into a group of people on his way who yelled and cursed at him as he took off.

And all I could feel was my heart sliding down my body, out through my toes, and laying lifeless on the dirty, sticky floor.

**~DYDM~**

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay in posting, real life reared its ugly head once again and is sending me frantically searching for a house to live in since mine sold so fast. Anyway, if you haven't guessed already, yes, the next chapter is the big reveal since I know a lot of you are like "tell us already!" And it won't be long before you have an update since I've had that chapter written more or less since the beginning. It's my "meadow dream", if you will.

On another note, for some reason I am being featured as the Author of the Month over at Twi Girls Next Door as March is "Geekward" month. I'm being interviewed this week and the Girls are hosting a readalong of DYDM on the 19th at 7 p.m. EST. Check it out!

As always, thanks to jennde for reading and advising…and to all of you for sticking with me and reviewing. *Hugs*


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Chapter 17**

"Ouch, Bella, that was harsh," Rosalie said.

"Rosie, don't," Jasper warned.

My eyes were still glued to the door through which Edward had escaped, watching random people enter and exit with smiles on their faces.

"No, Jasper, that was seriously fucked up," she snapped.

"What happened?" Emmett said, approaching us quickly with a look of concern. "I just saw Ed tear out of here."

"Bella and Edward had a little disagreement is all," Jasper replied, taking a large swig from his bottle.

I felt Emmett's eyes on me…well, everyone's eyes for that matter, but I couldn't tear my gaze away from the door.

"Bella found out that we all know what happened to Edward at Keene, and it didn't sit too well with her," Alice said sadly.

"So she bit Edward's head off for something that was completely not his fault," Rosalie chided.

That got my attention. I whipped my head around to glare at her.

"You don't know anything so mind your own damn business," I spat.

"It became my business when I had to sit here and watch you embarrass and upset Edward for something he didn't do," she hissed. "We didn't realize he hadn't told you yet. So yell at us for bursting your bubble. You didn't have to take it out on Edward."

"What would you have done? How would you feel if you finally found the one guy you know you were meant to be with, but there's this big, bad secret from his past that he won't tell you? And then you find out the entire world knows about this big, bad secret, except for you," I shouted, staring Rosalie down. My body was shaking and I could feel the tears start to run down my cheeks.

"Bella…" Alice said, reaching towards me again.

"No, Alice…it hurts, it fucking hurts to know that I'm the only one who still doesn't know. And what the hell is this Keene shit? He told me he went to Dartmouth. I mean, was he lying to me too?" I was feeling a bit hysterical at that point.

Emmett pulled me out of the booth and over to a dark corner near the bar.

"He didn't lie to you; I think he just left some things out about his past because it was all too painful for him to reveal to you yet. Here he is, finally with the girl he's been in love with since the first grade, and I've honestly never seen him happier. He's like a totally different person now. But underneath it all he has this extremely humiliating thing that will haunt him forever, and he's afraid to tell you because he's worried you'll see him differently."

"But that's not fair. I let him in, told him all about _my_ humiliation and the darkest point of my life. Why couldn't he do the same? That's what couples do, they let each other in. If he loves me so much, why can't he trust that I won't go running as soon as he divulges this big secret to me? Why can't he understand that there's nothing he can say to me that would make me leave him?" I cried.

Emmett sighed and squeezed my shoulder a few times.

"He's never been in a relationship before, Bells. He's never had a girlfriend, or friends for that matter. You know how he is with people. And…you know why that is. So maybe you can understand why it's hard for him to trust anybody, even the love of his life," Emmett said quietly, his eyes sympathetic.

I stared at Emmett, reality creeping its way back into my scrambled brain. Of course Edward would be scared and untrusting – even with me. If this thing that happened to him in New Hampshire was as bad as everyone was making it out to be, if it's something that haunted him, as Emmett said, then I was beginning to understand why Edward was so reluctant to tell me. He didn't want to lose me. I wasn't about to go anywhere, but he didn't know that for sure. He had never been as close with anyone as he was with me. He didn't know _how_ to trust.

The realization of how I had just acted toward Edward, frightening him off, hit me like a ton of bricks. I barely recalled Emmett leading me back to the booth as everything sunk in. The emotions cracked me open and I broke down, burying my face in my hands as I cried right there at the table. I could feel bodies shifting around me and then Alice's slight arms wrapping around my shoulders.

"It's all right, Bella," she said.

I shook my head.

"I'm a horrible bitch," I whined into my hands between sobs.

I heard a sigh from my right as another set of arms wrapped around my waist.

"No, that would be me," Rosalie said.

I shook my head. "No, you were right. I was harsh."

"No, you were hurt and confused and had to lash out. Trust me, I know what that feels like. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I deserved it," I wailed.

"Who are you calling?" I heard Jasper ask.

"My brother," Emmett answered. "Fuck, he's not answering his cell."

"This whole serious relationship thing is new to you, too, Bella," Alice said. "It's a whole 'learn as you go' kind of thing. But as long as you both remember how you feel about each other, you'll be able to fix the hiccups and bumps along the road and come out the other side all the better for it."

I cried harder.

"Do you love him?" Rosalie asked.

My breath caught in my throat.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you love him?"

I lowered my hands from my faced and turned to look at her.

"How would I know? I've only been with him for a week. Isn't it too fast?"

"Not for Edward."

"But Edward said he's loved me since we were kids, which I still can't understand."

"Because, Bella, you and Edward are soulmates," Alice said, grinning up at me with bloodshot eyes.

I sighed and wiped under my eyes. "I don't believe in that stuff."

She rolled her eyes. "Soulmates, split-aparts, love at first sight, destiny, Fate…believe it all. Because that's what you and Edward are."

"I can answer for you. Yes, you do love him," Rosalie stated matter-of-factly.

I looked over at her, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Because if you didn't, you wouldn't feel like your whole world just ended when he ran out that door," she added.

"Fuck!" Emmett exclaimed. "Ed, it's me. Please call me as soon as you get this. Let me know you're cool." He slid his cell phone shut and shoved it into his pocket.

"I'm sure he's fine, man. Probably just driving around or laying low. He'll surface," Jasper said.

Emmett shook his head. "You don't know Ed. He wallows and shit, gets depressed easily…"

My stomach clenched. Edward…depressed. And all because of me. Because of my harsh words.

_I…I hurt Edward._

My body took over as I jumped to my feet.

_I hurt Edward. I hurt…the man I love._

"I love him," I whispered, my eyes widening as I heard the words leave my mouth.

Four sets of eyes looked up at me expectantly.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Rosalie said, arching an eyebrow and nodding her head towards the door.

"I gotta go," I blurted as I grabbed my purse and ran out of the bar. Miraculously, I didn't trip and fall over anything, even clearing that dreaded step before throwing the door open.

Running toward my truck, I jumped inside and turned the key. The engine turned over and over…and over. Nothing.

"No!" I screamed, hitting steering wheel. "Don't do this to me, not now. Please! Not now."

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm my racing heart, I turned the key again. The engine coughed, and then nothing.

"Fuck, no!"

Laying my head on my hands, I cried again. Cried for the pain I caused Edward. Cried as I remembered the look on his face before he ran from me. Cried because it had been too long since I'd been in his arms. Would he ever forgive me and let me tell him I love him?

And for the first time in my life, I prayed. Clenching my eyes tight, I prayed to whoever would listen to let me make amends, to let me find him and love him like I was meant to…like he deserved.

"Daddy, please," I whispered, picturing Charlie's face in my mind and willing him to hear my prayer, wherever he was.

A small scratching noise caught my attention, causing me look up. I gasped as I gazed through the windshield, only to find a small robin hopping around on the hood of my truck. I found it odd since you don't usually see birds flying around at night, especially in the fall. But there it was.

And just as quickly as it had appeared, it flew away, leaving me perplexed. I blinked and shook my head, wiping my wet cheeks. Taking another deep breath, I tried the key one more time.

The engine roared to life and the truck jolted. I laughed and clapped my hands, crying in triumph. Throwing the truck in reverse, I turned to back out of my parking space and noticed the robin perched on the lamp post next to my truck.

I smiled at it. "Thanks, Charlie."

Once I was on the road back towards Forks, my mind raced with all the possible places Edward would go. He wouldn't go to the pharmacy. Nor would he go to my house. To my knowledge Edward didn't have any hangouts, so that left only one place.

I hurled my truck down the Cullens' long, narrow driveway and breathed a sigh of relief as I saw Edward's car parked in front of the garage. Hastily parking the truck and shutting it off, I jumped out of the cab and raced up the stairs to Edward's apartment door.

"Edward?" I shouted as I knocked on the door. "Are you in there?"

When I received no response, I banged harder.

"Edward, please!"

Still nothing.

I tried the doorknob, and thankfully the door opened. I rushed inside, calling out his name, but the rooms were all empty and dark.

Running back out the door and down the steps, I rushed over to the Cullens' front door and rang the bell repeatedly.

I heard footsteps quickly approaching from the other side of the door and my heart seized in my throat. The door flew open and I opened my mouth to start profusely apologizing to Edward…only to be met with the startled face of his mother.

"Bella?" she questioned, tentatively reaching a hand out towards me. "Are you all right?"

I could only imagine what I looked like at that point. My cheeks tear-stained and blotchy, my lips swollen from constantly gnawing on them, my eyes bloodshot and watery.

"What's the matter?" she asked, stepping closer to me.

"Edward?" I croaked.

Her eyes widened in alarm. "What about Edward? Is he all right? What happened?"

Her frantic questions were fired at me in rapid succession.

I shook my head. "Is he here?"

Esme's eyes shot behind me, no doubt seeing his car in the driveway. "He's not in his apartment?"

"No," I replied, my voice wavering as the emotions threatened to overcome me once more.

"I thought he was in Port Angeles with Emmett…what's going on? Please, tell me what happened."

She was talking, but my mind was elsewhere, tracking Edward's whereabouts like a GPS signal. His car was here, but if he wasn't in the house or in his apartment, that left only one place. The meadow.

_Our meadow._

"I…I have to go," I said, turning.

"Bella, wait!" she called after me, stepping out onto the front porch.

I stopped and turned back to her. Her eyes were filled with concern, but I also saw something else in them. Fear. Anxiety.

"I…I messed up, Mrs. Cullen," I blurted out. "I yelled at him for something that wasn't his fault, and he ran from me. I…I hurt him."

I couldn't stop the tears now if I tried. And here I was, confessing my sins to a woman who seemed against her son starting a relationship with me because of – I could only now guess – what happened to him in New Hampshire. Looked like Edward wasn't the only one with trust issues.

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands.

"I didn't mean to…I could never hurt him on purpose. He's everything to me…I hate myself for what I said to him. Please…I'm sorry," I sobbed.

And then something interesting happened. Esme lowered her hands and regarded me intently before taking two steps towards me and wrapping her arms around me tightly.

"Shhh," she said soothingly against my hair, rubbing my back gently. "Calm down, Bella. It'll be all right."

She rocked me back and forth a little bit and I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on her shoulder. The comfort she provided me was so motherly, so calming, and something that I didn't even realize until that moment I had seriously lacked my entire life. I never had a mother, and I thought I was better off for it considering the mother that birthed me wanted nothing to do with me. Yet here in Esme's embrace, with her soothing words, I was warm and pacified, missing something I never even had.

I cried on her shoulder for a few more moments before her calming motions worked their magic and I was down to a few hiccups and deep breaths.

Finally she pulled away, but kept her hands on my shoulders.

"Oh, Bella," she whispered. "I feel the need to apologize to you."

I blinked at her, confused.

"I fear we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. I'm know Carlisle and I haven't been completely…accepting of your relationship with Edward. And I'm sure I only came off as an overbearing, overprotective mother. I realize my son is a grown man, but unfortunately I can't help it. I feel like I have…a lot to make up for."

I sighed and instinctively reached up to squeeze her hand in mine.

"I never knew," she whispered, shaking her head as tears formed in her own eyes. "He hid it so well, growing up. I mean, there were times when I was called into school for one reason or another, and I knew he had some problems with some other boys, but I thought it was just typical boys being boys. Edward always said he was fine and I believed him. I should've looked deeper; I should've known he wasn't just lacking social skills because he was smarter than most of the other kids and couldn't relate to them. I should've known that his quiet demeanor wasn't because he was just bored academically. When the truth finally came out after he graduated high school…I…I felt like the worst mother in the world," she said, bursting into tears.

I wrapped my arms around her tightly – now it was my time to comfort her.

"If Edward or anyone else would've told you, you would've stopped it, Esme. I know you would have. Because I've always seen you as the perfect mother, always there for your boys, supporting them. You radiate love for them. You can't beat yourself up for what happened in the past, especially if you didn't know it was happening."

She sobbed and patted my back before pulling away and rubbing under her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall apart here," she said, brushing her hair from her face.

I smiled gently. "Well, considering I just did the same to you just a few minutes ago, I'd say we're even."

She smiled sadly and released a shuddering breath.

And then I decided to confess one last thing.

"I love him," I whispered.

She nodded. "I can tell."

"But I messed up."

"No, Bella, you didn't. It's because you love him that you felt hurt enough to yell at him for whatever reason it was."

"He…he hasn't told me what happened…in New Hampshire, but everyone else already knows."

Her eyes widened and she gasped.

"Now I understand why he hasn't told me yet. He thinks I won't want him anymore. But he doesn't realize there's nothing he could say that would make me leave him."

She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped. After a beat, her lips turned up into a smile and she nodded.

"Then you should go find him and tell him that."

I turned to go, but quickly looked back at her over my shoulder.

"I promise I'll do my best to never hurt him ever again. I promise to make him happy every single day for the rest of his life," I vowed, making sure the strength I felt at pledging such a thing could be heard.

She smiled widely at me as a tear slid down her cheek.

"What more could a mother hope for?" she said quietly.

I smiled back at her before turning and running to my truck. Throwing open the glove compartment, I retrieved the flashlight Charlie had always made me keep in there and headed straight for the path on the side of the house. Switching on the light, I found the trail that disappeared into the trees and walked as quickly as I could without tripping over any branches. Thank goodness it wasn't raining, although who knew how long that would last given where we lived.

As I walked, I steeled my resolve and prepared myself to hear Edward's story, as we were not leaving this meadow without him telling me. I knew it was something bad, something humiliating, and I mustered up as much strength as I could so I wouldn't completely fall apart as he relived this dark memory.

_I love him._

And that was where I found that strength…in my love for Edward.

The flashlight guided the way through the dark, and somewhere in the recesses of my emotionally taxed brain I hoped there weren't any predatory animals stalking the woods at that moment. The air was still warm and humid, and I knew rain was on the horizon. I just hoped it held off long enough for us to resolve this.

With the help of the light, I spotted the opening to the clearing just ahead, and I stopped walking. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before taking a few slow steps towards it. My ears strained for any sound over the chirping crickets and moans of the tree limbs swaying in the breeze. And then I heard the distinct sound of someone crying.

And my heart shattered.

I broke through the tree line into the clearing and found Edward sitting on a red plaid blanket with his arms wrapped around his legs, his face buried in his knees as he rocked back and forth. His whimpers and moans gutted me.

I ran toward him, tears once again falling relentlessly from my eyes. I fell to the ground behind him and wrapped my arms and legs around his shaking form. I felt him tense within my embrace, his cries ceasing quickly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," I said into his ear, repeating it over and over until I felt his body relax in my arms.

He slowly raised his head from his knees, but he never turned to look back at me. He merely kept his gaze staring straight ahead into the dark. His body went eerily still, yet he made no move to unwrap my arms and legs from around him. So I kept my face buried against his neck, taking in large breaths to calm my own shaking body.

When he spoke, his voice was hoarse, but his tone even and somewhat lifeless.

"Senior year of high school, everyone was sending out their college applications, but I waited. I knew I would get accepted to wherever I applied. I even had scholarships offered to me starting junior year. But I held back because…I…I wanted to know where you were going to college. Because I wanted to follow you there. Finally, in the spring I overheard you tell someone you got accepted to the University of Washington, and my heart sank. That was the one place I had hoped you wouldn't go…because that's where Emmett was. And I couldn't go to the same school as him. Back then…I didn't like my brother very much. And I was tired of living in his shadow.

"I had to think realistically then. I wouldn't be attending the same college as you. Dartmouth was always my second choice, but I had hesitated in applying because I couldn't imagine being on the other side of the country from you. But after graduation, I didn't see you anymore, and add my parent's insistence and ultimatums, I finally applied. However, it was far past the application deadline to start the fall semester, and I still had to take the entrance exams, which I did that summer. Dartmouth accepted me, of course, but I couldn't start until the spring semester.

"So to bide my time, I enrolled at Keene State College in New Hampshire for the fall to earn some basic credits that would transfer to Dartmouth and make my move a bit easier. I can remember the flight there and the pain in my chest as I felt like I was leaving a piece of myself behind in Washington," he said, sighing and dropping his head against my arm.

I squeezed him tighter and placed a kiss at the base of his neck.

After a moment, he raised his head again and resumed his stare into the dark.

"Classes at Keene were easy. I took eighteen credits that semester so I wouldn't fall behind once I started at Dartmouth. I immersed myself in my studies. I found it the only way to…keep my mind off other things. I was taking an Advanced Chemistry class…and that's where I met Jane."

He cleared his throat before his hand moved and clasped mine over his chest.

"She was a junior and sat next to me in Chem, and we were eventually partnered up for a project. She was…quiet, like me, and I was genuinely impressed with how easily the science came to her. But more than that, she…she had long brown hair, and a heart shaped face and a bright smile. She…reminded me of you. Except for her eyes. She had blue eyes. Not the warm, deep brown eyes of my Bella."

His hand tightened around mine.

"Jane was patient with me and coaxed me out of my shell a bit. Since we were partners we had to meet up outside of class a few times, mostly at the library or in the science center. Eventually we would meet at a nearby diner to eat while we worked, and in that environment it was easy to forget school for a moment and talk about other things. I found myself relaxing around her. We talked about Keene and how we both weren't into the party scene that seemed to be alive and well there, with its constant frat parties and bonfires and whatever other excuse to encourage drinking until you were throwing up your intestines. We liked a lot of the same things, books, movies, music…even philosophers. Before I knew it, I found myself wanting to see more of Jane, and she seemed to feel the same.

"We went to the movies a few times and hung out together, even long after our project was done and turned in. We'd study together and just walk the campus talking about nothing and everything. It wasn't long before I found myself having feelings for her that were more than friendship. I didn't know if it just because I was missing you so badly and the attention she was giving me was a nice distraction, or if it was because she reminded me of you so much.

"One night, late in the fall, I woke up in the middle of the night to my phone ringing. It was Emmett. I had heard about his football injury from my mother a week earlier. I did feel bad for him, but I couldn't bring myself to call him. After all, when had he ever been there for me? Anyway, he was obviously very drunk and he just kept talking and apologizing for, in his words, 'being a complete dickhead and sorry excuse for a brother' while we were growing up, and if he could he'd go back in time and beat the shit out of all those motherfuckers who laid a hand on me or said those horrible things to me. He said he realized now what was important in life, and he didn't want to let another day go by without telling me all of this.

"After I listened to his drunken rant, I realized it was heartfelt and that he meant every word. We hung up and I spent the rest of the night letting his words sink in. I made the decision to not let another day go by without telling Jane what I was feeling…that it was time for me to maybe…finally…find a little happiness in my life."

His voice trailed off again, and I heard his words catch in his throat. I kissed him again on his neck and rubbed my nose softly against his skin. He shivered and I lifted my free hand to his hair, gently pulling my fingers through it. Edward sighed and leaned back against me, his hand now clinging to mine so tightly. I knew the bad part was coming now, as he seemed to be holding on to me to keep me from running.

_I'm not going anywhere._

"Jane and I were walking home from dinner one night soon after. She was holding my hand and I liked how it made me feel. I had prepared this whole speech, practiced it a dozen times to my bathroom mirror, and just as I was about to open my mouth to recite it all to her, she surprised the hell out of me by telling me first. She told me she really liked me and was hoping we could be more than friends. I told her I felt the same way, and then…she kissed me. It was chaste, but it was still my first kiss. We stood there grinning at each other before she asked if I wanted to go back to her room with her. I agreed and she said she just had to make a quick call to make sure her roommate wasn't there. She walked away from me, talking quickly on her cell phone before hanging up and beckoning me to follow her.

"She led me to a big white house, and it was only then that I discovered Jane was in a sorority, and lived in a sorority house with a bunch of other girls. At the time, I didn't know why she withheld that from me. She took my hand and quickly led me through the house and the up the stairs to her room.

"As soon as the door closed, she pushed me down on her bed and became a bit…aggressive. She was kissing and licking my throat, her hands were everywhere, and she was whispering…suggestive things in my ear. I didn't know what to do or how to react. Before I knew it, she was telling me she wanted to have sex with me and was pulling my clothes off. She was still fully clothed at this point, and I had yet to lay a hand on her or even kiss her on the lips again. I was confused, not knowing who this version of Jane was. I only knew Jane as a quiet, gentle person who liked to hold hands and take long walks."

Edward swallowed audibly and I felt his body begin to tremble violently. I tightened my hold on him, but it didn't seem to help.

"Edward…" I began, but he cut me off.

"The next thing I knew I was completely naked in her bed and she was looking down at me and smiling. I was scared, but I tried not to let it show. I thought, this was part of getting close to someone. Being intimate was a part of being in a relationship. And while it felt all wrong – the wrong place, the wrong time, the wrong…woman – I would do it if Jane wanted me to."

The trembling in his body became so bad I could feel it as he leaned against me.

"There was a knock at the door and Jane started laughing. She opened the door and…and a group of guys came in. They were all wearing matching coats with fraternity symbols down the sleeves. I sat up and tried to cover myself with a blanket but four of them grabbed me and pulled me to my feet."

His words caught in his throat and I felt a sliver of fear travel down my spine – I could only guess where this story was leading. I wanted to clap my hands over my ears and not hear anymore, but I couldn't whimp out now. I wanted to know, and he was sitting here spilling everything to me.

_Be careful what you wish for._

"I remember…I can remember yelling and trying to push them off, but…they were stronger than me…they were always stronger…" he whispered as he resumed rocking back and forth against me.

"Shhh, baby…I'm right here," I whispered into his ear.

His grip on my hand was so tight it was painful, but I didn't dare tell him. He needed to know I wasn't pulling away.

"I asked Jane what was going on and she just…she just laughed at me and then…she wrapped her arms around one of the guys. He grinned at me and started kissing her neck. This other guy next to them rolled his eyes and called him Demetri, told him to give it a rest with his sister. Jane said 'Fuck off, Alec' before she looked back at me. She said to me, 'Sorry, sweetie, but whatever my man wants, he gets.'

"The big guy, Demetri, he kissed her again and then nodded to one of the other guys holding me. He yelled 'What are you waiting for, recruits?' and the next thing I knew, they…they put a black bag over my head and…and I was pulled down the stairs. I heard the house full of girls laughing and whistling. Then I felt the cold air on my body…"

A maelstrom of emotions brewed within me. Anger, fear, sadness, vengeance, guilt. Had I just opened my damn eyes a few years sooner and seen Edward right in front of me, I could have saved him from this humiliation.

"They tossed me into the trunk of a car. They drove for a while. I was so afraid I…I pissed myself and…I couldn't stop crying…"

Edward choked on a sob before releasing a loud wail. I clenched my eyes shut and tightened my hold around him.

"Edward…you don't have to say anymore. Just stop," I implored him, not wanting to hear any more of this horror.

But he just kept going, choking on the words through his tears.

"The car finally stopped and I felt the cold air again when they opened the trunk. They laughed when they saw me lying in a puddle of my own urine and called me some pretty colorful names. Then they pulled me out of the trunk and threw me on the ground.

"They each took a turn giving me three smacks on my bottom with a wooden paddle. I couldn't see anything, but I knew Jane was there, too. I could hear her still laughing.

"When they were finished, they just got back into their car and drove away, leaving me there. It took me a few minutes before I had enough courage to pull the damn bag off my head. But once I did, I found myself on a dark, deserted road in the middle of nowhere. I had no idea where I was, or how to get back to campus. And I was still…completely naked."

Edward was gasping for breath and I couldn't take it anymore. I unwrapped my arms and legs from him and scurried around to face him. As quickly as I could, I pushed his legs down and straddled his lap and took his face in my hands, much like I did that day between the dumpsters at work.

His eyes were wide as he stared up at me, and all I could see in them was fear. I wiped the tears from his cheeks and kissed him before taking his hand and laying it on my chest over my heart.

"Breathe with me, baby," I said, keeping my eyes locked with his. "You're all right. You're here with me."

His other hand reached around in his coat pocket and took out the familiar vial of pills. Handing them to me, I quickly popped off the cap and slid one into his waiting palm. He dry swallowed it and then took a few deep breaths with my coaching.

He seemed to calm down after a few minutes, but much to my horror he lowered his eyes and removed his hand from my chest. He looked…ashamed.

"Edward?"

He remained silent, looking absolutely defeated.

"Please, please don't pull away from me," I said quietly. "It wasn't your fault. You have to know that. You were the victim of a shitty hazing prank. But you have no reason to feel ashamed or guilty over something that was completely out of your control."

Slowly his eyes raised to mine. And then, his lips turned up slightly in the corners.

"Emmett said the same thing to me, right before he beat the shit out of them."

I quirked my brow. "Oh, really?"

He proceeded to tell me the rest of the story, how he had no choice but to walk down the deserted road with nothing but that damn bag to cover himself with, and how after a few miles a police car actually pulled up alongside him. He told the officer the entire incident. After giving Edward a blanket to cover him completely, he drove him back to campus where the police worked with campus security to apprehend Jane, Demetri and Alec.

In the meantime, the Cullens had been called and immediately flew East, joined by Emmett. As the investigation progressed, Alec eventually gave up the names of the other offenders in the fraternity. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen had some choice words with the president of the college, who assured them that the entire fraternity would be put on probation, if not shut down.

"Once Emmett saw the list of names of everyone who was there that night, he tracked down the frat house, kicked down the door and called out each one of them by name. Even with a busted knee he managed to beat two of those guys damn near unconscious before campus police showed up. He spent two nights in jail after the families of those two guys threatened to press charges, but once the entire story came out they realized they'd rather not let their sons' misdeeds make the front page headlines, so Emmett was released. Although he did have to pay a pretty hefty fine."

"That was money well spent," I said, smiling softly. "I think I have a new found respect for your brother."

Edward shrugged. "I guess his rant about knowing what was important wasn't just some drunken ramblings. He told me he owed me, and I think…right then and there was when I felt like I could forgive him for turning his back on me for all those years."

I nodded and ran my fingers through his hair, feeling the warm breeze wash over us and drying our tears. The quiet was comforting.

"Do you…do you think less of me?" he asked meekly. My hands froze.

"Why would you say such a thing?"

"I thought…I thought leaving Forks and going to college on the other side of the country would be my escape from the crap I had to deal with growing up. I thought in college I'd finally be seen for my intelligence and not for my looks. I never expected to meet Jane or have feelings for her. In hindsight, I know it was only because she reminded me of you. But in the end, it was just another school with another set of bullies and once again, I was an easy target."

"And why would I think less of you for that?"

"Because…because I was so weak. Because I let my emotions keep me from seeing Jane for what she really was. Because I was too much of a coward to follow my heart and stay in Washington with you, even if you didn't give me a second glance."

My throat tightened.

"Oh, Edward," I whispered, shaking my head. "There is nothing you could ever do or say that would make me think badly of you. I only wish I did give you that second glance, because maybe then I would have seen how absolutely amazing and wonderful you are, and how perfect we are together. Had I known back then how utterly content and complete you make me feel, I would have kissed you for knocking me in the head with that library door."

We laughed a little as I continued to massage his scalp with my fingers.

"So, what happened to them?" I asked, hoping they were all stripped naked in the middle of the quad and beaten until their asses bled.

"They were put on academic probation and the fraternity was shut down. They asked me if I wanted to press charges, but honestly I just wanted the whole thing behind me so I declined, much to my parent's and Emmett's disapproval. I earned my credits and transferred to Dartmouth in the spring, and, well, you know the rest of _that_ story.

"My parents were pretty shaken up once Emmett told them about our school years and some of the things he knew I went through. There were a lot of family discussions and heart-to-hearts. We came through it a little worse for wear, but all the better for it, I think. Emmett dropped out of school after he lost his football scholarship, but he said he wanted to mend things between us and needed the time to do that. He flew out to Dartmouth a lot to stay with me in my apartment. We talked a lot, got drunk together a lot, and hit the gym a lot…you know, male bonding. Although I think he secretly just wanted to be my bodyguard.

"My parents wanted me to get some counseling, but I didn't want to rehash the past. My dad prescribed these anti-anxiety meds for me if things ever got…bad, and Emmett insisted on teaching me how to throw a punch."

"And now your parents are extra protective of you, and cautious of any…women who come into your life," I added.

He blushed. "Uh, yeah…sorry about that."

I shrugged. "It's okay. I get it now."

Edward stared up at me, his glasses perched haphazardly on his nose. I giggled and straightened them.

"I need to apologize to you for yelling at you back at the bar," I said morosely.

Edward began to shake his head in protest, but I grabbed it with my hands.

"No, let me do this please," I begged. He nodded and I continued.

"I acted out of anger, not even thinking about the bigger picture. You probably didn't know that Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie all knew about what happened to you, and I didn't allow myself the chance to realize that. All I saw was them staring at me with their mouths open, not understanding why you hadn't told me yet and feeling like the only one at that table left out of the loop over something that had to do with my own boyfriend."

"I didn't know they all knew, except Jasper. He was friends with my brother and knew why Emmett dropped out of school," Edward said. "But, Bella, please believe me when I say I was going to tell you everything. I just…needed to be in the right frame of mind and I was…really afraid of…" He trailed off, his eyes darting to the side.

"Afraid of what?" I asked. "Afraid I'd leave you?"

He nodded hesitantly.

"Edward Cullen, I'll only say this once more. There is nothing…_nothing_ you could do or say that would make me leave you. You're stuck with me, buddy," I said, poking him in the chest.

Slowly he smiled up at me, his reddened eyes twinkling behind his glasses.

"Oh, that reminds me," I began, my heart racing in my chest. "I have a little confession to make. You see, I have a secret, too."

"You do?" he asked, his brow furrowing.

I nodded. "And I'm sorry to say that you're the last to know because I already told Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett…even your mom."

He tilted his head and looked confused. "My mom? What is it?"

I placed my hands on the sides of his head, burrowing my fingers in his long hair and rested my forehead against his. Taking a deep breath, the words that had been imprisoned in my brain and in my heart finally fell freely from my lips.

"I love you."

I swear in my entire life I had never spoken any other words with more truth. I felt energized and reborn after my profession, and as Edward gasped I repeated those three words to him over and over again.

We spoke of our love for each other in between kisses that grew in intensity as my heart swelled with the emotion of the moment. And as we pulled away from each other, my eyes never left his as we smiled serenely, knowing what was about to happen right there in our meadow.

~DYDM~

**A/N: **Many thanks to my beta, **jennde**, for all of her help.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Many thanks to **jennde** for reading through this for me!

**Chapter 18**

_I love you._

As we sat on that red plaid blanket wrapped around each other, our lips moving slowly yet passionately together, I couldn't help but wonder at how we got here. Me, plain, boring, unimpressionable Isabella Swan, known solely for being the uncoordinated daughter of the town's police chief, finding the love of my life in a boy I only barely knew as being nerdy, smelly, awkward, and a prime target for every bully within a three-mile radius.

A boy I'd be professing my undying love to until the world ended.

Dramatic much? Very. But I felt in times of emotional overload one can't help but have a flair for sappy dramatics.

And here we were, making out like hormonal teenagers, knowing full well where this road was taking us. Yet I never felt the slightest twinge of panic or nerves. I always thought if I ever dared to have sex again, I'd have visions of dead fish floating above my head like some twisted cartoon, and then my insecurities would hold me back.

But, no, this was right. This was meant to be.

Perhaps Alice was right with all her Fate and soulmate jibberish. I honestly couldn't think of any other explanation for the intense connection I felt to Edward.

"Bella," he whispered against my lips. His hands squeezed my hips as he pulled me tightly against him, allowing me to feel how more intense that connection was about to become.

"Make love to me," I whispered in response, wanting nothing else in that moment. I didn't care that we were outside in the middle of an open field somewhere on his parents' property. I wanted to feel connected to him, to lose myself in the impenetrable bond sparking and crackling between us.

Nodding slightly, he shifted our bodies so he was up on his knees, laying me back on the blanket. My chest heaved as I gasped for breath, my entire body ignited with anticipation of what was to come. This certainly wasn't our first time being intimate – just a few hours ago I had him pressed against the wall with his cock down my throat.

But this was going to bring our relationship to the next level. I already knew I was forever tied to this man on an emotional and spiritual level, and now we'd be there physically.

Edward leaned over me, bracing his weight on his arms on either side of my head. He gently brushed his nose against mine as I reached up and pulled the glasses off his face, folding them and laying them next to the blanket.

His warm breath cascaded over my face and I shivered, although I knew I wasn't from the chill in the October night. Lifting my head, I whispered a kiss against his lips, and he sighed.

When I rested my head back on the blanket, I opened my eyes to find his staring down at me in awe.

"Am I dreaming?" he asked quietly. I wondered if it was a rhetorical question.

Smiling, I shook my head, running my fingers through his hair.

"There have been so many nights I've dreamt of you…like this…beneath me…asking me to make love to you, your beautiful brown eyes staring up at me and filled with such love…for me…" He trailed off, shaking his head slightly. "This has to be a dream."

"This is real, baby," I replied, "and I love you so much."

"I love you."

"Show me," I whispered, tightening my grasp in his hair.

He kissed me deeply, our tongues gliding together, our breath mingling in our mouths.

"I should be nervous," he whispered against my lips. "I've never done this before."

"I know," I said. "Me too."

He paused and pulled back, questioning me with his eyes.

I sighed and ran my finger along his jaw.

"No, I'm not a virgin, but you have to remember that entire experience was hell for me. With you, right now…this is my first time. This is what I want to remember it being."

_This is the first time I should've had._

"And I'm just as clueless as you are about what to do," I added, smiling impishly at him. He smiled back. "But this is you and me, and so far we've been getting it right, wouldn't you agree?"

He nodded.

"That's how I know it'll be perfect, and why I'm not nervous," I said, concluding my rant with a kiss.

_Less talking, more action._

Edward groaned and pressed his body against mine.

"I love you, Bella," he moaned, as I opened my legs to allow him to get closer.

"I love you too," I replied breathlessly as he began to trail his lips down my neck.

Arching my back, I dragged my nails over his shoulders as he continued to lick and nip at my neck and then my collar bone. I felt his hands begin to loosen the buttons on my shirt, and in turn I grabbed the hem of his and pulled upward. He pushed up for a moment to allow his shirt to come off before finishing my buttons.

Before long all of our clothes littered the ground surrounding us, our shoes in a pile at the foot of the blanket. We were bare before each other, panting heavily in this moment of anticipation.

With Edward cradled between my thighs, I reached down and found him hard and heavy. I began to stroke him as he moaned and lowered his mouth to my breast, licking and sucking my nipple before gently taking it between his teeth.

_Oh my stars, this feels amazing._

His hand squeezed my thigh as his mouth moved to my other breast, his lips and tongue moving with more urgency as my hand gripped and stroked him faster.

"Edward," I moaned. He grunted in response. "I need you…I want you inside me, baby."

"Oh, Bella," he cried out, lifting his head and joining our lips in a searing kiss.

I pulled my hand away from him and felt the tip of him enter me slightly. Our eyes locked, his chest rising rapidly against mine. For a moment I could sense the hesitation in him, could see it in his brilliant green eyes – the doubt, the fear, the insecurity. I knew I had to ground him, to bring him back to me, to help him realize he could never fail, not in my eyes.

Reaching down, I took his hand from my thigh and laced our fingers together, squeezing it tightly.

"Always," I whispered, hoping he could see in my eyes the depth of my love for him. I brought our joined hands to my lips and kissed them before resting them over my heart.

Edward's eyes softened, those traces of fear seeping out of them. He shifted his hips slightly and pushed inside me a bit further, but not completely. He exhaled heavily before pulling out and pushing back in until his hips were flush with mine.

We gasped simultaneously as Edward's body froze above mine, still as a statue, his hair falling over his face as he stared down at me in wonder.

I couldn't even describe what it felt like to be completely filled by him. Edward was definitely on the larger side and I could feel my body stretching to accommodate him. But there was no pain or discomfort. Only pleasure. It felt natural, like he belonged nestled inside me like this. Like we were built specifically to join together in this most intimate way.

"Are you all right?" he asked me quietly, his voice trembling.

I bit my lip and nodded, the emotion of the situation finally hitting me.

_He's inside of me. We're making love. It's really happening._

"Are you?" I asked in return.

He nodded and smiled down at me.

Edward began to move his hips experimentally, sliding out ever so slowly and pushing his way back in. The entire length of our bodies touched as he lay fully on top of me, our hands still clasped over my heart. The sensations running through my body were enough to render me speechless. All I could do was feel.

As his hips settled into a rhythm, I began to experiment on my own, lifting my hips slightly every time he pushed inside me. I decided quickly that I liked that, as it only made him go deeper. From the loud groan Edward expelled I surmised he liked it too.

"You feel so amazing," he groaned, finally breaking our stare to burrow his face between my neck and my shoulder. "I could have never dreamed this…how perfect this feels…that I'd ever have this in my life…"

I felt the heat of his breath against my neck mingled with something warm and wet, and when I felt his body shudder on top of mine I realized he was crying. I let go of his hand and wrapped my arms and legs around his body, effectively caging him against me as our hips continued to rock against each other.

There was no holding back the tears from my own eyes as the beauty of this experience nearly knocked the wind out of me. I knew Edward wasn't crying because he was sad, just overwhelmed. I knew because I was feeling the same way.

Overwhelmed that another person could love me so much.

"I love you," I choked out, pressing my cheek against his. He sobbed and moaned as his hips picked up speed, and I could feel the tingling in my lower abdomen begin to grow and spread outwards until something snapped inside of me. I cried out, throwing my head back and gripping Edward's hair in my fists as wave after wave of euphoric pleasure washed over me, leaving me breathless.

In my peripheral vision I could see Edward's hands grabbing at the blanket and tightening it in his fists as he pressed his pelvis hard against mine. He lifted his head and stared down at me in amazement, his jaw slack and eyes wide as he moved his hips once, twice, and a third time before holding completely still. His face contorted slightly, his eyes fluttering a bit before they closed completely. He dropped his body back down on mine and moved his hands to my head, burying his fingers in my hair as he fought to regain his breathing.

I kept my arms and legs locked around him, unwilling to release him at all. We held each other like that for what seemed like hours, but was really only minutes, until we left heaven long enough for the chill in the fall air to seep in.

We untangled ourselves leisurely, permanent smiles plastered on our faces. He stood up in all his naked glory and offered me his hand, pulling me to my feet. There was no awkwardness as we dressed each other in silence. We spoke in loving touches and gentle kisses, relaying to each other how incredibly special the whole experience had been.

I thought I'd feel different after making love with Edward. And I was right, I did feel different.

_I love him even more._

Once we were dressed and in our coats once more, I slid Edward's glasses on his face before he reached down and grabbed the blanket. We walked hand in hand back toward the trail, but Edward stopped at the tree line. Turning around, he took a long look at open space.

"This meadow means so much more to me now," he murmured. I smiled and pulled him back towards the trail.

We walked through the dark forest with my flashlight lighting the way. Every so often Edward would lift our joined hands to his mouth and run his lips over my knuckles, making me melt. Overall I felt like a puddle of goo – having the orgasm of your life will do that to you.

The lights of Edward's parents' house came into view, and I wondered if Esme was still standing in the doorway worrying about her son. What would I say?

_Oh hi, Esme, I found Edward and we talked things out. And then I took your son's virginity in front of God and all the animals of the forest. Cool?_

Luckily. she was nowhere to be seen as our feet found pavement again. I could feel Edward begin to fidget as he idly played with my fingers, and I look up at him curiously.

He stopped between my truck and the steps to his apartment.

"Will you stay with me tonight…again?" he asked quietly, his eyes lowering to watch his thumb rub over my fingers.

_Oh, baby, will that insecurity ever go away?_

"Already planned on it," I replied, smirking. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Mr. Cullen."

Edward's eyes shot up to mine and I swear his green eyes deepened so quickly they looked almost black. He turned and quickly pulled me up the stairs, threw open his apartment door and pushed me inside.

And he showed me just how much he liked it two more times before we both passed out.

~DYDM~

"_Can we do it again?"_

My dream mind replayed the last few hours for me as I slept peacefully wrapped around my starfish sleeper, fingers permanently embedded in his hair, at least it felt that way. I couldn't help but laugh when he asked me that after the second time we made love, which ended up being a bit raunchier than the first time. I knew that with Edward it would always be making love, but that second and third time could only be described as fucking.

And the mouth on that boy…holy shit. Edward said things that would have melted the panties right off of me had I been wearing any. He had me coming three or four times before he finally released inside me, only to ask me such an innocent, almost childlike question in his most gentle voice.

_By all means, let's go again!_

We tried a few different positions, but I could tell Edward really liked to be on top. He had gained a bit more confidence in his moves, which I thought were spectacular to begin with. But I could feel the shift in him, when he really let himself go and just let his body take over.

The blare of the alarm clock startled me from my happy sex dreams, and I disentangled myself from Edward to roll over and slap the damn thing silent.

_Work today. Grrr…_

Burrowing my face in the pillow, I sighed and felt my eyes slide shut as my body began to slip back into sleep. In my state of limbo, I vaguely felt the bed shift before gentle fingers began to run up and down my bare back.

"Bella," he whispered sweetly in my ear. "We need to get up for work."

"Don't wanna," I grumbled.

Edward chuckled beside me before placing his lips just below my ear.

"Me neither, but we need to be mature, responsible adults and all that."

"Not today. Wanna stay in bed all day."

Edward's lips moved to my shoulder as his hand began to trail down my back.

"Hmmm, that does sound like a more enticing idea. And what would we do if we were to stay in bed all day?" he murmured seductively in my ear.

_Okay, I'm awake._

"I could think of a few things."

"Like what?" he whispered, nibbling on my ear lobe and creating all kinds of tingles throughout my body.

"Hmmm…like…reading a book?"

I felt Edward freeze behind me for a moment before he began to chuckle again.

"A book? Is that right?" he asked, sliding his hand over my hip and squeezing gently.

"Or…a pillow fight? Jigsaw puzzle? Discussing the latest research in the field of pharmaceuticals?" I started to giggle as his fingers tickled my sides lightly.

"Oh, baby," he moaned, making me gasp. "You don't know how sexy it would be to discuss pharmacological research with you…"

Edward pressed his body against my back and rolled me to my stomach as his hand slid up to cup my breast. I could feel him hard against my thigh, and I instinctively rolled my hips against him. Needless to say, my giggles quickly morphed into wanton moans.

One of the benefits of sleeping naked? Easy and immediate access.

I continued to roll my hips against him as his lips trailed kisses up and down my spine. I could tell when it was getting to be too much for him when his hands grew more aggressive in their groping and his breaths turned into heavy pants. Soon he was sliding back up my body with his lips right at my ear.

"Can I have you like this?" he asked, his voice husky and filled with oh so many orgasmic promises.

"Uh huh," I replied, only really able to nod my head emphatically in response.

His fingers pinched and pulled at my nipple and I moaned out loudly. He pushed me fully on my stomach and I spread my legs, immediately feeling him push inside me for what seemed like the umpteenth time since last night. The goods may be a little sore from all that lovin', but even so I would never get enough of him.

Edward moaned and pressed his forehead to the back of my head. I buried my face in my pillow to muffle my own cries of ecstasy.

"You're so much tighter this way," he mumbled against my hair.

Turning my head to the side, I arched my back to raise my ass just a bit higher as he began to move. I had to admit in this position I felt more sensitive, and with every thrust inside of me he hit that one spot that could make me fall completely apart in no time.

"Does this feel good?" he whispered into my ear.

"Yes, oh god, yes," I replied breathlessly.

Edward groaned my name as he thrust in and out of me slowly. His hand was still attached to my breast but pinned between my body and the bed. His hips moved in a sensual rhythm, and I reveled in the fact that he was such a natural at this.

"Bella…" he moaned, pressing his head into my shoulder blade. His hand left my breast and moved to my thigh, quickly sliding between my legs. His fingers trailed slowly over my sensitive flesh.

"Ah, fuck!" I cried out.

Edward released a sexy growl and I grew so wet I could hear it as his thrusts turned more forceful. All I could do was arch my back more to urge him deeper.

"Is this…fuck…is this all right?" he panted in my ear.

"Baby, don't stop…don't stop fucking me…"

It felt so good, I didn't want it to stop. I could even ignore the pain in my lower back from arching it so much and the fact that my legs were practically numb at this point. The pleasure far outweighed anything else until my mind switched to some blissful state of euphoria and all I could focus on was the steady pounding of Edward's hips against mine.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he chanted, the sweat of his body causing his chest to slide against my back.

I raised my head as my mouth dropped open in a silent scream.

"Are you coming?" he asked me. "I can feel you…squeezing my cock…"

And that was all I needed to finally push me over the edge.

"Yes, that's it," he praised me. "I can feel it…oh, you feel amazing baby…I'm going to come so hard…"

His fingers stilled against me and he buried his face into my hair, groaning through his release. We rolled to our sides and gasped for breath. Minutes later, when we finally regained the ability to breathe, stupid reality had to creep its way back in.

"Guess we should get up. I have to run home to get changed," I said, frowning at the clock. But Edward didn't move.

"Baby, did you fall back to sleep?" I asked, nudging him with my elbow.

"No," he replied, sighing. "Would it make me sound completely desperate and obsessed with you if I said I never wanted to separate our bodies?"

I laughed. "No, I think it's sweet. But I don't think we could go to work like this. People might talk."

Edward chuckled and pulled away from me, rolling onto his back. I turned to my side to face him, slow in my movements as my body resembled something much like jelly. He smiled at me and we just laid there staring at each other for a while, unwilling to leave our little bubble of sexual bliss.

"I love you," I said, lifting my hand to run my fingers through his hair.

"I love you too," he replied, taking my hand and kissing my fingers.

Sighing, I decided to get the ball rolling since I actually really had to pee. I rolled off the bed and stood, ready to walk to the bathroom when that jelly-like substance that was now my leg muscles made itself known. I took one step and dropped to the floor.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked frantically, popping his head over the side of the bed to look down at me.

I blinked up at him.

"My legs are jelly," I said, poking at my thigh muscles to stimulate them.

Edward laughed at me. It _was_ pretty funny.

"Maybe we over did it a bit last night," Edward said, grimacing as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and placed his feet on the floor. "My legs feel like jelly too."

I mock glared at him.

"Over did it? Hey, if I have to choose between the use of my legs and a night of sensational sex with the man I love, I choose the sex."

Edward gave me a goofy smile before slowly standing and helping me off the floor. We both hobbled slowly toward the bathroom where Edward left me to do my business.

After I got dressed, Edward walked me to the door. We kissed goodbye for ten minutes before it began to get a little intense. When he began groping my breasts, I grudgingly decided to put an end to things before we were both extremely late for work. I opened the door to leave, but stopped quickly when I noticed something on the landing. It was a basket with a hand towel tossed over the top, and a note.

Bending down, I retrieved the basket and handed it to Edward, who looked as confused as I felt. He opened the note and read it. His eyes widened a bit before the corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile. Handing me the small piece of paper, he lifted the towel to reveal warm, sweet-smelling cinnamon buns.

_Yum._

I licked my lips and read the note.

_Bella and Edward – have a wonderful day at work. Love, Mom._

My throat tightened as tears stung my eyes. Edward leaned over and kissed me on my forehead.

"Guess you and Mom had some chat last night," he said, grinning at me. I smiled back, unable to talk after this sweet gesture.

Grabbing a cinnamon bun, I gave him a final kiss before running out the door and to my truck. I wanted to knock on the door to thank Esme and give her a big hug, but I didn't have time. I'd just have to wait until later.

After driving just a tad over the speed limit, I made it home and raced up the stairs to the shower. I dressed, dried my hair in record time, then drove to work and made it with two minutes to spare. Edward was already there, of course, booting everything up behind the pharmacy counter. When I stepped behind the partition he gave me a blinding smile before attacking me.

Five minutes later Edward was sitting on the floor between the shelves with me straddling him, grinding myself over his very hard erection while my hands pulled and gripped his hair. The opening of the door was a harsh slap of reality as we quickly scrambled off each other, surprisingly not injuring ourselves or the inventory in the process.

Lauren and Jess trudged their way through the aisles towards the front of the store. Lauren peeked at us over her shoulder and her eyes lingered on Edward longer than I liked. She was probably picturing him shirtless and sweaty. I slid my hand over Edward's ass and rested my hand in the pocket of his jeans, giving him a quick squeeze. He jumped a little before glancing over at me as we pretended to look busy working behind the divide.

"What was that for?" he whispered, smiling wickedly at me.

I shrugged. "Because I can. And because your ass looks too yummy in these jeans."

He snickered at me and shook his head before moving to his stool.

"We need to behave ourselves while we're here. I can't very well get through the day in this condition." He gestured towards his crotch before adjusting himself under the counter.

"Hey, you attacked me first," I replied defensively.

"I couldn't help it, your breasts look rather delectable in that sweater," he said, his eyes glowing at me. My entire body heated up and I had to bite down on my lip to keep from moaning and pouncing on him.

Releasing a deep breath, I closed my eyes and composed myself.

"I think it would be safer if I remained on my side of the partition," I said, laughing as I made my way down to my register. Luckily, the phone rang just as a customer approached the pharmacy, and the work day officially began.

It was a pretty busy day since was the beginning of flu season, after all, and the cold weather was known to bring illness in with it. The new school year had also just started, so now was the time those kids, or carrier monkeys, as I liked to call them, began sharing their germs. I had a lot of moms come in with sick kids snotting and sneezing all over my counter. I went through two bottles of hand sanitizer trying to protect myself.

I felt different today, more…I don't know…lighthearted? I didn't think I'd ever used that word in normal conversation before, but that was the only way I could describe it. My heart felt lighter, happier. I'd read that the emotion of love can cause actual physical symptoms. Perhaps that was what I was experiencing? A lighter heart? That didn't sound healthy, though. Maybe I should see a cardiologist. Or maybe I'd just ask my super-smart pharmacist boyfriend.

Edward had a perpetual smile on his face all day. He even came out from behind the partition and talked to a few customers. I think everyone was surprised by that, but when I saw him hand over a jar of lollipops to some of the sick kids, I melted just a bit.

We passed by each other a lot as the day went on, sharing secret touches and quick kisses back in the shelves. I just couldn't keep my hands off of him for long. Memories of the previous night's love-fest flooded my mind and my panties as I kept remembering what he looked like above me, beside me, under me…

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered into my ear as I stapled a bag closed and placed it on the pass through.

I grinned and turned to him, licking my lips. "You between my thighs."

His eyes widened and his mouth fell open before he recovered and pushed his glasses up his nose. That new twinkle in his eye that I saw for the first time last night after the meadow was easy to see behind his lenses, and I was just overjoyed that my boyfriend was turning into a sex fiend right along with me.

Edward stepped closer to me and ran his nose along my cheek, moving to my ear where his tongue crept out and licked my lobe sensually. I shuddered and pressed my body against his.

"As soon as we get out of here, we're going right back to your house, since its closer," he whispered. His hand slid down my side and squeezed my hip. "And I'll have those gorgeous thighs of yours wrapped around me before the door even closes."

I whimpered and instinctively tilted my head so he could nibble on my neck, but he only chuckled and backed away. My eyes fluttered opened and I grabbed the counter to hold myself up.

I looked up at Edward to yell at him for teasing me, but his gaze was directed toward the front of the pharmacy. I turned to find Jessica staring at us with her jaw on the floor. She was holding a box full of hair coloring to stock the shelves, but she just stood there looking at us.

"What?" I shouted at her, causing her to jump and blink.

"Um…uh…sorry," she stuttered before turning and heading back to the hair care aisle.

Edward chuckled and I smiled at him.

"Guess it will take some getting used to," I said, shrugging and shaking my head.

"Yeah, but they will get used to it, because I just can't stay away from you for too long, even if you're only a few feet away," he replied.

"They'll be sick of seeing us all over each other eventually."

His blinding smile was back.

"I love you," he mouthed at me.

"I love you too," I whispered, squeezing his hand in mine before gliding blissfully back to my register.

Glancing at the clock, I rejoiced that it was almost three o'clock and Edward and I would be back at my house and fucking like rabbits in just a few minutes.

_Tanya better not be late today or I may cut a bitch._

At three-fifteen, I wasn't too upset because James had yet to make an appearance, so I was still stuck here with Edward. Glancing behind me, I found Edward staring at me with an anxious look on his face.

_I know how you feel, baby._

I smiled at him and he smiled back. I heard the front door open and I prayed it was Tanya or James. Bending down, I began straightening up under the register with the hopes that we were about to be relieved and Edward could drag me out of the store all caveman-like.

"Well, well, I guess Dad's drunken ramblings were true," said a deep voice from in front of the counter. "Little Bella Swan is working at the illustrious Forks Pharmacy."

Straightening up, I blinked at the tall, dark-haired man before me. I knew this man, knew him as a boy. I threw up on his shoes, once upon a time, after he tried to kiss me on the playground. And he was one of the main instigators in making my Edward's life miserable.

"Hello, Tyler," I said, trying to keep the disgust from my voice.

I heard the squeak of Edward's stool behind me and his sharp gasp of breath.

~DYDM~

**A/N: **Yes I know this chapter is ridiculously late, but I appreciate your patience. Summers are difficult with all 3 kids home. Add moving to a new house to that, vacation, and dealing with the loss of my dear aunt…writing time was non-existent. But I'm back and this story will be wrapped up in another one or two chapters.

I'm also writing an EPOV outtake for this story for Fandom4LLS (Leukemia & Lymphoma Society), an organization dear to my heart since my father has been in remission for the past 8 years from non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. For more information, see the link in my profile.

Thanks again!


	19. EPOV Outtake

**A/N: **I know, I know, you're all wondering where the update is? All I can say is that I'm working on it, but struggling to find time to write. There's just so much going on in that little place I'm forced to live in called reality at the moment. Just know I'm not abandoning this story.

In the meantime, this is an EPOV outtake I wrote for the Fandom for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society that I'm now allowed to publish here so enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**EPOV**

The light from the breaking dawn crept through the windows overhead, casting my room in a deep blue glow. I could hear the crickets quiet and the birds take over their chirping outside, and the rumble of the garage door underneath my apartment signaled my father leaving for an early shift at the clinic before he went to his family practice.

I used to dread mornings. They meant I had to get up and face the world, to swallow my fear and go about my life. For me that meant the inability to get through one day without hearing the derogatory names and foul language spewed at me, or feeling the pushes and smacks to the back of my head…or worse.

I never could understand why they treated me in such a way. I guess I was a bit different. My social inadequacies led to many awkward situations when I was forced to interact with the other children in my class. I just didn't know how to…be with them. Making small talk was a foreign skill to me. It just wasn't in my make up to function normally in a social situation.

So I guess that made me an easy target.

I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing those memories to the back of my mind, wishing I could just dig a hole and bury them forever. If only it was that easy. I had to admit, though, that the direction my life had taken recently made it a bit easier to forget who I once was and allowed me to have hope that I could live the life I always wanted…with the girl of my dreams.

Sighing contentedly, I opened my eyes slowly to take in the beauty at my side. I was wrapped tightly in her arms and legs, her little fingers burrowed within my hair. It amused me how she positioned us for sleep, but according to Bella I was a bed-hog and this was the only way to control my flailing arms lest she risk injury. Not that I was complaining. I couldn't feel any more at peace than when I was in Bella's arms.

She was my angel, had saved me in countless ways. For as long as I could remember, she had done so, even if she couldn't remember those moments clearly. I, on the other hand, could never forget.

**~DYDM~**

"_Okay, class, I want you to take out your crayons. We're going to color our rainbows. Each rainbow will be different, as each of you are different. You see, these rainbows are all about you. For the first stripe, I want you to make it the color of your eyes," says Mrs. Fischer. _

_This isn't very interesting to me. I'd rather be in the library right now reading more about Ancient Egypt. I found the mummification process quite fascinating. So what if I still can't quite color inside the lines? Coloring is for nursery school. This is first grade. My time would be better spent reading._

"_Edward, are you coloring?" Mrs. Fischer asks, looking straight at me. I hear Tyler Crowley snicker behind me. Jerk._

_I nod my head and pull out my crayon box from inside my desk. Guess I need to do what she says. I wouldn't want Mrs. Fischer to have to call my mom to discuss my inability to follow directions. _

_So, the color of my eyes. Green. Where is the green? I hate when I have to dig through the entire box of crayons just to find the one I need. Wait, I think I see it. Of course it's buried at the bottom. _

_As my fingers fumble to get the crayon out, it rolls over the top of the box and onto the floor. Before I can reach down to grab it, Tyler's foot shoots out and covers it, pulling it back towards him. I turn around and scowl at him, but that smile on his face looks rather evil so I turn back around and slump in my seat. My eyes move towards Mrs. Fischer, hoping for some kind of intervention, but she is bent over Lauren's desk looking intently at her coloring._

"_You can use my green if you need it," comes a sweet voice from my left. I feel my cheeks warm before turning slightly toward her._

_Bella. Her big brown eyes remind me of hot chocolate and her long brown hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail but the little hairs that have escaped frame her pretty face, making it look so soft and delicate. She is holding out her hand with a green crayon perched on her fingertips while she glares back at Tyler._

_I can feel my hands shake as I reach out slowly to take the crayon from her. My fingertips graze hers and her eyes meet mine. I feel a weird tingling from where our fingers touch, but it is winter and static electricity is a common with the amount of heat they pump into these classrooms._

_I don't remember static electricity making my stomach feel funny, though. _

"_Thank…thank you," I stutter quietly. For some reason I feel nervous, yet excited at the same time. _

_Bella releases the crayon and shrugs her shoulders. "You're welcome." She turns back to filling in her brown stripe on her rainbow. _

_I watch her for a moment before I feel a hard kick to the back of my chair and hear Tyler snicker again. _

_He really is a jerk._

**~DYDM~**

My eyes gazed over her face, her features relaxed as she slept. As softly as I could as to not awaken her, I trailed my finger along her cheek and down her cute, button nose. I smiled, loving every inch of her, from her long, dark eyelashes to her full bottom lip to the small dimple in her chin.

My finger moved lower, caressing the side of her neck as I moved my body back slightly to gain me better access. Bella sighed softly, the warmth of her breath washing over my chest. Her fingers twitched in my hair, and I smiled again.

The softness of her skin mesmerized me as I spread my hand flat against her back, dragging my fingertips up and down her spine. She shuddered a bit and sighed again. Leaning my forehead against hers, I closed my eyes and wrapped myself in the serenity of the moment. Was it possible to love someone this much?

**~DYDM~**

_This will be the third pair in the last six months. Mom's not going to be happy about this. She told me the last time that if I broke them again, then she's just going to start taping the broken pieces together and I'll have to wear them that way. Great, like I'm not already ostracized enough for the way I look. I glare at my Hush Puppies and navy blue slacks that are just a tad too short on me, but Mom got them for a bargain during her Back-To-School shopping spree and was determined I get a few good wearings out of them despite the fact that I had a major growth spurt within the past few weeks._

_I sit in the ugly yellow chairs outside of the main office and unsuccessfully attempt to arrange the broken lenses on my face. Suddenly the door opens and my breath rushes out of me._

_She is wearing her hair down today, the long brown tendrils draped over her shoulders. Her face is slightly tan, a smattering of freckles covering her cute, button nose. I know her dad likes to fish a lot. I wonder if she fishes with him. Or maybe she stays at home and lounges out in the sun, probably reading a book. I know she likes to read a lot._

_I open my mouth to say something…hello? Yes, hello would be good. But my throat seizes up, and I glance nervously back at my shoes. My broken glasses slide down my nose and I sigh, frustrated, before pushing them back up and holding them there. _

"_You waiting for someone?" her sweet, melodic voice asks me._

_I watch her sit in the chair next to me, and that strange tingling begins to surge throughout my entire body. I love being this close to Bella, and hate it at the same time. It's a delicious torture I am slightly obsessed with. I should probably be worried about that, but I can't bring myself to care. As long as I can be close to her and as often as possible, I'll suffer through these strange feelings and the tightening in my gut._

_Bella tosses her long hair over her shoulder. Mmmm, she smells like strawberries._

_I close my eyes and inhale deeply for a few moments. When I open my eyes, she is staring at me._

_Crap._

_I can feel my cheeks turning red and I dart my eyes to the corner._

_Why is she staring at me? Oh, right, she asked me something._

"_What happened to your glasses?" she asks._

_A legitimate question, although one I was hoping not to answer. I should just lie to her, like I plan to do to my mother._

_I clear my throat a few times to make sure I can actually speak._

"_Gym class..." I begin to say, but she interrupts me._

"_Oh, yes, the dreaded dodgeball game. I hate gym. It's bad enough we have to endure forty-five minutes of physical activity but do we really need to play dodgeball? Do they understand how much it hurts to get whacked in the head with a large rubber ball?"_

_Her mini-tirade stuns me for a moment. _

"_Um…yeah…yes…I agree. I hate it, too," I stumble out. "But…I, uh, actually didn't make it to the dodgeball game. I, um…my glasses fell off accidentally and I stepped on them, so…"_

_Bella blinks at me and her deep brown eyes seem to flicker for a moment. _

"_You glasses accidentally fell off your face?" she asks, arching her eyebrows. _

_I nod and avoid her gaze. She knows I'm not telling her the truth. I better perfect my lying ability before my mother gets here. I'm certainly not going to tell her that Tyler, Matt and Chris shoved me into the wall and pulled the glasses of my face before Tyler bent the frames and handed them back to me with a smug grin on his face._

"_Why are you here?" I ask, attempting to stealthily change the subject. She narrows her beautiful eyes at me for a moment before shaking her head._

"_My dad is picking me up to take me to my doctor's appointment. I'm going to see your dad, actually," she replies, smiling slightly. I feel my insides warm._

"_Happy birthday," I whisper, knowing full well why she's going to see my father. It's her 10-year well visit. Today is September 13th, her birthday._

_Bella's mouth opens slightly and my eyes watch with great interest as her teeth slide over her bottom lip. She nibbles on her bottom lip as her eyes drop to her lap._

"_Thanks," she whispers in return._

_A moment of silence passes between us, but it is not at all uncomfortable. I simply enjoy being next to her and watching her out of the corner of my eye._

"_So how do you like the fifth grade so far?" she asks me._

_I shrug, not quite knowing how to answer that question. So far it's hell, just like every other year._

_She seems to be satisfied with my lack of response because she continues talking._

"_I don't know why you let those jerks treat you like they do," she says and I look over at her in shock. I open my mouth to defend myself, but nothing comes out._

"_They're just a bunch of bullies who are afraid of someone who is way smarter than them, but to show they're tough guys they have to pick on you and embarrass you in front of everyone…" she trails off, her teeth going into her bottom lip again. _

_My eyes sting with tears and I look away._

_The door opens and Chief Swan walks in, his fingers running through his hair._

"_Hey Bells, sorry I'm late," he says as he exhales heavily. "We gotta run if we're going to make it to your appointment on time. Oh, hey Edward."_

_I nod my head and wave half-heartedly as my ears are still burning from Bella's little rant._

"_Okay, Dad," she says, standing and pulling her backpack over her shoulder. Chief Swan steps into the office to sign her out. _

_Bella turns to me, but my eyes are trained back on my Hush Puppies. My fingers are still holding the broken frames to my face. I hoped Mom would be here soon with my backup pair of glasses._

"_But you'll show them one day, won't you, Edward?" she says quietly before turning and following her father out of the building._

_I squeeze my eyes shut and shudder out a breath, a single tear finally escaping and sliding down my cheek._

**~DYDM~**

Unable to resist the feel of her silky skin, I placed my lips against her shoulder and kissed her gently. She stirred against me and sighed as her fingers moved through my hair and down the back of my neck. I loved how even in her subconscious she cleaved to me. I brushed my lips over her neck and down to her collar bone. Closing my eyes, I breathed her in deeply once more as thoughts of her consumed me.

I would never get over how much faith she had in me, even if she never realized it herself. And perhaps growing up I couldn't bring myself to believe the things she'd mumbled to me, that I was better than the bullies, that I would show them all, but now things were different. Now I had her…she was mine. And for the first time in my life I could believe her. I believed I was worth it, that I was a strong man and was better than those who felt like they had to prove something by humiliating me for my weakness.

She had changed me for the better. And I loved her even more for it.

The emotions overcame me and I squeezed her to me, holding her as close as I could. I didn't care if I woke her up; in fact I wanted her to wake so I could tell her what she had done for me. Or better yet, to show her.

~DYDM~

_Crap. The first bell and I'm not even close to being finished. I have to hurry if I want to make it to English before the second bell. But I really wanted to get this Shakespeare research finished. Sure the paper isn't due until the end of the year, but I like getting the big assignments finished and out of the way, plus I'm pretty sure I'll get some extra credit for turning it in early. _

_I wonder if Bella picked her topic for her Shakespeare paper yet. She seems really interested in Romeo & Juliet. I could offer her some assistance, maybe a few topic suggestions? Would she get offended, thinking I didn't see her as smart enough? Yeah, that would sound presumptuous of me. I know she's smart. She'll come up with something well thought out, I'm sure. _

"_Edward, are you going to check those books out? You only have a minute before the second bell," asks Mrs. Lowell as she taps her chipped fingernails on the reference desk._

"_Um…yeah…I need to check out these three," I stammer, gathering the books and papers in front of me and shoving them haphazardly into my bag. In my haste a few papers spill to the floor and I bend down to retrieve them._

_I hear Mrs. Lowell sigh as she scans the books I'm borrowing and piles them on top of the desk. Once I'm situated I sling my bag over my shoulder and gather the books in my arms, running full speed for the door. The books are heavy and I can feel the weight of them shift in my arms as they slide toward my chest._

_I turn my shoulder toward the door as I readjust the books in my arm and push hard. I hear the second bell ring shrilly just as the door meets with some resistance and I hear a harsh yell._

_My heart jumps in my throat as I freeze. I peek around the edge of the door to see the body of a girl sprawled out on the floor. Once my eyes reach her face, I feel like I'm going to vomit._

"_Oh my god, Bella?" I say frantically, the books and my bag sliding to the floor as I drop to her side. _

_My hands are shaking uncontrollably as they hover over her body, never touching her, as my mind races with what to do for her. How could I be so stupid? How could I hurt the only girl I'll ever love?_

"_Ow," she groans as her hand slowly rubs her forehead._

_I watch her intently, my entire body trembling as I pray I haven't caused any permanent head trauma. She pulls her hand away and I notice a large red welt forming on her beautiful skin. I cringe and inwardly berate myself for being such a mindless klutz._

_Her soulful brown eyes blink up at me and I can see her trying to focus._

"_Are you all right?" I choke out, my throat tight and my breathing shallow. _

_She blinks again. "Edward?" _

"_I'm sorry, Bella, so, so sorry, I didn't know you were there…" I want to cry._

"_I'm okay," she says as she rolls her head from side to side. "It's okay."_

_I am vaguely aware of our surroundings now and the many sets of eyes trained on us send my heart into overdrive. I can only be thankful for one thing in this entirely messed up situation, and that is the fact that Bella is not bleeding because all I need is to faint right now to make this experience _completely _humiliating._

_Then I hear the snickers and the laughter and the taunts._

"_Good one, Cullen," a gruff voice comes from my left, followed by some hooting and hollering. Why aren't these people in class? The second bell rang already. _

"_I'm sorry," I blurt out again before quickly gathering my things and running as fast as I can away from the only thing that matters…who I injured with my own ineptitude and carelessness. _

_How could I be so stupid?_

**~DYDM~**

The gentle brush of her fingertips along my shoulders told me that she was awake. I tightened my arms around her once more before I pulled back to see her beautiful face. Her eyelids were heavy with sleep but I could still see myself in those chocolate brown pools that drowned me every time I looked at her.

Her brow furrowed as she stared up at me.

"Are you all right, baby?" she asked me softly.

I smiled and nuzzled my nose against hers.

"I love you," I said, ghosting my lips over her cheek before placing a kiss on her lips.

She rolled to her back and pulled me on top of her. Her legs opened instinctively as I settled between them. It always came naturally for us, like we were meant to be this way. When we were close like this, I was home.

"I love you, too," she replied, her lips leaving soft, sensual kisses all over my face as her fingers slid back up into my hair, gripping it gently, yet hard enough to elicit a very strong physical response from me.

And those words, those three little words that moved the entire earth every time she spoke them to me, to _only_ me. I swore on everything holy that I had to be the luckiest man in the world to have such an amazing creature love me. I realized a long time ago that it had been worth all the hell I went through in my life, the torment, the humiliation, the insecurity, to find my destiny with the woman underneath me.

As our lips met again and again, our tongues tasting each other, my hands roamed the curves of her body, a body that I had become so familiar with in such a short amount of time. I had memorized every inch of her, and I knew exactly where she liked to be touched, and where my fingers or tongue could make her scream with pleasure.

I would never tire of this. Worshipping Bella's body was something I planned on doing for the rest of my life if she'd have me.

"Baby, I need you," she moaned, undulating her hips against mine, and I found myself out of my mind with desire as well. I was so damn hard it was nearly painful.

There was no hesitation. It was my privilege and pleasure to give her what she wanted.

I slid my tongue into her mouth as I pushed my cock into her warm wetness, our bodies becoming one. I couldn't hold back the moan of relief at connecting with her once more.

_Utter perfection._

The need and desire coursed through me, something primal awakening within me every time we were together like this. I watched Bella's eyes darken as she noticed the change in me, her hands sliding down my back to my ass, pushing against me, encouraging me to move deeper and faster.

Gritting my teeth, I increased the speed of my hips as I surged back and forth, the delicious friction adding fuel to the fire burning within me as the sounds of our lovemaking echoed in my ears.

"Oh, yesss…" she hissed, her nails digging into my back. I growled in response.

Her moans grew louder and her thighs tightened around me. I knew she was close. I raised my body above hers and placed my weight on my arms so I could watch her come undone around me.

Her eyes clenched tight as she lifted her hips up to meet mine. She flung her hands behind her and gripped the headboard tightly.

"Oh, oh, oh my God…Edward!" she yelled, arching her back. I couldn't resist as I lowered my head to her chest and suckled on her breast, taking her nipple between my teeth. She yelled my name again and I felt her muscles flutter around me from the inside.

Lifting my head I watched with satisfaction as she came apart, her face contorting in pleasure as her mouth fell open in a silent scream.

"That's it, baby," I encouraged her. "Let it go. Give it to me."

"Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck," she chanted as I stilled above her, giving her a moment to come back down.

She slowly opened her eyes and smiled.

"You certainly know how to wake a girl up," she said with a giggle. The movement made my cock twitch within her. Her eyebrows drew up lazily as she rolled her hips.

"Your turn, baby," she whispered.

Raising her hands to my face, she kept our gazes locked as I began to move inside her once more.

_As if I could look away._

Soon enough we were panting and clawing at each other. She wrapped her legs around my hips, locking them together at the ankles. I felt the slow burn begin in my groin, slowly spreading outward through my abdomen, the familiar surging feeling building and building with every thrust of my hips.

I could see her begin to fall apart again, her mouth slowly falling open as thrust harder and harder against her.

"Fuck, baby," I moaned, unable to contain myself. "I fucking love you so much."

She lifted her head to kiss me deeply. "I fucking love you, too."

It may not have been eloquent or romantic, but it was us. We knew the strength of our love and devotion for each other, and just how deep it ran. All we needed was to look at each other to see it without having to speak the words at all.

"Come inside me," she moaned against my lips. "I want to feel you."

With one final thrust, she cried out as she threw her head back while I buried myself as deep within her as I could get. I moaned out a few unintelligible words and curses as I released inside of her, slowly pumping my hips as I came down from the high of what we had just shared.

It was always beautiful. It was always passionate.

Opening my eyes, I gazed down at the love of my existence.

She was the salve that healed my wounded soul. She was my gift for what I had endured. She was the reason I could wake up excited to see what the day would bring. She was the future I never thought I'd have.

With her by my side, I uncovered the courage and strength buried within me to discover the man I was meant to be.


	20. Chapter 20

**Boo!**

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer.

This chapter is un-beta'd. I thought 8 months was long enough to wait for an update. So I take full responsibility for all mistakes.

**Chapter 19**

Tyler freakin' Crowley. The last person I wanted to see at this moment…or ever.

He stared at me for a while, his lips twisted in a creepy smirk. I wanted so badly to turn around and see how Edward was. I knew he was aware Tyler was here. After what happened with Mr. Crowley, I didn't want Edward to suffer another anxiety attack. Hopefully Tyler wouldn't cause trouble.

I decided to play it cool and keep things professional.

"What can I do for you, Tyler?" I asked. "Dropping off, or picking up?"

He chuckled quietly like I had just said something amusing.

"How do you like dealing with sick people all day, Bella? Snot-nosed kids and old people who can't control the smells coming from their bodies?" he asked, chuckling again.

_Idiot._

I smiled disingenuously. "I haven't been working here long, but so far I enjoy the job immensely. In my own way I feel like I'm helping those sick people and it's been very rewarding."

His smile slowly disappeared.

"And what have you been up to, Tyler? What brings you back to Forks? Oh wait, what was it I heard? You couldn't hack it in the Marines? A…dishonorable discharge, I believe it was called?"

_Yeah, stick that in your pipe and smoke it, dickwad._

His eyes darkened and his brows furrowed so deep they formed a V between his eyes.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he said menacingly.

I felt Edward's presence behind me immediately. Tyler's gaze moved upwards behind me. The dark look in his eyes quickly disappeared and his face morphed into a look of incredulity.

"Cullen, our friendly neighborhood pharmacist," Tyler said sarcastically. "How's it been, Geekward?"

My blood began to boil as I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palm in some sort of effort to calm myself before I jumped over the counter and punched him in the face. But my concern for Edward kept me rooted to my spot. Reaching behind me, I offered Edward my hand should he need that lifeline again to ground him. But he didn't accept it.

"Can we help you, Tyler?" he asked quietly. I could sense the wariness in his tone.

Tyler huffed. "Oh, right, like you helped my dad the other day? Sounds like this place does nothing but dick over its customers."

"We explained the situation to your father, Tyler," I said. "We would've liked to have helped him, but our hands were tied."

Just then the back door opened and Tanya came strutting through while talking on her cell phone. She didn't even look over at us, but kept walking straight through the store to the refrigerators, where she grabbed a Snapple.

I sighed heavily and looked back at Tyler.

"Is there something you needed, Tyler, or did you just come in here to bitch at us about what happened with your dad," I said, exasperated. I didn't even care about acting professionally anymore. He obviously wasn't here as a customer and now that Tanya graced us with her presence I just wanted to go home.

Tyler's eyes darted around quickly before turning his focus back on me.

"I'd watch my mouth if I were you, Bella," he sneered at me. "Or if you can't, I'm sure I can find something to stuff in there to shut you up." Tyler grabbed his crotch and smirked at me.

I gasped in shock. Utter shock.

_Did he really just say that to me? _

Edward was suddenly beside me gripping the edges of the counter so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

"You'd better watch _your_ mouth, Tyler. You do not speak to Bella that way," Edward said, his voice deep and forceful. His face was red and he was trembling as usual, but he wasn't my frightened animal in that moment. He was a predator ready to attack.

"Oh, what are you gonna do about it, Dickward?" Tyler spat, stepping closer to the counter.

I grew very anxious, not wanting the two of them to start anything right here in the middle of the store. Luckily there were only two customers, and they were at the front counter checking out. I was also worried for Edward. Tyler was a big guy and Edward had been his victim since elementary school. I couldn't help but want to protect Edward in any way I could.

Luckily Tanya chose that moment to step behind the pharmacy counter, sipping her Snapple and holding her cell phone out towards Edward.

"Edward, my brother wants to talk to you," she said.

Edward expelled a harsh breath and muttered a curse all the while glaring Tyler down. I had to admit I was impressed by this side of him…and more than a little turned on, which was saying a lot considering I had been horny for him since arriving at work that morning.

He turned towards Tanya and took the phone from her. After a few deep breaths, he addressed Eleazar. Tyler began laughing loudly which caused Edward to jump and look back at him. This only caused Tyler to laugh harder until Edward disappeared into the back room with our boss on the phone.

"What the hell is your problem?" I growled at him.

"Brittany, that is not how we address our customers," Tanya admonished. I held back the urge to roll my eyes and elbow her in the teeth.

"It's Bella, and he's not a customer."

Tanya blinked at me. "Oh, well I'll be working on the aisle displays. Just let James know when he gets here."

And she flounced back out into the store leaving me alone with the asshole.

"Well, I must say this is the most fun I've had in a while," Tyler said, chuckling as he slid his hands into his pockets.

"You need to leave, Tyler," I said, glaring daggers at him.

"Whoa ho ho, no need to get hostile," he said, grinning at me.

_Seriously?_

"Oh, like you just did to Edward?"

He narrowed his eyes and regarded me for a moment in silence.

"Relax, I'm just here to see a friend," he finally said.

"Who, Jessica or Lauren? They're shift already ended. They're gone."

Tyler licked his lips and smile. "Uh, no, I don't consider those sluts my friends, although once upon a time they were pretty friendly with me if you know what I mean." He winked and I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

"You're a pig."

"Sticks and stones, Bella," he said, laughing again.

The back door opened again and James came strolling in. He stopped abruptly when he noticed Tyler standing in front of the counter. His face went a little pale and his eyes widened.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked.

_So creepy sleazeball James is his friend? Figures._

"Hey buddy, long time no see," Tyler said with a big smile as he approached James.

James looked at me nervously.

_What's up with that?_

"I thought I told you I'd meet up with you later tonight when I got off," James said, plastering a fake smile on his face.

"Well I just had something I had to ask you that couldn't wait until tonight," said Tyler. "Can you step outside for a few minutes? Won't take up too much of your time."

James gritted his teeth and glared at Tyler.

"No, actually, I gotta get to work here."

Tyler's smile faded quickly.

"I don't think you get it, James. I _really _need to ask you something. It's important." Tyler grabbed James's shoulder and squeezed it a few times.

I saw James clench his fists a few times, and I had the feeling that if he could kick the shit out of Tyler right now he would.

"Sure thing, Ty. I'll give you two minutes. Let's just step outside."

James didn't even look back at me as the two of them left the store quickly.

_What the hell was that all about?_

I stood there staring at the front of the store utterly confused. After a moment, I realized Edward still hadn't come back out.

Since Tanya was playing interior decorator somewhere in the store and James was otherwise occupied, I couldn't just leave the pharmacy counter unattended. So I angrily tapped my fingernails against the countertop until luckily James came back inside. He stepped up behind the counter and kept his eyes to the floor as he went back behind the partition.

I sighed and peeked my head around to inform him that Tanya was doing the aisle displays. He grunted at me and began clicking away on the computer. I took that as my cue to leave and I quickly made my way to the back room.

Edward was sitting at the little desk staring down at Tanya's hot pink cell phone. His hands were tightly gripping his knees and he was trembling again.

"Hey," I said.

"Did he leave?" he asked quietly.

I stepped up behind him and placed my hands on his shoulders. "Yes."

Edward sighed and his chin dropped to his chest. I took the opportunity to run my fingers through his hair as I knew it had a calming effect on him. After a minute, he stood and began gathering his things. I followed suit and we both left the store in silence. During the short drive back to my house with Edward following behind me, I took a few thousand deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself.

We pulled into the driveway and walked into the house. Edward still had not spoken.

"Are you okay?" I asked tentatively. He stood in the middle of the living room with his hands on his hips, staring down at his feet.

"No," he mumbled. "I wanted to…to…"

"Kick his ass?" I finished for him.

He nodded. "For speaking to you that way. When he said that to you, I just…saw red and all this rage filled me…"

Edward began to pace back and forth, his trembling hands pushing his hair out of his face.

"And yet through the sheer violence I wanted to unleash on that asshole, a tiny voice inside me was telling me that if I hit him or cursed at him like I wanted to, then that would make me no better than him," he continued as he paced. "I would be stooping to his level and taking the bait as he was obviously trying to get a reaction from me by saying those things."

"Baby, you need to calm down," I said as I approached him. Placing my hands on his arm, I pulled his hands away from his hair and turned him to face me. "I know you're all worked up, but you can't let him get to you. It's obvious he hasn't changed much. He's still a punk and probably always will be one. But that makes him the bad guy, and that's his problem."

"You don't understand, Bella," he said, his eyes still trained on his shoes. "I've put up with that guy for almost my entire life and while the shit he said and did to me hurt, I merely dealt with it and moved on but now…today…it was different because he was directing it at you…and you…you're…" Edward stuttered through his rant, squeezing his eyes shut tight before opening them and looking at me finally.

His hands moved to my waist and gripped my hips tightly. He was breathing heavily and shaking.

"What is it?" I asked him gently, running my hands up and down his arms trying to soothe him.

"I treasure you above all things. You are the most important gift I have ever been given, and for that reason I feel very protective of you," he said quickly, but quietly. "I can't stand the thought of harm ever coming to you. And I fear…what if…what if I can't…protect you." His voice fell into a whisper. I could read the fear in his eyes, and it was as if I could hear his silent thoughts.

Would he be able to stand up to the bullies who put him down his whole life if it came to protecting me?

I knew I had to put an end to this. He was worked up from his confrontation with Tyler, and that was causing him to think irrationally. His anxiety was taking over at the moment.

"Baby," I whispered, placing my hands to his face and pulling him down until our foreheads were touching. "You already do protect me, every second of the day, because you love me and I love you. That makes us stronger, and no matter what douchebags like Tyler Crowley say or do, we don't even pay them any mind because it doesn't hurt us. It can't hurt us. We have each other and always will, and that makes us pretty invincible, I think."

Edward whimpered a little and squeezed his eyes shut again. His hands slid up my back until I was encased tightly in his arms. I buried my face in his neck and inhaled deeply. He was still trembling and I could feel the anxiety rolling off of him in waves.

Knowing my Edward craved physical contact, and that I needed to bring him back to me, my mind quickly conjured up an idea that would give him the control he needed while quickly dissipating this haze of anger and fear that was currently blinding him. Not that it would be a major inconvenience on my part since I craved and desired him with every passing second.

I began to trail soft kisses along his neck while slightly shifting my hips against him. My hands slid up and down his back, pressing harder against his straining muscles with each down stroke. Rubbing my nose along his chin, I listened to his breathing stutter and start again and when he pulled back I was rewarded with his dark gaze of desire.

"Edward," I simpered, lowering my eyes and nibbling my lower lip. I heard him gasp and his trembling began to ease.

I slid my hands over his shoulders, following the movement with my eyes as I stopped at his biceps and squeezed, groaning loudly at the feel of the hard muscle underneath. He flexed his arms in response and I bit my lip again to contain another moan. My hands moved back up to his shoulders and down over his pectoral muscles, tracing the outline of each with my fingertips, down to the washboard abs I knew lay beneath his shirt. Edward shuddered and groaned.

"You are so strong," I whispered breathily, feeling near overcome with lust for this man. "So brave. I know you will always be there to protect me because I'm yours. I'll always be yours and no one else's. But now, baby…now I need you…need you to take care of me."

I couldn't stop my thighs from rubbing together as I felt the pulse and throb between my legs that was ever quickly turning into a dull ache. I did need him…desperately.

"Please take care of me, Mr. Cullen," I whispered as I gazed up at him from underneath my lashes and smirked.

Edward let out a little growl and before I could think the words _'hot damn' _his lips were on mine and he was aggressively grabbing at my ass.

I knew this would be hard. I knew this would be fast. And I knew this was what we both needed.

But Edward suddenly ceased his desperate groping and took a step away from me. I felt the loss immediately.

"Bella, I can't…I'm too out of control right now…" he gasped.

"I know," I said, reaching for him. "It's okay, I want you to…"

He shook his head frantically. "No, I…I don't want to hurt you."

"Baby, you can't hurt me. You won't. I want you so badly. You and I both need this. Please," I said, leaning into him and wrapping my arms around his neck. "Let it go. Release it. Use me. I _want_ you to."

Pressing my mouth to his, I couldn't help my cry of relief when I felt his hands grip my waist again and his tongue invade my mouth. He moved us backwards until I felt the sofa at my back.

I could feel it like a physical thing, the way the air in the room shifted. Despair and fear gave way to nothing but primal need. I was experiencing a whole new side to Edward, and discovering an unknown piece of myself, as well, as my body responded hungrily to his aggression.

But I could still feel him holding back.

"I'm being too rough," he gritted through his teeth. "But I can't…can't stop…"

"Don't," I replied through my heavy panting. "Be rough with me. I want it."

He moaned loudly as I frantically ripped his shirt up and over his head. Whipping his glasses off his face, he tossed them over the couch to the coffee table before ripping the shirt off of me…literally. Buttons flew everywhere as he peeled the torn blouse from my arms. It was so fucking hot.

And the fact that he didn't even apologize or look shocked at his own behavior turned me on even more.

"Oh fuck, baby," I whimpered, the heat between my legs now a full on inferno. "Please…"

Suddenly I was picked up and tossed onto the couch, my pants and panties being hastily pulled down my legs and my shoes and socks tossed aside. I was unceremoniously hauled to the edge of the cushions as Edward began licking a heated trail up my thighs.

"I fucking want to devour you, Bella," he growled. "I need to taste you, to take you inside me."

I didn't have time to feel apprehensive about what he was going to do. Before I had been reluctant to try this considering my history, but any inhibitions I had flew right out the window whenever Edward and I were together like this.

I felt his teeth nip at the skin at the top of my thighs and watched enraptured as his eyes met mine. He stared at me for a moment, his dark eyes gleaming in the waning afternoon light. I gasped as I felt his fingers digging into my thighs before sliding upwards. His lustful gaze dropped to where his fingers began tracing me intimately, then finally sliding into me. He watched his ministrations with a look of awe, and I couldn't tear my eyes away, even with the amount of pleasure washing over me with every push and pull of his fingers. Suddenly his movements quickened and his breathing turned to panting as he became uncontrolled once more, uninhibited.

Edward growled low in his throat and without any warning his fingers moved away from me, only to be replaced by his mouth. I threw my head back and gasped, a cry catching in my throat as his tongue licked up the length of my pussy. His lips wrapped around my clit and he sucked hard. I arched my back against my will as my fingers dug into the sofa cushions, my body taking over instinctively as it fought to channel the euphoric sensations overwhelming me.

"Oh, fuck baby," I cried out.

"Ahhh," he sighed, leaning back slightly. "You taste so sweet. I could eat you all fucking day."

Diving back in, his tongue traced around my clit a few times before moving lower and plunging inside me. I yelled out again as he fucked me with his tongue, his hands sliding up over my belly to grip my breasts, pinching and pulling at my nipples.

"Ah, ah…oh…mmmm," I babbled incoherently as he worked some amazing magic with his hands, lips and tongue. My hips rose up and his hands quickly moved down to hold me still against his face.

After what seemed like hours of this exquisite torture, I could feel that familiar coiling in my lower belly, the fluttering and pulsing of my muscles signaling the impending orgasm that he was expertly coaxing from me. I was panting so heavily it was a miracle I didn't pass out.

"Give it to me, baby," he crooned. "I want to drink you down."

And that was all it took. My dirty talking boy only had to utter a few words to make that spring finally snap. I gripped the sofa and arched my back once more as my release shot through me. He moaned and growled against my flesh, his tongue never relenting. Finally, after I could take no more, he eased up and slowly pulled away from me.

I was gasping and whimpering pathetically, but I didn't care. That had been one of the most amazing orgasms of my life, and I had a feeling it would only get better.

Edward seemed to agree.

"I'm not done with you yet," he said, his voice deep and husky.

In a flash, his jeans were pulled off his legs and I was pulled off the couch and spun around until I was on my knees with my cheek pressed against the cushions. I could feel Edward against my ass, rubbing his erection through my cheeks. His fingers slid around my body to grip my breast, kneading it gently before sliding down and pressing against my clit. I cried out and ground my ass against him, begging him to take me again.

"Nice and wet for me, aren't you," he said sweetly, and I could almost hear his devilish smirk.

"Please," I begged, unable to hold back another whimper of need.

"Don't worry, baby, I'll take care of you."

"Mmmm," I moaned in response.

With my back to him and my face pressed against the cushion, I couldn't see him at all, so when he slammed into me in a single thrust, it took me by surprise and I called out to Edward, God, and whoever else was around to hear me.

"Oh, my…fuck!" That was about all I could speak at that moment.

"Oh, yeah…that's it," he replied.

I had the slight presence of mind as he began to fuck me hard and fast to remember that he needed this control to forget Tyler, forget his insecurities and realize that he had me and that I was going nowhere.

"Baby you feel so good," I wailed, my voice slightly muffled by the cushion. My arms were flailing wildly as I fought to gain purchase on something…anything that could ground me. Finally Edward wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled my upper body upright so that I was flush against his chest. I gripped his muscled forearm for something to hold on as he slid his other hand back to my clit, where he began rubbing furiously.

"Is this tight pussy mine to fuck whenever I want," he growled out at me through gritted teeth.

"Yours…always," I replied breathlessly.

"Fucking right, mine."

I could feel his harsh breaths beat against my cheek so I turned my head to capture his lips in a heated kiss. Our tongues slid against each other, our lips caressing the other's hungrily. Surprisingly I found it utterly erotic to taste myself on his lips. The room was a cacophony of moans and grunts and our skin slapping together rapidly with every plunge of his cock.

"Mmmm, tell me again, Bella," he said, his voice cracking with emotion.

Opening my eyes, I stared right into his green depths as I said the truest words I had ever spoken.

"I love you," I whispered against his lips.

He moaned and dropped his forehead to my shoulder. His fingers moved frantically over me until I was crying out once more. Edward's hips stilled and I could feel his cock pulse inside me as he came hard.

We were a sweaty, panting mess, unable to move from our position on our knees until finally we peeled ourselves apart and fell on top of the couch. Edward wrapped me in his arms and pulled me close before reaching up and dragging the quilt off the back of the couch, covering us.

"Thank you," he whispered into my hair as our breathing slowed.

"The pleasure was all mine," I said, giggling.

"Not entirely," he said, looking down at me with a lazy smile.

He looked different than he had when we first entered my house. Relaxed. Satisfied. Peaceful. I had accomplished my mission and reaped my own benefits in the process.

We snuggled for a good part of the late afternoon until our stomachs began growling. With big goofy smiles plastered on our faces, I left Edward to pull his clothes back on as I ran upstairs to get dressed since I very well couldn't put my ripped blouse back on. Edward met me at the bottom of the stairs and we entered the kitchen together.

"What do you feel like?" I asked him, opening the refrigerator to see what I could whip up.

"Anything, I'm starved," he replied, sitting down at the table. "Hey, what's this?"

"What?" I asked, standing and turning to see what he was talking about.

A large white envelope sat on top of the table with a post-it note on top. Approaching the table, Edward pulled off the post-it and handed it to me.

"Bella, this is my book. I appreciate you looking it over for me. Don't hold back. Any suggestions, criticisms, corrections, etc. you can give me would be a godsend. Thanks again – Jasper," I read aloud.

With all the drama, I nearly forgot about my conversation with Jasper last night where I agreed to review his book and make some edits, if necessary.

_And that he was going to pay me five hundred dollars._

"Wow, I guess I'm really doing this."

"Sounds like Jasper appreciates the help," Edward said, smiling at me.

"I'm no professional editor or anything," I replied, unable to completely grasp why Jasper was going to pay me so much money for reading his book. I doubted I would be much help.

Edward reached out and squeezed my hand. "He's just asking you to read it through. It's always helpful to have another set of eyes read your work."

I sighed and stuck the post-it back on top of the thick envelope before leaning down to kiss Edward on the lips.

"How do tacos sound to you?" I asked him, adjusting the glasses on his nose.

"Heavenly," he replied, grinning at me.

I laughed and began gathering the ingredients I needed. Edward slid his cell phone out of his pocket and checked through his messages.

"I have a few thousand texts and voicemails from Emmett," he grumbled. "Guess I should call him at some point."

I also realized I should probably call Alice since I hadn't seen, nor spoken to her since I ran out of the bar last night in search of Edward.

As I was browning the ground beef, I suddenly remembered Tanya telling Edward that Eleazar wanted to speak with him.

"Hey, what did Mr. Denali want to talk to you about today?" I asked him.

Edward froze for a moment before opening the refrigerator and taking out the lettuce. He slowly turned towards me and crossed his arms over his chest.

"He wants me to come up to Port Angeles tomorrow after my shift," he replied.

"Oh, why?"

"He said…he said he has some questions for me."

I stopped stirring the meat as I registered the worry in Edward's tone.

_Questions? Questions about what? Our relationship? Are we actually breaking some company rule being together?_

"About the miscalculations in the inventory," he answered quietly.

Internally I let out a big sigh of relief.

"Oh."

_Wait._

Glancing over at Edward, I watched his fingers dig through his unruly hair.

"Wait, are you in trouble or something?"

~DYDM~

**A/N: **Surprised? Me too! Anyway, my goal is to start weekly or bi-weekly postings until this story is finished. Sorry for falling off the face of the earth for a while. Real life and all. Anyway, this story is also posted on Twilighted should FFn deem me unworthy, and I'm going to try to post on TWCS as well. This story WILL be finished…I would never abandon it.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 20**

Edward tried to assure me several times that he was not in any trouble, but I could tell he was nervous. We talked about it a little more, both hoping it was simply a mistake in the ordering, and not the major shit-storm that would certainly occur if, indeed, narcotics had gone missing from our shelves.

Unwilling to see the shadow of doom and gloom cross over Edward's face yet again that day, I stuffed him full of tacos and together we snuggled on the couch and watched bad television for the rest of the night. We made out like horny teenagers for awhile, which helped me to accomplish my goal of distracting him.

I did talk to Alice, who apologized forwards and backwards for drunkenly spilling Edward's big bad secret to me. I told her she had no way of knowing that he had yet to tell me the whole story, so no apology necessary. She was grateful Edward and I worked things out, and squealed like some inhuman animal when I told her I loved him and made sure he knew it. Edward blushed and nuzzled my neck when he overheard that part of the conversation.

Alice was spending the night in Port Angeles with Jasper since the two of them slept at our place the night before, and I told her to let Jasper know I'd get right to work on his book. After saying our goodnights, I glanced over at Edward and noticed his drooping eyes as he stared blankly at the television.

"Are you tired, baby?" I asked him quietly, running my fingers through his hair. "You look beat."

He blinked a few times and rubbed his hand over his face, pushing his glasses up into his hair. Sitting up beside me, he replaced his glasses on his nose and sighed heavily.

"Yeah, been a long day," he replied.

"You wanna sleep here?"

He smiled at me. "Of course I do. I always want to sleep with you, wherever you may be."

I snorted and pushed his shoulder. "You are a major cheeseball."

Edward laughed and tackled me on the couch. We kissed for a few minutes before he pulled away and just stared at me, love and adoration showing through his bright green eyes.

"Unfortunately, I think I should go home," he said sadly. "I want to go through a few things just to make sure I'm prepared to meet with Eleazar tomorrow, especially if I have to go right from work."

"What time will you be home from PA?" I asked with a pout.

He chuckled and kissed my nose. "Hopefully after dinner time. Want me to come over after?"

"Duh," I replied, tickling his side. He squawked and rolled off of me, landing on the floor with an "oof."

"Hey, falling on the floor is my schtick. Get your own."

"Har, har," he deadpanned, sitting up.

Edward left after a few more minutes—okay twenty-five—of kissing. I hated to watch him leave, knowing I'd be sleeping alone tonight. Funny how in just a short time together, I was already used to sleeping next to him and somehow sleeping without him just seemed…not right.

Needing to keep my mind off missing my boyfriend, I cracked open the large white envelope on the kitchen table and found my favorite red pen in the junk drawer.

"A non-fiction book about the Civil War ought to put me right to sleep. No offense, Jasper," I mumbled to myself as I began to read.

Two hours later I was well into the text, my red pen marking up the margins here and circling grammatical errors there. The book was actually quite interesting. History had never been my favorite subject, but I suddenly found myself wanting to learn more. Jasper really knew his stuff. Unfortunately, he knew next to nothing about the proper use of a comma.

However, at half past midnight, the exhaustion took over and I capped my red pen and made my way up to bed. I slept rather well, but had some strange dream about Edward and Jasper in Confederate uniforms riding horses through some grassy field. Weird.

Work the next day dragged. We had some busy spurts, but overall the store seemed empty. Edward was more quiet than usual, and I knew he was nervous about his meeting with Eleazar. He had the inventory pulled up on the computer and print outs in his hand, checking and rechecking. I offered to help, but he just smiled and kissed me before disappearing back into the shelves.

Surprisingly, Tanya arrived on time, just as James came through the front door and worked his slimy charm on Jess and Lauren. Edward and I got our things and headed out to the lot. I stopped at his car with him and watched him throw his stuff in the back. He was trembling again, and running his fingers through his hair. I reached up and grabbed his hands in mine, placing them against my chest.

"You're okay," I assured him. "Everything will be fine. You feel this?" I placed his palm flat against my chest, against my beating heart. "Concentrate on that. It's beating for you."

He smiled, the anxiety fading from his eyes. "Now who's the cheeseball?" he whispered.

I grinned and winked at him. "We can make a competition of it, who can be the cheesiest?"

Making sure to give him one last kiss, during which I was sure I at least sucked the tension from his tongue if I couldn't suck it from the rest of him, I watched him drive away, praying it wasn't to meet Eleazar's wrath.

Some noise from the other side of the parking lot caught my attention. Curious, I walked the length of the lot past the back of the pharmacy. Caddy corner to our store stood a building that had been for sale for as long as I could remember. It used to be construction offices, but the owner went out of business long ago. Now, judging by the number of bulldozers and work trucks pulling onto the property, it looked like someone finally bought the place.

"Ah, there it is, the end of days for Forks Pharmacy," I heard James say. Turning, I found him leaning against the back door smoking a cigarette.

Normally I would turn and walk away from the sleazeball, but his words piqued my interest.

"What do you mean?" I asked, stepping closer and away from the noise of the trucks across the street.

He smiled menacingly at me before taking another drag from his smoke.

"Forks Pharm barely has customers as it is," he explained. "Most people just go to PA to get their prescriptions filled, or the grocery store pharm. And now that _that_ will be opening in a month or two, there's no way Eleazar will keep this dive open."

I guessed he read the confusion in my face because he pointed across the street. Turning, I noticed some guys in hard hats erecting a large sign in front of the empty building.

_Future site of Walgreen's Pharmacy_

"Holy shit, they're opening a chain pharmacy in Forks?" I asked, trying to make sense of what I was seeing.

James snickered. "Yep," he said, emphasizing the 'p' at the end of the word.

I knew the jackass spoke the truth. Our store was dead as it was, and now with a large chain opening across the street, we were doomed.

"And Eleazar knows about this?"

"Oh sure, he's known for a while. All of the business owners in the area were sent a press release."

A wash of emotions went through me—panic, fear, anxiety, anger. How could Eleazar keep this from his employees? Obviously James knew. I wondered if Edward knew. He would've told me, though…wouldn't he?

The sound of a cell phone ringing pulled me from my thoughts. I looked back and watched James take his phone from his pocket and smirk at the screen.

"Well, back to work," he said as he put the phone to his ear. "Wouldn't want to keep the throngs of customers waiting…oh wait…" He trailed off, smirking at me again before he disappeared into the store.

Sighing, I walked to my truck and got in.

_This just sucks._

I was tempted to call Edward, but he had enough to worry about at the moment. I wouldn't add to that. Instead I just drove home and attempted to distract myself by working on Jasper's book.

By ten o'clock I had finished the manuscript with a sense of victory, brushing my hand gently over the title page. Jasper had done well, and this book was actually really good. I had a feeling it would make him pretty successful in his field. I had a small feeling of pride knowing I had a little part in that.

My phone rang, startling me. Glancing at the screen, I saw it was Edward. Blinking, I looked at the clock and was actually shocked I never realized the time, and I was only now just hearing from him.

"Hello?"

"Hey…" he replied, his voice wary. "I'm sorry I'm calling so late."

"No, it's okay," I said, shaking the cobwebs out of my head. "I was just working on Jasper's book and didn't realize the time."

"Oh, how's that going?" he asked.

"Really well. I finished!" I exclaimed.

"You finished? You read the entire thing in one sitting?"

"No, I started it last night, actually. It's a good book, though. I know more about the Civil War now than I ever did, and it held my interest, so…"

"Well, I'm sure Jasper appreciates it."

I snorted. "He's paying me a lot of money. It's me doing the appreciating."

He chuckled, but I could tell it was forced.

"What happened today?" I asked.

He was quiet for a moment.

"Edward?"

"Not much…uh…Eleazar just wanted to discuss some things…"

_Hmmmm, he's hiding something._

"Did he want to talk about the missing narcotics?" I asked.

"Uh…more or less…"

"Why are you being so vague?"

I heard him sigh. "I…I can't really discuss it."

I huffed in frustration. "Really? Why?"

"It's just…there are some things that are going to be taking place and Eleazar kind of demanded my silence on the matter until these things come to light."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

_Hello, awkward silence, thank you for joining us._

I had to respect Edward's loyalty to his boss and family friend. So I decided to let it go for now.

"Hey, did you know they were building a Walgreen's across the street from us?" I blurted out as my voice raised a few octaves.

"Actually, I just heard about that today," he replied.

"What's going to happen? Will the store close?"

"Um…that's part of what Eleazar talked to me about…that I can't discuss yet…"

"Can you at least tell me if I'm going to be out of a job again? I mean, I haven't even received my first paycheck for fuck's sake." I was getting angry and frustrated at the lack of information he was able to give me about my future.

_It's not his fault, he's just doing what he was told._

"Bella…I…um…I don't…can't…" he babbled. I could almost see him trembling from here.

Sighing again, I squeezed my eyes shut and willed myself to calm down. "It's okay, I'm sorry for snapping at you, baby," I said, shaking my head. "I'm just a little frustrated."

"No, I understand. I'm sorry I can't tell you everything. I always want to tell you everything," he said sadly.

"I know."

Silence again.

"Well, are you still coming over tonight?"

"Actually, I'm still in Port Angeles."

I looked at the clock again. "You are?'

"Yes, Eleazar asked me to work with him at the PA store tomorrow so I'm sleeping at Emmett's."

Some kind of noise came out of my throat, and I'm not entirely sure it was human.

"But…what…tomorrow…"

"James is working a double tomorrow," he mumbled.

_Fuckity fuck fuck._

"I have to work with James tomorrow?"

"I'm so sorry, Bella, but there are some things…Eleazar needs me to help him with…fuck, it is so frustrating not being able to tell you everything!"

Usually when Edward said fuck it turned me on because hearing my quiet shy boy curse was hot. This time was different.

"There's something major happening, isn't there?" I said. His silence was all the response I needed. "I should start looking for another job, shouldn't I?"

Again, silence.


End file.
